


On The Road With Time

by affiliation



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, Complicated Relationships, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/M, Friendship, Love, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-03-16 15:57:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 90
Words: 121,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13639512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/affiliation/pseuds/affiliation
Summary: Seventeen years ago, a forbidden memory repressing jutsu was used to resurrect Rin Nohara in a deadly binding contract. At present day, under orders from her master and in exchange for her memories, she allies with the criminal organisation, Akatsuki to secretly spy on them for intel. But her duties come to a standstill when she falls for an enigmatic member of her team.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any Naruto characters 
> 
> This story is also available on FFN
> 
> A/N: There is a 4 year gap from when chapters 1-14 was written and chapters 15 and beyond. Apologies for the inconsistency in writing style.

_Seventeen Years Ago_

"My name is Orochimaru."

The world refocuses and she is staring back at cold yellow eyes, vaguely aware that she is in a suffocating dungeon with no recollection of how she got there in the first place.

Her eyes brusquely glances in multiple directions, assimilating this unusual environment, watching as several candle flames dance menacingly against dark dreary rocks.

There is a stone bench with stacks of books and scrolls scattered all over. A large shelf lined with more books and a cabinet beside it containing jars of what appears to be preserved snakes.

Beside her a grey-blue stone bench sits askew on a single fragile column. At first glance it looks unused, untouched. But when she observes closely, a red substance that looks suspiciously like blood ubiquitously materialises in strange patterns. Some appear wet, dripping to the ground in small piles whilst others cling to the side, dried and peeled.

This place reeks of death.

Then she feels it, an intolerable pain equivalent to the piercing of a thousand knives cutting through in sudden swift like movements and dissipating as quickly as it appeared.

When she looks down, she sees a giant black hole carved into her left chest. The fabric of her blouse is torn at the site of injury and she can feel a strange electrical energy surging uncomfortably beneath the wound.

Though her breathing is even, her heart is beating anomalously against her chest.

"That hole will disappear eventually," says a sinister voice.

She turns to face the speaking man, unable to formulate a coherent explanation as to why his appearance strikes her as sadistic.

"Where am I?" she asks dismissively.

"In my dungeon, but of course you are also probably wondering why you are here," he answers eagerly.

It was not a question.

"You died not long ago. I brought you back to life with a jutsu I have spent years trying to perfect," he pauses and when she says nothing he continues. "There's nothing better than bringing back a medical nin."

The girl's gaze is watchful, cautious, trying hard to absorb his words as she endeavours to work out who this man is and why her presence is evoking so much passive excitement in him.

"I don't remember anything," she answers flatly.

"Yes, it seems as if the jutsu isn't perfect _,_ " he replies evasively, an air of deception lacing his tone.

"Why would you want to revive a medical ninja if there are countless other more powerful shinobis to resurrect?" she asks suspiciously.

"Medical nins are intelligent. Intelligence is a necessity when one is striving to achieve their goals. I simply cannot do everything alone now can I, Rin?" he answers snidely.

She blinks.

"Rin?"

"Ah yes, I keep forgetting that you don't have your memories. Rin is your name," he says carelessly.

Rin looks to her hands, wondering if he is telling the truth or if he is just trying to brainwash her.

"Your assistance will grant you the freedom to choose anything you want."

"I don't want anything," she answers grimly.

"Ah but don't you want to know what happened? How you got here? Who you really are? I can give those memories back" he says evenly, "You died much too young my dear child," he adds with a sickening slyness.

She stares at him, curiosity threatens her to accept his offer. But she is wary and cautious and her mind is questioning her presence, her reality.

Why did she die? Where was she from? Did she have a family? Friends?

She shuts her eyes, trying to extract something from her mind, but her efforts prove fruitless. She cannot remember anything.

True to her intuition regarding his Machiavellian demeanour, Orochimaru somehow re-programmed her entire consciousness with one detestable jutsu. Clearly, her mind is now an impressionable blank sheet of paper, ready to be rewritten into something new.

_I don't belong in this world._

"Why? Why did you resurrect me? There are countless other medical ninjas who could have taken my place! Why me?" she cries, ashamed to have been given a second chance this way.

Another smirk of the lips and his gaze matches hers in intensity.

"Someone has to do it. Though honestly I have my reasons and I don't intend to share any of it with you. But now that you are here, you choose. Kill yourself and die without your memories or serve me well and I can give you your memories back."

She winces at the repulsive words. Her gaze cautiously watching those malicious yellow eyes as the pain in her left chest continually pulsates to the beat of her erratic mind.

Even if it makes more sense to end her life now, her heart has too much pride. Memories whether good or bad embody the soul to form a connection with those in the mortal world.

She simply cannot depart without them.

x

"Orochimaru-sensei do you really think it is a wise idea to bring her back?" she asks in perplexity.

"Anko do you not trust my intentions?" he answers cynically, facing a child no older than Rin.

"S-sorry," she stutters, "It's a good thing she doesn't remember anything or else that would be problematic," she finishes quickly.

A callous grin brushes her sensei's face.

"I deliberately removed her memories. The jutsu is used to resurrect the dead with their intelligence and powers intact, all in exchange for their memories. Its purpose is to serve the wielder that is all," he replies disinterestedly.

"So she is technically alive again but with no memories?" Anko asks, her eyes widening in bewilderment.

"Precisely."

"There are no risks to this jutsu then! Orochimaru-sensei you are a genius. No one could go up against you-"

"No," he interrupts coldly, "This jutsu has flaws. The first being that Rin was the only one I was able to successfully resurrect. It seems like it worked on her because she has a special type of chakra. I was unsuccessful with reviving the previous Hokages as they were too powerful. Secondly, there is a risk that her memories will return."

"But you said you removed her memories!" she exclaims exasperatedly.

"Removed as in repressed. She shouldn't be able to access that part of her mind, the part where I've stored her memories," he says indifferently.

"What happens if her memories return?" Anko asks eagerly.

"She dies," he replies nonchalantly.

"Die?"

"The resurrection jutsu requires the person who comes back to sacrifice their memories. If their memories return, this contract is breached."

Anko drops her shoulders, watching the flickering candles with a glazed expression.

The sudden feeling of elation rapidly diminishes. She always thought her sensei, a  _legendary sannin,_  could procure something so perfect. All she wants is for people to acknowledge how amazing  _her_  sensei is.

"Don't worry it is unlikely that something like that would happen. Besides I think I may need to start working on the Second's resurrection jutsu," Orochimaru says, surveying the disheartened expression on his student's face.

"You have another jutsu lined up, Orochimaru-sensei?" Anko asks admiringly.

His smile, deceitfully genuine, is laced with so many underlying motives he remains vigilant enough to falsify such deception.

"I have plenty, would you like to help me create a perfection?" he asks innocently.

She returns his latent offhanded smile, her expression eager, ready to serve. And it is this kind of loyalty that he knows will drive his onerous success.


	2. Alliance

_**This story takes place two weeks after Deidara and Tobi become Akatsuki partners and ends before Deidara's battle against Uchiha Sasuke** _

* * *

_Present Day_

Deidara's patience is wearing thin. His new partner, Tobi has been a ceaseless annoyance since day one of their partnering two weeks ago. Today is no different.

"Sempai?"

Deidara grunts to show he is listening.

"Where are we going?"

An expression of frustration and displeasure contorts his face. Clearly his partner's stupidity is anything but pleasant.

Tobi's predecessor, Sasori may have incessantly fired him up with his ludicrous expositions of what real art is, but truthfully Deidara welcomed these intellectual arguments, something Tobi severely lacks.

"Tobi, that's the third time you asked me that."

"But sempai I want to know so I can help prepare for whatever misfortunate situation we may come across," he whines pathetically, waving his hands frantically about him.

Deidara twitches at the nonsensical comment.

"The only misfortunate situation is having you in it," he retorts testily, resisting the urge to punch the ignorance out of him. "We are finding more information on the three tails and that will be the last time I will tell you, hm."

"Oh that's right-"

A shower of kunais followed by loud explosions drowns the rest of Tobi's words.

They evade the attack, landing on the closest tree and surveying as five ninjas materialise.

"Sempai! Sempai! Behind you!" Tobi yells.

A two second glimpse of a sandy haired man is all he gets. Then his vision is obscured by swift deadly shurikens tunneling its way through, their form inconspicuously hidden amongst flying sand.

He quickly counters, moulding clay and throwing them towards the spinning weapons.

"Katsu!" he says.

He watches with gloating satisfaction as they disintegrate in the explosion.

Then, he allows the spiders to guilelessly scatter, landing on the attackers' shoulders before exploding at his will.

They all drop to the ground, bleeding profusely from different angles before convulsing rigidly.

"Feel the power of my art, hm!" he shouts haughtily.

But an approaching 'whooshing' noise suddenly transpires and he jumps away at the last minute, inches from decapitation but not quick enough to cop a small blow from the attack. It slashes the side of his neck, leaving a large gash to spew blood that is dripping profusely from his throat.

"Shit! Wind that cuts," he mutters incoherently.

Frantically he attempts to counterattack but he is intercepted by a sudden slicing sound. For a split second he thought he was hit, but when he turns, the attacker is lying comatose on the ground.

A woman is standing before her victim, staring down at him for several seconds before averting her gaze to Deidara.

"Sand ninajs," he utters.

Shitty karma must have gotten back at him for abducting their precious Kazekage.

He looks to the woman, his mind deciphering that she may not be an enemy, although her stare is rather intrusive.

"Who are you?" he asks rudely.

She smiles amiably, accentuating the purple strips on her cheeks - perhaps as a mark to showcase her association with some sort of clan?

"Call me Rin," she says, taking a few confident strides forward.

"Don't come any closer!" he snaps aggressively, backing away and suppressing the urge to weaken in pain.

He cannot let his guard down even if someone looks innocent, and believe him she looks damn innocent.

Rin halts her steps, hands raised in resignation.

"Who are you?" he asks guardedly.

_And where the hell is Tobi?_

And as if reading his mind, his partner calls to him.

"Sempai! Are you okay?" he asks airily.

But Tobi's scrutiny of the situation is appallingly feeble. He jumps to stand beside Deidara, only to squeal imprudently when he notices the woman.

"Sempai! Who is that? Is she an enemy?" he asks suspiciously, staring cautiously from Deidara's shoulder.

"Tobi you little shit! You've been hiding the entire time?"

"But I was scared!" he retorts defensively, still not breaking his gaze from the newcomer.

Yeah if only he can punch the face behind that annoying mask he will show him what being scared really is.

The woman, who is now watching their conversation with a slightly amused look on her face, begins to pull out a stack of what appears to be first aid devices.

"Sempai! You're hurt!" Tobi suddenly cries.

"I'm fine," he lies, and he is forcibly suppressing the dull pulsating ache.

"Let me fix that for you," Tobi says anxiously.

Deidara shifts away in defence.

"Maybe you should just let him fix you up," the woman named Rin says.

"Tche! That little shit ain't touching me, hm," he scoffs.

Completely dismissing the current subject, the woman steps forward, her hands tentatively outstretched to indicate that she is still anything but untrustworthy.

"Look I'm not an enemy I'm here on order from your leader," she says, surveying the two men with progressive interest.

Uncertainly he turns to face Tobi, trying to extract some sort of reassurance to this blunt statement, but stupidly the idiot is still sulking at his earlier comment.

"Wait a minute, you're the medical ninja the leader was talking about," and he suddenly recalls the meeting from several nights ago.

_"Deidara. Tobi. Someone will be joining your team in the next few days. She is a medical ninja who appears to have all the low downs on Orochimaru. Also, her medical knowledge is rather impressive. Make good use of her whilst she is around. Kill her if she shows any signs of betrayal," the leader said._

_"Wait a minute! How do you even know to trust her in the first place?_ "  _Deidara asked._

 _"You are in no position to question who I recruit into the Akatsuki,_ "  _the leader replied coldly._

 _"Huh? She_ ' _s part of us now?_ "  _Kisame asked interestedly._

 _"No, she_ ' _s not. She will only be of use to ensure that we all survive our ordeals, particularly on your team, Deidara,_ "  _the leader said sharply._

 _"Sempai, maybe you just need to amp up your survival rate,_ "  _Tobi chuckled._

 _"Dammit Tobi, I_ ' _ll kill you!_ "  _he yelled._

 _"Tobi, stop making your sempai angry, it_ ' _s important to work together and accomplish the task at hand,_ "  _the leader said._

 _"Oh, sorry, sorry. Won_ ' _t happen again."_  

 _"Anyway, this medical ninja somehow got her hands on Orochimaru_ ' _s ring. Ask her for it to verify her legitimacy,_ " the leader continued.

" _This is troublesome enough why can_ ' _t she be put onto another team, like with Hidan and Kakuzu or something?" Deidara said._

" _Oi, oi, don_ ' _t chuck your girl problems onto us I_ ' _ve had enough of that,_ "  _Hidan screeched, pointing a fuzzy finger in Deidara_ ' _s direction._

 _"You never had to deal with any girl problems, Hidan, so you_ ' _re not the one to talk,_ "  _Kakuzu said._

 _"Oi Kakuzu! Whose side are you on?_ "  _Hidan screamed._

 _"Deidara, I assign the teams so don_ ' _t question my authority,_ "  _the leader said,_ " _And you two_ " _, he turned towards Kakuzu and Hidan,_ " _Work on your problems outside meetings next time._ "

" _Hey, you_ ' _re not the one who_ ' _s stuck out in the cold rain right now. You_ ' _re always calling us for meetings at the wrong time, when it_ ' _s a fucking hailstorm out here and you_ ' _re probably sitting on your arse in front of a cosy fireplace or something. Of course I_ ' _m going to get worked up,_ "  _Hidan shouted._

 _"Calm down will you? You_ ' _re making this meeting last longer than it already is,_ "  _Kakuzu said stiffly._

 _"Shut the fuck up, Kakuzu, this doesn_ ' _t concern you. And I_ ' _m supposed to be your partner! Give me a fucking break-_ "

 _"That_ ' _s enough!_ "  _the leader interrupted pointedly,_ " _Deidara, Tobi, keep a watchful eye on your new companion but remain on task. I still expect a tailed beast from the two of you. Meeting adjourned._ "

She must be the troublesome medical ninja the leader was talking about. Surprisingly Deidara did not expect her fighting abilities to be so skilled.

"How can you prove-" he starts accusingly but stops when she holds out the familiar looking Akatsuki ring in her hand.

"This?"

"How'd you get your hands on that?" he asks casually, his eyes raking every inch of the infamous missing ring.

She encloses the ring in her palm and within seconds it is gone.

"That does not concern you," she answers nonchalantly, "Now, let me take a look at that wound if you're not going to let your partner do it. I'm a medic, ensuring your survival is my job."

Reluctantly he nods, completely ignoring the steady increase in Tobi's sulkiness.

"Sempai, you trust a stranger but not your own partner?" he states exasperatedly as Rin glances uncertainly in his direction.

"Just do it, hm."

Hesitantly she hovers a hand over the wound, Deidara watching intently as a palliative like chakra emits in the form of a green glow, stitching up the injury with remarkable precision.

Astounded his gaze lingers on the woman for too many long seconds, stunned at the efficient yet intricate levels of her healing.

Their leader sure knew how to pick, though he isn't sure where it went wrong with Tobi.

"Done," she says and Deidara suddenly jerks away from her touch.

He does not like strangers hovering so close, even if they are there on supposed orders from the leader.

"I could have done that," Tobi states bluntly.


	3. Thoughts

There is nothing too unusual about her teammates, except for the fact that blondie has a nasty grudge against creepy face.

Often enough, she cannot seem to catch a moment's silence without some sort of argument breaking out between the two. But it is more of a one-sided quarrel thrown offensively towards creepy face, to which the poor guy responds obliviously. Therefore she must conclude that blondie's grudge is legitimate.

If it were not for the serious nature of their mission, Rin would think she is supervising a couple of naughty kids in a playground, except for the fact that these two are fully grown adults. She  _thinks_.

Aside from the discerning fact regarding Tobi's capability to see through one eyehole, she finds his childish behaviour rather disconcerting. Though Deidara does not explicitly state this fact, she can tell from his interactions with Tobi that he is probably thinking on the same lines as she.

Sometimes Rin wonders if this is all just a façade Tobi puts on, but his demeanour is quite convincing, and so there must be a reason why the Akatsuki leader recruited him. She has not come up with an appropriate conclusion to sum up this unusual ninja, but she is certain that he is probably intellectually challenged.

Most times they are gathering information on the three-tailed beast, taking copious amounts of effort to gather Intel because the hidden villages are not cooperative.

Deidara, it seems, has very little patience regarding this uncooperativeness. The slightest hint of wrongdoing sends him into a raging fit, often aggravated when Tobi's erratic-like behaviour has fuelled some sort of fury in him beforehand.

Interestingly, Tobi seems less inclined to interact with her in any way. Although she is lucky to escape his annoying five-year-old-like behaviour, it does come across as suspicious.

Ever since their initial meeting, he has not spoken a single word to her despite her efforts in starting a friendly conversation. Even when she needs a response, he makes it obvious by responding through Deidara instead.

Gathering intel on the Akatsuki means she has to get friendly with them, but her efforts are often futile. Deidara, whose attitude is invariably hostile, is much easier to dissect when it comes to extracting intel.

But information does not come easily. The only important piece obtained was the assigning of the tailed beasts. Deidara vaguely stated that each team member was assigned a tailed beast to capture, but their uses for the organisation remains unknown.

And now she remains vigilant, keeping a thorough lookout for any vital information whilst secretly passing them on to her master in the form of encrypted codes.

Mission aside, the one thing she does not truly understand is the relationship between Deidara and Tobi. Though their constant bickering remains incontestable, it is the little things that can be easily overlooked that are pivotal when it comes to scrutinising their relationship.

It would seem that Tobi's childish behaviour and ubiquitous presence around Deidara is to ultimately gain his affections. She does not know whether Tobi has something to hide but if he does, his actions run much deeper than what he puts on before his partner.

Maybe it is her ability to sense the changes in people's chakra, or the ability to see through people's actions, but she knows to some extent that something is going on behind that  _really_  creepy mask.

Conversely, Deidara appears to be exhibiting a different kind of effect. Time and time again, he does variations in shrugging his partner off, but attached to those actions are hidden expressions of satisfaction.

These satisfactory indicators, she believes, is to benefit from Tobi's close proximity whilst gaining the opportunity to touch him every so often.

Is this why Tobi keeps doing what he does? He must be aware of it and in return  _enjoy_  being strangled!

It is an absurd thought but it is not impossible.


	4. Composure

Hawks Town is a crowded establishment that sits amidst a thickened forest of trees surrounded by large rocky cliffs. Their welcome sign has rusted with neglect and is now obscured by overgrown weeds and strange looking vines.

Within its boundaries are rundown houses intermixed with upscale markets and accommodation. The quantity of available space is so severely lacking, even the birds appear troubled with the shortage of flying room.

The town is a historical site, which may explain the unusually high number of foreigners. But this area borders their targeted destination and thus cannot be dismissed from the interrogation list.

The transient environment proves immensely difficult to discern locals from visitors. But Rin suggests a nearby restaurant run by locals, an idea that may assist in distinguishing between the two populations.

x

They sit at the corner table, Deidara's 'brilliant' tactic of the perfect spot to inconspicuously spy on those around them. But his ignorance to such tactic becomes increasingly apparent.

He takes a menu and stares attentively for an unusually long time, completely unaware that Tobi's sleepy body is languidly leaning towards him. And when the waiter arrives, he is already halfway across the gap between his seat and Deidara's.

"What's your order?" the waiter asks as Deidara inches uncomfortably in the opposite direction.

"Tobi?" Rin says uncertainly.

Impatiently she averts to Deidara for some kind of help.

"What?" he mouths.

Awkwardly she glances at the waiter, whose eyebrows are now raised inquisitively at Tobi.

When Rin lightly taps his arm, he instantly jerks up so abruptly, Rin withdraws in alarm. 

"Germs!" he squeaks stupidly.

The vexed twitches on Deidara's face is palpable. 

"I don't have time for your bullshit, now hurry up and order something," he snaps irritably.

Blatantly ignoring Rin, Tobi turns to Deidara instead.

"I'm not hungry, sempai," he says gruffly.

"You heard him," Deidara answers from behind the menu.

x

"Sempai, if we're going to sit here and listen to trash conversation then we may as well order desserts," Tobi suggests one hour later.

"Like hell you're going to eat anything," Deidara snaps, and he gives a nearby waiter a dirty look for scowling at them.

"Maybe we should go elsewhere," Rin proposes.

"Tche! Won't make a difference. If this place doesn't know anything then no other places would, hm," he replies stubbornly.

She remains quiet, refusing to argue with such nonsensical logic. Instead she turns to Tobi, pretending to ignore the fact that he is ignoring  _her_.

"Tobi, lets just order-" she starts tentatively.

"Sempai, maybe you're right, I wont end up eating anything so lets just listen in on the conversations," he interrupts.

She inclines her head, forcibly disregarding the disappointment that is welling inside.

_He didn't have to be so rude about it._

"Quit sucking up you little shit, hm," Deidara snaps.

"Sempai I wasn't-"

"Yeah right-"

"Quiet you two, listen!" Rin interjects reproachfully.

"…Yeah I heard he was there two days ago. Apparently it rose from the depths of the water and he saw all three tails!" a nearby waiter cries.

"Shh! Not too loud," the other waiter says.

"I betcha he was drunk as usual," a third waiter chides.

"Drunk? You mean the idiot who kept boasting about his three-tailed beast adventures?" the first waiter asks interestedly.

The other two nods in unison, a smirk visible on their lips.

"He's always down by that pub across the road, you know in that creepy alleyway," the second one says.

"Oh right, that place and he is always…" but the third waiter's voice trails off, completely washed by the sound of another more menacing nearby tone.

"You three have been here for a little too long. People are waiting and you have finished eating long ago, please leave," says a large beefy man who looks to be the restaurant owner.

"Yes sir, sorry we will leave right away," Rin says quickly, and she brusquely claps a hand over Deidara's mouth to prevent a wave of angry retaliations from coming out.

So they leave but not before blondie decides to plant a tiny bomb underneath the table, which she sees scuttling away into the kitchen before exploding in their newly made pot of soup.

"Deidara that was dirty!" she snaps angrily once they step outside.

"Nice one, sempai," Tobi says.

"Heh! Served the bastard right for kicking us out. We were onto something, hm." 

She glowers at them in bitter annoyance, unable to see the excitement in wreaking havoc on someone's hard working business.

_What a bunch of jerks._

x

The waiters were not lying when they spoke of the pub's creepy location or the fact that it is centrally located in the most sinister looking alleyway.

It takes them awhile to find, and despite its nearness to their previous area, they did not expect it to be so inconspicuously concealed.

"Must be this one," Rin says, staring at the shabby pub sign that reads ' _Feel Real Good_.'

"Looks and sounds like a brothel, hm," Deidara says, and he is squinting at the offensive flashing neon sign.

But surprisingly it is actually more of a bar than a brothel, much to Rin's relief. She has no intention of wanting to sift through sexually aroused people.

There is no music playing, no one visibly drinking, nor anything that represents this place as a bar. The exception is one bartender, who is standing behind the counter looking bored and vacant.

"I need a break," Deidara says loudly, and he plants himself onto a nearby stool.

Warily, she watches as he downs a drink that looks suspiciously like sake.

 _Isn_ ' _t he a bit young to drink?_

"Sempai, I don't think you're of age to drink that yet-" Tobi protests.

"Shhh! Dammit Tobi, say that any louder, hm," Deidara hisses, "Tobi, I'm only several months away from twenty so I might as well give myself an early birthday present, hm," he continues pragmatically.

"But sempai," Tobi intervenes, and he is dragging the bottle away from Deidara's grip, "You're going to get us kicked out!"

He sighs in resignation.

"So what are you going to do with that? Drink it?"

"Drink this?" Tobi answers in bewilderment.

"You're going to throw it out? What a waste let me finish it-"

Then, he makes a dash for it.

"No, sempai you can't!" Tobi cries, holding the bottle out of reach as Deidara does a funny little jump.

Then he is leaning over so close, it could look like he is giving Tobi a drunken lap dance.

The awkward position almost pays off as his finger brushes against the bottle.

Noticing the danger in this, Tobi slides off the stool and draws himself up to his impressive full height, holding the bottle up so high, Deidara has no hope of getting his hands on it.

"Oh seriously?" Deidara mutters irritably.

One quick slide across the bench and the bottle hits against Rin's arm.

Tobi is facing her and she gets the impression that he is about to say something, but he quickly turns back to Deidara and slumps beside him instead.

"I'm going to ask around for info," she says, and with that she stalks off.

x

Minus the drunk men over in the corner, she has exhausted all options. Unfortunately, no one seems to know what she is talking about, or rather refuse to provide information in a manner that will not get them into some sort of trouble.

Regretfully, she flops against a comfortable couch, weariness filling her.

Over at the bar, Deidara is still drooping against the seat, manipulating clay with incredible precision and efficiency. The level of concentration on his face is so deep, it is almost like the whole world around him has cease to exist.

But Tobi is nowhere to be seen. This strikes Rin as odd. He is always at least within eyesight of Deidara.

"Hey there," says a sudden sultry voice.

Rin startles, abruptly turning as a man with a very bushy moustache plants himself beside her.

She remains silent in the belief that if she does not speak, he will eventually bored and leave her alone. But this thought is far from true. He suddenly leans in close and places a cold hand to her cheek.

"What's a beautiful lady like you doing in this place all alone?" he whispers against her ear.

And she leans away in disgust, her eyes darts across the room for some sort of reassurance that her teammates are around. But to her discontentment they are no where to be seen.

"What's the matter?" the man asks quietly, following her uncertain gaze.

Is this how strange men usually speak to women in the real world? She would rather remain unattached for the rest of her life if that is the case.

Living in the confinements of her master's dungeons, her interactions with the outside world were minimal. She saw no one but her master and his experimental subjects. Amongst the subjects, there were no inclination to speak of anything unrelated, let alone engage in any form of intimacy.

And although it is a relief to be set free from the dungeons, there are things in the real world Rin is still struggling to comprehend. Having strange men gawk her is one of them.

"I have no intentions to engage with you. Please leave me be," she says harshly as the man raises an eyebrow in dubious irritation.

"You shouldn't speak to me like that if you know what's good for you," he says dangerously.

She glares at him, suppressing the urge to slash his stupid face with her kunai.

_No, don't be hasty. Violence will only disrupt your mission._

Besides, he is a civilian. She has no interest in abusing her powers… _yet_.

"I have no interest in you," she says coldly.

And when she attempts to stand, three men have somehow positioned themselves around her, so she is boxed in.

"Going somewhere?" the bearded man asks as she stiffens in apprehension.

Then, a ridiculous thought strikes her.

"Actually, I'm not going anywhere. I need to ask you something," she says steadily.

"What?"

All four men stare at her with progressive interest.

"Someone here saw a three tailed beast not long ago, do you know who that may be?" she asks casually as her watch remains guarded.

Silence, then the bearded man laughs.

"You're looking right at him!" he exclaims.

"Where did you see it?" she asks, trying to keep a friendly conversation.

"By the Green Lake up in the North Lands of course," he answers enthusiastically.

Rin frowns at his demeanour. Something does not feel right. It is almost like he is insinuating some sort of expectation in return for her questioning.

"And now, what do I get in exchange for answering your questions?" the bearded man asks, and his gaze lingers on her with a heavy thirst for lust.

"You never asked for anything," she answers sceptically, mindfully acknowledging the accuracy in her speculation of this man.

"Oh come on, you don't expect to get such insightful information without giving anything in return do you?" he replies sardonically,

And he is running his hand suggestively up and down her thigh.

"Please don't touch me."

She shoves his hand away, forcibly keeping her panic-stricken voice to a minimal.

The sudden fear imminently rises to the surface of her throat, but she quickly subdues the suffocating sensation.

Then without warning, the man takes her face, squeezing her cheeks together in a painful grip as his face comes intimidatingly close to hers.

"You bitch don't tell me what to do-" he starts abrasively.

"Oi, oi, what's going on here? You men sure are cowards for gaining up on a lonesome woman, hm," a familiar voice says.

Deidara and Tobi have somehow managed to stand in between the three men, pushing them out to the side so that Rin and the bearded man are in full view of them.

"None of your business what we do," the man snaps, and he quickly lets go of Rin.

"Might have to bomb these guys don't you think, Tobi?" Deidara sighs.

He pokes the little spider sculpture in his hand so it scuttles back and forth an a deceptively innocuous manner.

"Roger that, sempai!"

The four men eye the sculpture suspiciously, then back over at Rin before making up their minds that fighting in public is not the most feasible idea.

"Fine," the bearded man says.

He stands but not before tapping Rin across the cheek in a menacing manner.

"I'll deal with you later," he says threateningly.

He shoots a contemptuous glance at the two Akatsuki members before stalking off.

When they are out of sight, Deidara turns on her.

"Are you stupid? You can fucking kill them in an instant, yet you let yourself get harassed like that. What on earth is wrong with you woman?" he snaps angrily.

"Hmph, I wouldn't let things go that far. They are  _civilians_ , I don't kill people just because they are being slightly aggressive," she answers earnestly.

"Civilians? Slightly aggressive?" he retaliates incredulously, "You're insane!"

"I don't care what you think of me, I'm here to gather information, unlike the two of you," she scoffs indignantly.

"Sempai! Lets not argue here," Tobi interrupts as Deidara opens his mouth to retort.

He glares at Tobi but decides to take it as a cue to stop. Then he turns and stalks off, muttering something that sounds a lot like "women" and "on my team."

When Deidara slams the door behind him, Tobi turns and transfixes his gaze onto Rin. There is apprehension in his demeanour and for a fleeting moment, it appears as if he is going to do something, but then he tears away and disappears after Deidara. 

_Dammit!_

Her fists clenches beside her in bitter agitation, angry that sheis  faltering, failing, unable to fathom why it is so arduous to gain the trust of two stupid men.

Yet here she is, sitting in a shoddy bar after being harassed  _twice_ , first by strangers then by her very own teammates.

_I have my own goals._

She must remember why she is here.

"I cannot falter now," she utters disapprovingly.

Her master's departing words continues to resound in her mind.

_"You are to gain the trust of the Akatsuki and act as my spy. Gather information on their strengths and weaknesses and tell me what they are up to. The more information I get, the faster I am able to get rid of them. Report to me regularly. That is all."_

No, she cannot give up yet. There is no way she can present to her master empty handed. This mission, he promised he would give her memories back. Failing is not an option.

_I will not disappoint you, Orochimaru-sama._


	5. Reprisal

It is only when she hears a man scream that she figures she has taken a wrong turn.

"Please! Don't kill me! I'll do anything!"

The man comes into view and instantly she recognises him as one of the men who harassed her earlier.

She swears the exit is this way. How on earth did she end up in a dark hallway?

"Please don't," he pleads pathetically.

He makes a choked gulping noise, trembling backwards and kicking his other leg in the process. The movement startles him and he falls, his eyes never wavering from hers.

"Please…I didn't…" he makes another choked noise, no doubt trying to find an appropriate response to appease her.

Frowning she looks pass him, her eyes widening in gradual interest at the glowing light coming from the very end of the corridor.

"Just leave," she says quietly and instantly the man jerks up and scrambles out of sight.

She approaches the illumination, perusing the faint glow that is seeping out from under the cracks of the door.

Someday her curiosity is going to get back at her, but for now, in a town where there are more civilians than ninjas, she can put bets that it is safe to see behind the door.

Quietly, she places an ear against the cool wood, listening in. But nothing.

As her gaze tracks to the handle, she sees a wet substance leaking from underneath the crack. Leaning down, she scrutinises it, startled when she recognises it as blood.

 _Fresh_  blood.

_No way!_

Her hand flies to the handle and she yanks it open.

Three of the four men, including the bearded one are all lying lifeless on the ground, blood spewing from their mouths with their hearts missing.

Backing away in fright, Rin begins to process the horrifying realisation that they have died faster than their minds could register.

Their expression, heavily inundated with fear, is so flagrantly stark across their faces, she can almost feel their dying response.

"How awful," she whispers.

x

Two hours past midnight and she is still standing in the bathroom, her body drenched from top to bottom and her mind struggling to make sense of tonight's events. 

Again and again she runs through her earlier encounter with the men, wondering how she could have done things better, could have done things in a way that did not break the trust of her teammates.

_Damn._

Her master is testing her, knowing full well that her spying ability is a far cry from Kabuto's.

Does he want her out?

Possibly. He did pick her to do this dirty work. If anything, she would rather be back in her master's dungeons, vehemently developing and redeveloping medical jutsus to perfection.

Her inn room is dark,  _comforting_ , the light of a distant half moon shining effortlessly against an endless expanse of cloudless skies and in through her bedroom window.

She steps from the steaming wetness that is the bathroom, running her fingers across the cold panes of the window before unlatching it.

Momentarily dazed, she does not realise her hands have fallen languidly by her side, allowing the towel to slide from her body.

Then she is closing her eyes, feeling the gentleness of a sauntering breeze against her naked skin as it reinvigorates her insides and carries the heavy thoughts into the night.

When she next opens her eyes it is because she is sensing anomalousness.

Something is lurking about in the form of someone's chakra. Swiftly she pulls on her nightdress, watching suspiciously at her tiny inn room, corner to corner, her gaze darting back and forth between the bathroom and the window.

She does not see anything but she could have sworn she felt the presence of someone or  _something_.

Frowning she peers out the window, observing in guarded silence as a squealing mouse becomes dinner to a sinister looking cat.

 _"What a strange place. I hope it isn_ ' _t haunted,"_ her conscience says, and a tingling, numbing sensation crawls up and down her spine.

 _Don_ ' _t think of it!_

She closes the window and slides into bed, unable to shut her ridiculous mind off.

_This is stupid! I'm a ninja for goodness sake I can deal with it._

 With that thought she lets herself drift away.


	6. Unsettle

When Rin rejoins the following morning, Deidara is surprised to see the look of discontentment on her face. Perhaps she is still not over last night's incident? Whatever the issue he let the event bypass without a spoken word.

"We need to get going, hm," he says, disgruntled.

"One moment," Rin says, "I want to know something."

"What?"

She stares apprehensively before continuing.

"Those four men from last night, did you kill them?" she asks cautiously,

And she is watching him with intensive suspicion, as if trying to catch him off guard.

"What!" he states in disbelief.

"I took a wrong turn in the bar last night and found three of the four men dead. I came across the fourth one in the corridor begging for his life. He looked at me like I have killed his friends," she says cryptically.

"Hey, hey I didn't do anything! I walked out of that place and never turned back, hm!" he answers defensively.

"Then," she starts, turning warily to Tobi who is feigning sleep.

"Don't look at him he was with me all night. He came after me the minute I walked out," Deidara adds, and he elbows Tobi in the shoulder.

"What's happened?" he says stupidly.

"Then-" she begins disconcertingly.

Her sentence is cut short by the transfixed stare she is giving a group of passers-by.

"Forget it will you? We have more important things to do."

"Wait one moment," she interrupts swiftly, tearing her gaze from the group and refocusing on Deidara.

"What is it now?" he replies irritably.

"I need to replenish my medical supplies and also our water supplies," she exclaims in bemusement.

"Tche! Fine, hurry up! Tobi go fill up our water supplies. I'll just use this time to map out our next destination," he says testily.

From the lack of sleep he has been getting, there is uncertainty in his capabilities to exercise such task.

"Thanks Tobi," Rin says, and she places her bottle in front of him before disappearing.

x

She returns first, carrying a large bag and dumping the contents of what appears to be the entire hospital onto the bench.

"This place has a lot of stuff," Rin says cheerfully, and she is sorting through various items Deidara is finding hard to identify.

Minutes later Tobi arrives, sitting beside Deidara and handing him the now filled bottled of water.

And they notice it. Rin's bottle untouched and perhaps deliberately forgotten. Her cheery demeanour vanishes instantaneously, replaced by an intermixed expression of surprise and passive disappointment.

"Oi, Tobi!" Deidara says.

"Oops, sorry guess I forgot," he answers indifferently, not sounding sorry at all.

For a split second Rin looks disheartened at the sardonic comment, but she quickly substitutes it for a nonchalant look.

"You stupid idiot are you seriously trying to waste my time," Deidara snaps, and he grabs the back of Tobi's cloak in vexation.

"S-sempai!"

"Go fill it up-"

"It's okay I can do it," Rin interrupts and before Deidara can answer, she is gone.

"Tche!" he scoffs pointedly.

He always gets the funny feeling that his partner hates Rin.

"What do you have against her anyway?" he adds curiously.

Tobi does not answer, instead he is busy readjusting his cloak and stretching his neck in several different directions to ease the stiffness.

Just when Deidara is about to repeat the question in a more aggressive manner, he decides to speak.

"Nothing sempai you're just imagining things," he answers vaguely.


	7. Betrayal

Two days ago, they left Hawks Town for Fire's Edge, the nearest village to where the bearded man supposedly encountered the three-tails.

But Rin is sceptical of such intel.

Intuitively speaking, she knew he had other questionable motives. No idiot would effortlessly give out such secretive information, no matter how desperate.

Rin has all pragmatic reasons to rightfully reject those erroneous explanations, but unfortunately, Deidara does not quite agree with her presentiment and had insisted they go ahead with the information.

"Controversial information is still information, hm," he said stubbornly.

Normally, she would object to such a nonsensical way of thinking but she figured arguing against a grumpy Deidara was not the best thing.

Fire's Edge, famous for its three 'swinging' giant towers and its peculiar location amongst a secluded desert, is fifty meters away from their reach. But they are ambushed before they can assimilate the scenery.

"Dammit! Again?" Deidara groans.

And he dodges a spinning kunai as six ninjas come charging at them in every direction.

"Be careful everyone this is the Akatsuki!" one sand ninja shouts.

"This one is for the Kazekage you piece of shit!" another cries.

The underground explosive almost catches him off guard but he latches onto his sculpture at the last minute, watching as the view below distances itself further and further away from him.

"He's getting away! Peace will be ours!" a third sand ninja cries as he and his two sand comrades give chase.

"Heh! Save that for your dying wish! Rin, Tobi, take the ground. I'll go by air, hm!"

x

One leaf ninja races forward, halting in his tracks with such incredible suddenness he almost falls from the force.

"Sana, what's the matter?" his leaf comrade asks.

"Wait she's not wearing the Akatsuki attire, she might not be an enemy," the third leaf ninja says.

"We can't be sure of that. She was conversing with the Akatsuki member before," the second leaf ninja replies. "Sana, what should we do?"

The first leaf ninja, known as Sana, is still scrutinising her from a distance.

"Wait…aren't you…I thought you were…" he starts in bewilderment.

Then his hands clenches in agonising fury, watching her with increasing animosity as he seemingly recognises her familiarity.

"To think that you could betray us like this," he says bitterly, forming a shaky seal.

Backing in guarded vigilance, Rin watches as they cautiously approach, their expression lined with impending menace with not an ounce of mercy or regret in their gaze.

"Earth crusher!" Sana shouts, and he releases a powerful energy that makes the ground crack and crumble beneath her.

With incredible deftness, Rin times his chakra's movement through the earth's surface with exact precision, removing herself from the crumbling ground and narrowly evading a mass of kunais seconds later.

Then she is behind the third ninja, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and throwing him at the still spinning mass of kunais, watching as he disintegrates before his own attack.

"Takaru! Shit! Shuu be careful she is stronger than I thought," Sana cries, and he stands protectively by his last comrade.

"We need to trap her," Shuu says, pulling long sinister-like black strings from his pocket, "Speaking of which, where is the third one? I swear there was another Akatsuki member," he adds.

Shuu stares around carefully, his frantic expression simmering ever so close to the surface of his composure.

"I don't see him around. Just keep your guard up," Sana replies.

The two comrades exchange glances with each other before releasing their jutsus.

"My entrapment technique is unsurpassable," Shuu says, allowing the string to snake around him before it disappears.

Unbeknownst to him, Rin can see straight through his jutsu.

And her speed is an expedient strategy in all cases of battling. With such ability, she can evade the most treacherous of attacks.

"She's fast," Sana says in astonishment as Rin vanishes from her position.

She reappears behind Shuu with dizzying speed before landing a blow to his head. Shuu falls to the ground, unconscious.

"H-How did you see through Shuu's attacks?" Sana says waveringly.

His fists clenches angrily beside him.

"I can sense chakra. How it moves, when it is about to move, where it is. Your comrade, he attached his chakra to those strings didn't he? That is how the invisibility works. I can sense all that. You cannot hide anything from me," Rin answers discordantly.

She continues to survey Sana's perplexed expression. Feelings and emotions can give away a ninja's next move.

"Hmph, why didn't you just kill him then?" he says, glancing down at his comrade's comatose body.

"There is no need to when he cannot do anything. He is just as much of a threat to me as if he were dead," she replies offhandedly.

"Hmph, that doesn't mean I'll let you off, you traitor!" he shouts, "Earth crusher!"

_Traitor?_

"This again?" she utters.

Surprisingly she does not anticipate the blistering sound of a thousand kunais being ejected from the earth. Her evasive speed saves her but not before a kunai takes the opportunity to slash her ankle.

"How…" she mutters in agony.

The blood drips in prolific successions.

"We set this trap up long before you arrived. You may be able to sense our chakras but you cannot sense inanimate objects that have already been implanted earlier. I waited for you to step into our trap, then used the opportunity to release it on you," Sana answers triumphantly.

"By the way didn't I tell you? Those kunais are laced with an odourless poison," he continues, and his gaze averts to her now very swollen ankle.

"Shit."

She collapses to the ground, her vision blurring and her world spinning.

"Time to finish you off, traitor!" Sana shrieks from somewhere to her left.

She hears the sound of a hurling kunai, the metallic weapon slicing through the air with remarkable speed before approaching her with every ounce of ill-intent.

In one agonising move, Rin involuntarily jerks to the side, narrowly avoiding an untimely death.

Before she can register the action, the kunai explodes. The immense force sends her flying back about a hundred meters, heading towards a large jagged rock.

At this rate she will die if she hits it.

Forcibly she tries to move her body to the right but the poison in her system has locked her muscles in place.

Then she shuts her eyes and braces herself.

But instead of anticipating the rock's hard surface, she feels a strong pair of arms wrap around her from behind.

They both skid to a halt, inches away from the rock's sharp surface. When she turns, it is Tobi's orange swirly mask looking back at her.

"T-thanks," she says weakly.

It may be her gratitude or the way that she is giving him such an amicable look, but he abruptly lets go, carelessly watching as she drops to the ground in pain.

"I saved you because you can heal my sempai," he replies gratingly.

She averts her eyes. Tobi has always been an onerous character to decipher, but considering his obnoxious attitude that is reserved only for her, she is genuinely surprised by his sudden act to rescue her.

Grudgingly she sits there and begins the painful process of removing poison from her injured ankle.

"Heh! You're one sneaky bastard aren't you, hm?" Deidara says, and he is kicking Sana's lifeless body.

"Sempai! You're alive!" Tobi calls as he attempts to place a reassuring arm around Deidara.

"Dammit Tobi! Get off me!" Deidara yells.

He shoves his partner to the side before fixating his gaze on Rin from a curious distance.

"What happened to you?" Deidara asks, eyeing her swollen ankle.

"Nothing big. Just a small cut that's all," she answers airily.

"Well better get up then. We need to go, hm," and with that he turns to leave.

Despite extracting all the poison from her system, her ankle is objecting. It has now taken on an angry purplish colour, expanding to cover a large surface area as it increases in size. As much as her legs disapprove, her heart is obstinately protesting.

She makes a feeble attempt to stand, swallowing back the throbbing pain that is pulsating from all different angles.

"I can-" she starts, but suppresses a cry when the pain multiplies by a factor of ten.

Then her knees give way and she collapses back onto the cold, hard ground.

From a metre away, Tobi is still standing in the exact same spot, watching her attentively. But then he suddenly turns and trudges after Deidara.

"You two go ahead first, I'll come after once I've reduced the swelling in my ankle," she calls to the backs of her teammates.

Unexpectedly Deidara turns his head, groaning in nuisance at the probable inconvenience.

"Tobi, go help her out," he sighs.

"What?" Tobi yelps stupidly.

"I said go help her out. She can't walk in that condition. She'll only slow us down, and I am not waiting for her to come after us, hm," he replies impatiently.

"That's her problem I don't want to do it," Tobi groans.

"For someone who does nothing in battle, you ought to make yourself useful, hm," Deidara answers coldly as Tobi makes a funny noise to indicate his resignation.

"If sempai says so," he sighs exasperatedly.

On the other side, Rin is watching the engrossing conversation between her teammates, keeping her facial expression as neutral as possible.

So when Tobi approaches she can sense the apprehension in his demeanour, the disgusted look on his face and the irritability of having to deal with the situation.

"Put your left arm around me," he grumbles reluctantly.

"Thanks," she replies softly.

"I'm not doing this for you," he mutters offhandedly, and he slides his right arm around her waist.

He lifts her onto her feet easily and together they walk towards Deidara, who is already charging up ahead.


	8. Unfamiliar

It is fortunate that Fire's Edge is a small distance away. The awkward silence between all three ninjas is so brutally deafening, Rin's mentality has somewhat been ruthlessly violated.

Then there is her proximity to Tobi, a factor she cannot seem to comprehend or ever imagine. There is an internal rift happening inside, an event that is foreign, inexplicable and uncertain. A bully is aiding her gently.

Illogical as her heart is, intuition tells her to be wary, that its control will ruin the mission - her _duties_. And though she does not specifically know  _how_ , her mind is already on high alert.

As if to confirm her suspicions, her swollen ankle decides to jerk involuntarily, and so she trips over nothing and ends up leaning heavily onto Tobi.

Infuriation and embarrassment turns into a dangerous mix of emotional anger. Worst, the trip gets her so close, she catches a unique and intoxicating scent coming from him.

And it is so enticing, so captivating, she is floating somewhere in sweet nostalgia, fully dazed and infinitely  _warm_. 

She shakes her head.

_Stop this madness, Rin._

"S-Sorry, I tripped," she apologises nonchalantly.

Tobi does not answer.

His body is rigid, moving at a robotic autopilot pace, perhaps suppressing the pure discontentment of having to drag her to the village inn in order to appease his sempai.


	9. Enigma

He watches as Tobi dumps Rin onto the closest chair, as if desperate and impatient to rid himself of her proximity. The move implies disgust, perhaps a deliberate act to showcase his annoyance.

On her end, the heedless action gets her wincing and whimpering, as if she is struggling to maintain balance.

Sighing, Deidara plants himself on the nearest table, unaware that the sizing of this room does not accomodate three fully grown men and a woman.

He curses under his breath when the back of his leg hits the damn wooden segment, only to knock himself against the chair in surprise.

"Hurry up Tobi," he snaps fiercely, glaring at Rin as if the self inflicted injury and his partner's dawdling is all her fault.

"Sempai, you didn't have to wait for me," Tobi says.

"Tche, what makes you think I'm waiting for you?" he scoffs.

_What am I saying?_

He is waiting for Tobi.

The possibility of exhibiting any feelings for his partner is  _absurd_. There is no way in hell would he ever let his mind wander into such forbidden territory.

He averts to Rin, who is staring apprehensively at the swollen purple-blue pigmentation that is her ankle.

It cannot be  _her._

No, he is letting his mind overanalyse this too much. It has to be something else.

 _"What if it_ ' _s not something else, what if it_ ' _s something conspicuous and you_  ar _e trying to deny it?" his conscience states simply._

And he gets the intuitive impression that these emotions were unknowingly suppressed, resurfacing when  _something_  aggravated his subconscious.

If this thought is true, then what is this  _something_?

No, he will not question the veracity of this statement. He is confident that his mind will decimate the enigma surrounding these inscrutable feelings.

"I'm going," he says.

x

It is awkward being in the same room as Tobi,  _alone_. Once Deidara makes his exit, an uncomfortable silence instantly penetrates the air.

Rin has never been alone with him before.

Her gaze averts to the window, where a distant half moon hangs dully against the blackness of a starless sky.

Although composed, her mind is running wild, obsessively,  _intrusively_  into forbidden territory.

Then it is her logical mind that is working feverishly, unable to comprehend the sudden complexity of these nonsensical feelings or the ludicrous bodily responses to such absurdity.

_No, I can't…_

Negativity overwhelms. The anxiety of experiencing something so foreign and so uncontrollable makes her withdraw, unable to face reality and the stupidity that comes with it.

And she so desperately craves solitude, there is only a split second between her perfect self-control and the irrevocable insanity that is threatening to overtake.

"Thanks," she says quietly.

Her tone indicates dismissal, yet there is a lingering element of gratitude in her voice. She is uncertain of his ability to infer hidden emotions but he says nothing and within seconds he is gone.

x

Three hours past midnight and Deidara finally hears the sound of an opening door.

Damn that Rin. Why was he with her so late?

 _"Calm down, it_ 's  _just a guess, he could have left and gone somewhere after,"_ his conscience corrects.

No, he cannot be making excuses for his partner. Those intrusive thoughts will not hesitate to latch onto every opportunity.

Feigning sleep, he keeps his ears on high alert, straining to hear every sound, every movement for signs that may explain his partner's tardiness.

Then a shuffling sound followed by the soft illumination of light from under the cracks of the bathroom door.

For what seems like forever, the silence stretches on, until finally he hears the sound of running water, paired with the blunt sounds of a heavy object against paper thin walls.

_What on earth is he doing?_

Quietly, Deidara darts across the space. And as the bathroom comes into view, there is a sudden rapid like thumping feeling coming from his chest.

Be it fortunate or unfortunate, the door is slightly ajar, allowing the bright glow to seep from the cracks and into the darkness of the bedroom.

Inching forwards, he gives himself ample space to peer in between the gap without covering up too much of the light - just in case his shadow gives away his position.

It takes awhile for his vision to adjust but when it does, he has to do a double take of the eye to verify what he is really seeing.

It is a strangely enticing view. The first thing he sees is the bare skin of his partner's back, so smooth, so rugged, it is like staring at a surreal perfection.

Curiously, he leans forwards, desperately trying to satisfy his thirst for this enthralling situation, watching as Tobi inclines his head so the splashing water hits against his face in all different directions.

His breathing, heavy,  _exhausted_ , carries an oddly arousing sound across the quietude, further fuelled by the low exasperated groans when he runs both hands frustratingly through his partially wet dark hair.

Every now and then, he hits his forehead against the wall in apparent displeasure, his unmasked face concealed from Deidara's view because of the angle they are standing at.

Indefinitely the two men stand in their respective positions, Deidara lost in the mesmerising trance of the wet droplets that is dripping from Tobi's hair to that perfect muscular back.

For reasons he cannot fathom, the apprehensive feeling of excitement overtakes, clearly evident in the stomach wrenching sensation, the shakiness, right through to the parade of forbidden fantasies.

Swallowing back the uneasiness, he forcibly suppresses the intrusive thoughts from his mind, afraid he may relent to these forbidden desires.

His mind is already fighting to keep his gaze on that sexy…

_Shit no, dammit!_

Frantically, his mind sifts through a thousand plausible excuses to this unsettling scenario, coercing himself to accept that it is probably just the shock of witnessing such an intimate scene.

 _Yes that must be it_ … _please let it be just that_ …

"Sempai?"

As if his body is already attuned to respond in all possible emergency situations, he noiselessly shrinks into the shadow with incredible speed, already halfway between his bed and the bathroom.

Dammit why did he have to stand there for so long?

"Sempai, I know you're there," he hears Tobi say in a voice that is landing somewhere between his usual high-pitched squeak and a deep masculine tone.

He opens his mouth to say something but nothing seems to come out, so he thinks better of it and pretends nothing ever happened.


	10. Diversion

Their exploration of Fire's Edge ends abruptly. The Akatsuki leader decides to inconveniently divert them to the supposed location of the three-tails, an act that serves to fuel the discontentment in Deidara. 

 _"What the hell? We just went that way, hm!_ " _Deidara shouted during yet another inopportune meeting._

 _"Then go back the other way. The three tails is your team_ ' _s responsibility so you_ ' _ll do whatever it takes to capture it, even if you have to turn back in the opposite direction,_ " _the leader retorted dangerously._

 _"Sempai, don_ ' _t be lazy,_ " _Tobi jeered._

 _"Shut up, Tobi or I_ ' _ll seriously kill you this time, hm,_ " _he yelled. "Itachi and Kisame are closer to the three tails than we are, get them to do it!_ " _Deidara continued._

 _"Hey, we_ ' _ve already done our fair share. Gees you guys really are an indolent lot,_ " _Kisame answered irritably._

_A high-pitched laugh came sizzling through from the opposite end, further fuelled by the headache induced fuzzy sounds that was the leader's telepathic jutsu._

_"Must be the girl. Driving them crazy! Serves the two fuckers right,_ " _Hidan shrieked as Deidara winced at the abhorrent sound._

 _"Are you perhaps envious that they_ ' _ve got a girl on their team, Hidan?_ " _Kakuzu interrupted snidely._

_The ear splitting tantrum raged on for some time, until Hidan's voice cracked beneath his screeches and his body visibly shook with fury._

_"Huh? Did you say something?_ " _Kakuzu asked discordantly._

 _"I_ ' _m going to really, really fucking kill you after this,_ " _Hidan spat._

 _"Hmph_ _. High maintenance," the leader scoffed, and he turned to Deidara and Tobi,"Remain on task. You are all dismissed._ "


	11. Hostility

The palpability of stars and the materialisation of a haunting remote moon is a solid indicator to suspend their journey.

It is an unusually cold night for Spring so Deidara obstinately suggests they steer clear of the riverside, opting to stay closer to the forest instead.

This time, Rin decides to grudgingly object.

"Don't be ridiculous. Just in case one of us gets hurt we need to be near the river so that any wounds can be washed immediately. It's important we have access to water," she protests irritably.

"We've got water!" Deidara retorts with equal stubbornness.

"They're for emergencies. We can't use up our water supplies when there's  _water_! Are you stupid?" she cries angrily, folding her arms across her chest in nuisance.

The obdurate look on Deidara's face does not fade. Instead his right eye twitches several times in displeasure, as if he is trying very hard to remain compose.

In an attempt to prove his point he turns to face Tobi, who is eagerly poking a suspiciously large termite mound with a twig.

"Oi, Tobi! Tell me, is it better to freeze to death by the riverside or risk getting hurt in the forest where the chances are  _small_ ," he says in one very long breath, "and also," he turns back to Rin, "we can always fill up on water again when our supplies run out. We'll just go to the riverside and do that," he adds pragmatically, breathing heavily out of sheer frustration and stubbornness.

She lets out an exasperated groan.

"We had this conversation before we left Hawks Town. The water supplies we have are filtered and specially prepared by herbal tablets. This is so you can  _drink_  it without being subjected to contamination. I am not wasting it on washing potential injuries when there is a whole river of water nearby. You seriously don't know anything!"

Deidara glares, clenching his fists in annoyance, as if he is trying resist thwacking her across the face with it.

"Tobi, you need to vote-" he starts, but the rest of his sentence disappears under a high-pitched fearful wail.

"SEMPAI, LOOK OUT!" Tobi screeches.

A mass tidal wave of harassed looking termites scuttle from their mound in one long grotesque movement. In less than one blink, Tobi manages an audacious leap onto Deidara's back by means of escape.

"What the fu…Tobi get off me!" Deidara yells.

Sighing in displeasure, Rin flops onto a nearby rock, watching the heinous commotion before her with increasing dissatisfaction.

Deidara, who is now furiously shrugging off Tobi, is doing so in a way that looks like he is doing a strange ritual dance, much to the entertainment of his partner.

At that same moment Tobi decides to swing the stick in his hand, tracking its flight some twenty metres into the air before watching as it rapidly descends onto Rin's face.

"Ouch!" she cries.

"Whoops…" Tobi says, and Deidara takes the advantage to knock him off.

"You stupid idiot I'm going to kill you!" he shouts.

Sensing danger, Tobi sprints in the opposite direction, vanishing from sight before the explosion hits him.

x

After Rin explicitly declared that she would not do any more favours for anyone tonight, Deidara decides to make Tobi find wood for the campfire.

When he returns with a basket full of sticks and some other unidentifiable items, Deidara immediately anticipates an accident.

Tobi suddenly tumbles forward, allowing the contents of the basket to go flying in midair before landing onto the woman who is innocently minding her own business.

"Whoops," he states flippantly.

"It's okay it was just an accident," Rin mutters quietly.

Then, she swiftly stands and disappears into the night.

x

It is not like she is emotionally weak, but the incident has taken a tremendous toll on her self-esteem. And it was not an accident, but a deliberate attempt to mentally sabotage her.

She cannot comprehend the meaning behind his hostility, nor can she ever recall an event that made him hate her so bad. Either way, he despised her from the very beginning, like she is an imprudent choice made by their leader, merely an inconvenience to their team.

Unfortunately being  _her_  sensory type has its downfalls, particularly when she has the distinct ability to read people's emotions.

 _Oh! And you_ ' _re also never sorry for what you did._

"Why are you so mean?" she utters angrily, and she submerges her top into the gushing river as if drowning her emotions.

x

"Touch that one more time and I'll shove it down your throat, hm," Deidara snaps icily as Tobi attempts to poke his little sculptures with a twig.

But the sculptures mysteriously explodes and his partner disappears behind a haze of dark smoke. As the fumes dissipate, a large hole the size of an elephant materialises.

"What happened?" Rin's approaching voice says.

Deidara stands, fixating his gaze into the blackness until his eyes adjust to the minimal lighting.

"In case you are wondering, I am down here Sempai," Tobi's disembodied voice calls from somewhere below.

"Idiot," Deidara says impatiently. Then he turns to Rin, "Are you going to help?"

"No" she states bluntly.

He scowls.

"At least help me help him then."

Rin averts her gaze to the black pitch, a full minute's silence falls between them.

Her expression is glazed, yet an unfathomable brigade of emotions flicker across her eyes in the space of several seconds.

Then she stretches out her arm. A soft faint blue colour illuminates her entire hand, followed by the materialisation of very small chakra strings. They latch atop each other, gradually thickening until it looks like she is holding onto a glowing white-blue rope. 

"Tobi, hold onto this okay?" she says softly.

There is a moment's silence where Tobi is perhaps considering her help.

"Just take the damn thing," Deidara calls.

Then a tug and Rin gently manipulate the strings with incredible precision, intertwining it around Tobi's arm and lifting him easily from the pit.

"How did you do that?" Deidara asks in amazement, completely forgetting about Tobi.

"They are just chakra strings," she answers simply, "I use them to operate on internal wounds."

"Thanks Sempai, you saved-"

But a sudden shaking from below ground cuts Tobi's sentence short. 

Their instinct, so sharp, so swift, it takes them a good distance away from the threat with less than two heartbeats.

"What the hell?" Deidara says.

The rocks crack and crumble, merging with the sounds of falling sand as the pit swallows the surrounding landscape to reveal a giant black space. And without warning, the stench appears, so potent they all shuffle back to breathe untainted air.

"That's not some random hole," Deidara says, watching as Rin takes a few unsteady steps to better peruse the situation.

"No you are right," she answers anxiously, "It is a sacrificial pit."

"What the hell is it doing in the middle of this forest?" he says, joining Rin's gaze at the countless human bones piled atop one another.

When the moon's ray seeps from cunning black clouds, they all see it. Millions upon millions of termites crawling, prowling up and over the corpses in a guarded manner.

"Termites, I wonder why," Rin says blankly.

Then she is jumping into the pit, her features still pensive, entrancing, possibly in the middle of verifying something.

"Hey what are you doing?" Deidara calls "Don't be reckless, gees. Tobi don't you…huh?"

But something does not look right. When he averts to Tobi, there is apprehension cloaking his demeanour, his gaze transfixed onto Rin as if he anticipates imminent danger.

_Tche! What is wrong with everyone tonight?_

"Sempai, I think we should leave now," Tobi suddenly says, and his tone is somewhat grave,  _urgent_.

"Oi Rin! Come back here, we're leaving now," Deidara calls carelessly as Rin appears completely preoccupied with the bones. "See she's not even listening, frankly I think we're better off leaving her here-"

"I'll do it," Tobi interrupts brusquely.

Then he is striding towards the oblivious woman, Deidara watching on in heated bemusement as he takes her arm and drags her all the way back.

"Well, well, what did little miss bossy find?" Deidara asks disinterestedly as she throws him a contemptuous scowl.

"Hmph, a common denominator amongst them. They all had giant holes carved into their skulls, and judging from what I can see, their brains were taken out alive," she explains firmly.

"Hmph," he snorts, "Just my night, now we have to go scouting for another place."


	12. Warmth

Her top, still heavily drenched, is a magnifying factor to fuelling the coldness that is already enveloping her. Rin cannot shut her mind from the sacrificial pit, let alone the chilling coldness that is penetrating her skin.

Huddling closer to the fire, she attempts to catch every ounce of warmth before it dissipates into the chilling air.

For the past hour she has been trying to keep the blaze alive by feeding it. The action keeps her wide awake whilst consequently listening to Deidara's horrendous snores.

On Tobi's end, she watches his sit sleeping position. His body is inclining forwards, his head resting so naturally against his hand, he almost exemplifies a philosophical statue.

For someone who is supposed to be asleep, he is sitting abnormally still,  _stiff,_ tense even.

Adding to the anomalous situation, his head seems to be inclining slowly in her direction. Perhaps it is a glitch in her vision?

_That mask does not help with the creepy factor either._

Wonder what is going on underneath there? Could it be that he has identity issues?

_Maybe he is_ _a robot. That would be funny._

Either way, she has recently taken an interest in the atypical emotions he exhibits.

The only time she can sense another's feelings is when they are going through intensive emotional episodes or sudden fluctuations in mood - a characteristic she often sees in Tobi's chakra. 

As the night progresses, the air gets colder and her body is nowhere near ready to take on the extremities of this heinous weather.

Her top, far from dry, is assimilating the cold air into her body and chilling her to the bones.

She is too exhausted to keep the fire burning and so she nods off until a frosty breeze jolts her wide awake.

 _This is all Tobi_ ' _s fault. Stupid idiot._

x

The sudden dissipation of a glowering warmth and she instantly wakes to the crack of dawn. Her teammates are still deep in sleep, but her mind is plagued by other curious matters. She cannot seem to recall the coldness throughout the night.

In normal circumstances, her sensitivity to drops in temperature is a hindrance to her typical bodily functions, often waking her easily in freezing weather.

Undoubtedly the weather last night was below cold.

_How did I get through the night so comfortably?_

Whatever it may be, she only remembers being surrounded by a very inviting warmth.


	13. Survey

"What would you like?"

The voice breaks his tired thoughts. Deidara and Tobi have managed to wade their way across a mass of people in the next town's busy restaurant. Fortunately for Deidara, Rin has disappeared to replenish her medical supplies.

"Huh? Oh right," he shakes his thoughts and gives his order.

Only seconds later and realisation hits that the waitress is sitting opposite him and uncomfortably close to Tobi.

"And what about you?" she turns to look at Tobi, who is slowly shifting away from her several inches at a time.

"Um…"

Perhaps Deidara is being thoughtless, cruel even, but he decides to sit and watch as the event unfolds, curious as to how far Tobi will go before he explodes.

But the careless attitude does not last long.

"Sorry, I didn't get your order," she laughs seductively.

Why is this sight pissing him off?

"Um just tea will do," Tobi answers uneasily.

"Are you sure? You're not hungry?" she asks dulcetly.

Remaining completely oblivious to Tobi's apprehensiveness, she leans in to whisper something in his ear.

Then those nasty little fingers move to make suggestive patterns down the side of his back, repulsively accompanied by a sweet sickening laugh that makes the hairs on Deidara's neck stand on end.

Without warning, the boiling anger churning from the pits of his stomach somehow renders in the form of physical aggressiveness. His mind already flared as he slams his fists against the wooden table in fury.

"Shouldn't you be sending in my order? I am hungry, hm!" he says angrily.

And she laughs in defence, that same fucking irritating laugh.

"Of course," she answers sweetly, completely disregarding the infuriating look on Deidara's face.

"Thanks," Tobi mumbles in relief.

"I was just hungry and she wouldn't let it go, hm!" Deidara lies.

Either he was being too obvious or Tobi has this uncanny ability to read people, but he seems to be surveying Deidara very intently, almost like he is slowly decrypting the truth.

"Do you get this often?" Deidara asks, breaking the awkward silence.

"Eh, I don't like it," Tobi replies dismissively.

"Well she is annoying, flirting with you, hm," he says inattentively.

"You don't like her flirting with me?"

"What? I didn't mean it like that!"

He cannot suppress the now very dark shade of red creeping past his face.

Dammit! He should really watch what he says in front of Tobi. 

x

The arrival of the bill signifies a new interesting experience for Tobi, and perhaps a prologue to a whole host of alien-like emotions for Deidara.

As he stretches a hand out to collect the paper, the waitress ignores him, turning to Tobi instead.

"Here you are sweetheart," she says lovingly, a covert wickedness etched upon her lips.

_Sweetheart? Ugh._

Astonished, Deidara averts to Tobi, who is busy scrunching up the bill in his hand with too much aggression. Then he throws the crumpled paper onto the table, his level of annoyance evident in the way he is folding his arms across his chest in tense displeasure.

Deidara makes a grab for it, but for some inexplicable reason, Tobi decides at that moment to do the exact same.

A few seconds hesitation, then with lightning speed, Deidara withdraws his hand and stares out the window.

"Sempai, I'll take that," Tobi says quickly, and he smoothes out the crumpled bill before hastily covering the paper with money, "Lets go," he adds.

 _Wonder what_ ' _s written on that bill._


	14. Proximity

The town's accommodation is demarcated by an inconveniently wide river that can only be accessed by a dawdling ferry.

When they are journeying across, Deidara stands at the precipice, assimilating the calming winds, and allowing the breeze to shield the uneasy thoughts of his earlier ordeal.

But subconsciously, the foreign excitement continues to course through, a stark reminder of their accidental touch that propels a shockwave of exhilaration and apprehension into the surrounding atmosphere.

Upon docking, they do not speak, a silent agreement between them that tonight's awkwardness still lingers at the back of their minds.

x

The waitress has left a bitter taste in his mouth. Deidara has not disregarded her treacherous flirtatious like behaviour, rather, it has been mindfully placed on standby for the past hour or so.

If he had not been so defensive against the waitress, or if that awkward experience between he and Tobi had not transpired, his mind would not be so occupied.

In other words, it would have given him ample headspace to persistently nag Tobi about the contents of the waitress's note.

"So Tobi, what was written on the bill?" Deidara asks casually as they ascend the inn stairs.

The change in Tobi's manner is instantaneous. His body stiffens and he trudges on with more force than usual.

"Nothing," he mutters indignantly.

"Come on Tobi." 

"Drop it," Tobi states coldly, and with that he continues up the stairs, leaving a bewildered Deidara behind.


	15. Art

The blackness and the lack of lighting, aided by the absence of a window gives off a sinister like aura to the room. The only source of light is the hallway's illumination, seeping through from under the cracks of the door.

As his eyes adjusts to minimal lighting, the distinguishing features of the room becomes palpable - the furniture's' outline and Tobi, who is sitting on the bed facing a blank darkness that is the wall in front.

Deidara is not sure what to expect but a sudden recall of their earlier conversation sends guilt-ridden feelings through him. He blames curiosity and deniably other more inconvenient foreign like feelings he wishes to never revisit.

" _You mean jealousy?_ " his conscience interrupts.

Ignoring his subconscious, he stands there in silence, carefully observing his partner for any signs of withdrawal.

Then he cautiously approaches, mind suddenly blank,  _sluggish_ , almost like the apprehension of Tobi's proximity is blacking out his thoughts.

_What do you want from this?_

Yes, what does he want from this situation, this moment, this enigmatic person sitting beside him?

Inexplicably, part of his mind cannot fathom why Tobi's feelings are so important _._  A simple apology does not feel like it is enough.

Irrational as it may seem, it appears as if the most outlandish thing may be the key to placate Tobi's sour attitude.

However, the most outlandish thing can also lead to bitter resentment and humiliation.

Either way, the stupidity of his upcoming actions dominates his mind, unaware of the risk that is involved.

He is settled on doing this.

Sometimes there are things that cannot be questioned, no matter how illogical, so he goes for it, desperate to justify the authenticity of his suppressed desires, fully aware that this is the worst time to enact.

His egotism will get back at him one day,  _guaranteed_.

"Tobi," he says quietly as uncertainty heightens somewhere at the pit of his stomach.

Tobi does not speak.

Not good.

"I should apologise to you. For persisting with conversations that make you…er…uncomfortable," he answers apologetically,  _nervously_.

Perhaps it is the lack of ventilation in this room. But he is getting uncomfortably hot,  _sweaty_ , his face flushed enough to rival the colour of blood.

Tobi remains silent and it is so deafening, Deidara can feel his head vibrate in agonising tension. Accompanied by this affliction, he is also becoming increasingly aware of his partner's proximity, so incredibly close, he can practically feel the emanating heat, smell his intoxicating scent.

"That is quite alright," Tobi replies softly.

One electrifying shock and several seconds of rapid heartbeats later and Deidara finds himself staring stupidly at his partner.

Perhaps it was the obliteration of silence or the deep masculine voice, but something is freezing him in bewilderment.

Sucking in a nervous breath, Deidara inches closer.

Gingerly, he places a hand on his partner's shoulder and cringes in disappointment as Tobi flinches, like he is uncertain, fearful even.

Then he is pulling his partner around to face him, his eyes desperately, greedily grappling onto every molecule of light as the outline of Tobi's maskless face becomes visible in the darkness. Unfortunately, the room is too dark, so Tobi's visage remains shrouded in the depths of enigma.

Then the feelings of apprehension shuffles to the side, leaving behind an excitable, audacious like mentality.

"Tobi," he says slowly, "sit still, I want to test something."

"What do you mean-" Tobi starts, but his sentence is completed by his partner's mouth on his.

_"Yes, just the way it should be," Deidara's conscience says._

It is a glorious, satisfying feeling, equally on par with the completion of his art, the blasting impact of his masterpiece, the sounds of its explosion, the perfection of its  _entirety_.

Further fuelled by the invigoration of Tobi's unique scent and the entrancing feel of his soft lips, Deidara's urges become dangerously real, the forbidden desires threatening to burst at the seams,  _literally_.

Despite his eagerness, his partner's response sets them on different pages, or perhaps on different books _._

Tobi's body is so tense, so anxious, he is almost an exemplification of a human statue.

In response to Deidara's action, he makes a slight muffled sound to indicate his confusion, but because Deidara's pride and ego is somewhere up on the high-end scale, he refuses to let the humiliation settle in so quickly.

Instead of withdrawing, he softens the contact between them, allowing Tobi ample opportunities to remove himself from the situation.

The anticipation, the dreaded silence, the seconds that ticks on following this preemptive action almost kills him from the inside, much like the urges of wanting to blow himself up from pure mortification.

Slowly, eventually, Tobi responds, ever so timidly and submissively, shadowing Deidara's every move, a fierce concentration that he seemingly adopts in order to sync with the motion.

In response, Deidara takes the cue to lean in, deepening their contact and intensifying the dubious gratification of this intimacy. His mind, so far from reality, he does not seem to register that his body is moving on its own, assimilating the feel of his partner's magnificent body, his soft lips, his well-defined arms, his galvanising heat that reinforces these impending desires.

On Tobi's end, the intensification of their kiss somehow relaxes him, bringing his body forwards so that they are both pressing against each other, highly aware of the approaching lust that is heavily insinuated between them.

Then, in a simultaneous act, they both lean in one angle, until Deidara drops back and Tobi kind of hovers over him, their bodies pinned to each other as their desperation becomes blatant, out of control.

Deidara's mind has emptied itself of its contents, not even detached from reality, but completely blank _,_  vacant of any thoughts,  _rationality_ , because the blood that fuels these musings have settled complacently in one erogenous region.

Although drained of any thoughts, it seems his mind can still register sensations.

His lips, now in the midst of exploring his partner's, comes across a harsh region that he cannot seem to dismiss from his mind. So he revisits it over and over again, feeling Tobi shudder and hearing his enticing sighs as he presses against the raised surface.

_A scar perhaps._

Nevertheless, Tobi's response creates a convenient opportunity for a more thorough exploration.

Deidara takes the chance to slide his tongue into his partner's mouth, gently flickering,  _tasting_  the sweetness of the mysterious interior. Tobi's hesitance eventually dissipates. Their lips finally sync again, tongues touching, stroking each other's to a climatic response.

Surreal as this situation may be, the enthralling moment never lasts long.

In the midst of such heatedness, Deidara's fingers brushes past his partner's lips, an upward journey that eventually takes him to the very harsh raised surface of Tobi's right cheek. Perhaps he should have toned down his exploration, because his curiosity regretfully breaks the intimate contact, feeling his partner wince in fear as he withdraws uncertainly.

"Goodnight" Tobi mumbles heavily, and he swiftly pries Deidara's hand away from his face.

A moment's hesitation where Deidara registers the disappointment, feeling disgruntled at the unforeseeable act, unable to fathom how Tobi can maintain so much  _control_  whilst tuned into such heated intimacy.

"Yeah, goodnight," he replies breathlessly.


	16. Watching

Rin's mood may have improved overnight, but that is solely dependent on who she is interacting with. When she speaks to Deidara, her behaviour is unusually buoyant, gleeful and somewhat energised. But it all disintegrates miserably when she is forced to communicate with Tobi. Unbeknownst to her, she is not a very good liar, especially when her fatuous façade meant exclusively for Tobi is too obvious _._

It is not like Deidara stalks her behaviour, rather he is highly attentive to his surroundings. He is always noticing changes, suspiciousness, differences, his eye for detail is unsurpassable.

Despite throwing blatant furtive glances at Tobi every so often, Rin does not seem to notice that her attitude is worsening the tension between all three team members. These two idiots refusing to discuss tactics with each other means another long winded argument to force compliancy into their heads. But they are so far up their own stupidity, Deidara decides to take off.

Leaving them stranded for about five minutes would hopefully clear his headache. He is through with trying to negotiate with egocentric people.

Taking flight on his sanctuary and deliberately ignoring the angry protests coming from his teammates, he scours the sky for a direct path to the infamous forest, which is roughly five kilometres northwest of their location. So he sees it, the vast expanse of an eerie looking forest stretching hundreds and hundreds of kilometres, marred by thick fogs and heavily drenched by a skin-prickling darkness.

As much as he would like to fly his way to Cascades, the town where the three tails supposedly resides, the current windy conditions mean it is too risky to cross by air. Sucking in a deep breath, he forcibly braces his mind for the impending headache he will inevitably face on ground.

Damn, sucks to be him right now.

x

"It is called the Forest of Death for a reason," Rin says, trying to dissuade the two Akatsuki members from veering into an untimely death.

The forest, surrounded by overgrown weeds and vines, lack a paved pathway that Rin knows will inevitably compromise their safety.

Ideally this is what its inhabitant wants.

There is a soft bizarre like breeze, sinister to the touch that keeps crossing their path, carrying with it a strong stench of blood.

"I'm not too sure if I want to go in there," Rin says fearfully, backing away from the ominous darkness.

"Don't be stupid, woman. It's the closest way to get to the village, hm!" Deidara snaps brusquely.

"Why can't we just fly?" she asks uneasily.

"The wind is too strong we'll get knocked off. Don't be ridiculous, you're with two-" he pauses, glancing at Tobi, "one very powerful ninja so count yourself lucky."

"That was uncalled for, sempai," Tobi says archly.

"You're either coming or you're not. We're not waiting around all day for you to make up your mind, hm," Deidara says, ignoring Tobi's comment.

Reluctantly, she trudges after in exasperated silence, unable to comprehend the egotistic, arrogant-like logic that comes exclusively with the male gender. Or perhaps it is just Deidara.

She follows suit, cautiously aware of the sudden change in feel as they venture further in.

The unusually cold temperature, the intensification of a portentous breeze and the darkening of their surroundings is a signal for her body to automatically step closer to her teammates.

Something does not to sit well with her nagging mind. The silence is ruthlessly deafening and it is making her feel like she is being locked away in an isolation cell, deprived of all social contact.

_Why aren't those two saying anything?_

As if the forest is mocking her thoughts, she hears a strange sound coming from her left, oddly accompanied by a lingering vibration only she can feel.

Frantically she scans her surroundings with impending paranoia, unable to control her body from fearfully shuffling towards her teammates, somehow knocking into Tobi in the process.

"Oh for crying out loud you two," Deidara growls impatiently as Tobi squeaks in terror.

The silence continues thereafter and the musky scent of the forest becomes stronger, potent, until their breathing is erratic and the idea of oxygen deprivation sinks in.

Something does not feel right and it is not the plants, nor the animals or even the presence of another human being. Rather, it is something  _else_.

Terrified of her own wandering thoughts, Rin shifts closer to Tobi, completely forgetting that she is supposed to be hating his obnoxious attitude towards her.

"I'm afraid," she whispers to herself, unaware that Tobi's head is slowly inclining in her direction.

Then she is first to sense it. A sudden cold, disturbing chakra slithering towards them, its target locked onto the oblivious blonde man.

It is over before anyone can make out what happened. Rin is now on the ground, bleeding profusely from her side whilst Deidara clutches his shoulder in pain, narrowing his eyes dangerously in her direction.

"Why did you do that?" he yells angrily as a broken groan slips from his mouth.

"You'd be dead otherwise. There was no time to think," she answers weakly, feverishly attempting to stem the flow of liquid red.

Deidara does not reply and so with one cringe worthy 'crack' readjusts his shoulder so the joints realign.

"Sempai, are you okay?" Tobi asks anxiously.

"Don't worry about me she copped the bigger blow," he replies curtly, nodding in Rin's direction.

Tobi turns to face her, his gaze seemingly transfixed on the gash across her abdomen. But when she shuffles to cover it, his watch abruptly breaks.

"What the fuck was that anyway?" Deidara suddenly asks, and his watch is suddenly frantic.

"I don't know but I could sense it from several meters away. It appeared as quickly as it left," Rin replies faintly.

She can still recall the grotesque chakra, how it slithered through the atmosphere, quietly, unnoticeable, bringing a sense of chilling dread in its wake.  

"We need to get out of here, especially before it goes dark. I've heard about this place, people get lost in here forever," Rin says.

Deidara stands, his expression unreadable, his gaze unfocused, like his mind is slipping from reality.

"Thanks for the advice,' he answers sardonically.

Then he turns from her, but not before he gives her a brief genuine like smile, as if to subtly say thank you for saving his life.

"Tobi, do me a favour and help her. As much as I regret saying this, we need to listen to what she has to say and get out of here before it goes dark."

At these words, Tobi's vexation becomes palpable. The impending reluctance is already exuding from him in all directions.

In a perfect world Rin would be able to stand and hold her own without having to rely on others. In a perfect world, Deidara would be sympathetic and help her. In a perfect world, Tobi would be kind to her.

He shuffles awkwardly in her direction, his unwillingness becomes so conspicuous, the contemptuous scowl Rin has been holding back is now evident across her face.

"Just hurry up and do it. I can't stand pretty boy finding excuses to tell me off for being slow," she says pointedly as an impending look of impatience transpires across Deidara's face.

Despite explicit signs of apprehension, Tobi does not speak when he moves to help her, nor does he show signs of hurrying the process.

In usual circumstances, severe injuries involving punctured organs would inevitably force one's body to pass out or at least fall asleep.

Rin, whose mind has somehow disconnected itself from her body, has inexplicably avoided this typical circumstance.

Unfortunately, this avoidance is inevitable when Tobi's proximity is overlapping with hers. In other words, he is forcibly keeping her awake - she may never wake if she succumbs to the unconsciousness.

That being said, her body cannot seem to control itself with those inappropriate bodily responses. How does her body have the energy to give off such illogical physical reactions when clearly it has more significant things to utilise that energy for?

" _It's like an irrevocable feeling of repose and comfort,"_  her heart interrupts.

_You piece of crap, your job is to pump blood and keep me alive, not interfere with my logic!_

So in a manner that forces her mind and body to remain compose, she initiates the healing process.

Uncomfortably, she leans heavily against Tobi whilst endeavouring to walk and heal synchronously.

But the silence between them is also an additional factor of discomfort and awkwardness. In an attempt to remain friendly and to keep her body distracted, she decides to break the torturous silence.

"Tobi, thanks for helping me. I-I really appreciate it," she says tentatively.

"Unless you want to walk by yourself I suggest you keep quiet," he answers coldly, loud enough so only she can hear.

Watching him in disbelief, she still cannot fathom how an innocent statement could be shoved back at her with such brutal force.

With glum annoyance, she dismisses the rising feeling of bitter hurt, brusquely turning from him whilst mumbling 'sorry' in the process.

As expected, he does not answer but she suddenly senses the rise in his apprehensiveness, the erratic fluctuations in his emotions and the struggle for mental composure.

True to his character, the situation confirms his bizarre and mysterious like personality, something Rin believes she has no hope of ever dissecting.

x

When Deidara suggests a break, it is like a heaven on earth moment. The chances of her surviving another minute's worth of awkward walking is looking rather slim.

"Because I'm a good team player and I wouldn't want you to keep dragging so much burden around," Deidara says snidely to his partner.

Rin frowns at the rude remark. If anything, blondie looks like he is about to pass out from exhaustion.

"Put me down," she snaps grouchily as Tobi hastily dumps her beside the riverbank.

For such a harrowing dark forest, the riverbank is surprisingly pristine, fresh,  _purifying_ , almost like an untainted liquid that reinvigorates her by just appearance alone.

Twenty minutes into their resting time, Rin manages to stitch up her wound, which is now looking very raw and angry. But she does not succumb to the throbbing pain, nor the impending headache that has now inconveniently latched itself onto her.

Instead, something else catches her attention.

Her eyes scan the riverbank, locking onto Tobi, who is sitting a fair distance away on the same stretch of grass.

Body language rigid and wary, his gaze becomes increasingly transfixed on his left outstretched arm. When Rin follows his watch, her eyes interlock onto a red substance dripping from it.

Strangely, the sight angers her, the overwhelming uncomfortable feeling surfacing from somewhere deep within. Normally, she is tolerant of people looking after their own injuries, but the idea of people deliberately concealing it from her for whatever reason is infuriating. So patiently, she awaits the opportunity to ease the enraging uneasiness.

"Tobi, I need to ask you something…please?" she calls as he starts towards Deidara moments later.

He stops abruptly, slowly turning to face her as if he is deliberately taking all the time in the world.

A silence follows as he contemplates her request. Then he looks between Deidara and her before making up his mind.

When he is standing tentatively before her, she watches on as his demeanour becomes increasingly cautious,  _wary_.

"I cannot show you if you are towering over me like that," she says carefully, frowning as she beckons him to her level.

Hesitantly he complies, leaning forwards until he is close enough for her to take the upper hand.

Without giving him any time to react, she grabs his left arm and yanks him down to a kneeling position, sliding the sleeve of his cloak up at the same time to reveal a small but deep gash along his arm. The wound is fresh, no doubt acquired only hours ago.

The bizarre question here is, how did he manage to protect his cloak from damage but have the inner sleeve ruined instead?

Dismissing the oddity of such thoughts, Rin keeps a steady focus on her grip, firming it when Tobi attempts to withdraw from her grasp.

"It's not good to hide your wounds," she says lightly, "I'm always watching."


	17. Resignation

By the time they start walking, the sky has darkened considerably.

Tobi's level of hostility towards Rin has depleted, leaving only a lingering shell of apprehension and cautiousness between them.

He does not speak to her, but he does not disregard her presence when she addresses him. In fact, he would only very unwillingly speak to her if she is interacting with him directly, something that even Deidara is noticing.

"I thought you two weren't talking," Deidara interjects as Tobi answers Rin's 'Don't you find this forest creepy?' question.

Even if it was a blunt 'No' answer, it was still nevertheless a reply, a surprisingly  _polite_  reply.

"We're lost," Deidara says suddenly as he halts in his tracks.

"But how do you know?" Rin says.

"Tche!"

Deidara points to a familiar looking path before them, the same one that leads to the riverbank.

"I'm going to quickly check by air. If the wind has died down we'll just fly our way out," Deidara says, and he allows the bird sculpture to expand considerably, "You two stay here, don't go anywhere," he adds sharply.

Then he is flying high above and beyond the darkness of the forest before disappearing from sight.

It takes literally half a minute for Rin to register that she is completely alone with Tobi,  _again_. This time, in a sinister forest with seemingly no way out.

When she looks to him, his body language exhibits quite blatantly that he is probably thinking the same thing.

_Hurry back Deidara!_

Patience apparently wears thin when she is stranded in an awkward situation where time moves at a snail's pace.

Should she say something? No, she cannot say anything, he'll just throw it back in her face.

_He has been responsive when I asked him questions before._

Should she just remain silent and wait until Deidara's return? Why does she feel the need to speak?

_It is not like I'm obliged to diffuse the awkwardness between-_

The rustling of leaves cuts her thoughts, indicating Deidara's return.

But instead of anticipating a blonde man in a black and red cloak, she senses a disgustingly bizarre chakra slithering towards them.

"Tobi!" she cries frantically, and her mind suddenly registers his absence.

With one miraculous move, Rin jerks sideways, aiming her kunai at the foreign chakra and watching intently as it distorts, coming out clear to hit a nearby tree trunk on the opposite side.

PSSSSSSHHH.

The slithering chakra deflates, oozing a strange blackish colour in a long snake-like outline before vanishing seconds after.

Her breath, laden with fear and agony, dissolves in one audible sigh as danger dissipates. But her mind suddenly switches on again, alert and wary as Tobi's absence continues to linger.

"Tobi! Are you here?" she calls uncertainly, scanning the vicinity for him.

No answer.

Nervously she searches her surroundings, uncertain as to how far she should venture before the forest decides to confuse her with its identical trees and pathways.

She decides to mark the meeting spot with her kunai, keeping a wary eye on the area so she does not stray too far from its comfort.

About fifty meters from the meeting zone, something sparkly catches her eye. Its mysteriousness is so intriguing, her curiosity brings her dangerously close to the source. Like fairy dust or sprinkles, they float innocuously in mid air, drifting back and forth in a mesmerising motion, phasing her mind out from reality and forcing her hand to automatically reach for its beauty.

"What is this?" she utters blankly, knowing full well that she will be disappointed if it vanishes.

Then it moves and she is following its gentle sway. Further and further it floats, the enthralling motion captivating her as it lightly hovers amongst the darkness of the trees.

Brighter and brighter, the warmth radiating from its centre becomes an engrossing factor to her automatic body movements.

She is far from the meeting point now, venturing into the darkness of the forest with the mysterious light guiding her through. Then the warmth disappears and she tunes into reality.

Staring around she sees an enormous black hole before her, the pile of bones in the thousands visible from her standing point.

Tentatively, she shuffles closer to the pit and it is the movement that catches her attention. Millions upon millions of crawling termites, their motion a strong indicator that they are guarding this sacrificial pit.

Then she feels it. The coldness. The rotting feeling of death. The slithering sound. It is that same disgusting chakra and it is heading towards her.

Backing away in fright, she turns to make a dash for it, the poorly stitched wound on her abdomen threatening to tear at the trauma of her sprint.

But she does not submit to the pain, nor does she care if she dies from it, because if that chakra touches her, she knows it would be worse than death.

She keeps running, branches and thick vines cutting and slashing at her skin as she races towards the thinner areas of the forest.

Ahead, she is relieved to see the mark of her kunai.

Deidara has not returned and she cannot see Tobi anywhere.

Frightened, trembling and breathless, she slides against the tree, hoping against hope the chakra does not find her.

But something else suddenly catches her concentration, and this time she is prepared.

It is not the same looking fairy dust but a soft golden light. Like a floating orb, it circles her, enticing her to come closer and closer to its warm, radiating energy.

No, she will not be fooled this time.

She takes out her kunai, slowly shuffling towards the circling orb, the point inches away from piercing its middle.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," says a voice.

Horrified and startled, she jolts back in fright, letting out a hysterical screech and withdrawing from the now vanishing orb.

"Tobi!" she cries anxiously, "Where were you?"

"It doesn't concern you where I go," he sneers, folding his arms across his chest in nuisance.

"Yes it does! Deidara told us not to leave this spot," she snaps abrasively.

"You're one to talk," he answers mockingly and she has this massive urge to throttle him.

What a jerk! The more she converses with this idiot, the more she starts to dislike him.

"That's not the point! It's best if we stay together in case we get lost," she retorts heatedly.

"What makes you think I want to stay with you, let alone risk getting lost with  _you_?" he jeers sardonically.

"Why you…" she starts angrily, feeling the heated flow of blood rushing to her cheeks.

"Why are you getting so riled up for?"

"You could have at least helped me fight that thing off before," she says shakily.

Since when did she start losing her composure so easily?

"Why should I put myself in danger? Besides, you were able to fight it off anyway," he answers carelessly.

She holds back, forcibly swallowing the teeming rage that is threatening to overflow.

Right now she does not care if Deidara comes charging back. Her mind is so thoroughly marred by fury and humiliation, she is uncertain as to whether she will lash out if she does not turn away.

"I don't know what your problem is but I think you're a massive jerk," she says scornfully, her contemptuous scowl hovering somewhere between hurt and anger.

"I don't care what you think of me it's not my problem," Tobi answers discordantly.

"You're unbelievable! I so regret helping you. I don't know why I always feel the need to look out for you but you know what don't expect that from me anymore!"

He shrugs insouciantly, his demeanour so relaxed she is unsure if he has taken something. It seems to contradict the fluctuating levels of apprehensive emotions that is now evident through his chakra.

"I never asked for your help," he replies quickly, sounding equally annoyed.

Strangely his voice seems to crack at the last sentence, like his childish voice isn't really his actual voice.

"Why are you like this?" she cries hurtfully.

Then she suddenly senses it, the bipolarity in his chakra that is fluctuating at every ten-second interval, bouncing his mood between despondency and elation.

She watches him closely through tear filled eyes, unable to form some sort of logical connection between his strange flippant behaviour and the 'chakra emotions' he is exhibiting.

_Are you afraid, Tobi or do you simply have something to hide?_

Resentful as her feelings may be towards him, she finds his bizarre hostility intriguing, almost like she is playing a game without any rules.

In the month that she has been with this team, not once did she question her teammate's mysteriousness, mostly because of her preoccupation with remaining on task. Not to mention, Tobi's unfriendliness seems to have deterred her from dissecting him any more than just wondering what is behind that mask.

True, he has zero issues with Deidara and true she has yet to figure out why he hates her so much, but for the most part her relentless efforts at trying to remain friendly seems to have self-destructed.

What is puzzling is her immense urge to give up on him, but because she has witnessed the soft flow of his chakra when she attended to his earlier injury, it seems she may be having second thoughts.

She speculates that his hostility is a deliberate act to conceal something, inexplicably because his earlier relaxed demeanour by the riverbank seemed too  _natural_.

And as much as she is hated by this person, she still has a duty to fulfil. As much as she tries to detach her emotions away from this person, her love for people triumphs.

Perhaps this is the final test. If she can take this hostile behaviour from Tobi, she can take on anything. But Tobi, for some unfathomable reason, is more than just a person exhibiting hostility towards her. His presence consistently evokes an alien-like internal strife within her, much like she is seeking something from him but is unsure as to what it is.

When he does not speak, Rin gingerly shuffles towards him, wiping her eyes and coercing her mind and body to remain focused. She still has a duty.

"What do you have against me anyway?" she breathes anxiously, feeling the impending awkward silence that is about to stretch far and wide between them.

"I don't have to have a reason," he eventually says, and his gaze is transfixed on her.

"So you hate me," she states bluntly.

He does not answer, but his apprehensiveness becomes more palpable.

Several uneasy steps later and she is halting just inches away from him, the surrealism of being so close indubitably hurting her subconscious.

Previous close encounters with Tobi was dealing with his reluctance to help her walk, however this time, the feeling of standing face to face with him is different. It is so much more personal,  _confronting_.

"You may not like me, but if you get to know me better, I'm sure we can work cooperatively," she says softly.

"I'd rather not," he answers coldly.

"Then why are you still standing here?" she replies, frowning.

He watches her in screeching silence, almost like the surrounding sounds of rustling leaves and chirping insects have confusingly intermeshed into her own wandering thoughts.

He does not answer, nor has his body moved an inch.

Rin lets the uncomfortable silence flow between them, allowing the puzzling atmosphere to aerate and the confusing tension to slowly adjust.

Uncertainty has suddenly blurred her mind and she is no longer following any logic, no longer connected to any commonsensical judgment.

Truthfully she is playing by instinct, by her own chakra, trying hard to decrypt this bizarre person.

"Your thoughts are hurting you," she whispers dolefully.

Then she steps forward, completely unaware that her hands have somehow made their way to rest on either side of his arms.

Without questioning her actions and without understanding the logic behind this, she pulls him down and brings him forward into a gentle embrace.

"Maybe once in awhile you can forget about disliking me," she says softly.

Tobi does not return her embrace, nor does he show any signs of withdrawal.

But the rigidity in his body dissipates, signifying his act of resignation.


	18. Hesitance

Five seconds later, a deafening thud comes in from behind, followed by a long exasperated groan. Averting to the source of commotion, they see a crumpled Deidara on the ground, his bird sculpture broken and twisted at odd angles.

"Deidara!" Rin cries, sprinting on her heels and completely forgetting about her moment with Tobi.

"This forest is fucking hell on earth," he growls as the scratch marks on his arms, legs and face suggests that he was in engaged in a ferocious battle.

"What happened?" she asks, fumbling in her bag for the medical kit.

"This forest…something about it…we really need to get out of here…it really puts up a good fight. Won't allow anyone to bypass it without going through it," he mutters wearily.

"It's okay just sit still, I'll fix you up," she answers reassuringly.

He flinches at her touch. The wounds on his left arm swelling heinously to the size of a large walnut, indicating the presence of venom that is sitting complacently underneath his skin.

"There are all these things that are preventing people from flying pass the forest. The fucking trees actually come to life," Deidara continues as Rin begins the process of stitching his wounds.

"You need to rest, we'll find a way to get out of here before it goes dark," she says as she does the finishing touches to his bandage.

"Yeah, yeah, but I don't even know where to start," he replies submissively.

"Sempai! I think I know the way out," Tobi says gleefully.

"You do? How?" Rin asks in amazement.

"W-Well, I was just wandering around before and noticeD that there are illusions in this forest. As long as we don't  _touch_ the precursors to those illusions, we can keep walking straight out," he continues zealously as Rin turns bright scarlet from his emphasis on the word 'touch.'

She still has not thanked him for interfering with her little sparkly encounter.

Deidara, who is gazing at Tobi in utter disbelief, decides to completely disregard the state of his injury and egotistically push on with his stubbornness.

"Impossible, you don't have a brain to conclude all this," he says as Tobi winces in annoyance.

"Sempai, you're too weak to even make a conscious decision so at least let me help out."

"Don't be stupid you little shit. I'm anything but weak right n-OW!" he retorts angrily, jerking too far forwards in equal vexation.

The sound of Deidara's long rumbling groan ripples through as his stitches tear apart, the sight oddly grotesque and the sound hideously cringe worthy.

"I'm on the verge of letting it heal like that," Rin snaps reproachfully as Deidara sends her a look of confusion.

"Don't…that's just c-cruel," he mutters painfully as she re-stitches the wounds with more force than necessary.

"We will rest for a bit then go," she says.

But just at that moment, her abdomen decides to sear with a tremendous jolt of pain. Her earlier feeble stitches, paired with the trauma of running, appear to have dissected itself in two.

"Oi, oi, are you alright?" Deidara asks as he watches her very badly subdued pained face with an interesting rise of an eyebrow.

She nods meekly.

"It's okay, I just need to re-do some of the stitches because I moved around a little bit too much, but I'm fine," she quickly reassures.

Admittedly, her body has drenched itself in the dizzying effects of fatigued, coupled with something more visible, like cold sweat and clammy white hands. There is something rattling uncomfortably inside her. She focuses her chakra on each and every cell, trying to connect with her internal physical to pinpoint the culprit of her ailment.

It is only when she reaches the gash that something strange ripples through, so fast she has no time to focus on what it really was. Running her fingers along the depths of her wound, she slowly, intricately inserts microscopic size chakra strings into her skin, feeling the impending levels of excruciating pain as she finally pins down the source of her problem.

The automatic shriek that comes from her is so startling, both Deidara and Tobi turn to stare at her with one very long intensive gaze.

"What are you doing?" Deidara asks anxiously, his gaze escalating with curiosity and concern.

"Just checking…" she answers weakly.

Then she is wrapping the chakra strings around her lower organs, feeling its attachment to the venom as the poison lets off one ferocious battle with her chakra, determined to latch onto her with all its might. But despite its impressive willpower, she is much more determined. With one torturous tug, she yanks a large thick black looking ball of something from her wound.

"Ohh…shit!" she cries painfully, and she is bending over in agony.

"What the hell is that?" she hears Deidara yell in disgust.

"Blood clotting poison," Rin answers, jerking her body up.

The little black ball, which is oozing a blood red substance, is now starting to make bizarre hissing sounds before shrivelling into a white-grey colour. The sound is strongly reminiscent of the disgusting chakra that succumbed to her kunai earlier.

"That thing when it attacked me earlier. I think there was poison on it. The poison is odourless and you cannot detect it. It enters your body and begins to absorb your blood. Once it gets to about the size of a walnut, it spits out the blood in the form of little black balls and then starts all over again. So you end up with little blood clots or blood balls in your body. You won't know it is there until it's too late," she explains. "I knew about it just then, when it got to this size. My chakra is special, I can detect minute problems in my body," she continues, answering the questioning look on Deidara's face.

"How do you know all this? I mean the poison?" he asks as his face shows all signs of admiration and bewilderment.

She smiles.

"I'm a medical ninja, I know a lot to do with the human body, including how many poisons work," she says, deliberately leaving off some of the more detailed stuff.

In actuality, she knows a little too much. This forest is inundated with dark things and her master has always managed to get his hands on all sorts of poisons, venoms and herbs from this place. Thankfully, she was not the one who had to go and harvest them.

"Well I feel pretty rested now but I guess it is going to be troublesome to get going with that wound of yours. Like you said, you cannot move too much," Deidara says.

"It's okay, it's more important that we get out of here before it goes dark. I can stop my wound from jolting around too much if I keep my chakra on it," she replies submissively.

"Don't be ridiculous, you'll just run out of chakra," he snaps.

"I-"

"Tobi, go do your job and help her out again," he interrupts.

In a surprising move and much to Rin's astonishment, Tobi obediently complies without protest.

"I'm guessing you're familiar with the procedure," he says indifferently, approaching her with too much obvious caution.

This time, it is her that is reluctant to accept his help.

"I'm sorry that you always have to be the one to do this, but I can survive on my own this time," she says carefully.

"You'll just hold us back," he answers bluntly.

"It's not like you're willing to do this anyway."

"No matter, it is the least I can do for  _him_ ," Tobi says, and he briefly glances in Deidara's direction.

Did he just semi-confess to her that he has some sort of deep-seated affection for Deidara? No, that cannot be, she is overanalysing again.

"I don't know," she says quietly, averting her gaze to the ground.

Why does this feel so wrong? Dammit why can she never hold her own? Why is she always ending up in situations where she is so reliant on her enemies?

"Rin," Tobi says and she looks to him in pure bemusement, uncertain of what she heard had really come from Tobi.

He never spoke her name before and it sounds strangely friendly, like she can sense the hesitation in his tone but the warmth behind his reluctance at the same time.

She slowly nods to accept his offer, her right arm gingerly encircling his neck as he lowers to her level. Then, she is being lifted off the ground before she can even process it.

"Huh?"

The confused word rolls off her tongue.

"It's faster if I carry you in case you walk and rip your stitches again. We'll have to wait for you to fix it," Tobi says evenly, answering the confounded look on her face.

"Oh…I…" her sentence trails off, unsure of what to say.

Then her face turns an incredible shade of scarlet, uncertain as to whether it is a result of his kindness or something  _else_.

Twenty minutes later and her nervousness is far from calm. Tobi's incredible proximity has exacerbated the situation, forcing her body to react inappropriately without consent. Worse, her body is hitting an all time high in temperature, making her sweat profusely and therefore shift incessantly in order to quell the discomfort.

As much as she endeavours to be discreet with her movements, Tobi seems to track every minute trace. He gazes down at her every so often with undeniably a suspicious look on his face. Even if she cannot see it.

 _I really hope he_ ' _s not looking at anything else._

x

As the sun sets over the horizon, the air in the forest becomes increasingly forbidding. There are no sources of natural light in this darkness and with temperatures dropping to almost zero degrees Celsius, the impending feelings of suffocation creeps in.

This forest, Rin realises, seems to emit a dark and discerning amount of spectral forces, manifesting in the form of light touches, eerie sounds and swift like movements that has nothing to do with animals or trees. In all honesty, her bravery extends to only  _living_  things or inanimate objects, mainly because she can detect their presence and fight them off if she has to.

The next time she feels a brush on her shoulder that is unlikely a result of a branch or breeze, she lets out a horrified squeak, inadvertently clutching onto the front of Tobi's cloak and not caring that he has stiffened considerably.

"I'm afraid," she whispers frantically.

She does not expect to hear a reply but then comes a soft reassuring voice.

"Don't worry, everything will be okay."

Then she looks to Tobi, nodding and giving him a faltering smile before letting go of him.

Well, he is here, Deidara is here. Everything  _will_  be okay.


	19. Comradeship

Two days after their departure from the Forest of Death, Rin has made a complete recovery, very much to the interest of her teammates.

"I'm a medical nin, I can recover quickly from a critical wound," she states simply as Deidara turns away with pretend boredom.

"Tche! Not like I'm interested in knowing how your abilities work anyways," he scoffs.

Their next destination, Cascades, is still at least two days away, so they decide to stop by the closest town in order for Rin to replenish her medical supplies.

But the town's dilapidated state means very little supplies in stock.

"This place doesn't have much," she says, scanning the empty shelves of a nearby shop.

"Just hurry and get your stuff," Deidara snaps impatiently.

Ignoring this rudeness she stalks off to the opposite end, taking whatever she deems useful, mostly as backup supplies.

"Just these please," she says to the shopkeeper, who is looking unusually thin and rather peakish for his build.

He gives her a toothy smile that comprises of half missing teeth, with the remainder stained, decayed and crooked.

"Sir, what happened to this town?" she adds uncertainly

His smile drops and his glance is wary.

"You don't know? This town was a battlefield for the Five Great Nations during the Third Shinobi World War. It has been awhile but this place never really recovered. The people here have been living in poverty ever since. My business can barely keep up," he answers despondently.

"I see…so that's how it is."

It seems the impact of war never fades, no matter how much time has passed.

"Please keep the change," she says kindly as the man mumbles a string of incoherent words of gratitude.

Once outside, Deidara suddenly speaks in a brusque yet satirical tone

"You know, that was a massive difference in change. Keep the change normally means a few pennies leftover, not a few hundred."

"He needs it more than we," Rin answers pragmatically.

"Still, you're not a damn charity you know that right?"

"Deidara?"

"What?"

"Shut it," she says shortly.

He glares at her, then rounds on Tobi instead.

"Tobi, tell me, the change she gave was overboard don't you think?"

"Why are you being so frugal all of a sudden?" Rin interrupts as Tobi steps away from the argument.

"I'm not being frugal! I just think that was a bit much to give," he retorts irritably, "Tobi! What do you think?"

"Um…well, it's her money so…" he replies hesitantly.

"Tche! Since when did you two become best friends? You're supposed to hate her, remember?"

Tobi scratches his head in confusion.

"I never said I hate her," he answers uncertainly.

Those words seem to come out a little too abrupt, because Tobi tenses and flails his arms in embarrassment. "You know what I mean," he adds hastily.

"Tche! I don't. Whatever," Deidara snaps testily, and he turns to trudge ahead.

Rin does not know what Tobi meant either but she is happy with the progress of her relationship with him. Since their escapade two days ago, Tobi's hostility has remarkably disintegrated into nothing but a spec of apprehension and uncertainty. But he is still incredibly wary, only speaking and interacting with her out of necessity. His blunt, one-worded statements have gradually turned into more of a sentence or small conversation, and frankly, Rin sees this as an improvement from his earlier disregard of her existence.

Then there is Deidara, who is not taking his teammates' newly formed comradeship very well. Though not blatantly conspicuous, it is heavily insinuated in the tiniest need to comment on Rin's actions and consequently the need to bring Tobi into disagreeing with it somehow. It is like a new, alien-like  _paranoia_  has settled in and Tobi's belligerence towards her is now in the hands of Deidara.

Regardless, she still has her duties and as long as her teammates continue to entrust her with Intel, she will keep her emotions at bay, or at least...try.


	20. Home

"Rin, you need to get out of here alive," he says weakly.

His grip tightens on her hand before he lets go.

"But-" she begins anxiously, and she attempts to take his hand again.

"Rin, go now," he interrupts forcibly, and he pushes her hand away.

"Rin, we need to go!" cries another voice from a distant.

Reluctantly she turns, her hand reaching up to hold onto another's, the darkness that surrounds her becomes less and less palpable as she feels her body ascend from the ground. Her gaze moves to linger down on a familiar looking face, so sweet, so innocent, her heart regrets the distance that is forcibly coming between them. So she lets her tears fall, her soul aching to hold him, missing the warmth of his hand, missing the smile that brings light into her world.

Then she is in pitched black darkness. A horrific piercing scream suddenly transpires and she is impaled by it, forcing her mind to wake to the quietude that is reality.

It is dark in this forest, but the moon's feeble rays have somehow made its way through, shedding light to her surroundings and allowing her to sink into the realisation that it was all just a dream.

Somewhere not far from her is the sound of Deidara's heinous snoring, the silence of the night suddenly breaks as a result and all she can hear now is Deidara and Deidara.  
Quietly, she pads past her teammate, walking and walking until her mind clears, until her body is no longer sweating from the strange dream she can barely remember.

And she sees him, sitting by the riverbank, the light of a distant moon and the accumulation of a million stars enveloping him in a haunting aura as he contemplates a smooth pebble in his hand.

Strangely, she finds the sight surrealistically faultless, the sweet perfection of his mysteriousness amidst the dead of the night, his transfixed gaze on something so small and insignificant.

"Hello Tobi," she says quietly, her approach making no difference to his statue like posture.

Slowly, he turns to acknowledge her presence before returning his gaze to the smooth pebble between his fingers.

She stares at him with heated curiosity, watching as he carelessly throws the pebble into the gentle rush of water. It hits the river, bouncing across in several skips before reaching the other side intact.

"Incredible," she whispers in amazement.

"You try," Tobi says softly, handing her another smooth pebble from out of nowhere.

"I'm not sure, I don't know how to skip rocks," she answers shamefully.

"You can learn," he replies quietly as she hesitantly takes the pebble from his hand.

Then she tries, really tries to copy his movements, remember,  _imagine_  the way he did it before, but it is harder than it looks and so it uselessly hits the water before drowning itself in the depths of the river.

"I'm so terrible," she mumbles sheepishly.

"You're not, you're learning," he says reassuringly.

Then he gives her another and he shows her how to angle the pebble properly, tells her the amount of force required, demonstrates to her again until she manages to skip it once before watching it sink away.

"That's better," he says.

She smiles and he watches her intently for several long seconds before abruptly turning his gaze to the river. He picks another pebble and throws it with much more force than necessary, but he is skilled and it skips several times before landing far, far away on the other side.

Then she notices his left sleeve sliding from under his cloak.

"Your arm, how is it fairing?" She asks quietly.

"Good," he answers without looking at her.

Then she reaches out and gently places a hand on his arm, stopping him in mid-action from another pebble skipping moment.

"I can fix this for you," she says softly, sliding the sleeve of his cloak to reveal the torn fabric at the site of his earlier injury.

He does not reply so she takes it as a cue to continue, extracting a thin silver threading needle she keeps in her medical kit. Ever so intricately, she begins the process of re-threading the fabric, her mind so focus, she does not realise Tobi's tensing has translated to the very stiff arm that is resting heavily against her.

And so they sit there without speaking, the night deafeningly silent, but sweetly unperturbed to the pureness of this situation.

Rin completes the task in minutes, gently sliding Tobi's cloak down as she smiles at the quality of her work.

"I'm not much of a sewer but I figured it should follow some basic rules as wound stitching," she says sheepishly.

Tobi watches her in silence, as if she has done something to disconcert him, but because she cannot see his face, she is unsure of her speculations. Except, his chakra is soft, gentle and warm and it is this that she is uncertain of her own abilities. She has never sense such a compassionate level of chakra coming from him before.

When his gaze continues to linger, she turns away in diffidence, forcing herself to focus on the steady flow of water ahead.

"Thank you," Tobi says eventually and he hands her another pebble, "I think it is your turn," he adds quietly.

So they sit together for an indefinite amount of time, watching each other skip rocks, smiling when Rin makes a feeble attempt to distract her teammate's concentration, completely unaware of the now distant moon that is shrouding away under the sun's approaching rays.

Just like the light at the end of a tunnel, it really feels like  _home_.


	21. Failure

It is possible that the lack of sleep is getting to her, but consistently being exposed to Deidara's pesky nagging about how they always have to stop for medical supplies is driving Rin prematurely insane.

"For the last time we're running low on non-basic supplies!" she snaps angrily.

"Tche! What is the damn difference? You need the basic supplies and you need your healing chakra-"

"Shut up Deidara for goodness sake!" she interjects furiously.

Deidara does not answer, instead he lets his body language speak, forming a defensive barrier between them as he shoots her contemptuous scowls every now and then. That marks the end of their heated argument, the termination of any conversation between them, right up until they are met with a highly disturbing situation.

It is five hours past midday and a high pitched piercing cry catches their attention, their wariness escalates as the sound reverberates louder and louder, almost to the point where they can literally see the source before them.

"I can sense someone's chakra!" Rin cries as she leads the way, completely disregarding Deidara's disgruntled protests.

"Honestly woman, you could be leading us into danger-"

"Then you stay here!" she shouts angrily before darting off towards the sound.

Illogical as her actions may be, her intuition speaks for itself at the strangest of time, aided by her chakra's special ability to detect fluctuating emotions,  _distressful_  emotions.

The source rapidly recedes into the distance, the resonation of a thundering river overwhelms and it is right at that moment she understands. Running by the riverbank, she follows the retreating sound, keeping pace with the gushing waters, endlessly chasing its movement and the fading mysterious sound that follows.

So she sees it, a tiny floating body carelessly dragged downstream by the merciless grips of Mother Nature. Without thinking, Rin jumps, fighting against the rapid current in a treacherous race against time.

"What the hell?" she hears Deidara yell from somewhere across the riverbank.

Ignoring her surroundings, she reaches the little girl, her hand struggling to grip onto a lowered tree branch as she attempts to hold the small body against her. But the current does not discriminate and its ruthless force sends an immense shockwave through that even Rin's chakra is fighting to hold steady.

_I won't…_

Somehow, the desperate need for this little girl to survive gives Rin a surge of determined willpower from somewhere within. She takes this opportunity to tighten her grip on the branch, forcibly combating against the might of the ferocious river as she slowly, torturously pushes them towards the shore.

"Please don't…" she whispers frantically, watching in horrified silence as the paled face little girl struggles to maintain her grasp on the mortal world.

Mustering all the strength she has, Rin drags them both to shore, her immediate response is to resuscitate.

"No please stay with me okay?" she whispers frantically, forcing herself to remain compose as she fruitlessly tries to revive the girl.

Over and over again she tries, and she really tries but the more she does, the more her mind forcibly enters a realm of pure denial. The fact that she was seconds too late, the fact that had she realised the situation sooner, she would have been able to save a life.

"Dammit! Dammit! No, no, no!"

And the tears keep coming and it does not stop. The droplets fall silently, guilelessly onto the pale face of untainted innocence as the futile attempts of taking the little girl back from death's grip becomes a distant reality.

Then she collapses to the ground with silent disheartened tears, the internal frustration of failure rising imminently to the top of her throat and hovering there as a stark reminder of her inadequacy to fulfil her curative duties.

Then, the overwhelming guilt drowns her thoughts. A sense of emptiness, despondency, disappointment, all intermeshed and reverberating so strongly as one, she can physically feel the suffocating pain. So she slumps there, useless,  _feeble_ , completely unaware that a reassuring hand is now resting gently on her shoulder. She allows the comfort to sit there for a long time, the dreaded silence of the forest dissipating from reality, her thoughts speaking to her, echoing words she cannot comprehend.

For now, at this point in time, she gives in to those excruciating muses, taking the physical pain of failure head on.


	22. Time

In the surrounding air of impure competence, the heavens of nightfall opens to reveal a grand celestial expanse of gleaming brilliance that is the accretion of a million stars.

But the luring magnificence of such beauty is a mockery of the despondent feelings that has etched complacently into the heart of one ninja. Rin does not take notice of such infrequent beauty. Her mind is unattended, her body a walking corpse of inadequacy. Perhaps it is just her but her teammates' initial response to today's event was anything but disconcerting.

Deidara has long moved on from the incident, mounting his impatience on a whole host of other insignificant matters and their tailed-beast mission. Whether this behaviour is reminiscent of something to complain about, Rin does not know.

"We've wasted so much time stopping here and there, arguing, debating, talking, not getting anything done when it comes to this three-tail. That fucking leader is going to kill me," he complains loudly.

"Sempai, I'm sure the leader-" Tobi starts hesitantly.

"What would you know, Tobi?" Deidara interjects exasperatedly. "You know, this three-tail is supposed to be yours to capture. I did my fair share," he adds thoughtfully.

"It's teamwork, Sempai," Tobi corrects.

"Teamwork? I already caught that one-tail and now with you on my team I'd probably be the one who has to catch that bloody three-tail as well, hm."

"But-"

"Keep it shut Tobi…clearly…"

But Rin does not hear the rest of those words. She has now tuned out of Deidara's headache inducing crap, forcing her mind to detract away from heavy thoughts that is her earlier failure. And so she becomes emotionally numb, the severed contact with reality an inevitable outcome to emit any feelings toward her surroundings.

Lost in her own vacant world, she is unaware that Deidara has long ago stopped yapping nonsensical rubbish and is contently slumping by a nearby tree, moulding tiny deceptively innocent clay animals.

"Your thoughts are hurting you," says a soft voice.

She turns abruptly, watching as Tobi makes himself comfortable beside her, his gaze transfixed on something far away in the distance.

Bizarre as it may be to hear her words reiterated back at her, she finds them rather comforting, reassuring even, like those words really understand how she is truly feeling.

"I don't know," she whispers miserably.

"Death is inevitable. Some see it too fast, others see it too slowly."

He hesitates, letting out a rough sigh before continuing.

"Time is an interesting concept, people are always racing against a never ending race, and even with that, time will always win. Some people may think they have the upper hand but because time eventually takes what they love most, whether it be a loved one or the purity of life itself, it will inevitably win. Nevertheless it is  _how_  you  _choose_  to let it win that determines its level of success. That is how I think of it, Rin."

He speaks like he is theorising a breakthrough in some sort of experiment. But he frames it well, so well that she can link his words through her empty vacant mind to the core of her empty vacant heart.

"Then what do you suggest people do if time always wins?" she asks shakily.

He is silent for several seconds, like he is contemplating her question or trying to find the best way to give her his answer.

"I don't have a universal answer to that. People shape their lives in their own ways in accordance to the amount of time they have. It is the only weapon people have against it. When it comes to the day where time takes what people cherish most, it is what they choose to believe and choose to do, that determines their victory," he says ruefully.

"Their victory? But people cannot win."

"Yes, in the sense that time will eventually take what they cherish most. That is its  _only_  victory. That is why it will always win. But people can choose at that moment, deep within themselves and their actions, to understand the reality of it. It is a choice. Remember, time will always win the game, but you can determine whether it gets the prize. So how will you shape yours?"

She does not speak. It was not a proper question, but it is something to relieve her mind of the heartache she has been feeling for so long.

"Keep that close to you," he says.

All she does is nod, making a direct connection to the familiar sensation of his comforting earlier proximity and now. She watches as he makes his way to Deidara, assimilating how someone can be so soft and graceful with their words and with their actions. His presence is so deeply and inscrutably comforting, she can no longer remember the feelings of tension and vexation that accompanied him during his times of hostility.

For a long time she stares into the empty vastness of a blackened forest, submerging herself in the warmth of Tobi's reassuring words and slowly relinquishing the heavy doubts of a desolate reality.

_Thank you._


	23. Dignity

_"_ I promise that this will be the last time," she whispers gently.

He gazes at her, his eyes swallowing those words like an unwritten contract between them.

It is dark and cold in this thickened forest, but the warmth of his proximity shines a reposing light that drowns out the shadowy eeriness of her surroundings. She places a gentle hand on his nose, absorbing the beauty of his thick white coat that gleams comparatively to the brightest star tonight. He breathes contently, as if her touch is the only comforting thing he will endure from this moment onwards. Then she moves to rest against his shoulder, his mane of soft, silky white hair an invigorating reminder of his majestic beauty.

"I'm sorry but I need you to deliver this message to him. You're the only one who can do it," she says quietly, soothingly.

He continues to watch her with a deepened gaze, as if he resents her orders but his loyalty is a preclusion to the anxious challenge ahead. But she knows he is strong, and she knows her orders are never questioned. For protecting him, for giving him the care and nurture that all else would have otherwise refused, and for his impending freedom, she knows he will do it.

Even if it means coming face to face with the torturous experimenter that is her master. The experimenter that surpasses all scrap of morality to satisfy his thirst for power and control. The experimenter that held this beautiful creature in his hands and stripped it of its powers. The experimenter who slaughters and discards the hundreds of creatures, indiscriminate of humans or animals, for his own selfish needs.

Rin could not save them all. For seventeen long years, she was never able to fathom the reasoning behind the ideologies of power and innocence. The notion of her duties to cure and protect, yet her position falls into contradiction. As life after life, innocence after innocence are ruthlessly taken from those who deserve nothing but the purity of existence, it was her who stood between the borders of life and death. But her fight against death has proven fruitless countless times. Over and over she would beg for more hours, minutes, seconds, not understanding the cruel realities of life as it heedlessly moves forward, leaving those who suffer behind in the depths of its suffocating actuality.

But it was Tobi who has recently given her a new understanding of time and reality, marking the torturous end to her convoluted naivety.

"I'll be waiting for you," she says softly.

He lets out a soft neigh to acknowledge the mission, backing away from her in reluctance before turning his magnificent body to face the imminent darkness.

And she watches the stallion go, his hooves hitting the ground with surprising softness as he gallops into the night, his body dispersing brightly into the wind as he seemingly joins the illumination of the celestial expanse.

x

"Amazing!" Tobi cries in awe.

"Don't even think about it," Deidara snaps menacingly.

Her eyes dart to the commotion, where a very defensive looking Deidara is shielding himself from a very eager looking Tobi.

Temporarily fazed by her short walk, it takes her several seconds to register what the racket is all about.

"Lets get this over with if it makes you shut up," Deidara continues, taking out a lump of clay and dumping it onto Tobi's outstretched hand.

With heated curiosity and amusement, Rin watches on as Deidara shows his partner how to properly mould clay. Five seconds later and a masterpiece lies before them, a tiny detailed bird sculpture that is ready to explode at will.

Unfortunately for Tobi, his first attempt is rather distasteful and by the time he begins his fifth try, Rin can sense the impatience and frustration in his body language.

"Sempai! You make it look so easy. What am I doing wrong?" he says exasperatedly, clasping the distorted clay so hard that it just goes back to being a lump of mush.

A long loud sigh from Deidara follows this comment.

"I'm only doing this once so watch really carefully," he says evenly, taking Tobi's hands in his.

Ever so slowly, Deidara guides his eager student to properly shape the sculpture, a slow and delicate process that is passively generating an intensive spark between the two.

Disconcertingly, the intimacy is too much for Rin to handle, because her piercing stare is so intense, she does not realise that her fingers have dug itself into the rough earth.

_Why…_

With awkward apprehension, she takes out her medical supplies and buries her face in them, something that is stupidly pointless because she can still hear her teammates' laughter ringing across the silence of the night.

Fighting back the suffocating rage to rip the two Akatsuki members apart, she tears away from the uncomfortable sight, a feeling of deep-seated resentment threatening to override her perfect composure of the situation.

What she cannot seem to fathom is the excruciatingly painful scene of this predicament and how it is cutting at the vulnerabilities of her fragile dignity. Yet the uncontrollable aspect of her agitation and the imminent indignation of her breathing is comprehending these feelings with superior ease. But no matter how hard she tries, she cannot connect the two enigmas into any logical sense. And so momentarily, she lets the alien-like feeling linger, allowing its obscure meaning to shroud away in the coveted depths of her needs.

"Rin!" Tobi calls, dashing in her direction.

He skids to a halt and lifts the bird clay to her face.

"Did you make this?" she asks softly, taking the sculpture with a half-hearted smile.

"With help of course," he answers enthusiastically.

Then he is running in the opposite direction, waving the sculpture ardently as he goes.

Immediately as it came, the smile falls from her face, unable to suppress the desperation her mind is now trying to make in order to translate these enigmatic feelings into words. But there is no need to try anymore, her mind has caught up.

_No, it can't be…_


	24. Sentiment

_I cannot…feel this way about someone like…him._

But again and again she is thrown into a pit of self-inflicted weakness, the containment and suppression of all emotional desires become a remote existence to the effectiveness of fulfilling her duties. Her feelings, though invariably confusing, has divulged itself in some form of resentful envy to the situation before her. It is like her rational mind is trying to decipher why her heart would so readily give up itself to the enemy.

But perhaps it is not her, but Tobi, his ambiguous personality becoming some sort of an inexplicable attractant. After all, is it possible to fall for someone without seeing their face?

Conflicted as she is, the thought of her master's promise is a culpable reminder of her duties.

_My memories._

But as logical as her goal is, her mind is often marred by the presence of Tobi. As she steps from his propinquity, the resentful feelings resurface, the goal becomes a priority and the self-loathing emerges. But they vanish at the instance of his proximity, and for this reason, she does not trust the subconscious intentions that she has so long battled against in order to decode its meaning.

Then there is Deidara, whose infatuation with Tobi is something that even she cannot easily understand. Their relationship, based on minimal significant words with each other when the rest drowns out between Tobi's facetious personality and Deidara's impatience, may not be pivotal to something more serious in normal circumstances. But then again, who is she to say what is normal and what is not? She has never interacted with anyone on an intimate level, let alone truly understand the connection that initiates the mystery of romance.

Her assumptions may be wrong, but Tobi is someone who has recently instilled emotional ease into her. The rare fleeting moments she gets alone with him has always allowed her to unravel the puzzling dilemma that is her desire.

Yet she still cannot fully comprehend these feelings and more importantly, what to  _do_  with them. Will it simply just sit there, stagnant, unmovable and only resurface in the form of apprehension and excitement when he is near? What is it that she is supposed to do to relieve these feelings?

Goodness gracious she is a fully grown woman, she can't be  _that_  naive! But she is and the thought of kissing him sends enormous heatwaves through her body. She has never thought about someone in this manner before and she is so unsure whether this is a normal reaction towards someone she feels a strong attachment to.

And as she sits there, she realises that these thoughts and these feelings are the real culprits at shunting aside her logical mind.

_What am I to do?_


	25. Abstract

Hours into the night and her mind finally gives way to the unconscious world. Dreams are a rarity for her. The forgiving world of abstractness, with its messy painting, myriad textures and incongruous colours, have always been a rejuvenating tranquiliser to her tired body.

But her recent dreams are far from pleasant. It comes to her in nightly successions, giving off a very real yet blurry sensation of realism. They seem exact, with recurring context and an interchanging environment. She never remembers them upon waking but the feelings are incredibly stark.

In recent nights, there is a breakthrough. Her dreams have become a little clearer, a little more frequent and a little more detailed.

Tonight is no different.

A field of bold, beautiful flowers with its mismatched colours and contrasting composition. In the soft sauntering warmth of the afternoon sun, her mind is free of all pessimistic thoughts, her body comfortably drifting across the quietude of this magnificent field.

She is young and she is running, feeling the cool gentle breeze filter through her hair, the smell of sweet flowers tingling her nose and the sensation of prickly grass gliding against the softness of her skin.

And the large rock comes into view, its mysteriousness masquerading an art of serenity as it sits ever so serenely atop the highest hill. Its fanciful aura beckons her forwards, enveloping her, speaking to her in a soft caressing voice.

"Come, come, come and touch me," it whispers gently.

And so she does, full of curiosity, full of joy, an impression of eagerness flowing through her arm and ending at the tip of her fingers as she reaches for it.

But it does not feel like perfection, instead, she feels a changing awareness to her surroundings.

The distortion of this beautiful world amplifies, the musky smell of a heavy forest and the oxygen-deprived feeling all suddenly intertwines to create the very real perception of standing in the depths of an ominous underground. Above her, the darkness slowly envelops, the view of the beautiful flower field disappears in a deformed swirl.

And she sees… _her_ , another Rin, young at the innocent age of thirteen, trapped beneath a large unmovable boulder, her entire right side crushed. The sound of her screams reverberate across the emptiness of this inescapable dungeon.

Her eyes widen with fear as she observes the ground beneath crumble, watching herself fall into a massive pitched black hole.

Then  _she_ is falling, falling, her screams echoing in the distance to mimic that of her other falling self, a sense of hopelessness and impending death seeping in.

"Rin!" cries a voice from above.

Her gaze avert upwards, a familiar looking dark haired boy, no older than thirteen watching her from above. Automatically her hand moves to reach for him, her watch intensifying as he leans down and catches hers in a tight grip.

"Don't let go," she cries fearfully.

"Never!" he smiles, and his hand slips from hers.

As she descends into nothingness, her blank gaze interlocks with his, never blinking, never wavering.

He's still smiling.


	26. Energy

"Rin...Rin!"

A gentle shake eases her from the unconscious world. Her vision, obscured by the hazy feelings of sleep becomes progressively clearer with every blink, until a blanket of black sky dotted with silver-white stars materialises.

Approximately three seconds is all she gets of the grand celestial body before a blur of orange takes its place.

"T-Tobi?" She murmurs sleepily.

"Are you okay? You were thrashing around in your sleep," he says anxiously.

Was she?

The dream, though a distant blur, has left a horrific numbing feeling behind, much like stepping out from a traumatising event.

"I'm fine. Just a bad dream," she answers vaguely, as the newly accrued sensation of cold sweat trickles from all sides of her body.

"Tobi, why aren't you asleep?" she asks inquisitively, "Or did I wake you?" she adds quickly.

"I wasn't sleeping," he replies quietly.

Something in his tone indicates wariness, yet his slow, composed movement states otherwise.

"Is something keeping you up?"

"No," he replies vacantly, not looking at her, "I don't always sleep."

She watches him suspiciously, her mind bringing her back to the night when she first observed him 'sleeping.'

_That was not sleeping._

Tobi stands to leave, keeping his watch fixed somewhere in the far distance, as if looking at her gets him agitated, nervous,  _uneasy_. But Rin struggles to account for such apprehensiveness because she has become so used to his reactions around her. Or perhaps it is not her, but of someone or something else?

Though she has no reason to delve into Tobi's mysteriousness, it is the never-ending curiosity that her mind is always seeking. The moments and opportunities that she foresees in unravelling Tobi's complexity is enough to push her into uncertainty. Or perhaps her endless search to understand the mysteries of desire is cleverly manifesting in the form of curiosity?

"Can I join you? I don't think I want to go back to sleep anytime soon," she says, forcibly covering up her eagerness.

For several seconds Tobi appears guarded and reluctant, as if she is pushing the boundaries of their newly formed 'friendship' a little too quickly. But before she can shamefully withdraw her request, he briskly interrupts.

"Yes," he says forcefully as the idea of leaving him to his solitude becomes more potent.

Rin does not speak but reluctantly follows his lead, bringing a heavy tense silence between them. The further they walk, the colder the air, until the smell of a thick musky like scent infiltrates them, bearing a strong resemblance to the atmosphere of the Forest of Death. Above, the menacing skies are dark and cloudy, plunging them into a sinister blackness where the only inference to walking in the right direction is to follow the tall figure beside her.

When they stop at the riverbank thirty minutes later, Rin's mind has tuned too far into her thoughts, unaware that she is standing on the edge of a resounding river that glistens and shines under the moon's feeble light.

Vacantly, she moves in to touch the pristine water, feeling its coolness and the heavenly sensation of unsullied nature as it glides pass her fingertips. Her eyes trace its movements, its direction, gazing with passive eager as the water rushes by and down an enchanted waterfall. The smooth movement of its fall, so gentle, so spectacular, she stares avidly for several seconds with not a word spoken.

Then her attention turns to the cliff's edge, her attempts at seeing below oddly fruitless. The waterfall is so high, its end is shrouded in the depths of the dark mystery. Marred by soft puffs of clouds, the fall of water emits a fine mist that envelopes the atmosphere in a sheath of silent beauty. If she stands ever so quietly she can hear it. The delicate rush of a lake from far, far below, echoing into the quietude and dispersing in its sound as it reaches the very top and collides with the swift rush of water. Entranced in the mesmerising scenery, she does not realise that Tobi is beside her until he decides to speak.

"It is the highest waterfall in the world," he says softly.

And Rin startles, not because of the sudden statement but of  _how_  it was verbalised. Initially, she thought there was a third person speaking, but it was Tobi, and it was the most deep and pleasantly sounding tone she has ever heard. She does not question this sudden change in vocalisation, the revelation comes as unsurprising to her considering Tobi's very existent is an enigma in itself.

"It is, is it?" she whispers, and it is more to herself than to Tobi.

The feelings of content remains and it is so vastly different to the brief happiness that engulfs her with every medical development, she allows the surrounding sounds to immerse her once more. The smell of untainted air, the feel of a tender breeze and Tobi's proximity of security.

Never in her life has she experienced the ambience of such revitalising peace.

Momentarily, she lets these rare feelings permeate, allowing space and time to disappear from existence.

x

The evening forges on, each step of their walk taking them further and further into the midst of seclusion. Rin can still hear the subtle flow of water from far below, albeit her sense of direction is now a convoluted map inside her mind. At that very moment the clouds decide to part, allowing the moon to materialise in a hauntingly bright light and casting an endless shadow to their silhouettes.

"How long is this river?" Rin asks in astonishment.

"About three kilometres," Tobi answers pleasantly.

"Where is the lake where the water ends?"

"The water eventually leads to the ocean," he replies mildly.

She gazes at the deep darkness, her mind scrambling to piece together Tobi's words.

"The ocean?" She whispers slowly.

And her eyes widen at the revelation. She turns to face Tobi, an animated mixture of apprehension and furor interlaces her smile.

"Which way?" She asks avidly, and Tobi watches her in silence for several seconds before he speaks.

"Straight ahead," he answers uncertainly, without breaking his gaze.

They fall silent, the emanating sounds of distant waves tunnelling its way through and dispersing softly in their surrounding air.

"Tobi, I have never seen the ocean before," she says lightly, "Let's go!"

And she takes his hand in a firm grip, pulling him forwards and dismissing the sudden rigidity that is now radiating through him.

x

It is a tantalising dark mass amidst a spectacular heaven that rivals the enchanting cascade of a waterfall. And Rin looks ahead, arresting her attention on the remarkably alluring sight.

The ocean, sprawled out across an infinite expanse, exudes and epitomises the beauty of obscurity. Even by nightfall, she can still assimilate the exquisiteness of this beautiful mistress. Against the illuminating moon and amongst a celestial galaxy of a billion stars, the water glows a stunningly dark blue, emanating an incredible aura of perfect cerulean by daylight. But the amount of brilliance amongst the velvet sky is something that she cannot begin to elucidate. The stars are so close, so monumental in its amount, she can even make out the diversity in their colours. And it is like she is sitting in her very own galaxy, surrounded by an endless amount of astronomical objects, submerged in the captivating elegance of glitter.

Then there is the moon itself, its flawless circularity so close to the heavens she can trace its lines, re-paint its contours, memorise differing shades of white, grey and cream. Then the auras emerge, its multitude of green, yellow and blue colours casting an evocative complexion across the atmosphere that contrasts perfectly with the dark sky. In all her life, she has never seen anything so incredibly breathtaking.

Gingerly she takes several steps forward, unaware that her body is trembling from the exquisite sight before her.

Facing the very edge of the cliff, she allows the sound of howling winds and crashing waters to flow through her body. Bewildered, she stares at the rhythmic movement of waves below, the size so vast, so incredible, the rocky shores appear to tremble with every forceful hit. And she lets the potent scent of salt to settle, the perfection that is nature to embed itself into her untainted experience.

Beyond the shores, an immeasurable mountain-like rock drifts sombrely against strong currents, its distance an unfathomable number from her position.

"What is that?" Rin whispers, as she gazes intensely at the anomalous rock.

"Black Sand Island," Tobi answers ruefully.

"Black Sand?"

"The sand there is black. It is uncivilised due to volcanic disruptions that occur underwater. You cannot go there, the currents are extremely strong," he says candidly.

Her gaze continues to linger on the drifting island, unaware that reality is slowly slipping from her conscious state. And the cold, eerie like sensation transpires, coursing through her and spreading malignantly to every point of her body. It blackens her vision, distorts her surroundings and forces her to stare at the strange looking island. And she feels it, a dark, sinister, entrancing energy beckoning her forwards, grasping her very soul in a merciless grip and drawing her towards an unseen force.

Then the energy breaks and she blinks in confusion, unaware that Tobi has his hand on her shoulder. She gazes down, the crumbling rocks a solid indicator that she is standing dangerously close to the cliff's edge.

"What are you doing?" Tobi asks sternly as his grip on her shoulder tightens.

She turns abruptly, startled at her unconscious actions.

"I don't know, I wasn't aware…" she trails off anxiously.

Tobi watches her for several seconds, as if he is trying to read her mind. But then he slowly glances at the island, watching it in intense silence before withdrawing his gaze to face Rin.

"It is dangerous close to the edge, you should stand back here where it is safer," he says tensely.

She nods, backing a fair distance from the edge to stand beside Tobi. Her gaze inquisitively averts to the island. From here, it is oddly appealing, like she would never sense deception coming from such beauty.

"What are they?" she asks blankly, pointing at the miniature white specks surrounding the island.

"Icebergs," Tobi replies. "The water surrounding the island is ice cold, but the island itself has a constant temperature of about thirty-one degrees Celsius," he continues at the bewildered look on Rin's face.

"How do you know all this?" she asks skeptically, watching him in fascination.

"I've been there," he answers indifferently.

She does not question the contradictory nature of his answer to his previous explanation of the island's dangerous environment. There is more to Tobi than she could ever hope to decrypt. His mysteriousness consistently baffles her with every new information she acquires from him. But as much as she desires to unravel the puzzling demeanour of his words and of his actions, she fears she may discover something that not even his comforting proximity can override.

She lets the unease settle. His current contentment and his security is enough to drive those fears to the back of her mind, permitting a new level of gratification to course through her.

"Tobi, will you follow me to the waves?" She asks softly.

Her eyes linger on the gradual movement of water below, watching as it rolls effortlessly onto smooth sand before recoiling serenely into the dark mass of ocean.

"Shall we?" He answers quietly.

And he turns for the shore, an indicator that she too should follow suit.


	27. Seashells

Nightfall lingers on as the glorious heavens show no signs of retreating. Rin has lost track of time, location and space. Her compass has embedded itself into the person walking silently beside her. But it is Tobi's non-existent state of mind that catches her attention. His chakra has stabilised, inhibiting her ability to detect his emotions. Or perhaps he is deliberately suppressing them from her? She glances warily in his direction, her gaze transfixed on his relaxed body language. Whatever the cause, she can no longer sense the fluctuating anomalousness within him.

They walk in content silence, the steep decline from the cliff's edge a factor that has forced concentration into their minds. The descent leads them to the very edge of a small precipice, where a steep and narrow rocky trail paves the way to the shores. Tobi halts at the edge, gazing down at the windy, deceptively innocent pathway. Rin stands beside him for several seconds before tentatively stepping onto the rugged surface.

"You can't be scared?" She teases from a few steps below.

Tobi gazes down at her, as if her sudden words tore through his deep thoughts. He hesitates before letting out a short laugh that sends an electrifying sensation through her.

_What a heart-warming sound._

And he is behind her, awaiting her next steps.

They continue to descend, the rocky landscape becoming steadily steeper and steeper before levelling off somewhere near the ground. Rin is careful, her mind completely focused on the dangerous and jagged trail in front. Though the sky is lit with the illumination of moon and stars, it does not preclude her mind from carelessly stepping on unlevelled ground. She cannot see how Tobi is fairing from behind, but judging from the sounds of his even footsteps, it does not appear he is struggling.

Ahead, the shores beckon, the sounds entice and the soft sand seduces. The thrill of being so close to the ocean has become a presentiment to her current situation.

Momentarily lost in the closeness of the alluring seashore, she steps on a fragile surface and stumbles against the crumbling rocks. And she slips, scraping the edge of her arm against the sharp surface of the cliffside to counterbalance before the might of gravity draws her in a downward spiral. She lets out a petrified screech before Tobi takes hold of her arm from somewhere behind. He holds her steady before pulling her to safety with remarkable ease.

"Are you okay?" He asks quietly.

"Yes, thank you, that was hasty of me," she breathes self-consciously.

"One step until even ground," he says, nodding at the smooth path before her.

And the brief incident becomes a sudden distant memory. Her steps are tentative at first, unsure of her reactions to the soft sand pouring through her sandals and resting complacently under her feet. Then she lets out a short, broken laugh because that is all she can do when her entirety merges with the stunning beauty of this idyllic haven. Bending down, she unclasps the sandals from her feet, allowing the full extent of the sand's velvety form to envelope her.

And the sound of waves, gentle, faint, dulcetly subdued, is a heavy contrast to the crashing form it takes against the cliff. Gradually, she inches closer to where water and sand merge, submerging her feet into the cool placidness that is the sea. And she smiles, her gaze focusing on the heavens above her, before her and around her, all united with the sounds of a deep rumbling ocean and the music of birds from a distant away.

Then she is running, embracing the winds as it pushes against her, immersing her feet in sand and water as it encapsulates, embodying the freedom of reality for the very first time in her life. And she turns to face Tobi, who is watching her intently from a fair distant away, unmoving like the statue he always is when she is blatantly enjoying her surroundings.

But her attention turns elsewhere, to a white glint half buried in the soft sands, illuminating under the brilliant sky. Bending down to better examine, her hand lightly grazes over the object's surface before picking it up. It is cool and fragile and its fan shape is sharp when pressed against her skin. Fascinated, she encircles the beautiful item in her palm before she approaches Tobi.

"Look at this," she says brightly, and she opens up her palm to show him her discovery.

Tobi inclines to the object in her hand, its contrasting colours glimmer at different angles.

"Seashell," he says softly.

"I've never seen anything so beautiful," she breathes in bewilderment.

Tobi gazes at her in unperturbed silence before turning his watch to the shore in front of them. And then she sees it. Thousands of seashells of different shape, colour and size glistening serenely against the silken flow of sand. She kneels, her knees digging complacently into the ground as she picks up a coned-shape shell for her peruse. It is small and smooth, the soft swirls of its contours lend a lustrous look to its uniqueness. Temporarily dazed at the vast amounts of picturesqueness before her, she does not realise that Tobi has knelt down beside her, watching the tantalising experiences of her reaction to this moment.

"Rin," she hears him say.

Her gaze breaks as she turns to face him.

"Hm?"

"Your arm," he says quietly as his gaze transfixes on her right forearm. She looks to his watch, a small but deep gash embedded on her skin as a result of her earlier fall. It does not hurt, nor can she feel its presence, but it has left a trickle of blood trailing from the wound. She lets out a short laugh, the significance of such matter a pale comparison to her current situation. But she cannot dismiss the anxiety in Tobi's voice, so she takes out her medical kit.

He places a hand on her arm, stopping her in mid-action of unravelling the bandages.

"I can fix this for you," he says mildly.

She does not speak, temporarily dazed by the deja vu moment of this situation. He takes her silence as a cue to continue. And he is gentle yet efficient, his first aid skills an impressive sight to witness. She gives him a small smile at his completion, turning her gaze to stare at the distant shores from behind him.

"Thank you," she says eventually.

So they sit there in content silence, watching the waves, feeling the breeze and absorbing the fleeting moments of peace as the world sleeps on.

"I want to remember this," Rin says delicately as her hands bury themselves into the liquid smooth sand.

"Like a keepsake?" Tobi asks quietly.

And she turns to face him, beaming as his question illuminates an idea into her mind. She takes out a small jar from her pocket, an item she uses to collect interesting medical properties. But this time, tonight, it will be for something different.

Rin unscrews the cork and places the jar on the sand, feeling Tobi's watch on her actions intensify with every passing second. And for the umpteenth time, she runs her hand through the velvety sand, feeling it fall to the side with effortless ease as she scoops a small amount into her jar. Then Tobi, who appears to catch on, points to a small patch of sand that glistens a different colour to the one in her jar.

"Take your pick," Tobi says softly, and Rin follows his watch to the many different coloured patches of sand that is scattered across the shore. Elated, she scoops a small amount of the whiter sand and adds it to her jar, and does the same thing with another shade of white, and again with a darker patch, and again, and again, until she is certain she has gotten all the different colours of sand in the space around her.

"Nine different colours," she says ruefully as her eyes scan the contrasting layers of sand in her jar.

Carefully, she places the two seashells she found earlier to her collection before scanning the mass of seashells for more interesting ones. She sifts through varying sizes, deciding on different colours and shapes, but many are broken or the size, shape or colour did not meet her expectations. And then Tobi hands her several different seashells, each with unique varying shapes and colours she could not seem to find amongst the other more ubiquitous ones.

"How did you find these?" She asks in amazement.

"Magic," he answers, and she can sense his smile from underneath the mask.

So they sit there moments later with the vast collection of different seashells, perusing which will make the cut for Rin's terrainium.

"What about this shape?" She asks Tobi, and he gently shakes his head.

"No, that one looks too similar to this one you have in there," he says, pointing to a familiar spiral shaped shell.

"You're right, I didn't see that," she says thoughtfully.

"How about this one?"

"That one is nice, but I like this one better although the colour isn't right."

"This? Same shape but a different colour."

"Perfect!"

Rin looks at the artwork before her, thoroughly impressed with its quality and design. And she lifts the jar to Tobi's face, a soft smile lingers on her lips as he nods in approval.

"You created a masterpiece," he says softly.

"No," she answers, shaking her head.

She takes his hand and places it against the jar, with hers so closely beside it, their fingers brush ever so gently.

" _We_  created a masterpiece," she corrects.

And she lets out a soft laugh, the situation oddly surreal as Tobi's gaze deepens, his watch never wavering from hers.

"Tobi," she says mellowly, "remember the concept of time and choice?"

She hesitates, turning to face him with a small renounced smile.

"I believe you," she continues softly.

And right now, even if for a brief moment, she is finally the one victorious against time.


	28. Elixir

Curious as she may be in Tobi's presence, Rin's ubiquitousness seems to evoke some sort of unremitting anxiety in the atmosphere. They make their way to the forest, taking a detour past the shoreline to avoid the steep ascent.

Walking on in silence, the smell of fresh salty air gradually recedes, thoroughly replaced by the thickening atmosphere of the surrounding woodland. Darkness begins to envelope as the moon's ray shrivels under the bulkiness of crowded trees. The scent is now acridly sweet, the smell of fresh pinewood intermixing with mud and earth saturates heavily in the air.

Steadily, Rin takes small steps, allowing some time for her eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness. She can just make out the outline of tall trees and their misshapen branches.

"Tobi, is this what you do on certain nights, just wander off?" Rin asks interestedly, breaking the stiffening silence whilst keeping pace with Tobi's long strides.

"Yes," he answers shortly.

"Do you hope that I will leave you to your solitude?" she continues quietly, unable to comprehend where this conversation is leading.

Even Tobi finds it startling because he stops in his tracks to face her.

"What makes you say that?" he asks, sounding genuinely surprised.

She averts her gaze to the ground.

"I-I just feel a bit of an impediment to your night," she answers meekly, and he lets out a short laugh.

"You're quite wrong actually," he replies softly, "I rather enjoyed this."

"Oh…" she starts, the feverish feeling of embarrassment inundating her cheeks.

"So did I," she continues timorously.

He lets the silent momentarily fall between them before speaking.

"Shall we continue then?" He replies gently.

And she follows him through the quietude of the night, the sounds of their footsteps muffled by the soft earth and rustling of fallen leaves. The next time they speak, their surroundings have darkened considerably, and it is Rin who inevitably breaks the stillness.

"Does Deidara know you are away on certain nights?" she asks quietly, watching as he stops abruptly in his tracks.

"No one knows except you," he replies blankly, "It'd be nice if you do not mention it to him," he continues cautiously.

Gaze perplexed she stares thoughtfully, wondering why his answer strikes her as suspicious, trepidatious even. But she does not question his reply, and so the silence flows through as they resume their walk.

Ahead, the wind picks up and the ground is swamped with thick overgrown vines. Even Rin, who is immensely careful with her steps, is finding it increasingly difficult to avoid the overflowing hazards. Her steps become progressively slower, each movement a careful consideration to prevent her feet from getting caught. Though she is trailing behind, Tobi does not seem to notice, and she gets the feeling he may be lost in his own transient thoughts.

Her vision becomes blurry with the ever increasing darkness and it is only a matter of time before her meticulous walking efforts become futile. And it quickly does. Her feet catches a thick vine hidden inconspicuously in the darkness of the ground and she tumbles forward, Tobi's sudden grip on her arm saving her from an unsightly fall.

"Are you okay?" He asks skeptically.

"Yes."

"Stay by my side," Tobi says, and Rin is unsure of his meaning.

But she takes those words literally and as she moves from him, he slides his hand over hers and firms his grip. Bewildered, she averts her gaze to him, feeling his radiating heat as it reinforces the comfort and impending security.

"The path is like this for a little longer," he says to her baffled silence.

"You know?" She asks quietly.

"I can see," he answers softly.

So she accepts his offer, tightening her grip and allowing him to gently guide her through the treacherous terrain.

Navigating their way, Rin's mind has slowly relinquished all physical control, allowing her movements to automatically fall in step with Tobi's guidance.

Has she finally broken through his guarded barrier? For a brief moment, she can sense his vulnerabilities and the remarkable resistance he employs to prevent its outward display. But still she cannot figure his intentions, his actions, his personality, all of which form a complex interconnected pattern that is beyond impossible to decipher. But her curiosity inundates, and her body is coerced into fulfilling the inquisitiveness that she craves to understand.

When they encounter even ground, Tobi loosens his hold on her, only to have her resist.

"It is dark," Rin says ruefully, and her tone insinuates an ulterior motive.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks guardedly.

Her watch averts to him, surveying his sudden uneasiness at her peculiar statement. She knows her commonsensical mind will disapprove of her impending actions, but right at this moment her heart is urging her to take advantage of this situation in order to selfishly satisfy her thirst for curiosity.

Tentatively she steps towards him, his radiating unease heavily permeating the space between them.

"Curious," she whispers lightly, as the sound of her heartbeat echoes dramatically into the night.

He remains silence, the anxiety and puzzlement she senses from him should be a deterring factor to her impelling actions. But as sadistic as it may sound, his apprehensiveness is driving her desire to explore his reaction to any form of intimacy. This is when her judicious mind is tearing itself away from her heart's grip, forcefully trying to strap the damn thing down and lock its very soul away. The only issue is that her heart always seems find a way to avoid such tactics.

"I'm so curious about you," she says softly, stepping so close that her leg is brushing against his.

But his unease does not shift, even when she grazes her fingers lightly across the side of his mask, feeling its harsh raised surface beneath the softness of her skin. And her breathing is steady, even, a heavy contrast to the erratic beats of her heart. Her thoughts whirr in never-ending bemusement as her hands move to rest on either side of his face.

But Rin cannot see and so her fingers gently explore the mysteriousness of his profile, hearing his uneven breathing as she slides her fingers underneath the mask and pries it from him. And though they are shrouded in remote darkness, she can see the brief outline of his features, the shape of his face, the strong jawline that is so stark against the blackness of the night.

Demurely, she traces these enigmatic features, feeling the warmth of his skin as it emanates a feverish tenderness against her fingers. And her naivety retracts into the back of her mind. It seems so long ago that her mind was questioning her inexperience to the feelings of intimacy. Initially unsure as to how she should relieve the complex emotions of attachment, it seems standing before Tobi has given her the unequivocal answer she has been waiting for.

Timidly, she leans in, her fingers now tracing the outline of his bottom lip as she simultaneously raises her heels to reach her desirous location. Her lips press tentatively against his as alleviation washes over her. Much like how medication alleviates an ailment, the intimacy alleviates the restless desires that have been trapped within her for so long. But Rin has no idea what she is doing. All she knows is that his lips are really soft and that when he parts his mouth to sync with hers, she can taste his sweetness, feel his exuding warmth.

However, his sudden non-existent response to her amateur like movements is uncertain,  _odd_ , very much like he is testing how much she knows, or how far she will go. Patience may be illusive in Tobi's world of intimacy. Rin gets the angling wrong, hitting so painfully against his upper lip, he finally takes her face in his hands and holds her head still. Then he leans down to deepen the contact, the feeling of control, contentment,  _satisfaction_  becomes a conspicuous feeling as he assertively takes the lead.

Involuntarily, she shifts closer so that her body is pressing up against him, her entirety suddenly feeling the immense feverish heat radiating from his propinquity. In response to her movement, Tobi's arm encircles her waist, pulling her into a tight embrace so that she is almost hovering off the ground. Then, it is the sweet sensation of his enticing scent and the overwhelming feelings of his proximity that renders her hand to slide blindly in between the gap of his cloak. Excitement interlaced with a mixture of anxiety and desperation translates itself into her movements. The soft slide of her kisses, the gentle caresses across the muscled planes of his upper body, so overpowering she is sure he can sense every exhilarating electrical impulse.

Like an elixir of confidence, their feverish intimacy has given her a new level of audaciousness. Experimentally, her mouth moves to lightly bite on his bottom lip, sensing his fervor, hearing his rough sighs as she repeats the action over and over. Languidly he falls against her, allowing her body to bear the brunt of his hulking weight as he takes the advantage to gently caress the small of her back. She is apprehensive at first, but his touch is so comforting, warm,  _pleasurable,_ her body eventually relaxes, allowing the gratification of this intense fervency to transpire. Conflicting as it is, her mouth is having entirely different sensations to her body. It is like each part has a separate mind, a separate controlling system, the sensation so complex, it is impossible to interpret them on an individual basis.

Despite her inexperience, instinct tells her that this intimacy is so much more  _intricate,_ like she can sense and  _feel_  more than just the physical boundaries that is currently being displayed between them.

Pressing her against him, Tobi's hand moves to rest lightly underneath her blouse, a sensation she finds unnerving when he begins to run his fingers up and down her spine. And it is the rough sensation of his gloved hand, intermixed with the exhilarating feeling of his touch that forces an unintentional whimper from her.

It is not like she expected anything thereafter but his sudden withdrawal from her leaves her in a pool of disappointment and confusion.

_Oh Tobi! Why did you do that?_

"Don't stop," she pleads softly, making a futile attempt to push against his resistance.

"No," he says firmly.

"I didn't mean to-" she starts.

"It's not you," he interjects bitterly.

She angers, feeling the impending frustration of his feeble excuse.

"It's  _him_  isn't it?" she whispers shakily, trying to stem the growing rage inside her.

_Oh no, it wasn't meant to come out like that._

True, it didn't but she cannot dismiss the fury-provoking scene from earlier in the night between her team mates.

Tobi does not answer and so she frantically presses on.

"Is it?"

"Don't push it, Rin," he answers coldly.

The hurt and disappointment, now surging through with rapid humility, inevitably drags her to the ground, stopping herself at the last minute in an attempt to bar herself from losing what is left of her dignity.

"I…I just…" she trails off, stepping away from him.

She did not mean to say it like that. No, she did not mean to accuse him. Childish as it may sound, her frustration stems from Deidara's position, the fact that he has an unprecedented advantage over her simply for being the 'sempai.'

Still, she is not the type to impede on other people's relationships or destroy what is binding them together, but her heart has fallen so deeply into this person's territory, its shallowness at wanting something so unfeasible, unattainable, is rather  _pathetic_.

Then there is the potential that Tobi may have reciprocated feelings for his partner. This, she knows, will inevitably put her in an endless loop of redundancy, a limitless bout of useless feelings that will unequivocally send her into a fit of insanity.

So why is she having such intense feelings for someone? Did she just carelessly forget about Tobi's hostile obnoxious attitude towards her? Of course not, but the emotional burden he put her through has somehow equalised itself with the emotional fulfilment he recently embedded into her.

For so many years, she has been running in endless circles, a vicious cycle where only one goal stands before her. But for the first time in her life, Tobi has given her a reason to stand still, to understand the depths of her feelings, to sync with the beauty that surrounds her, the invigoration that he has instilled into her with just proximity alone. It may be just one night, one time, but for her it feels so much like eternity.

Foolishly, she is laying all her cards on the table, knowing full well that she is risking not only her mission but also her dignity. For someone she barely knows, have never seen and yet evokes a palliative presence to her inner turmoil, she cannot help but feel aggressively attached.

So for the first time ever, she has someone who she wants to truly protect, and it may not be out of friendship, but perhaps out of the selfish desire to continually feel the invigoration within.


	29. Vie

They stand on the outskirts of Cascades, a large town that sits atop an enormous cliff overlooking the ocean. Scattered amongst the hillside are houses of different shape and colour, their front yards all facing towards an immense waterfall that inexplicably flows silently down a rocky forest of greenery. The town is gentle and peaceful, its residents polite and unusually quiet. Foreigners are discernible because of their dress, their behaviour and the way they speak. It does not seem as if anyone could possibly blend in with the mellow demeanour of the Cascades resident.

In the next hour, Tobi's puerile behaviour and Deidara's constant burst of annoyance is beginning to attract disapproving looks from passers-by. Their incessant bickering becomes a discernible contrast to the placid atmosphere of this serene village.

"Don't touch me with that!" Deidara growls, as Tobi waves a disgusting dirt coated fabric pass him.

"It is a slingshot, sempai," Tobi says reproachfully.

"How are you supposed to create a sling shot when the fabric is almost torn in half?" Rin asks curiously, leaning over to scrutinise the material in more detail.

"Can't. I have to re-stitch it," he answers, as he carefully threads the fabric between his very shaking hands.

"Deidara-sempai, I can't seem to get this right! Can you please help?" he asks politely, his tone laced with composed impatience.

"I can help," Rin says brightly, taking the torn piece of fabric from his hand.

"Hey! He asked me to do it!" Deidara snaps, sending her a contemptuous scowl before snatching the fabric from her grip.

As much as he tries to dismiss the sudden suspicious change in Rin's behaviour, her recent actions have become increasingly contentious to the point where he can no longer ignore them. It is not a difference in her personality, rather a very forced change in her attitude towards Tobi. For the most part, her bossy obstinate like demeanour still stands, but she is becoming increasingly vie,  _competitive._

_Is she trying to compete with me?_

Compete with him for what? For Tobi?

_Well, that's not going to happen because Tobi is clearly mine._

Wait, what? No!

He cannot make assumptions regarding his feelings no matter how deep seated they are. His subconscious may be thinking otherwise, but it is his rational mind that is keeping his emotions and  _dignity_  in check. The disarrayed feelings may be impossible to categorise at present, but certainly there is an aspect of possessiveness within that is reserved solely for his partner.

Ignoring the bewildered and defeated expression on Rin's face, Deidara shifts from her proximity so she can no longer impede his concentration.

x

Inauspicious may be an understatement when it comes to Rin's life encounters, however, it could just be the vexation-provoking energy she is exuding.

When they take their seats at the restaurant hours later, Deidara automatically shuffles over so that Tobi can take his usual seat beside him.

"Tobi this seat is more comfortable," Rin says happily, patting the cushioned seat beside her.

Tobi hesitates, his uncertainty clearly evident in the way he is glancing awkwardly in Deidara's direction.

"What? Sit wherever you want," Deidara mutters irritably.

Surprisingly, Tobi decides to sit next to him, very much to Deidara's triumphant delight and Rin's chagrin.

It must either be a large dose of déjà vu or a pure act of coincidence but when the waitress arrives, she slumps on the seat opposite Tobi, completely ignoring the other woman beside her.

"What would you like?" she asks sweetly, speaking directly to the masked man before her.

"Um…tea?" Tobi answers hesitantly as he leans back at her sudden intrusive question.

"That's it?"

"Y-Yes."

"You're not hungry? We have a great selection of food and-"

"I'd like my dumplings, hm," Deidara interrupts rudely.

"Yeah, yeah," the waitress answers dismissively without looking away from Tobi.

"Please send in the orders," Rin says as the waitress makes a dirty face before slowly turning to face the woman beside her.

"I don't take orders from ugly people," she sneers, and she turns her attention back to Tobi.

_Oh…nasty._

Rin, who has now gone three shades scarlet, is furiously attempting to remain compose. The vexed twitches on her face is a palpable indicator that her rage is sitting just below the exploding threshold. Although, she is probably far too kind to act out such violent urges.

"Could you take our orders then?" Tobi says as the waitress smiles suggestively.

"Of course!" she exclaims sweetly, making a deliberate attempt to brush her hand against his shoulder as she walks by.

It must be a woman thing or a Rin thing, but it appears as if the snide comment had struck a sensitive spot. When they receive their food moments later, Rin decides to sit there in contemptuous silence, cutting her food into small unappealing portions instead of eating it.

"I thought you were hungry," Deidara says, scoffing down mouthfuls of dumplings as he simultaneously eyes her food with increasing distaste.

"Not really," she answers blankly, now jabbing at the miniscule particles like it is the waitress's face.

"Oh come on, you're not going take the bitch's word literally are you?" he says offhandedly.

She does not speak. Her expression is emotionless, equally matching the very glazed empty look that is now so apparent across her eyes.

"Don't listen to what she said, Rin, it is untrue on your part," Tobi says attentively as she turns to stare at him in bafflement.

"Okay," she utters with a faltering smile. And her eyes instantly transition from impassiveness to one of sentimentality.

_Hmph_

Why are women always like this? Taking everything so literally. At least Tobi knew what the right thing to say was.

x

"So you're Tobi right?" the waitress asks dulcetly as she plants herself beside Rin.

Tobi sits in uneasy silence.

"What a cute name-"

"Can we have our bill lady? We don't have all night, hm," Deidara interrupts irritably as the waitress slides the bill to him without wavering from Tobi.

"So I'm wondering, are these two your friends?" she continues curiously, gesturing at Deidara and Rin.

"Comrades," Tobi says hesitantly, as he fidgets anxiously with his un-drunken tea.

"Is this your girlfriend?" she continues, throwing Rin a sardonic smile.

"Uh…um…um no…" he says waveringly.

"Yes, I wouldn't want excess baggage either," she taunts as Deidara gets the feeling she meant that in a literal way.

Beside her Rin is undergoing a red colour transformation, with every word that rolls out of the bitch's mouth, her face turns one shade darker.

"Anyway, the restaurant is closing and I don't want to head home straight after," she simpers, completely oblivious to the nonplussed look that is plastering across Deidara and Rin's face.

"I'm not free," Tobi replies quickly, the sense of repulsion at her words radiating from him in all directions.

"Shame. But if you change your mind, I'm here," she says, handing him a piece of paper as a sickly saccharine look transpires across her face.

Then she stands to leave, careful to brush past Tobi when she walks by.

When she is out of sight, Tobi exasperatedly scrunches up the piece of paper with more force than necessary before attempting to drown it in his un-drunken tea.

"What'd she write on that?" Deidara snaps, snatching the ball of paper from his partner's grip before he can destroy it.

"Um sempai…"

_'Your mask on me'_

What the fuck? This bitch has sick fantasies.

In an attempt to exude the repugnant energy, he throws the note at the oblivious waitress, loudly making choking noises to indicate his absolute disgust at her sickening slyness.

Next to Deidara, Tobi has gone unusually rigid, as if the embarrassment and humiliation is leaking from underneath that mask.

"Let's move out," Deidara says tersely as his face turns a dark shade of infuriating purple.

x

Rin's sullen disposition has not improved when they arrive at a town inn. In fact, she is looking increasingly agitated and surly, glowering at a group of laughing women from a nearby bar and becoming unusually glum at Deidara's questions.

"What about this inn?" Deidara says to his teammates.

"I don't care," Rin mumbles.

"With that attitude, your opinion wouldn't count for anything anyway, hm," Deidara says sourly.

They take the next inn that is situated furthest from the town's centre. It is secluded amongst the rocky hills and trickling flow of nearby water, lending an outcast look to the place. The inn is small with insufficient vacancy, forcing them to split two rooms between them.

In usual circumstances, separate rooms for all three team members are a necessity, but in recent weeks, Deidara realises that he has been spending an increasing amount of time in the same space as Tobi. Unsure as to whether this is just a coincidence, he decides to settle with the convenience and contentment of having his partner close by.

When they are at the inn's stairwell, Rin's hankering gaze becomes progressively transfixed on Tobi.

"Well see you," Deidara says disinterestedly as Rin breaks her intrusive gaze.

Then she stalks off with not another word.

"Tobi, tell me that this isn't just a woman thing," he states reproachfully.


	30. Reverie

It may be one of those days but peculiarity does not improve when Deidara is dozing off on the very small, very uncomfortable bed.

Half past midnight and there is the noise of running water, followed by strange thumping sounds that is echoing irritably against paper thin walls.

Why does this feel like déjà vu? Why is he having so many déjà vu moments today? Grudgingly, he sits up in pitch black darkness, the only source of illumination coming from the cracks of a slightly ajar door.

"Tobi, what are you doing," he mumbles gruffly, as he turns for the bathroom.

Déjà vu or not, Tobi is sitting crossed-legged on the floor, thumping the side of his head against the tiled wall whilst bouncing a strange looking black rectangular object on his lap. The source of water, however, seems to be coming from next door.

"Oi, Tobi!" Deidara says exasperatedly.

Startled, Tobi swiftly turns, the black object vanishing so fast its existence could have been an imagination.

"What's happening?" he says briskly.

"What are you doing?"

Tobi shifts uneasily.

"Nothing."

"Right," Deidara says disconcertingly, and he wordlessly gestures at the wall.

"Oh sorry, sorry won't happen again," Tobi replies contritely, springing up from the ground to stand uncomfortably close to his partner.

At this point, Deidara takes several steps backwards because Tobi is towering over him with such intimidation.

"You haven't answered my question," Deidara presses as he watches his partner stalk pass him and into the bedroom.

"Nothing's happening."

"Yeah right."

"No really."

"You really expect me to believe that?" Deidara growls, and he is unsure as to why he is getting so riled up.

Tobi instantly turns for the door, as if he is apprehensive,  _irritated_  at Deidara's questioning.

_Oh no you don't you little shit._

"Oi Tobi!" he snaps, and he makes a grab for his partner's arm, "What the fuck is the matter?"

Silence.

"I don't want to think about anything."

His tone is faint and dejected.

Then it happened faster than neither of them can register.

Deidara is pressing against Tobi, sliding his mask to the side and tasting the familiar delectableness that is so closely associated with kissing this mysterious person. The gratification, so immense, so invigorating he finds himself pinned aggressively to his partner, clutching on so tightly, Deidara abruptly falls back until he hits the wall, dragging Tobi with him. Exhilaration defines this uncontrollable intimacy. Deidara's body is no longer in sync with his mind. His hands have somehow made its way through his partner's very soft dark hair, feeling him shudder forwards as he runs his fingers over and over.

It may be the domineering position but Tobi's response has suddenly transpired from hesitation to one of immense zeal, almost like he needed some sort of push to release his inner desire. Eventually, his kisses becomes dangerously rough,  _avid_ , surfeit with so much fervor he releases one hand from Deidara's shoulder to rest on the wall behind, much like a deterrence to contain the violence that may arise from this heated intimacy. It may be a relief but the brutal intimacy eventually takes a toll on Deidara's mentality.

Slowly, he decides to calm the excitement, gradually toning it down and allowing the tranquil of a tenderer kiss to transpire. Reluctant as Tobi may appear to follow suit, Deidara's adamancy has given him the cue to pull apart slowly. Though satisfaction saturates the air, it may not have been enough for his partner. The rough noise of readjusting his mask paired with the sounds of his departure speaks for itself.

"I have to go," Tobi mumbles incoherently and before Deidara can open his mouth to reply, he is already out the door.

x

One hour later and she is still standing in the shower, staring absent-mindedly at the multi-coloured tiles that is the bathroom walls. Her fingers, soft and wrinkly have now turned a horrific shade of red that grotesquely resembles a disheveled burnt body part.

Mindlessly she steps out, her gaze expressionless, careless as she stops suddenly to watch the offensive object before her. The positioning of the mirror, perfectly aligned with the shower door, gives off a discordant reflection of the heavily inundated resentment that is her visage. Even as she is standing there, watching her entirety, the physicality that is her nakedness, the emotions that is her disposition, she still cannot recognise the person before her.

It has been a long time since she has seen her reflection. There was never a need to, no purpose to look at the stranger that is watching her so bitterly, scornfully, disgusted at what she sees.

Tonight may have provoked a sentimental reflection within her, the build-up of trying to hopelessly 'compete' has shown her the full extent of her insecurities. And then there is the unintended consequences of her impulsive risks, of giving in to her inner needs, of allowing the disgrace that is failure to transpire.

Ingrained into her is the unrealistic ideology of winning, how she has always been brought up to please, to succeed, to look pass failures and to push on even when she has exhausted her limits. There was no room for mistakes, no room for self-identity, only one focus - to worship loyally. To this day she still holds on to that focus. The pain of watching all that she had worked for, all that she had attained in the seventeen years of her devoted slavery, devour itself into a black ditch of nothingness would be far too much for her selfish egotistic pride to take.

Her dignity, embodied by her memories and her unknown past, forms a powerful connection to what she calls her existence. To break this cascade of loyalty towards her master is to shatter her existence from this world. So what of her then? Her master holds her existence and the attainment to satisfy what she believes will fill the void in her heart – her memories. And yet she is failing, failing so miserably, permitting her emotions to overtake, her heart to claim control simply because she cannot pull her judicious mind to the forefront of these uncontrollable feelings for her teammate, for  _Tobi_.

Instead, her heart pulls her further and further away from the realms of rationality and into a world where her deepest desires linger. Of everything it is the desperation of wanting to be acknowledged, to know that her existence means something, to hear his comforting words, to feel the warmth of his radiating proximity, the heat of his kisses against her skin.

Demurely her gaze averts to the hazy reflection, the intensity of her intrusive stare propelling her into a false reality, a world of reverie where Tobi is standing before her, the reinvigorating sensation of his emanating heat becomes so real, so tangible, every part of her body yearns to fill the aching desperation that is so ruthlessly plaguing her heart. Deeper and deeper her mind takes her, no longer controlled by a rational conscious.

The craving, now so strong she can literally feel his touch against her bare skin, the heated sensation of his exhilarating contact as his fingers run the length of her body, tracing the curves of her breast, down her waist before ending back up at her shoulders. Then he inclines forward, pressing his lips to hers as she feels the invigoration of his touch, the gratification of his kiss, so passionate, so heated, she becomes incredibly dizzy from the allure of this intimacy.

"Rin…" he whispers, brushing his lips back and forth against her jawline.

Her eyes close at the sound of her name, the feel of his gentle caresses, the smell of his intoxicating scent.

But the sudden piercing pain prevails and she hears her name loud and clear within the deepest impassioned recess of her mind.

_Rin. Don't._

Instantly, her eyes jerk open, wide and fearful, unable to comprehend the stupidity and the humiliation of her heart's desperate needs, unsure as to why she would accede its overtaking of her rational judgment.

In pure mortification, she steps away from the mirror, yanking her nightdress on as she disappears for the bedroom door, never looking back.


	31. Protect

"Rin, what do you think of him?" he asks timidly.

Averting from the deep cerulean blue that is the sky, she turns to face a dark-haired boy of thirteen, her similar age reflecting back in the depths of his soft eyes.

"I think he's amazing, passing his jounin exams with top marks. I always knew he could do it," she answers admiringly.

The boy returns her comment with a half-hearted gaze, clearly her answer was anything but appeasing.

"Really?" he replies, crestfallen.

"Yes, don't you think so?"

She watches him in surprise, surveying his glum demeanour as he gives her an offhanded response.

"Yeah, I suppose."

A brief silence falls between them until he suddenly speaks in a brusque, apprehensive manner.

"Rin, are you going tell him?"

She looks to him in genuine astonishment, studying his fretful expression as his brows furrow in tense composure.

"Tell him what?" she replies curiously.

"I know you have feelings for him," he replies, and his tone is passively laced with nonplus accusation.

She keeps her watch ahead, his sudden frigid assumptions igniting a deep-seated consternation from the pit of her stomach. But she is not angry. His immaturity may internally provoke her but he is her best friend and she has no reason to accuse him of something he finds so juvenile.

_He would never understand my feelings._

"I don't know," she answers uncertainly.

She is not in the mood to explain such complexity to someone who has minimal understanding of her current position. That is, she is deeply anxious,  _afraid_  that her feelings may go unreciprocated, that their newly appointed jounin friend may turn a blind eye to the growing admiration and affection she has for him since day one of their meeting.

She lets out a deep breath, unaware that her dark-haired friend is staring at her with increasing scepticism and angst. And when she turns to track his gaze, he is surveying her with ambivalence, a brief glint of a hopeful kind of frown crosses his face. The expression is hard to decipher but there seems to be an intermixture of happiness and unease.

"So you're not going to tell him?" he says hopefully as she looks at him with increasing interest.

"Why are you sounding so curious?" she asks suspiciously.

"I-Is it a bad thing to be curious?" he stutters sheepishly as a red tinge lines his cheeks.

Then Rin is laughing and he is giving her a wistful kind of stare.

"What?" she asks.

"Huh? Oh," he quickly averts his gaze from her, "I-I like hearing you laugh," he says swiftly as the red on his cheeks darken.

She stares at him in silence, and instantly his response briskly transforms into a brigade of embarrassing emotions and flustered bouts of incoherent sentences.

"No…really…did…that-"

But his voice trails into the distant, the image of their conversation gradually shrinking and shrinking until it becomes an invisible dot suffused by a dark empty blackness. Then a sound echoes somewhere in the vast murkiness. A distorted voice. She does not understand what it is saying but she can hear its repetitiveness, the whispers reverberating back and forth between the darkness. And instantly, it becomes louder, clearer, discernible.

"Protect…protect…"

The word bounces in all directions.

"Protect…"

Silence.

"Rin…"

"Protect…Rin…"

"Protect…"

"Rin…"

"Protect…Rin…protect…Rin…protect…Rin…protect…"

And the whispers become so loud, her ears are bleeding and her eyes are wet from fear. Then, the sudden sounds of a surging electrical energy drowns the rest of the echoes.

She is falling, so fast, so abruptly, it is like a combination of gravity from a hundred earths dragging her down into the recess of a pitched black hole. Again she hears it, a blood curdling piercing cry followed by a flood of excruciating pain pummelling its way through her left chest and settling mercilessly against the raw beats of her heart.

Startled,  _fearful_ , and gasping, Rin wakes suddenly, the cold damp feelings transpire into the physicalness that is her own sweat.

_What just happened? No…it was just another bad dream._

Vivid as her dreams were, the image of a dark-haired boy becomes a blur, slowly fading to the back of her mind before dissolving.

Hastily, she makes a dash for the bathroom, her body struggling to balance itself in the midst of her actions and so she falls as a result. Unable to comprehend the situation before her, she sits there in a pool of confusion, pressing her mind to remember why the dream strikes her as strange, almost like it was not a dream but a real life event she was reliving.

Dismissing such absurdity, she makes a second attempt to stand, the light-headedness and the rapid beats of her heart becomes a distant feeling as time passes.

The bathroom is cool and placid, her feet absorbing the refreshing feeling of cold tiles as she runs ice water to her face. The raw heat of freezing temperature brings instant relief to her shaken, sweaty body, her mind now easing comparatively to the peaceful quietude of the night. And it is only then that she notices it. Faint grey lines that are barely visible against the brightness of a full moon. It is scattered across her shoulders and collarbone, as if someone has taken a pencil and drawn squiggles of indiscriminate location and tactic, and ambiguous of any reason.

Leaning closer to better scrutinise, she watches in astonishment as the lines begin to disintegrate before her, receding back into her skin like it is the most natural thing.

Disregarding her scepticism and likening it to her imagination, she turns for the bedroom, the crack of dawn clearly evident in the very little sunlight that is now hovering across the horizon.


	32. Contract

It is silent in this room. Through the small wooden windows, the skies reflect an inky indigo that is dotted with distant stars and intermittently obscured by thick grey temperamental clouds. Light rain falls at every ten to fifteen minute intervals, interchanging with the soft sauntering breeze of a peaceful nature.

Hikaru watches him from her bed. He is sitting, back turned to her and face buried in his hands. Tobi is frustrated, she knows and it is unlike him to see her with such frequency. She breathes lightly, allowing the sheets to fall from her body as she shuffles to his side.

His closeness does not exude any warmth or security, rather, it is a chilling detachment that is reserved especially for women like her. Women who come in extreme proximity to him, whose physicalness is no doubt a potential threat to his vulnerabilities. But there is an element of trust. They have a mutual contract, both seeking the same satisfaction from nights of pure lust.

And she has known him for years, their relationship never extending anything beyond one night. Even during such acts of intimacy, he is quiet, automatic yet aggressively dominating. He is never there to please nor does he ever feel the need to please himself. It is almost like something he must do, a mere inconvenience or necessity he must complete.

And unlike her, he is never fully unclothed. His shirt remains or his trousers remain, never both and it is this choice that Hikaru believes is used as an additional guard to bar himself from the potential threats of emotional bonding.

Tonight was no different. He was swift and unsurprisingly violent with his intimacy, an act Hikaru has come to accept long ago. She does not mind such brutality, perhaps it is another form of guardedness. Whatever the reason, it is incredibly rare for him to exhibit any mode of gentleness.

Hikaru continues her watch on him, focusing on his concentrated expression at the dark wooden floors and forcing herself to look past his handsome visage. His attractiveness may be a lure for other contracts with women, but for Hikaru, it has always been his mysterious personality. Never has she come across someone who exudes so much inscrutability and unfathomable emotional intensity before. But despite her curiosity, she is not one to pry. She has long ago given up on the fantasy of winning Tobi's affections. For Hikaru, it is safer to stay on the mutual contract of one night intimacies than muddle with feelings.

Her gaze now lingers on his clenched fists, the emanating feeling of anger and exasperation douses the surrounding air. And her hand moves to rest on his leg, feeling the sensation of rough fabric pressed uncomfortably against her skin. His trousers stayed on tonight. Perhaps for good reason because he withdrew from her so fast, she questioned whether he had gotten the release he needed.

"So Tobi, to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you so much lately?" Hikaru asks airily.

Tobi does not speak and it does not come as surprising to her. He is incredibly volatile, non-verbal at the best of moments and strangely sadistic in his actions and his words at inappropriate times. But she senses a change in him. Frequency may be one palpable change, but it is his character. Uncertain, frustration and anger are probable words to describe his state of mind, but they may be understatements.

She wonders if there was anything drastic that occurred to elicit such change.

In usual circumstances, her meetings with Tobi is scarce. Once every two months at most, sometimes for longer periods. Perhaps he is rotating with other women in the meantime. His business there does not concern her. But he comes to her frequently as of late. Angry and vexed, he sporadically sits in complete silence. Unmoving. Only when she speaks would he respond. Sometimes ravenously, sometimes disappearing with not a word spoken.

Shuffling closer, she places a hand on his back, feeling the radiating heat against her cool skin as she gently runs her fingers across the muscular plane. Tobi does not react but he eventually gazes intensely at her from the corner of his eye.

"We are acquaintances with a mutual contract and have been so for a while. That does not mean that I don't sense any changes in you," Hikaru says quietly.

"What do you want?" he says coldly, and Hikaru lets out a small laugh.

That callous part he has not changed.

"To tell me why the sudden change in frequency?" she answers heartily.

"My business does not concern you," he says dangerously.

Hikaru frowns.

"No, it does not but that does not mean I am an uncaring person," she says softly, and her fingers reach to trace his jawline.

Tobi does not reply, his deafening silence an indicator that she should drop her peruse of the subject.

"Fine," she breathes in defeat.

And she takes his face in her hands, watching his frigid, blank gaze seeping through as he remains unusually still. Then she leans in, her lips inches away from his. But he abruptly turns from her, his face darkens in exasperation.

"Still don't kiss hey?" she says mildly as she releases her grip on him. "Kisses men, sleeps with women. I wonder who will be lucky enough to get both?" she adds slyly.

He turns to stare at her, his eyes narrow in disdain at the sardonic comment. It may be a quirk of Tobi's or there may be other dark reasons behind his choice of action, but again she never questions him. From personality to sexuality, his intentions remain buried in the depths of secrecy. She will never know.

Tobi is extremely reticent about his personal life, never once divulging a single piece of information to her. He comes and goes. He does not even face her during their acts of intimacy, let alone disclose any personal matters. And she accepts this. It is their unspoken contract.

Hikaru has her reasons for engaging in such impersonal matters herself, but she is beginning to question whether she should move on from Tobi. She knows she is being taken for granted, but he satisfies too much of her physical needs. Perhaps then, she is taking  _him_  for granted?

_Not like it matters anyway._

"What can I say, you're always a mystery," she shrugs insouciantly.

He turns from her, fixating his watch on something outside the window. Hikaru lets the silence fall between them before she decides to speak.

"Cold as always," she whispers in resignation, and he shoots her a contemptuous scowl.

"Don't push it," he says caustically as a look of restrained frustration and annoyance laces his features.

She frowns at the contradictory emotions displayed. There is lust when he looks at her. Always has been. And tonight it was clear, stark as daylight, a sense of hunger embedded in his salacious gaze. The strangeness of such obvious desperation is something Hikaru cannot quite comprehend. It is almost like he is projecting his selfish desires through sexual means, perhaps as a way of avoiding the mysterious pain that is latching itself to him.

He stands, sliding his shirt on with effortless ease before making his way to the door.

"You know where to find me," she whispers lightly to his back. He always does, even if she is on the other side of the country.

He halts at the door, gazing at her from the corner of his eye with an inexplicable expression. Then he turns to leave, just like he always does at the end of their physical contract. Hostile, expressionless, and tantalisingly enigmatic, he is here to satisfy his physical need for release. Nothing more.  _Never_  anything more.


	33. Descend

The weather, repulsive as it was yesterday, does not improve the already solemn mood between the two Akatsuki members and their allied teammate.

"We're flying to the other side of Cascades today, hm," Deidara says stoutly, "Once we get through these mountains we go straight for that three-tail."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Rin chides, "There's a massive storm up ahead. We'll get knocked off!"

"We've already wasted a lot of time. If you're so insistent on not flying, you can walk across on your own. It'll take another day so the choice is yours," he says angrily.

"So you're going to risk getting blown off course and crash?" she retorts with equal anger.

He watches her incredulously, unable to comprehend her sudden argumentative, fuming-like temper today. If anything, he is afraid the one eighty degree shift in attitude will crack her typical self-controlled state. Killing her may save him a world of headache, but because he has no reason to, it is going to be another world of migraine-inducing argument to get his way.

"It's a risk but we'll get to the other side quicker. Besides, we've got you as a medical ninja if anything were to happen," he answers evenly.

She glares contemptuously, her face resembling uncontrolled annoyance as she twitches in revulsion at the comment.

"Do I look like a hospital?" she snaps acidly.

He glares at her.

"We're not wasting anymore time, our leader sent you here to aid us so in essence you don't get much of say in this. Go hard or go home," he replies indignantly.

She scowls at him in stiff silence before speaking.

"Fine," she answers harshly, as her eyes narrow in disdain, "Do what you want."

x

The skies rumble perilously against the dreariness of a dampen atmosphere. Rain and flashes of lightning hide inconspicuously under illusive white clouds. They fly into its approaching storm, fiercely guided by the stubborn Deidara who is refusing to process the rationality that is Rin's argument.

"See! It's not that bad," Deidara says triumphantly.

"Yeah, and you're also an arrogant blockhead when it comes to meteorology," Rin hisses from somewhere beside him.

Ignoring this slightly truthful comment, he flies forward, oblivious to the impending change in weather that is creeping from somewhere above.

"Hey! Don't go charging into the storm like that!" Rin yells from behind as Deidara cringes in annoyance.

Her tone has so much emphasis, it almost sounds like an accusation. He is really starting to resent this new attitude she has adopted today.

"Sempai, I think Rin is right, maybe we shouldn't rush into the storm," Tobi says logically from somewhere to his left.

"Tche! If you want to go with her then go, I don't care," he snaps exasperatedly.

Charging forwards, he lets the loud fluttering of wind stifle the sounds of his teammates, angry that even his partner is siding with weakness. But perhaps it is not them, but he who is unwilling to accept the truth from someone like Rin. He does not view her as inferior, rather, it is just her opinion that has minimal value. It could be exacerbated by her recent competitiveness but she is not a part of Akatsuki and she never will be.

The skies are calm, but the light drizzle of rain continues to deceive. The chilly specks flow ever so gently across the morose ambience before darkening in power as it hitches onto a gust of powerful wind.

"Sempai! Wait! Don't go there too quickly!"

His partner's voice trails into the distant, the echoes of the whistling gale becomes an audible centre that is occupying both Deidara's mind and body.

Focusing on the view across the treacherous mountains, his mind tunes into nothing but the brightening horizon that is the destination. But his ignorance to the ear-splitting thunder blinds him from the impending lightning that is twisting its way through the skies. The white flash appears suddenly, rapid, bright, and so incredibly powerful, Deidara's vision becomes temporarily blurred by its colossal force. The transition in weather dims his focal point as he is forcibly shaken from his reverie of the illuminating horizon. The present reality is now the thundering weather, the screaming elements and the torrential rain. But worse is his lack of preparation to the sudden change in wind direction.

They now fly against it.

"Sempai!" Tobi shouts as he falls in flight beside Deidara.

"Tobi! We'll fly down!" Deidara yells.

But the shrieking gale devours his words so quickly, even he could not hear them as it left his lips.

Frantic, he gestures for his partner to fly down, dipping lower to avoid the mighty, merciless wind as it shakes him side to side in a tumultuous deadly ride.

And then it hits him. Something,  _someone_ , is missing.

"Where's Rin?" he shouts as he frantically scans the open skies.

Just at that second he sees her, hanging off the bird sculpture and holding on for dear life as she forcefully struggles against the ferocious storm. The rain suddenly picks up as it joins forces with the shrieking wind, pelting at them like bullets before dragging them down with the weight of water.

Then the third flash and Rin is no longer in contact with the bird. It disintegrates guilelessly into the storm, the deadly illumination of lightning slicing through the same position Rin was at seconds earlier. And she falls fast, strangely with a very stoic expression on her face, as if she is already anticipating her impending death.

"Shit! Rin!" Deidara shouts as he swerves to dodge another strike.

But the next vicious strike is too fast.

It hits him and then Tobi, two milliseconds apart. Their bodies tumble out the skies, the might of gravity drawing them to its very core as they struggle fruitlessly against the raw thrashing winds.

Deidara freezes, his arms locked to the sides, his body numb and unmoving. Within his own panic-stricken state, he has lost all motivation to act, unaware that this fall may as well be his demise.

But then those callous eyes flashes before him - that damn Sharingan. The image is enough to subconsciously force his arms and body to unlock itself from the heavy weight of fear and gravity. He has unfinished business. He cannot die like this. His rational mind begins to race, but his body has not caught up with the logic.

Then he feels it, the painful burns, the brutal sensation of being physically ripped and torn as his body drags itself down the slope of a very steep mountain. He hits every tree, every branch, every rock. Faster and faster he goes until his arm scrapes something sharp, uprooting it from his side for the second time as his hand automatically moves to his clay pouch.

"Make it!" he cries and his strange looking humanoid sculpture suddenly envelopes. It shields his body from the brutal force of gravity as it makes contact with flat ground, rolling viciously over and over until he skids to a halt.

"Shit," he mutters wearily.

Fuck! He really screwed up this time.


	34. Interference

The cosmic force of gravity, the suffocating air and the raw thrashing winds have all merged to taunt her fall. Rin is still falling, so fast she trails behind reality. Her mind has stopped registering her surroundings, even when the savage impact of being ripped through the skin by an unknown object of nature, her conscious continues to blur.

The mountain slope, steep and lethal, progressively sharpens in view. And instantly her mind switches on, the pain that is slicing through her skin like bullets is nothing compared to the fear that is now flagrant across her face. Fifty metres down and she sees flat surface, her body frantically readjusting in mid-air in preparation for the crashing collision.

But a strange distorting sensation engulfs her, running through her body in swift successions and liquifying it until she can no longer feel its existence. And within seconds, she is released from the mysterious state, landing gently on flat surface.

"Are you okay?"

Disoriented, she breathes in confusion, her heart rapidly syncing with the anomalous whirring of her thoughts as her mind slowly processes Tobi's familiar pleasant tone.

"How did you…I'm fine…" she answers weakly, and it is almost like she is still preparing for the deadly landing impact.

She glances wearily at Tobi, surveying his untainted body as she attempts to comprehend how he had fallen without so much as a single scratch.

"Did you prevent my fall? Are you okay?" she asks hastily.

"Yes to both," he replies airily in that deep pleasant tone he now uses every time they are alone.

She nods in exhaustion, her mind formulating words of gratitude, but instead the absence of their third teammate decides to make her speak in a spur of apprehension.

"Where's Deidara? Wasn't he with you?"

"I don't know. I think he fell several mountains away, but…"

"But what?"

"We can't search for him now, the storm is picking up and it'll be too dangerous to walk around in it," he answers discordantly.

"It looks fine now," she says, joining his gaze at the darkened heavens.

From down here, the storm looks and feels less menacing.

"No it's just starting," he says solemnly, and he gestures for her to follow him.

"Wait! If you knew about this, why did you let Deidara fly us into the storm?" she asks breathlessly, quickening her pace to keep up with his long strides.

He does not speak, his demeanour is unusually focused, like he is uneasy with her questioning.

But the image of Deidara's fall reinforces itself in her mind, the fear she has been keeping at bay for the past minute rises to the surface of her throat and translates itself into bitter anxiety. She takes Tobi's arm and halts him in his tracks, the overwrought tension at her touch radiating through him and into her fingers so fast, she lets go of him in an electrifying jerk.

"But Deidara! Will he be okay?" Rin cries fearfully.

Tobi sounds resigned, a passive tone that indicates some caution and puzzlement.

"He'll be fine, he can take care of himself."

And his words resound into the night with lingering uncertainty, the restiveness stretching far and wide between them as he strides forward without looking back at her.

Twenty minutes in tense silence and the atmosphere becomes unpleasantly stale. They walk in the midst of drizzling rain and hypothermic winds, conscious of the absence of life on this secluded patch of mountainous terrain. Perhaps it is the imminent threat of a storm, or the harrowing slices of wind that chills to the marrow, but it is unusually quiet. Their footsteps muffle against the wet grass as they continue to forge deeper and deeper into the forest. And instantly, a deluge of rain starts to fall, drowning out the sounds of spinning thoughts.

Several times they pass caves and large cliffs that provide adequate shade from the elements, but Tobi ignores them with not a word spoken. And Rin is drenched, her clothes sticking uncomfortably to her skin, her hair absorbing every chilling drop of rain.

"Tobi," she says shrilly, "Where are we going?"

"Not long," he answers from somewhere up front.

She is trailing behind, the steep ascent fatiguing every muscle, every ounce of persistent willpower to get to safety. But the rain shows no mercy, splashing them with crispy large beads and cleverly hitching onto the wind's gradual strength to drown them in its wrath.

"Tobi!" she calls desperately, and this time he halts in his track.

Without a word and without facing her, he points to a small opening atop a smooth rocky landscape. Almost as if it was deliberately carved to sleek perfection, the cave is several metres from her. But first, she foresees a precarious climb.

Grouchily she follows Tobi to the cliff's base, staring up at the incredibly steep ascent as severe exhaustion washes over her. But she refuses to relent, determined to seek warm shelter, she gingerly steps onto the rocky path after Tobi.

Halfway up, her legs begin to tremble as her muscles disintegrate under the constant stress. She has not forgotten the damage inflicted onto her body during her earlier fall. Breathing heavily and forcing concentration into her mind, she takes the final few steps to even ground. And she suddenly collapses. Her chakra drained, her body heavy.  
Wordlessly, Tobi helps her stand, gently guiding her at a slow, even pace towards the cave's entry. She wonders what the significance of such place is to warrant the arduous hike.

The cave is ice cold, a hostile chill that latches to the skin and rapidly sinking to the bones. A hint of rotting vegetation and dampness infiltrates the air, but the grounds are cool and dry.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you earlier," Tobi says resentfully, and he gently places her against the cave's wall. "But we are not alone in this area, I had to make sure…and…I applaud your incredible determination," he continues certainly.

Rin watches him, a small smile of gratitude hovers ever so delicately on her lips. She is depleted, but she is grateful for his belief in her.

They watch the heinous elements in silence. The howling wind rattles with roaring force as it rips branches and uproots plants, rebounding the sounds across the night and into the dreary, empty cave. And then there is the thunder, growling with such immense force, Rin can feel the grounds vibrate around her. The rain falls hard, pelting thick droplets and scattering them to the grounds in enormous puddles of water.

Shivering in silence, she brings her knees close to her chest in a feeble attempt to keep warm. Her chakra levels are unusually low, something she cannot quite fathom, but she opts to use what is left to keep her body temperature constant.

When her mind settles and her body is relaxed, it is then she notices a sudden prickly sensation. It crawls maliciously down her back and lingers ever so subtly around her before dissolving as quickly as it came. Startled, she moves to ease the discomfort, but it is not a physical manifestation, it is her chakra senses. As she rests to re-build her strength, her chakra continues to rise and diminish simultaneously, as if there is some sort of internal leakage. So it sits there at perhaps fifty-percent. Never more, never less.

She glances warily at Tobi, who is slumping heavily against the wall with his legs outstretched.

"I'm wondering how you escaped that fall completely unharmed?" Rin asks dubiously as Tobi's watch remains transfixed on the mesmorising fall of torrential rain.

"I'm rather bemused that you assume I'd get hurt so easily," he answers lightly.

"That wasn't an  _easy_  fall," she says, perplexed.

Is that what constitutes his idea of 'easily hurt?'

"I'll give you that," he replies stoically.

He does not answer her initial question, so she continues her speculations.

"Your powers earlier, was that teleportation?"

Ever so slowly, he turns to face her, remaining in intense silence for several long seconds before speaking.

"What makes you think that?" he asks uncertainly, and she can sense the rising levels of anxiety leaking from him.

"I can sense chakra," she whispers, and her gaze remains focused on the cold ground, "I felt a distorted feeling, then I could no longer sense our chakras, and then I could and in that time I felt detached from reality. It f-felt like I was in another world, like all the chakras have disappeared and it was only ours. The only way I could think of it was that I was being teleported to another dimensional rift."

She sucks in a deep shaky breath before continuing.

"I'm sorry if that speculation was doubtful. I've only just thought, if you were able to teleport, then maybe we didn't have to go through that onerous hike to this cave."

Her focus turns to the fall of rain, a level of exasperated embarrassment settles somewhere in the pit of her stomach.

_Stop making assumptions, Rin!_

Tobi does not immediately speak, but she can hear his uneven breathing reverberating across the cavern.

"I could not have teleported us here, otherwise you would not be in the condition that you are in right now," he says stiffly.

Rin stares in bafflement, the truth about her speculations of his powers turns her focus away from the atmosphere's biting cold.

"I don't understand," she says tensely.

"It is unlucky that we landed on this mountain. There are many unseen forces lurking in its surroundings. It absorbs chakra and suppresses certain abilities. I don't have an explanation as to how and why, but my teleportation has ceased to work in this area," he says quietly.

"You were able to prevent my fall and teleport me to safety, and we were on the mountain terrain."

"No, I got to you as you were falling," Tobi says bluntly.

Rin frowns. She did not recall seeing him as she fell. But then again, she can hardly recall the memory.

"You mentioned chakra absorption. I-Is that why I am losing chakra? I feel unusually drained," she whispers fearfully.

"Yes. But your body is constantly regenerating so as long as you do not utilise your chakra, it will stay constant at half level," he answers reassuringly.

"Why did we venture so far into the forest then? What is significant about this cave? Why are we even here if our chakra is being drained?" she asks frantically, and her body shakes in agonising frustration.

"Whether we ventured further in or not does not affect the amount of chakra being absorbed. I am telling you that this area affected my teleportation jutsu. I am yet to find out which parts of the mountain is exempt from interfering with the teleportation. Otherwise we will have to walk down this mountain," he replies candidly.

And he stands, letting out a rough sigh before unbuttoning his cloak and walking in her direction.

"As for this particular cave? I can explain later once you have had sufficient rest," he continues. Then he kneels before her and she can suddenly feel the exuding heat of his comforting proximity. "This will suffice so you don't have to utilise your chakra to keep your temperature constant," he says, and he drapes the cloak over her shoulders.

The warmth instantly flows through as she moves to adjust herself to the newly accrued comfort.

"Also, no dreams for now, only…rest," he says softly, and his gaze is transfixed intensely onto hers.

Startled at these words, she averts her watch to him, ready to question the bizarre statement. But a sudden enrapturing heat inundates and her eyes feels heavy. Reality tunes out and she is falling pleasantly into the unconscious world.


	35. Symbols

It is the sound of pelting rain, the smell of decaying vegetation and the bursts of bitter slicing wind that stirs her several hours later.

Rin's vision blurs as she slowly adjusts to her surroundings, momentarily unaware of her whereabouts. And she sees Tobi beside her, the cave walls, the depressing darkness and it all comes back.

"How are you fairing?" Tobi asks quietly, and he is sounding anxious for some unknown reason.

"Rested but disoriented," she mumbles ruefully.

"Yes…that tends to happen," he answers vaguely.

She dismisses his confusing statement. Half the time he does not make sense so she has inevitably given up trying to decode every sentence.

They remain in silence as the ferocious element makes its way between them. It is the sounds of heavy rain and ear-shattering thunder that has become a deterrence to any further attempts of a conversation.

Only sometime later when the fall of rain becomes a light shower and the sounds of a storm is intermittent that Rin decides to break the quietude.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asks curiously.

"Several hours," Tobi replies as Rin moves to stand.

She cannot take another bout of disoriented feeling, albeit standing seems to help.

"How are you fairing?" she asks, and she slides the cloak from her before moving in his direction, "Thank you," she adds.

"Better than you it seems," he replies lightly, and he accepts the return of his cloak.

She smiles at the humour and Tobi ends up watching her for several uncomfortable long seconds before he stands.

He walks pass her to analyse the cave's surroundings, carefully perusing a patch of wall for an unusually long time, like he is trying to decrypt something that is completely invisible to the eye.

Rin watches curiously from afar. The cave is incredibly small, about ten metres in length and five in width, so she does not need to stand too near to figure out what he is doing.

"You said you would explain the significance of this place," Rin says.

Tobi does not immediately speak, his watch unusually focused on the wall in front. But he suddenly turns to her and beckons her forwards. Cautiously she approaches, keeping a close eye on the same patch of wall in case something unexpected leaps out.

"I explained to you earlier that I have yet to find an area on this mountain that does not impede on my teleportation ability," he says informatively, "This is just one area I am testing out. If all goes to plan we won't have to spend too long here."

"Will Deidara be okay?" she asks anxiously, and Tobi turns to face her in a perplex manner.

"He landed on another mountain, he is safe. I'd be surprised if he has not made it to the other side of Cascades by now," he answers stiffly, and it is almost like he did not expect her to ask such a fretful question.

Unconvinced, she looks to the ground, nodding half-heartedly without a word.

"Rin, he will be okay, don't you worry about him," Tobi says gently.

He stands before her, hand on her shoulder and gazing so deeply, she eventually turns away in bashfulness. She never gets him but something in his tone and his touch has given her enough reassurance to put Deidara at the back of her mind.

"How do you know if this place is safe?" she asks quietly as Tobi goes back to examining the wall.

"I don't," he replies bluntly, "but it is worth a try. If more exploration is required I can go on my own, I won't put you in any danger. Staying exactly where we are right now is safe, you know that don't you?"

For some inexplicable reason, she gets what he is asking, but she half expected him to have thoroughly understood this place without the need for further exploration.

"Yes, we are safe," she agrees, "But I sensed something for a brief moment when we first set foot in here. It was a strange sensation, like it was there, close by, but far away, like it was or is-"

"Behind the walls," he finishes, and she looks to him in bewilderment.

"Your chakra senses are extremely sensitive so I am not surprised you were able to feel minute traces of it," he continues.

"You seem to know where 'it' might be coming from," Rin says, pointing at the wall behind him.

"Yes, I can see," he replies vaguely.

The silence suddenly flows through with increasing intensity. Minute by minute and Tobi is still thoroughly perusing the blank wall before him. And he moves to another spot to scrutinise with equal acuteness before his body suddenly tenses and Rin instantly feels a sickening jolt of malignant nausea. Her chakra senses tremble and withdraws in fear, as if something is about to draw every ounce of energy from her body. But it stops and Rin falls to the ground, shivering with restless unease as she frantically attempts to control her shaking.

"Are you okay?" Tobi asks from somewhere to her right.

She gives him a withering look before slowly nodding to confirm her settling state.

"W-What was…" she trails off breathlessly.

"I think I know how to get behind that wall," Tobi says lowly.

Rin looks troubled at this piece of revelation. She is unsure of his impending plans. As if reading her thoughts Tobi quickly replies.

"We don't have to, we can-"

"No," she interrupts forcefully, "I want to get out of here sooner and if there is a way, I'll do it."

Tobi glances carefully at her, as if he is uncertain of her words.

"I cannot guarantee we would find anything, let alone be safe. Perhaps it is better if I go alone-"

"No," she interjects and the hard edge in her voice catches him by surprise, "we stay together, if something happens and we get separated, it will be difficult to find each other in a place like this. Don't underestimate me."

Tobi does not speak. He lets the silence linger as he contemplates her answer.

"Okay, but we head back here and leave straight away if we encounter anything unsafe," he says, and he glances uncertainly at the ferocious storm.

"Something would have to be pretty damn unsafe if we decide to leave in that storm," Rin frowns.

Tobi says nothing as he stands to once again re-examine the cave. Suffused with curiosity Rin stands to hover behind him, looking inquisitively past his shoulder at the very blank, very jagged dreary looking cave wall. Then Tobi traces an imaginary line up and down the rocky surface, running his fingers gently across in ambiguous patterns like he is decoding an ancient language with just touch alone.

"I see," he murmurs, "Do you have a kunai on you?" he continues, turning to face her so suddenly she fumbles back in alarm.

"Oh…I do," she answers uncertainly, and she passes the kunai in one shaky hand.

With incredible precision Tobi pierces a very small dot on the wall, following the imaginary line he so curiously traced earlier and watching with heated intensity as tiny cracks appear in the form of minuscule hollow holes that are clustered together. Then he gives one forceful tap and the brittle wall crumbles to the ground in a dusty heap.

Before them hangs a tiny rectangular carving about the size of Rin's hand, protruding innocuously from the black surroundings that was the one metre imaginary line Tobi traced earlier.

At that precise moment, the storm abates and the clouds part to reveal the light of a distant crescent shaped moon. The glow shines directly into the cavern and illuminates the carving in an expressive gleam.

"What is that?" Rin asks as she stares cautiously at the abstract looking painting that comprises of bizarre looking symbols.

Tobi does not speak but he is gazing intensely at the painting. Then he mutters some incomprehensible words under his breath whilst grazing the kunai against the black surroundings of the picture.

"What are you doing?" Rin asks fearfully as she steps in to hold the kunai's tip from making contact with his hand.

"Blood and chakra," he answers evenly.

A prick of the skin followed by the sounds of a scraping kunai, Tobi presses the bloody tip to the cave's wall and suddenly she hears it, a loud rattling noise that exemplifies the clashing of tumbling rocks, the shaking of an earthquake and the noise of falling sand.

A large rocky archway replaces that of the painting, which has somehow shrunk away into the depths of the cave wall, its existent now impalpable.

"Hmm…" Tobi says, and he curiously peers through to the other side.

"What do you see?" Rin asks nervously.

"Dark and dusty," Tobi replies, "shall we?" he adds, and he steps past the arch entrance until darkness swallows his entirety.

"Hold on, how do you expect us to see?" she calls exasperatedly.

And her focus turns inward, a surge of concentrated blue chakra transfigures into a spherical shape and hovers ever so delicately on her palm. She steps past the entrance, illuminating the dreary, narrow underground and, Tobi, who is watching her intently before speaking.

"Clever chakra control," he says genuinely.

"I'll be right behind," Rin says brightly.

Tobi was not exaggerating when he noted the underground's dark and dusty atmosphere. Even with the glowing light of Rin's chakra, the darkness extends far beyond their path. Perhaps the 'explosion' during the inner cave's reveal prompted a shower of dust to descend from its low ceiling, or their presence have rattled and disturbed the dusty air? Either way, it has not settled and so the mounting feelings of oxygen deprivation begins to sink in. It is not only the dust. The atmosphere is stale and suffocating, the air reminiscent of a physical substance that can be touched, ominous in its form and highly adept at concealing itself within one's body. It complacently establishes itself on every inch of Rin's entirety, slowly, slowly sucking away her life energy and shrouding its darkness in the very depths of an impending claustrophobia.

But Rin is highly sensitive to her environment. Her ability to detect chakra, whether innocuous or sinister, often plays to her advantage when it comes to perceiving imminent danger.

"Tobi, I don't like the feel of this place," she says apprehensively as her chakra pulsates in consternation.

"Did you sense something?" Tobi asks cautiously.

"I-I think so, can you not feel it?" she asks with forced composure as her eyes flicker nervously between the chakra in her hand and the illumination of their sinister surrounding.

"Only slight, are you okay to continue?"

"Yes," she whispers uncertainly.

They delve further into the midst of the inner cave, descending at a gradual pace. The surrounding air becomes thicker, the temperature colder. A wispy mist lingers in front as Rin exhales. And then there is the biting chill that hacks at her skin with scathing force, burrowing into her muscles and slithering its way through her veins.

"Why is it so cold in here?" Rin says shakily.

"We must be deep underground," Tobi answers mildly.

As they descend a set of uneven narrow stairs, the air becomes increasingly inundated with an icy anomaly. The quietude, menacing yet enigmatic, slowly intermixes with the frosty atmosphere with every step, until Rin becomes increasingly aware that their surrounding is suffused with a dark and threatening force.

"This is interesting," Tobi says suddenly.

At these words, Rin raises the chakra sphere towards his watch, illuminating the hundreds of human skulls, each identical to their neighbours, strewn carelessly across the wall. It stretches far and wide, the glow of chakra continues to shine light to the seemingly endless rows of bones.

"I can still feel their chakra," Rin says shakily.

"Do you recognise it?" Tobi asks curiously.

"That same slithering chakra in the Forest of Death…only less malevolent," she replies anxiously as her watch becomes increasingly fearful.

Tobi remains in brief silence, almost like he is trying to make sense of her comment.

"Tobi! The hole in their skull," she suddenly says, "I remember. That first time we saw the sacrificial pit. They are identical to these, and in the Forest of Death, I saw something similar. Do you think they are all connected?"

"I believe so," Tobi answers thoughtfully, "But I do not know how they are connected. Although you do appear to have some sort of sensitivity to this."

"What do you mean?" Rin asks sceptically.

"You recognise these pits, you sense their chakra," he glances at the skull lined wall, "and you were the only one who felt and saw that dark chakra in the Forest of Death."

Rin frowns, her eyes scanning the mass of skulls as she contemplates Tobi's explanation.

"You didn't see the dark, slithering chakra?" she asks shrilly.

He watches her in brief silence before speaking.

"Normally no, not unless I utilise my eye," he answers vaguely.

She does not understand his exposition but she takes his word for it.

"I wonder why I could only see it," she says miserably.

"It is because you are highly sensitive to chakra, perhaps even more so than those who are naturally sensory types. Can you see their chakras?" he asks, and he points to the wall.

"No. I feel them but I get this intuition that I cannot see them because they are not malevolent enough," she says disconcertingly.

"That is correct. It is because darker chakras are more intense, generally with greater concentrated powers. These ones have either not reached that state yet or have decided not to," Tobi explains.

"Decided not to?"

"Sometimes after death, some people may decide to stay. For whatever reason, some turn to malevolent activities. This increases their chakra's darkness and hence their visibility to you."

"How do you know?"

"I don't fully. It is a theoretical speculation but it does seem feasible," he answers honestly.

She nods in bewilderment, unsure of what to think of his concept. But she continues to follow his lead, forcibly ignoring the dreadful feelings of unease as they plunge further into darkness. And she walks close to him, afraid of what may lie ahead.

"I really don't like this," she states dismally.

Tobi abruptly stops in his tracks and Rin almost hits into him.

"Do you want to continue?" he asks anxiously.

She nods quickly.

"Yes, yes of course," she replies forcefully.

Fear may have lingered briefly on her features because Tobi suddenly stretches his hand out to her. Bemused, she looks to him, hoping for some sort of explanation but he does not speak. Then she takes his hand with a faltering smile, feeling the instant relief of security as it hits her core.

She is safe now.


	36. Parallel

Rin has yet to figure out the distance they have walked, but the convoluted tunnel and the deprivation of breathable air has clouded her concentration. The further they venture, the colder it gets, and Rin cannot dismiss the lingering presence of a slithering odious chakra.

Her grip tightens on Tobi's, terrified of unseen forces that may be 'living' in the confinements of this underground.

Several metres onwards and they hit a rounded dead end. The peculiar looking chamber holds several unusual stone benches that surrounds an enormous elevated and elaborately carved panel. The long stone benches sits directly below a black circular gape in the ceiling, and it is only then that Rin registers the cavern roof as the ebony coloured sky.

"I thought we were deep underground," Rin says rigidly.

"We are, we definitely descended," Tobi answers, and he stares intensely up at the dark starless heavens.

Withdrawing from her grasp, Tobi moves closer to the stone panels, examining with an air of suspicion as he kneels to peruse something she cannot see.

"It doesn't feel like we are deep underground. This chamber isn't deep enough. What's up here?" Rin says curiously, and she attempts to climb the jagged edges to survey the outside.

But Tobi catches her arm at the last minute, a strong sense of displeasure exuding from him.

"Don't be reckless," he says angrily, and he drags her from the chamber wall.

"Don't you speak to me like that," she says sternly and she yanks from his steely grip before turning from him.

She may be soft, but she is no pushover.

He allows her space before he speaks.

"We don't know anything about this place, you could have put yourself in danger," he says earnestly.

When she does not reply, he lets out a rough sigh of resignation.

"I'm sorry, I should not have spoken to you like that," he says apologetically.

She crosses her arms in nuisance. He apologised. She should let it go, but goodness gracious she really wants him to suffer the silent treatment for just a little longer. Sadistic, yes, but damn he deserves it.

"Rin, I want to show you what I found, you might find it interesting," he says cajolingly, "please?" He adds.

Well played. He knows her weakness, or one of them. That thirst for curiosity may backfire on her one of these days.

Slowly, she turns to face him, keeping her expression haughty and indifferent as she moves to stand beside him. And once the explanation begins, she completely forgets about the little incident.

Inscribed on the stone panels are bizarre like symbols, similar to that of the painting seen earlier in the cave. Old, tainted and broken in some areas, the hieroglyph-like symbols are pictographic in form and is strongly reminiscent of the stars and planets. But Tobi appears to be reading the symbols as if he is reading a book.

"Do you understand this?" She asks inquisitively.

"Yes, I can see. You tell me if you can make sense of this," he replies.

She glances warily between him and the symbols, as if expecting some sort of translation in midair, but Tobi begins to speak in a low informative tone.

_"There is one universal form of chakra divided amongst separate domains of actuality. No two planes may exist synchronously within the same axis; for chakra of one existence, though equivalent to the entity it resides in, is a disparate reality. The ultimate cause of collision between two or more niche existence…"_

Tobi pauses,  _"_ there is a missing part here," he says, but he continues without Rin's response.

_"…breach of access to a foreign realm [is] an unruly disruption of existence; chakra is the ultimate connector of infinity [that is] perceivable…"_

Another pause, "this is another missing part," he says quietly.

_"…part composition of chakra [is] the energy that guards the ideology of existence; reality, harmonising all that [is] actuality. Contravention of chakra guards [is] vital during an unintentional clash with separate domains…"_

Another pause, "another missing part."

_"…the violation [is] held in the eyes that reflect the heart; one bloodline; one individual; of one blood; one domain each; until demise retracts from the one; transferred to the next in line; one tool in reserve to be singularly effective, exists once across all planes and unsystematically transferred across domains once broken. Chakra connectors allow the liberation of existences to merge…"_

He stops, "another broken segment, this looks like the final part," he says thoughtfully.

_"…chakra sacrifices…"_

"You can see all that?" Rin asks in bewilderment.

He looks to her without speaking. Her question was redundant.

"This place is definitely a sacrificial chamber of some sort," he says attentively.

"Similar to the others?" She falters, as a flicker of fear crosses her features.

"I think so," he replies blankly.

They remain in silence, Rin's concentration on the words Tobi spoke. The mystery baffles her, both in its wording and her teammate's capability to read mysterious symbols with flawless ease. She does not understand what he meant by 'I can see,' but she gets the strange sensation that he may have advance visual prowess.

"Separate domains of reality?" Rin repeats pensively, "Does that mean there are multiple realities?"

"I believe so. No two planes may exist synchronously within the same axis, so even if there is another reality we won't know about it," Tobi answers.

"Chakra of one existence…equivalent entity…disparate. That sounds a lot like two or more realities with the same chakra," Rin says, and her mind is ticking furiously at the conundrum.

Tobi remains deep in thought for several minutes before speaking.

"Equivalent entity…as in the same person with the same chakra from different domains?"

"A parallel universe?" Rin whispers, and her eyes widen in puzzlement,"Is that even possible?"

"The universe is an infinite expanding mass, I am not surprise but…contravention of chakra guards…" he trails off.

"Chakra is the energy that guards the ideology of existence, so a violation-"

"It can be reached…held in the eyes that reflect the heart…chakra sacrifices," Tobi finishes.

"Then the parallel universe can be accessed…is this place…" Rin utters unsteadily.

Before Tobi can reply, a soft hissing sound catches their attention. And the feelings emerge. Cold, scathingly raw and malicious to the soul, they hover somewhere close and

Rin flickers her watch uneasily across the dreary dungeon, looking for the culprit.

Then something brushes her shoulder so softly, her body automatically shivers in panic.

"Did you feel that?" she asks feebly, as she moves to envelope herself in the safety of Tobi's proximity.

"No," he answers, and she lets out a frightened squeak.

She feels it, something brushes past again and then a guttural sound tunnels through from somewhere in the distant.

"Did you hear that?" she asks fearfully, grabbing onto Tobi's arm.

He does not speak, but his watch focuses on something hovering in the corner. She tracks his watch and she sees it. Pearly white, distorted in shape and floating ever so serenely against the cold dreary underground.

"W-What is that?" Rin says, and her voice is unusually high.

"Spirits," Tobi answers disinterestedly.

The petrified scream escapes her in a sickening vibration. And the terror sinks in, rapidly, instantaneously.


	37. Relinquish

The fear cuts through her composure like a kunai through flesh. Her body trembles, her muscles tighten, the oxygen sucked from her lungs so rapidly, she forgets how to breathe. Her cries echo fearfully across the empty walls of the inner cave, bouncing off every stone, every skull, every  _spirit._ And her heart beats and beats and beats. The trepidation crawls along her skin and sinks deep into her bones, washing her face in a pale shade of blue as she collapses to the ground in terror.

Rin can no longer comprehend reality, nor is she able to stop the petrification of fear from hacking at her insides and turning her physicality into a walking vessel of horror. Her mouth opens to speak, to say something, to tell her that she is capable of maintaining self-control, but only a low-pitched rasp escapes. And the tears fall, fast, rapid, the perturbation of her entirety latches to every single drop, as if every part of her rationality has metamorphosised into those uncontrollable weeps. When the tears descend, so does her judicious mind.

Then her vision blurs and she desperately wants to go, to put her mind at ease, to seek comfort from the unconscious world. But Tobi does not let her. He takes her hand and grips it tight, shaking her from the apprehension of her fears.

"Please," she begs faintly, "please let me out of here. Can we please leave this cavern?"

Her voice is thick and weak, and her hands are cold and clammy. Then hysteria arises and the imminent sensation of a frenzy outburst rises to the very top of her throat. It spreads through her like infection, choking her in panic and paralysing her in terror as it closes her lungs to oxygen.

Just when she is about to succumb to its ruthless grasp, she suddenly feels an emanating warmth. Tobi has knelt beside her, bringing her forward into a gentle embrace as his hand palliatively strokes the back of her head.

"It's okay, I'm here. I promise we will leave this place, but there is something important I need to do," he whispers soothingly.

Automatically, she clutches onto the front of his cloak, her grip initially tight, but slowly softens with every passing minute. He holds onto her for a long time. The heavy silence stretches on and on until the rapid beats of her heart becomes rhythmically tender and the numbing sensation retreats. Her mind is last to regain its composure. The comforting security of Tobi's proximity has given her the unintended strength to reclaim her equilibrium.

"Rin, I promise you this, they will not hurt you, do you understand me?" He says quietly.

She inhales a shaky breath as her grip on him tightens. But Tobi's promising words have somehow staved off any impending physical feelings of fear. He lets her find her composure in silence before speaking in a barely audible tone.

"You need to face your fears or you'll always be afraid."

But Rin is reluctant and so he lets her collapse heavily against him. Eventually, the soothing strokes of Tobi's touch and the comfort of his closeness regenerates her confidence. Reluctantly she parts her head from him, peering cautiously from the safety of his arms and watching with impending fear as multiple shades of pearly white mist saunter innocuously around them. Her grip on his cloak tightens with every inch they float closer, until she is anxiously peering from behind his arm with the side of her head planted firmly against his chest. Again, Tobi lets her find her comfort, his grip around her still firm and reassuring, an indicator that he will not let go.

Ever so slowly, her head inches away from him, the warmth of his proximity a proven factor to instilling some sort of optimistic strength within her, the reassurance he gives a sudden generator to resilience.

"You're doing well," Tobi says mildly as she winces uncomfortably when a spirit brushes past her.

Her heart, though erratic, is a contradiction to her slow, even breathing. It takes her a long time but she eventually pries from Tobi, gripping his hand as her breath suddenly hitches in apprehension.

Another brush from the spirit and this time, she can feel the dark, melancholy chakra resonating within her, almost like she can sense their agony, the despair, the pain, the innocent victim of a sacrifice.

"I can sense their feelings," she says shakily as Tobi's grip on her remains firm.

"I'm not surprise, considering you're so in sync with your surroundings. Chakra is the only connection between the mortal world and the other world so it is inevitable that you can sense their turmoil," he says softly.

She does not speak. Her heart watches on in silence as it attempts to make sense of such atrocity, no matter how long it has been. To her, the dampening of her fears have somehow transpired into something more powerful. It is that feeling of hopelessness, uselessness of not being able to utilise her healing powers to ease the pain of such dejected souls.

"Take it slowly," Tobi says ruefully as he seemingly senses the anxiety in her grip.

"Yes," she answers feebly, and she inches back into the safety of his arms.

Her fears have not completely vanished.

"Are you ready to go?" Tobi asks.

"Yes, but wasn't there something important you needed to do?"

"I've already done that. Getting you on that first difficult step to relinquish your fears," he replies softly.


	38. Company

At the original cave, the mysterious inner cavern had automatically reassembled itself to harmonise with the dreary walls. It is now dark and cold as ever, but the night's ordeal has sparked an interesting revelation from somewhere within Rin. She is seeing the world from a different perspective, this beautiful thing called life may not always be as solemn as she has made it out to be.

The weather is hostile, cutting through the cavern walls in wave-like chills and catching their breaths in its howling winds. Wheezing and gasping its way through the night, the storm picks up with ferocious ardency, until any conversation is forcibly muted between Tobi and Rin.

Only when the rain lightens and the winds have held its breath for longer periods that Rin decides to speak.

"Back at the underground cave, those sacrifices, do you really think they were used for the purposes of accessing the other universes?"

Tobi does not immediately speak, as if he is filtering his thoughts for a constructive response to her speculation.

"I believe so. I think an enormous amount of chakra would be needed to do something considerable as opening up another parallel existence, hence the multitude of sacrifices at any given time. I do not know how or why someone would want to do that."

The winds continue to screech in short intervals. Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

"There were ten panels surrounding the middle one. Ten simultaneous sacrifices. What an immense amount of chakra required for such unfathomable act. The sacrifices were completely drained of all living energy," Rin says feebly, "I felt it," she adds uncertainly.

"Who knows if it even worked," Tobi says gravely.

They fall silent. The wind has stopped breathing, for now.

"I can't seem to understand this world," Rin utters.

"The world is full of mysteries. You can never understand everything," Tobi replies pensively.

"The world has a lot to offer."

"If time permits."

"The experiences of seeing it would be better shared with another. I'd like to see it with you," Rin says gently.

A brief silence and Tobi turns to face her, his demeanour somewhat surprised at her generous comment.

"You'd want to see the world with me?" he asks in bewilderment.

She smiles hesitantly.

"I like your company," she answers meekly.

He does not speak, but his body language is cautious. She looks at him with stark confusion, almost like his wary comment was a deliberate attempt to emotionally bar her from stepping too close. However, she continues to dismiss such vigilance.

"Do you see travel and discovering the mysteries of this world a goal?" Rin asks.

Tobi keeps silence for several minutes, but his gaze averts to the stormy skies, watching the imminent fall of pelting rain as he seemingly contemplates her question.

"No," he answers shortly.

And she allows him ample time to pursue his explanation to her query. But he remains quiet so she continues, oblivious to the tension that is radiating through the air.

"Why are you in the Akatsuki?" she asks.

The atmosphere instantly turns perplexingly cold. Tobi's watch remains transfixed on the now heavy fall of rain.

"Why is the notion of world peace such a thing where everyone is always hoping for, yet the relentless wars are always so clearly evident? Action speaks louder than words, Rin," he answers eventually.

His voice is oddly robotic, didactic, full of irreversible resentment yet blatantly empty at the same time.

She gives a nod to show her sympathy, watching as he averts his gaze to her like he is about to reveal his underlying motivations for such strong views.

"And so you intend to change this?" she asks softly.

"In whatever ways I see fit," he answers coldly.

She does not pursue his comment, her wariness of his reluctance to reveal the details becomes potent, so she drops the conversation to respect his privacy.

"I see," she says.

"You don't disapprove?" he asks sternly.

"I'm sure you have the best intentions," Rin replies tenderly as his watch remains on her for too many long uncomfortable seconds.

Eventually he breaks from her, allowing the quietude to emerge between them and the unchanging forces of screaming wind to break the otherwise dreary silence within the cave.

Time moves, every passing minute aligning itself with every drop in temperature. One degree Celsius per minute. The cold crawls through her skin, radiating its sullen energy and leaving a mass trail of raised bumps in its wake. And the involuntary shivers begin, slow and unnoticeable. But she cannot continue suppressing the piercing chill without utilising her chakra.

"Are you cold?" Tobi asks, and he inclines his head to survey the obvious bumps across the surface of her arms and legs.

"No, I'm fine," she answers quickly.

_Yes, Rin, keep this attitude going and you'll end up with hypothermia._

"Are you sure?" he replies firmly.

There is a steely edge to his voice, almost like it was not a question but an undeniable factual statement that Rin cannot refute. Still, her mind refuses to relent to such weakness so the words just automatically leaves her without proper processing.

"Yes, I'm okay," she says with force determination.

"Quite stubborn aren't you?" Tobi says lightly.

"Perhaps. Deidara definitely thinks so."

"He is stubborn for thinking that you are. I wouldn't completely label you as obstinate."

Rin looks to Tobi in surprise.

"You just said otherwise earlier," she mumbles sheepishly.

He lets out a short laugh.

"I doubt your ideology of fulfilling your duties as a medic is considered stubborn. You were right to be frustrated at Deidara's decision for flying into the storm, and perhaps on other protective matters that Deidara would deem as weak and obstinate," he pauses and looks to her direction, "But you are stubborn when it comes to your own health."

A silence follows this comment. She had never thought of herself to be a priority in any way during her duty as a medic. It seems neglecting her own body is something that does not come to mind.

"Come here," Tobi says softly, and she sees, albeit not very well, that he is stretching out one leg and tucking the other one under it to form a triangle.

Bemused, she stares in his direction, highly sceptical at the sudden offer of such intimacy. But her body does not allow her time to process the appropriateness of such actions. Hesitantly, she shuffles close, the feel of his piercing stare through the mask is so potent, she is sure he can read every thought going through her conscious.

When she eventually finds her way in the darkness, she sits nervously beside him, unable to look his way for fear he may see the embarrassment that is draping her face. And though it is getting darker and she can now only see his outline, she is uncertain of his incapability to see. She stands by her speculations of his visual prowess.

Nothing happens for several minutes, and she wonders if she was imagining it all. But Tobi suddenly takes her hand and pulls her towards him.

"What are you waiting for?" He asks mildly.

She inhales deeply, unsure of what exactly she is supposed to be doing. But she immediately tenses when he continues to pull her even closer, until she is eventually sitting on him. Frantic and flustered at the sudden closeness, she desperately tries to quell the uneasy sensation of heat that is spreading swiftly across her cheeks and settling complacently across her entire body.

"Are you okay?" Tobi asks uncertainly.

His level of astuteness is remarkable. Perhaps it is because she is sitting so close to him?

"I'm f-fine," she stutters tensely.

"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," he says quietly.

She shakes her head.

"No, no it's fine," she replies quickly,  _sheepishly._

"If you say so, I just don't want you to get sick from the cold because…you know…we cannot have a sick medic."

"Is that the only reason?" she asks dispiritedly, and the words escapes her faster than she can process it.

She turns from him, uncertain of the impending disappointment to his excuse.

"Do you not want it to be the only reason?"

"I…I don't know," she whispers with nonplussed uncertainty.

He does not speak but his hand is making light even strokes down her back. The mesmerising feel of his touch is a surprising relaxant to the buzzing apprehensiveness that is plaguing her mind.

In exchange for tranquility and composure, her awareness of the situation begins to disperse. Her judicious thoughts have gradually receded into the back of her mind to be replaced by unreasonable and illogical judgments.

She knows this feeling - her heart is taking over. But this time, she does attempt to exert control. The feeling is too  _good_ , the euphoric excitement of such forbidden desires are  _real_. The thoughts, the excitement and the intriguing sensation of his touch is a reinvigorating cocktail of exhilaration.

Her breathing, heavy and impatient, translates itself into her forward actions. She leans against him, the curiosity combined with such an advantageous opportunity brings forth a sudden level of audaciousness from somewhere within. Gently, she trails her fingers along his neck, feeling the emanating heat from underneath the fabric as she moves to rest her hand on his shoulder. His nearness evokes the memory of their kiss so many nights ago. And still, she can feel the vivid sensation lingering across the surface of her skin, the undying need to revisit the intoxicating passion becomes incredibly prominent.

Her fingers rests on either side of his face before she gently pries the mask from him. He sits unusually still. He does not speak, nor does he show any signs of withdrawal. And he lets her touch him, let her feel the warmth of his rugged skin beneath her fingers, trace his features, his jawline, his soft lips and, the very uneven jagged surface of his right cheek. But he flinches uneasily, like her touch hurts and it is triggering some sort of unsettling tension in the dark atmosphere.

She carefully watches his outline as he turns uncomfortably away from her. Sensing his unease, she takes his left hand, the hand where can feel the pulsating warmth of his chakra. Immediately, Tobi's grip tightens, almost possessively as if he is afraid she may let go. The contradictory action confuses her. He offers his hospitality to protect her, yet despite its blatant level of intimacy, he is reluctant to pursue things further. It is like he wants it, but is afraid of the repercussions.

_What repercussions?_

To decipher him is like an amateur comprehending a newly learnt language. They cannot fully fathom its entirety but in order to gain a basic understanding, they must connect the fragmented pieces of information. Tobi is seemingly conflicted but his volatility has allowed him to mask the emotional strain that is afflicting him.

"You're afraid aren't you?" she whispers tenderly, and her grip fastens tenaciously on his hand, "You don't have to be afraid. I'm here."

He remains silent, but his head inclines to the ground, as if he is ashamed of the truth in her questioning. Hurt and disheartened at his manner, she places a gentle hand on his cheek, watching tentatively as he winces at the contact. But her touch remains and when he relaxes against her light even strokes, she leans in to kiss his forehead, feeling the harsh raised surfaces of what she senses to be scars.

When her lips brushes against his, the uncertainty in his demeanour becomes blatantly conspicuous, but not in the sense of outwardly rejecting her. The hand around her waist has tightened considerably,  _apprehensively_ , like his body has transpired into a rigid human statue. She tries to soothe the tension in him but no matter how much she pushes he does not return the kiss. Crestfallen, she reluctantly withdraws from him.

Perhaps she pushed it too far this time, her selfish needs of desperately wanting to experience the intimate passion that was apparent between them so many weeks ago again may have forced him to erect an emotional barrier against her.

 _"No Rin, it was a selfish attempt to satisfy your needs, your wants. You never thought of him when you decided to push forward with this. It was all for you,"_  her conscience chides.

Yes, her logical mind is right but how was she able to stand back and think about this when her heart was so clearly in control the entire time?

Her heart, so selfish and unfeeling _,_  it makes her blood run cold to think that this may be her true self.

Mortified, she turns from Tobi, her attempts to slide off him a futile try when he suddenly tightens his grip around her waist.

"Where are you going?" he asks quietly.

"I'm sorry," she whispers shamefully.

"You'll get cold and sick, we cannot have that with a medic, remember?" he answers airily.

Eventually she ends up pressed against his chest, her mind numb and uneasy but her body pleasant and complacent.

Physically, his proximity provides her with untold feelings of warmth and security, but emotionally she is broken and lifeless. As empty as her heart is, her thoughts are toxic, sitting in a deleterious mindset where guilt and shame becomes a strengthener to her selfish existence.

So in the dark quietude of this cold night, she lets the silent steady stream of tears flow, anger and hurt in every drop, in every beat of her heart. Tobi, astute as he is, does not speak nor respond. His propinquity and ignorance to her hurt seems to have left a gaping wound in her soul, but ironically, it is the faint steady sound of his heartbeat that brings her thoughts to a dormant state, allowing her to slip uncomfortably into the unconscious world.


	39. Incongruous

"Rin!"

His approaching voice echoes merrily under the brilliance of a bright blue sky.

"What's happening?" she says happily as her dark haired friend halts abruptly before her.

"Well I was wondering if-" he begins nervously but his sentence is cut short by the sound of another voice.

"Rin! Rin! Over here!" says a girl with dark long hair, and she is waving enthusiastically from a distance.

"Okay, give me a second!" Rin calls back.

Then her attention returns to the boy who is now scowling in displeasure, but his manner is quickly replaced by one of forced radiance.

"What was it that you wanted to say?"

"N-Nothing," he mutters incoherently.

"What was that?"

Her eyes dart up at the black haired girl, who is still standing there patiently, watching their conversation with mild interest.

"It's okay, I'll tell you later," he replies roughly, and there is a strong hint of disappointment saturating his tone.

She frowns uncertainly, her watch remains on him for several seconds. But his reluctance to pursue the conversation is heavily evident in his hesitant manner, so she drops the subject and takes his hand.

"Lets go, okay?" she says kindly.

The boy looks to her with sudden bewilderment, like he is unable to believe that she is speaking and holding onto him with such tenderness. He nods automatically, allowing himself to be uprooted from the spot and dragged away towards the very patiently waiting dark haired girl.

Instantly, her vision distorts and a luscious park with hundreds of floating balloons materialises before her. The fragrant smell of freshly baked cakes wafts through the air, sinking so pleasantly into her nose, she can almost taste them. In the midst of a table that is bulging under platefuls of sweets and boxes of presents, an enormous banner with 'Happy Birthday' hangs merrily against the blue background. A group of children surrounds her, their smiles evident through the brightness of a cloudless sky. Behind them stands several adults who beam at her presence, clapping animatedly along with the other children as they finish their chorus of 'Happy Birthdays,' to her.

Flushing furiously in admiration and awkwardness, she gives her gratitude to each and every one before the blur sinks in and she is sitting on the park bench under an approaching sunset. A large multi-coloured wrapped box is sitting on her lap and she is surrounded by the same crowd of people.

"Thank you so much," Rin says jovially and she gently places the box in a pile of opened presents.

"I'm so glad you like it!" the dark haired girl says.

"Two more presents!" shouts a boy from somewhere out the back.

"Here this is from me-" a silver haired boy says.

But he is suddenly pushed to the side by none other than Rin's dark haired friend.

"I'm going first," he interrupts irritably.

He glares at the silver haired boy as he tentatively approaches Rin. Face flushed scarlet, he nervously hands her a small package untidily wrapped in a purple coloured paper.

"Oh this looks… _nice_ , thank you so much," she says, forcibly subduing her surprise.

In her hand is a very interesting bracelet that is comprised of incongruous colours, namely purple, orange and a funny shade of blue and brown. The beads are mismatched in size and looks to be 'artistically' handmade.

"D-Do you think so? I-I made it for you," he stutters nervously as his uncertain gaze flicks back and forth between her and the sniggers from the other children.

"Yes of course," she answers honestly.

"Are you sure-"

"I love it, believe me, okay?" she interrupts kindly, and she inclines forward to embrace him.

"T-Thanks, I'm glad you like it," he grins sheepishly.

"Last one!" cries a red-haired girl who is eyeing the silver haired boy with increasing admiration.

"Well, if I'd known he got you a bracelet, I would have picked something else," the silver haired boy says coolly.

He hands her a small pouch with a drawstring. Inside is a beautiful plain silver coloured bracelet, its simplicity outshining even the most expensive of gifts.

"That's so pretty!" The dark haired girl says enviously.

"It looks beautiful!" another adds, and compliments begin firing at her in all different directions.

When she looks up, the silver haired boy is watching her, his usual cool gaze reinforcing the excitement from somewhere deep within.

"Thank you so much! I love it," she says brightly as a pink shade settles complacently across her cheeks.

"It's just as good as any other present really," he answers indifferently.

"Rin, this bracelet is from that famous jewellery shop, it's really pricey you know?" a blonde haired girl whispers.

"Rin, you're so lucky to have a Chunnin on your team! It's the only way they can afford to buy all this stuff!" another girl squeals.

"It doesn't matter how much someone spends on me, it's the thought that really counts," Rin says pragmatically as a sudden commotion transpires from somewhere beside her.

"Hmph! It's nothing special!" the dark haired boy says, scowling at the silver haired boy.

"Hey you're one to talk!" one girl says angrily.

"Yeah, at least get her a proper present," another chides.

Without another word, the dark haired boy falls silent, his cheeks flushed scarlet as he averts his watch to Rin, who is now eyeing him with passive frustration and annoyance. Despite her composure, he seems to have read her mind.

"I'm sorry, Rin," he mumbles shamefully.

She continues to watch him without speaking. The frustration at him for starting a commotion lingers somewhere in the recess of her stomach. But it seems her silence may have evoked some sort of deep-seated hurt within him. He gives her a look of subdued devastation before turning on his heel and stalking off.

And her vision refocuses to the warmth of her bedroom, a hint of anxiety plaguing her thoughts as she is searching for the misplaced bracelet her dark haired friend gifted her.

The world spins again in a hazy whir and she is sitting beside her dark haired friend at the same park. The silver haired boy is standing guardedly several metres away as he watches a familiar blonde man speak mutely, almost animatedly like he is giving them instructions.

But the dark haired boy appears fazed, his searching gaze highly transfixed on the silver bracelet around Rin's left wrist as it seemingly evokes some sort of bitter resentment behind his composure. Then the guilt starts and she is feeling ashamed for wearing this damn thing in front of him. And the sadness is so powerful, so blatantly obvious from those soft dark eyes, the physical clenching of her stomach transpires and she is forced to turn from him.

What was she even thinking?

Now they are walking towards the village exit and the dark haired boy deliberately falls behind so that he can walk beside her.

"Rin, h-how are you doing?" he asks timidly.

"I'm fine, what about you?"

The boy does not speak, instead, he is watching her with a glaze expression, darting his eyes back and forth between her face and the bracelet on her wrist. When he starts to speak, she does not hear him.

Her world is spinning again and this time it does not stop. On and on it turns, a blur of colours, a flash of light, then the sensation of being shaken violently as the ground beneath her cracks and crumbles. With minimal reaction time, she falls, falling, falling, faster and faster, her screams swallowed by a vortex of blackness as she descends further into the dark depths of nothingness.


	40. Regenerate

Sunlight fills the air in a glaring display of white-yellow. Her eyes open a fraction, squinting intermittently as they reluctantly adapt to the dazzling light. Her body hurts, the ache running in multiple directions from hours of lying against the hard surface of a cave wall. Worse is the bizarre dizziness that seems to have migrated from her dreams to reality. Now a faint blur, she lets the blaring sun that is reality to sink in.

Painfully, Rin proceeds to the cave exit, the absence of a storm exemplifying the green beauty that surrounds her. She wonders if Tobi slept last night or whether he decided to wander off in search of another unimpeded area. Setting foot on the wet, glistening grass, the smell of passing rain lingers ever so subtly in the fresh, untainted atmosphere. Her lungs swallow this purity, instantly relieving her body of the stale, murky air of the cavern. A light cool breeze meanders through the trees, rustling their leaves and bringing the sounds of a peaceful aura to the surrounding ambience. She revels in the tranquility for several minutes before arresting her attention to the opening trail ahead.

Dismissing the indisposed feeling that is lingering uncomfortably, she ventures away from the cave and down the trail. The forest atmosphere deepens as she crosses paths with thick trees and unusually large roots protruding from the ground. Interestingly, her chakra does not feel drained. The regeneration continues until full capacity, with not a single drop of leakage to be felt anywhere. Rin frowns in bewilderment. She cannot seem to process the mystifying energy that is exuding from this mountain, but she is certain that daylight is keeping her safe from those 'chakra leakages.'

Twenty minutes later and she stumbles across a dense patch of forest full of overgrown vines and suspicious looking colourful plants. Some are as tall as she, others are so small, she does not realise their existence until she accidentally steps on them. They expel a strange looking mustard like liquid before making an audible buzzing sound that seems to rattle persistently in Rin's ears for several seconds.

Then there are the giant black mushrooms that are twice her height and three times her width. The white spots on its cap enlarges for a second before shrivelling to half its size. The rhythmic movement mesmerises her until an innocuous butterfly flutters by and dispels the trance. It hovers close to the fungi as if equally spellbound by the spot's movements. As the spots reaches its maximum size, it suddenly stops, motionless. The butterfly lands on the white patch and within seconds, its body begins to disintegrate grotesquely into the fungi's body.

Curious, Rin approaches, analysing and perusing its behaviour as she watches more butterflies land on the white spots, their fate inevitably the same as their previous counterpart.

Taking out a kunai, she places the tip to a white spot on the mushroom's cap. Almost instantly, the tip gradually erodes against a clear liquid that is seeping from the spot. And she tracks the liquid's movement, slowly, slowly, noticing its upward motion and suddenly realising that it is utilising the kunai to get to her hand. Swiftly, she drops the weapon in alarm, staring at the now disintegrated metal. As if the liquid has a mind of its own, it ceases to spread.

Backing away in fright, Rin stares around at the numerous, venomous plants. Mysterious and alien as they may look, it seems they harbour some sort of toxin that can recognise prey at a close distance.

Cautiously, she turns for the path, acutely aware that the giant sized mushrooms have swelled considerably to accommodate its growing white spots. Perhaps they have never encountered such a big prey before.

The windy path leads Rin to the forest edge, where an enormous rocky cliff overlooks a dense patch of trees. More mountain terrains. And instantly she hears it. A soft noise that gets her startled and backing dangerously close to the edge. A black horse is watching her cautiously from the forest, its big brown eyes transfixed on her face. In rigid silence, Rin stares at it, until it lets out a soft neigh before turning on its hooves and cantering away into the dark.

Letting out a sigh of relief, she turns to look for another paved pathway, but the sound of Tobi's voice catches her off guard.

"You're finally awake," he says deeply.

"Dammit!" she shrieks automatically, "Stop doing that!"

"Doing what?" he asks innocently.

"Sneaking up on me!"

"I didn't…and I'll also keep in mind that you're bad tempered in the morning," he says as Rin throws him a reproachful look.

"Where were you anyway?" she asks stiffly.

"Checking out the scenery," he answers indifferently, "Also I'd like to show you something, you might like it," he continues, and he gestures for her to follow him.

She peers at him suspiciously but decides to cautiously follow when he proceeds ahead without looking back at her. They walk without speaking, Tobi leading her into a light patch of greenery - a vineyard that looks remarkably out of place. There are purple-red coloured grapes growing on some vines, whilst others show subtle indicators of a newly formed grapevine. In the patch of vegetation adjacent, is an enormous strawberry field.

First, Rin notices the colours. Bright, vibrant red, glistening and proudly protruding from the vivid green of leaves. Tobi walks past her and stands before a particularly ripe plant. And he takes one fruit and gives it to her.

"What is this for?" She asks sceptically.

"Something to ease the morning edginess," he replies as Rin throws him another reproachful scowl.

She hesitantly takes it for thorough perusing.

"It's not poisoned in case you're wondering," Tobi says, surveying her closely.

"Why is it here?"

"Does it matter? Just eat it, it'll take half a day to get to the other side of Cascades and I wouldn't want to test your mood on an empty stomach," he says evenly.

"You're testing my mood now," she replies irritably.

"Rin. Eat. Okay?" he says earnestly, and he takes the strawberry and puts it to her mouth.

"I-"

But she parts her lips to timidly accept the fruit, the sensuous act lasting about five seconds but continues to linger for the next five.

"Take your time…and your pick," Tobi says lightly, "Also, before we go, there is something else I'd like you to see."

x

They venture into a darken area of the forest where the air is thick and stale and the temperature is unusually low. Instantly, Rin senses a sinister presence, the chakra is familiar in its intensity and ubiquitous in its presence.

Before she can question Tobi on their whereabouts, he suddenly halts in his tracks. And Rin stands beside him, unsure of what to make of the scene before her.

"Isn't this," Rin states wildly.

"Yes. You remember it don't you?" Tobi answers lowly.

It is the exact same looking sacrificial pit they encountered earlier in the month.

"I feel like I am there again. How is it possible?" She says in puzzlement.

"I don't know, but come this way," he says and he signals for her to follow.

They walk for another five minutes before Rin realises what she is seeing.

"This is the same pit I saw in the Forest of Death," she says faintly.

"Yes, if we keep walking there are many more. There is something significant about these locations. Also, this mountain is incredibly small comparatively to the others. I was wondering, of all the surrounding mountains, we happened to land straight here," Tobi says gravely.

Perplexed, Rin turns to stare at him.

"You mean it was deliberate that we fell here?" She asks tensely.

"Perhaps. I-"

But a soft sound breaks Tobi's sentence. They turn suddenly, staring at an enormous shadow that is padding ever so silently towards them. And Rin recognises the creature. The familiar figure of an immense black horse. It watches them attentively before slowly approaching.

"It's not an enemy," Tobi says reassuringly, and he gently places a hand on the horse's shoulder, "We've met before," he continues, answering the questioning look on Rin's face.

"He knows where you are?" she asks as Tobi gestures her to come closer.

The proximity gives Rin the opportunity to peruse its allure. The beauty and surrounding aura of the horse's enigma is what she deems synonymous with that of a mythical creature. Under the brightness of the sun, its coat reflects a perfect sheen, the blackness of its colour the epitomisation of smooth shiny liquid ebony. Like the feel of silk, its hair and tail is also the precise length that enables the wind to lightly pass without hindrance.

And then, it turns its gaze to her.

"Why is it staring at me-"

But she cuts herself off, the strange sensation of a third foreign chakra lingering somewhere close. As cautious as she is with her surroundings, the odd chakra appears benign, hovering somewhere between Tobi and…

"That horse, I can sense its chakra," she whispers in bemusement as Tobi's watch becomes increasingly intrusive.

"You're astute," he answers quietly.

"That is no ordinary horse."

"It will lead us out," Tobi says, disregarding her statement, "This forest is full of illusions, even by daylight. I can't 'see' everything."

As if understanding their conversation, the horse turns its magnificent body and trots ahead, an indicator that they too should follow suit.

x

In the quietude of the forest, the sound of a billion rustling leaves resonate against the surrounding air. They walk to the edge of the forest without trouble, and it is here that they see a neatly paved pathway leading to a small village.

Then, the sound of hooves catches Rin's attention and she abruptly turns to face the horse. Ever so tentatively, it moves to her direction, surveying her with careful scrutiny as it stands close. Hesitantly, Rin stretches out a hand to touch its nose, an action that results in its sudden movement. But instead of dashing in the opposite direction, it trots back immediately, pacing anxiously around her until it halts close enough so that her hand is grazing gently across its face.

And then comes a soft musical sound from a faraway distant. The horse suddenly jerks its head backwards, almost in a startling motion before dashing into the forest and disappearing from sight.

"Shall we get going?" Tobi asks as Rin watches the horse envelope itself in the darkness of the forest.

"Yes," she answers, "This is one peculiar place, isn't it?" She adds mildly.

"Yes."

"Have you summed up your thoughts on this place?"

"No. The universe is full of mysteries. Some things are better left unknown," Tobi says, and she senses a feeling of deliberate evasiveness coming from him.

"Mm."

"I'm sorry I couldn't find an unimpeded area," Tobi sighs.

Rin turns to face him, a merciful expression flickers her features.

"That's okay, we can walk down together," she replies easily, and she takes his hand, "Let's go!"


	41. Adjust

"What took you two so long?" says a familiar officious voice.

"Deidara," Rin states.

They arrive at the mountain's base before dark. The beaming glare of sunset hovers somewhere close to the horizon, and as it recedes into the base of the earth, the chilling air meanders through in cutting waves.

"Sempai, you just got here too early," Tobi says, and he adopts that odd childish demeanour Rin has come to dislike.

"How did you know to find us?" She asks.

"Tche! Weren't you two together? Tobi sent a message," Deidara says.

"I see," she replies slowly, and she sends Tobi a reproachful look.

"We need to get going, the three tails can't wait, hm."

"Yes it can. It's darkening and you want to go and find a tailed beast?" she says incredulously.

"I'm not wasting the day by sitting around here doing nothing!" Deidara retorts aggressively.

"You're resting to get your strength back up! Once we're all fully rested, then we can go and capture it."

"I've been waiting here all day for you two and-"

"You're not the one who has been walking all day!" she interjects irascibly as Deidara turns abruptly to face Tobi.

But Tobi appears to be fazing out of the conversation, shuffling to the side and removing himself from the situation with too much eagerness in his innocent like gesture.

"Forget it," Deidara snaps.

x

The other side of Cascades Town, demarcated by the surrounding mountainous regions, is still half a day's walk away. A nearby village houses several restaurants and inns for guests who happen to venture across the mountains, but have yet to pull enough strength for another half day's walk.

The village has three large inns, two with insufficient vacancy, so they try their luck with the third.

"We only have two rooms available," the innkeeper says.

"Good enough," Rin answers as Deidara makes a scoffing sound.

She ignores him.

They do not immediately disperse for the night. Deidara bluntly complains of hunger and because he has been waiting all day for his teammates, they should have the decency to sit with him.

The inn is incredibly large for such a small village. Perhaps it is their way of stuffing as many guests in as possible. Money does not come easy for small villages competing with nearby larger towns. Rin gets that, but she cannot help but feel irritably claustrophobic in such a high density dwelling.

The restaurant section where they sit is connected to an enormous square like room made up of wooden benches and antique-like couches. People sit around with trays of tea and assortment of treats, their gaze focused on the immersing conversation before them. On her end, her teammates are quiet, perhaps lost in their own transient thoughts.

But Deidara suddenly speaks.

"Two rooms available. This obviously works in your favour," he sneers.

She turns to face him, her eyes flicker at the unnecessary comment.

Deidara's attitude concerning Rin has not improved the slightest. Although Rin's antagonism towards her teammate has subsided in the past hour or so, he is good at getting her temper flaring again. But she is not hot-headed, rather, it is the resentment to Deidara's impulsive actions that continues to linger uncomfortably at the back of her mind.

Though her position in this team remains debatable, she knows her natural instinct to protect is a predisposing factor to her domineering-like behaviour. Ally or not, she disparages any form of fighting that physically exhausts the body beyond repair. She has her uncertainties when it comes to the ideology of willpower. It is an impressive form of ability that heightens inner strength, but she cannot deal with willpower induced preventable injuries without good reason. Years of being subjected to deal with irreversible or critical injuries accumulated by her master's loyal subjects was more than enough to send her mind into a lifetime of despise for such form of fighting.

"What's your point," she states bluntly as Deidara turns to his clay moulding.

They do not speak again until he is contently lounging against the chair with a full stomach, apparently with a now diffused attitude.

"Lets take a peek at the maps. We should get some planning done," Deidara says, and he takes out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. "Last known location is Cascades Lake," he continues, and he points to a red cross marked earlier.

"The terrains to get there, we will need to go through this forest," Rin says.

"Don't think that's the problem," Deidara says thoughtfully, "there is a small village that sits right here on the edge of this lake. How should we catch it without causing commotion?"

They sit in contemplative silence.

"Get some bait," Tobi suggests eagerly.

"What," Rin states in disbelief.

"You know that's actually not a bad idea. We can lure it elsewhere, perhaps away from this lake and into this adjourning one. It's just forest around here, hm," Deidara says.

"Do you think that would work?" Rin asks.

"Heh! My plan always works," Deidara answers haughtily, "Just you see and-"

But their conversation breaks as a commotion stirs from somewhere to the right. Two people have entered the inn carrying an injured third person between them. They sit him on the couch, watching as he falls to the side in pain.

"Akihiro, don't move too much," his female comrade says, and she glances uncertainly at her other male comrade.

"What do we do, Sora? The nearest hospital isn't for another half day's walk," the male comrade says, and his tone is faint and shaky.

"It's fine, Naoki, I just n-n-eed some rest," the man named Akihiro says, and his voice is barely above a whisper.

"He won't survive the night," Sora says, and her troubled expression is stark across her pale face.

"I don't know what else-"

Naoki's sentence is cut short by Rin's approaching voice.

"I am a medic, I can help him," she says gently, as the other two stare at her in bewilderment.

"Y-You can help?" Naoki asks, and he suddenly looks relieved.

Akihiro's wounds are critical. Although mild from the outside, his internal organs have been punctured in multiple areas. As Rin begins the onerous process of internal stitching, she can sense Deidara's disapproving scowl from across the room. She knows what he is thinking. Her skills should only be used to benefit the Akatsuki. But she is technically 'off-duty' so he has no damn say.

Her work is remarkably precise and incredibly efficient. Only thirty minutes in and she is already closing up the two small deep gashes in Akihiro's abdomen.

The now very quiet and empty inn watches on in heated silence, a palpable look of admiration and gratitude imprinted on the faces of Akhirio's comrades and those few bystanders who stayed behind to watch.

"He will be fine. Just a couple night's rest and he should be able to journey that half day's walk to the hospital," Rin says brightly.  
Naoki drops against the chair with a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for saving our brother," Sora says and her expression is stark with appreciation.

"That's quite alright, he's got stamina," Rin says as she turns to Akihiro.

He gives her a small faltering smile of gratitude, and it is in that moment that she can't help but notice that he is extremely handsome. She turns away in diffidence, re-assembling her medical kit as the two siblings depart for the front desk, deep in discussion with the innkeeper.

As she stands to leave, a feeble hand brushes against hers. Akihiro gives her another small smile before speaking in a faint tone.

"Can I ask your name?"

Rin hesitates, but then she smiles.

"My name is Rin," she says, and he beams at her.

"You have such a gentleness about you Rin, I find that incredibly fascinating," he says quietly, and he places a reassuring hand on hers.

Without thinking, she tightens her grip on his, allowing the feel of comfort to radiate through. And it startles him, but the soothing relief of her proximity is more than enough to keep his ailment at ease.

"Maybe once I get better, we can get to know each other a little more," he says sheepishly, "You know, I'd like to repay you for saving my life," he adds.

She gives him a small smile of surprise.

"Maybe," she answers quietly, and her gaze briefly meets his.

Then, the sudden urge to embrace him feels so real, she quickly turns away in embarrassment, focusing her watch somewhere out the window.

"You sound reluctant. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way," Akihiro says feebly.

As she returns her watch to him, she catches Tobi gazing at her from the restaurant table. He turns away when she looks to him, and though her watch continues to linger his way, he does not look back.

"No, it's not that. I'm just on the road," she answers.

"Akihiro! We were able to get you a room so you can rest up," Sora says.

The siblings return, three sets of keys in their hands.

Akihiro suddenly turns sullen, as if his siblings have interrupted an important moment. They must have realised, glancing between their brother and Rin, and their hands on each other.

"Right," Sora says slowly as Naoki looks to Rin and Akihiro in stark confusion.

Before Rin can reply, a hand rests on her shoulder. Startled, she turns to see Tobi, standing behind her with perhaps a very intense look underneath that mask.

"We're leaving," he says seriously, and that deep cold tone is miles away from the pleasant sound she is used to hearing.

"Leaving? I thought we are staying at this inn," she answers in puzzlement.

"Change of plans," he replies, and he turns to leave, following Deidara out the front door.

Rin frowns at the sudden adjustments to their plan. Perhaps they willingly gave up their rooms so Akihiro and his siblings could utilise them.

"Did someone give up their rooms for you?" Rin asks the siblings.

"No, we had a group of people who just checked out and left five rooms available. Did you need a room to stay in?" Naoki asks.  
Rin shakes her head.

"I'm settled," she replies.

"Rin, who was that?" Akihiro asks sceptically.

He looks uneasy. Beads of sweat cling to the side of his face and forehead as he watches her intently.

"Comrade," she answers.

"He does not look like a comrade," Akihiro says quietly.

Rin looks troubled.

"What do you mean?"

Akihiro shakes his head, giving her a sentimental look that is heavily laced with a passive expression of regret.

"Perhaps if we meet again and…things go well, we can properly get to know each other. I'm sorry, my repayment to you would have to wait just a bit longer," he says tentatively.

He stares vacantly out the window, refusing to elaborate on the vagueness of his sentence. Even his siblings look confounded. Rin does not question him, but she smiles and squeezes his hand as a sign of reassurance.


	42. Illusion

**_This chapter contains trigger content for abuse_ **

* * *

The place they find is a three-bedroom house in a secluded corner of the village. Deidara and Tobi did not provide an explanation for their departure from the previous inn, nor have they bothered to do the same with this house. Scattered around this corner of the village are other similar looking dwellings, and it must be some sort of house-style accommodation, as opposed to tiny inn rooms. Rin does not question. She does not feel like this is her place to make remarks about their sleeping arrangements. Deidara is already in a hostile mood with her, whilst Tobi appears to replicate the same level of hostility for other unknown reasons.

They already have the keys, her teammates somehow organised this new accommodation without her knowledge. Deidara passes a key her way without looking and disappears into the darkness of a bedroom with not a word spoken. Tobi has mysteriously vanished elsewhere, leaving Rin alone to peruse the environment.

She does not mind the place. They all get their own rooms and the house is complete with facilities that would assist her in re-organising her medical supplies. The place reminds her of a wooden cabin, albeit with high ceilings and a touch of luxury. It is quiet and spacious, its secluded location amongst the mountain side lends a level of tranquility and peace to the atmosphere.

Her room is comfortably warm and cosy. It has been a long time since she has felt physically at ease. Even the simplicity of a hot shower provides enough content. The bed is firm yet inviting. It welcomes her with the warmth of its sheets, sheltering her against the outside world as she buries her body beneath its heaviness. And her nightdress is cool and soft against her skin, the privacy she has come to yearn since her departure from the dungeons becomes more and more potent the longer she stays on the road. Revelling in this rare luxury, her eyes closes and sleep takes over easily.

Only hours into the night and she ends up waking to the dark stillness. Automatically, she reaches for the glass of water beside her, but disappointment surges when it is empty.

_Really now?  
_

Sighing heavily, she pads to the door and out onto the hallway, briefly glancing at the illuminating clock that reads one hour past midnight. Fumbling her way in the dark and not bothering to turn the switches, she shuffles past the other bedrooms, hitching her breath when she thought she heard something. But to her relief, it was only Deidara's snoring.

The outside light is scarce, the moon sheltering behind a mass of mountains and the stars concealed under heavy tufts of clouds. But Rin makes it to the kitchen without trouble, downing the contents of water with ease before blindly feeling her way back. And then she sees the outline of a figure, standing by the drawing room with their back to her. Startled and wide-eyed, Rin peers cautiously from her position, wishing she had bothered to switch the lights on. But then the figure moves ever so slightly, like it notices her presence.

"Tobi?" She says waveringly, and the figure half turns to face her.

It is him. Without wearing his cloak, she did not instantly recognise his outline. And as she pads closer, she realises that he is maskless, albeit his visage is conveniently swathed in darkness.

"Will you not sleep tonight?" Rin asks quietly, watching as he moves to lean against the armchair.

"What are you doing up so late?" Tobi says, disregarding her question.

"Water," she states, "Are you okay?"

She shifts closer and he suddenly crosses his arms protectively. At this point, she notices her nightdress and wishes she had put something on to hide its revealing style. Flustered, she hugs herself in an attempt to cover up the plunging neckline, but she gets the peculiar feeling that Tobi has probably seen everything he wanted - even in darkness.

"Go to bed," he says stiffly.

Rin frowns.

"I think I can make that decision for myself," she replies briskly, and she takes several strides to cover the distance between them.

Rin cannot see him, but she can sense his anxiety and the antagonistic tension he is exuding. She takes his hand, and instantly he flinches from her touch.

"Tobi, what is on your mind?" She asks, perplexed, "I can help."

"No, you cannot," he replies cynically, and he shuffles uneasily from her proximity.

"Try me."

"No."

Rin lets the silence sit, but she does not move from her position. Then she takes his hand again, and this time, she holds firm as he attempts to withdraw.

"Don't act tough and hide away, I'm watching you," she says earnestly, and Tobi suddenly loosens his restraint on her grip.

This time, she can feel the aggrieved bitterness radiating through his touch. And she leans in to place both hands on either side of his face. He does not react to her actions, but he has gone unusually rigid.

"I'm here if you need me," she whispers gently.

And in that moment, she so wants to press against him and feel the familiarity of his warmth against her. But she is afraid of pushing him into guarded territory, so reluctantly, she lets go.

They stay there in unmoving silence until Tobi brushes his fingers against hers. Perhaps it was by accident, but Rin is so attuned to any signs of openness from him, she instantly reacts. She takes his hand again and moves closer, but Tobi withdraws from her grasp and places his hands on either side of her waist. He keeps her immobile at arm's length, as if he is reluctant to have her close. But his touch is  _different._ Surfeit with madden restraint and fury, his fingers dig into her waist, pressing his hands so forcefully against her, she winces in pain. Instantly, he lets go of her, the sounds of his frustrated groan resounds into the atmosphere.

Rin watches him curiously as he walks to the opposite end of the room, as if he wants to keep his distance from her.

She lets him have his space for several moments before approaching.

"Tobi?" She says uncertainly.

He turns to face her.

"You should go to bed," he says quietly, and there is a hint of coldness in his voice.

"It's something to do with me," she says ruefully.

"It's not," he answers brusquely, and Rin tentatively draws nearer.

She does not speak, instead she raises her hands to rest on either side of his face before pulling him down to her level. And it is only when her lips are inches from his that he moves to grip her wrists.

"Don't," he says firmly.

She pulls away from his grasp.

"I don't understand you," she says brokenly, "But I'll take it as a cue to step away."

"You wouldn't want this anyway," Tobi says caustically, and he turns away from her.

"Maybe I do!"

He is momentarily silent.

"Really?" He whispers eventually, and his tone is saturated with deadly malice.

He turns to face her and the chakra he is exuding is so rancorous, she falters back in fright.

"Yes," she replies forcefully, and her heart is racing manically.

"I don't think you have any idea what you're getting yourself into," he says dangerously.

"I'll be the judge of that."

Instantly, he advances towards her.

"Really?" He says fiercely, "let me give you a taste of what it's like then," he adds scathingly.

Her back hits the wall in surprise as Tobi's sudden hulking weight pins itself to her. Ruthlessly, he grips her face with one hand before holding it down to the side and exposing the delicate side of her neck. The painful whimper escapes her as his mouth presses to her shoulder, running the length of her neck with cruel force as he attempts to stall her movements. Then he lifts her chin with unnecessary pressure, ignoring her faint, rasping cries as his face comes intimidatingly close to hers.

"Are you really sure?" He whispers savagely.

But he does not wait for her response. Suffused with uncontrollable callous, his mouth collides with hers. His kisses, inundated with so much anger and brutality, she attempts to push him away to alleviate the pain. But he disregards her feeble efforts, persisting with his actions until her lips tear and she can taste her own blood.

"Is this what you want?" He says gratingly, as he abruptly withdraws from her.

"Answer me!" He continues harshly, and he is shaking her vigorously by the shoulders.

But all she does is let her tears fall and the small frightened sobs to reverberate between them. Her breathing is shallow, her heart is beating frantically, and her mind has lost all sense of reality. Shaking in trepidation, she turns her gaze from him, the attempts at stemming the overflowing tears a futile try. And she lets out another sudden rasp like whimper as he presses his mouth to hers with vicious force. This time, he is less forgiving. His hand moves past her shoulder to aggressively grasp her left breast. And he grips it so mercilessly and so violently, she can literally feel the searing pain and the impending bruises. He does not let her cry as a response to the pain, nor does he let her move in any way. He is so rough, and so physically dominating, Rin feels incredibly powerless against the sickening wrath. Inside, she is broken.

_It's not him, it's not him, it's not him.  
_

No, it is not Tobi, it is  _something_  else. His anger and his hatred to this situation is deep-seated, stemming from some unknown source of bitter resentment she has yet to understand. But he is vulnerable and the act is a direct correlation to his earlier hostility towards her. She does not know how she knows, but it is clear, stark as day.

As she struggles against him, Tobi slowly pulls away, but his body remains firmly attached to her. He watches her in silence, her uncontrollable weeps fuelling the aversive tension.

"Do you want a repeat of that?" He whispers sadistically, and Rin hitches her breath in protest.

"P-Please…" she cries faintly, "l-lift it."

And he keeps quiet for several seconds before releasing the genjutsu. Terrified and shaken, Rin backs towards the wall, averting her gaze to Tobi, who is still standing a fair distance from her.

Never in her life has she ever been subjected to such brutality - even if it was genjutsu. She knew what it was, knew it was an illusion, but she could not escape it. As if trapped in an endless cycle of fear, the genjutsu fed off her weakness and drained her strength so that she could no longer resist. There is only one dojutsu that is capable of eliciting such ferociousness, but the unfeasibility of it quickly sends the speculations to the back of her mind. Exhausted, she collapses to the ground, the tears still falling and sticking uncomfortably to her face.

Tobi slowly approaches, kneeling before her as he leans in to peruse her expression. Ironically, his familiar warmth is what quietens the pace of her beating heart.

"That hurt didn't it?" He says ruefully, "Is that what you wanted?"

She shakes her head.

"I thought so," he replies softly.

"No," she falters, "That was not you."

She hears his uneven, shallow breathing. He did not expect that response from her.

"A replication of me, so in essence it was," he says patiently.

"Then why did you feel the need to use genjutsu? I am sure you are capable enough to do the same without utilising illusions," she says tensely.

He hesitates.

"I choose how I want to do things," he says coldly, "Why are you so persistent?" he adds quietly, and he is sounding impatient.

She does not answer. Instead she turns from him, her thoughts buzzing in apprehension. Then Tobi moves closer and he takes her face in his hand. The feel of his  _real_  touch is vastly different. He is gentle, and perhaps his reluctance to physically hurt her is a reason for the use of genjutsu. Still, the mental strain he put her under was comparable.

"Did you need me to repeat anything?" He says, and there is a hidden threat in his tone.

"That won't change anything. It wasn't you," Rin replies faintly, and she can sense the frustration coming from him.

"Dammit, why are you so persistent?" He mutters exasperatedly.

It must be a subconscious thing, or the fact that Tobi is lost in his own thoughts, but he leans in, resting his forehead against hers in resignation.

"Just tell me to step away from this and I will," she whispers brokenly.

Tobi tenses in silence. His fingers digging into her shoulders as he attempts to restrain the obvious indignation that is plaguing him. Then he withdraws and walks away from her.

Rin keeps her focus on him, watching his outline as he slides his cloak on.

"Go, before I end up hurting you again," he says bitterly, and then he is gone.


	43. Waiting

She is waiting for him. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. Thirty minutes. And she sighs in resignation, unable to fathom her own reasons for being so patient.

"Rin! I'm here, I'm sorry!"

He skids to an abrupt halt before tumbling forwards to the ground.

 _Typical_.

"What's new?" Rin breathes, and she crouches down to take his hand, "Everyone is there. Lets go!"

A hazy distortion and she is sitting by the training ground. A group of boys from the Academy spar in avidity, each determined to surpass the other with forceful willpower.

"You're not joining them?" A voice says, and Rin turns swiftly to face a dark-haired girl.

"Kurenai," she says brightly, "No, I'm not much of a fighter."

Kurenai laughs.

"That doesn't excuse you from training," she says lightly.

Rin inclines her head in diffidence.

"Perhaps. But the boys are a bit rough, and besides, I need to focus on my medical jutsus. I am a team medic after all."

"You study too much," Kurenai says.

"It's important. I stand between life and death to put it bluntly," Rin says.

"You need to stay alive for that too you know."

Rin lets out a small chortle. Kurenai always brings the simplest, obvious things to mind.

"You're right, I definitely need to practice my evasion skills a little more."

They fall into peaceful silence, watching their classmates spar and defend in a mesmerising blur. And she becomes momentarily captivated by a silver-haired boy, who is training several metres away on two incredibly small targets. He runs, spins, flips, throwing the spinning weapons in a simultaneous act and landing perfectly just in time to see the kunais land themselves in the target's centre.

"Kakashi again, hey?" Kurenai says.

The sound of her voice breaks the trance, and Rin turns a soft shade of scarlet at the realisation of Kurenai's question.

"Not abnormal at all," Kurenai continues, and she laughs at Rin's tentative expression, "Although I wonder if he even realises all the attention he gets."

Rin frowns.

"Perhaps, but maybe he doesn't care much for it. What's going on with you and Asuma?"

She wants to steer the topic away from Kakashi. His inattention towards her existence is rather dampening.

"Don't change the subject!" Kurenai says, and a pink tinge settles across her cheeks.

"It's obvious that you two are exclusive, even if it isn't announced," Rin teases.

Kurenai does not answer, but the light, dreamy look of desire is flagrant in her deep gaze.

"Say Rin, do you ever wonder what it would be like years from now?" Kurenai asks several minutes later.

Rin looks to her friend, and there is a hint of anxiety underlaying her tone.

"We will get past this war," she reassures.

They fall silent again, assimilating Rin's words of comfort. She does not want to think about the other possibilities. Losing the war is not something she has thought hard and fast about. Consequences would be catastrophic, she can deduce that, but she has faith in her village and she will do all she can to ensure its success.  
Kurenai seems to be thinking on the same lines, because she turns and beams at Rin.

"Konoha will prevail," she says, and her tone is now strong and confident.

Another distorted blur and Rin and Kurenai are standing in the exact same spot, albeit the sun is setting and the boys have finished up their rigorous training for the day. She tracks Kurenai's gaze to Asuma, who is speaking animatedly to Kakashi about something.

"Can you imagine those two as really good friends later on in life?" Rin says happily.

"Maybe. Can you imagine them all grown up?" Kurenai grins, and her face has gone unusually scarlet.

And silly Kurenai has implanted embarrassing thoughts into Rin's mind. Kakashi growing up to be a strong handsome man, and her as a woman, standing beside him, hand in hand.

"You're thinking the same thing aren't you?" Kurenai giggles.

This time, it is Rin who turns bright scarlet.

"Oh stop it!"

"What about your other teammate?" Kurenai asks, and she nods in the direction of Rin's dark-haired friend.

"What about him?"

"What do you mean?" Kurenai looks startled, "You do realise that he isn't going to stay like that forever, right?"

Rin turns her watch to the dark-haired boy, who is apparently in an argument with one of their classmates.

"You watch your back! I'll be the Hokage one day so don't mess with me, loser," the dark-haired boy shouts.

Then, as if sensing her watch on him, he turns to face Rin, a sheepish grin crosses his features for a brief second before the other boy decides to use the opportunity to kick him to the ground.

"Ninjas shouldn't get distracted. You would know," the boy says sarcastically, and the other children laughs and chides as the dark-haired boy disdainfully spits a handful of dirt from his mouth.

"Oh dear," Kurenai says, "Maybe that's why you couldn't envision him as a strong grown man."

x

She shifts uncomfortably in her sleep, unaware of the accumulating levels of sweat that has drenched her entire body and seeped onto her bedsheets. Her dreams rattles her, but she is not perturbed enough to wake. And so her mind slowly slips back into a deep sleep, the events that is displaying before her is far, far from the abstractness that one would call dreams.

"You know, maybe you should stop picking fights for once," Rin says, and she puts the finishing touches to his dressing.

"It wasn't my fault. He provoked me first," the dark-haired boy replies glumly.

Rin sighs.

"Always the same."

"I'm sorry, Rin," he mumbles shamefully.

"No," she says gently, "I don't want you to get hurt so unnecessarily. I'm watching over you, remember?"

He stares wistfully, almost as if he is going to cry, but he holds back and inhales deeply.

"Yes, I know."

"Don't you forget me when you become Hokage!" She says brightly.

And his eyes widen in surprise. Her comments could not have evoked a more passionate feeling of confidence and encouragement.

"You can be my second in charge," he says sincerely, "so you will always be in the spotlight with me."

He blushes timidly as she takes his hand.

"Do your best!"

x

Her breathing is rapid, as if her lungs are gasping for every molecule of oxygen. And her body twitches, the sweat intensifying and her eyes move erratically beneath her eyelids. But still, she does not wake.

They are sitting beneath a large maple tree that is devoid of the usual bright green leaves. Autumn has set in, with the leaves responding to the falling season in an orange-yellow tinge. The days become short, the weather turns cool and people begin gathering wood in preparation for the cold winter. Only two ninjas have decided not to partake in such activities, and they sit and talk animatedly as if it is the most natural thing.

He leans heavily against the tree trunk, digging his dark gaze into a pile of newly fallen leaves.

"I wonder what it'll be like when we all grow up," the dark-haired boy says pensively.

"We'd be strong men and women of Konoha," Rin says certainly.

"Tche! Imagine Kakashi as a strong man," he scoffs.

"Like it or not, he probably would be," Rin says lightly, and the image of her and Kakashi flashes in her mind.

_Damn Kurenai!_

"What are you thinking?" The boy asks, and he is surveying her with such intensity, she wonders if he is reading her thoughts.

"Nothing," she says quickly.

But the deep flush catches her friend's notice. And he knows her so well, he does not peruse her thoughts. But he frowns dispiritedly before turning away from her.

"Rin, you said before…about me being Hokage, does that mean…you envisioned me as one?" He asks self-consciously.

"Of course, it wouldn't make sense if I envisioned you as Hokage and then have someone else in my head," she answers in puzzlement.

"That's not what I meant, I mean…" he trails off uneasily, his face now resembling the colour of beetroot.

And she suddenly catches on.

"Well…I think you'd be a strong ninja, and definitely taller too," she says heartily.

He nods quickly in agreement.

"Yeah! I'd definitely be stronger and taller than Kakashi," he says confidently.

And she laughs, her merry giggles resonating brightly through the serene atmosphere. He watches her closely, a gentle smile of doting admiration lingers ever so briefly across his features.

"You know, I hope I'd be strong too. I cannot let you two beat me to it," Rin says thoughtfully.

His eyes are wide with affection and something else she cannot fathom.

"You won't just be strong, you'd be popular too, and you'd definitely be incredibly beautif…a-awesome…"

He stops abruptly before averting his gaze to the ground. The heated flush is now so apparent across his face, Rin can almost feel the embarrassment radiating from him. But he is muttering something incomprehensible, and she has not a single clue what he has been trying to convey.

"Popular?" Rin blinks in astonishment, "that's a bit presumptuous," she continues hesitantly.

"Not even," he says briskly, "a fact that I know."

"Then the three of us can all be popular together. I won't keep the popularity to myself," she teases, "And who knows, maybe you'll be so popular, you won't need my sharing portion."

He stares unblinkingly.

"Right," he says, "No point if my popularity doesn't concern you," he mutters incoherently.

"What was that last part?"

"Eh? No, nothing, I meant to just say you're right," he answers, and there is a deep blandness to his tone.

She glances at him, and this time, her stare is frighteningly rigid. The world around her is now dark and dismal. The moon glows blood-red, illuminating the figure of the dark-haired boy, who is still sitting beside her with an unreadable expression.

But he looks different. Long hair, face heavily mangled and he is bleeding from his empty left eye socket. A long black cloak is draped around him, and as she opens her mouth to speak, he reaches over and places a hand to her cheek. It is startlingly cold against the warmth of her skin. And it is then, she feels the spill of liquid red dripping from her lips, and the sudden agonising pain that is searing and pulsating against her left chest.

"Rin," he says despondently, and there is a flicker of hatred skimming the surface of his dejected features.

As she takes his hand, the image of her friend slowly dissolves, and this time, she wakes.

Saturated in her own sweat, she stands in an attempt to quell the fearful shaking. But her legs are numb and weak, and it may be the combination of a slippery surface, but she falls hard. The dizziness swirls and swirls, much like the strange distortion she keeps seeing in her dreams.

_Dreams I cannot even remember.  
_

And under the feeble rays of moon, she sees the grey lines again. It is darker, more sinister looking and has spread to her arms and legs. The time and speed it takes to recede into her skin is slow, and when it finally disappears, so does the strange dizzying sensation.

The hot water is soothing, comforting, safe. She stands there for a long time, until the water turns cold and her fingers have shrivelled into wrinkled dates.

The sun now hovers ever so delicately on the faraway horizon, igniting a vast display of autumn coloured auras against the darkened heavens. She has no intentions of returning to sleep. Her mind is dazed, her body is senseless. And she sits there in the quietness, contemplating nothing, awaiting the long day ahead.


	44. Again

This half of Cascades Town is almost identical to its counterpart on the other side of the mountain. But it is slightly smaller, with a buzzing atmosphere and chillier winds. Waterfalls are ubiquitous here, and many residential houses are built around these natural beauties.

They arrive in the early hours of the evening, having walked half a day to their destination.

At the town's busiest restaurant, they sit at the very corner to avoid any unwanted attention. However, such tactic is a futile try when all servers - particularly one, are acutely aware of all incoming customers.

"Well what a surprise!" says a sweet voice and the sickening tone hits Rin so hard, she swiftly turns to a menacing dark haired busty waitress.

"Aren't you the waitress who served us on the other side of Cascades Town?" Deidara asks sceptically as a sweet delicate smile curves the corner of her lips.

"I'm flattered that you remember me. I just moved here yesterday, change of scenery," she answers lazily, her glance never wavering from Tobi. "And isn't this a wonderful coincidence!" she continues.

She takes a seat beside Rin and opposite Tobi.

"Not this again. Could you at least take our orders first lady?" Deidara says crossly.

"Of course," she simpers, "Tobi, tea again am I right? Or are you hungry this time?"

"Tea is fine," Tobi answers uneasily.

The waitress quickly jots down Deidara's order before swiftly standing to leave.

"Wait, you haven't taken my order," Rin says quickly.

A brief silence, and it is almost like the waitress is contemplating on whether to ignore Rin's comment or to say something nasty in reply.

"Oh, I thought I made myself clear that I don't serve ugly people but then again, your lack of comprehension is mind-boggling. Oh well, I'll make an exception for today, what would you like?" she says airily.

"Forget it, I'm not hungry-" Rin replies indifferently, and a humiliating shade of pink saturates her cheeks.

"Tche! She is, just bring out whatever for her, gees," Deidara interrupts irritably.

x

They sit in silence, neither relaxingly nor tensely, rather a quietude that insinuates awkwardness. On the opposite side Deidara starts busying himself with his usual clay moulding, whilst Tobi watches on attentively.

Suppressing the urge to leave, Rin forces her attention out the window, but perhaps Tobi's reflection is somewhat a trigger to the impending sullen thoughts. They have not spoken since the ordeal last night, and it almost comes as an emotional blur to her. If anything, Tobi is likely disregarding the existence of such event and perhaps reverting back to his old ways of ignoring her.

The relationship she has with Tobi extends far beyond her abilities to fulfil her duties. Inconvenient as it may be, she cannot help the gnawing sensation of desire that is building so tirelessly within her. But Tobi is pushing her away, chipping at their relationship bit by bit and establishing an emotional barrier that is precluding her presence. And for this reason, she feels disheartened and terribly lonely.

"You're so cute, Tobi you know that. You're the most interesting customer I've ever had," the waitress says sweetly, and that sickening tone is enough to break Rin from her miserable trance.

"Tche and you're the worse server we've ever had," Deidara mutters.

Though the waitress suppressed any desire to throw derisive remarks at Rin, it seems her insults have gone into the food she brought out.

"What'd she get for you?" Deidara asks, leaning over to scrutinise her plate.

The food, visually unappealing, appears to be some sort of meat stew that is caked in oil and other unidentifiable toppings.

"I doubt someone like you would eat that," Deidara says as the mischievous grin on his face becomes more and more blatant.

Tobi on the other hand seems to be watching the situation unfold in silence. His incredibly relaxed demeanour is only an obvious indicator to her that he does not seem too perturb by the event before him. Though she does not expect his input into such a demoralising ordeal, she is secretly disappointed.

Gingerly she starts picking at her food, disregarding the subdued vexation that is lingering somewhere in her chest. But her mind becomes wary,  _suspicious_.

_Did she put anything in this?_

As if reading her thoughts, Deidara speaks.

"I'm sure it's not poisoned. Gees just eat it, why are you so fussy?" he complains between mouthfuls of food.

x

Arriving with the bill, the waitress saunters pass Deidara to plant herself opposite Tobi, completely ignoring his fellow teammates and the exasperated look that is plastered across their faces.

"Tobi how was your tea?" she asks sweetly, leaning over so that her breasts are in full view.

"Uh…" he starts uneasily as Deidera silently imitates gagging gestures at the explicit display.

"Oh, you didn't drink it-" she says, crestfallen.

"The twat doesn't want to drink it, just drop it," Deidara interrupts heedlessly.

"I wasn't talking to you blondie. Go play with your other prissy half," she says nastily, glancing satirically at Rin.

"What did you say?"

"Are you scared you're just as ugly?"

"Don't make fun of my sempai," Tobi says coldly as Deidara opens his mouth to retaliate.

Apprehension, annoyance, intermixed with a tense atmosphere and everyone's attention turns to Tobi.

"Sempai?" the waitress blinks, "He's your sempai? I see, w-well then I must sincerely apologise," she says quickly not sounding sorry at all.

"I don't care what you say, just keep your big fat mouth shut, hm."

"Well, have a nice night everyone," the waitress simpers, and she drops another piece of paper beside Tobi before disappearing.

"Give me that," Deidara says, snatching the paper from Tobi's grasp.

"S-Sempai-"

Without thinking, without realising the mortification to come, Deidara reads the note out loud.

"Naughty or nice? Come find out."

Silence. Humiliation. Embarrassment.

"What the fuck is this?" Deidara exclaims incredulously as his face turns a dark shade of red.

"Thanks for reading it out loud," Tobi mutters roughly.

"That stupid bitch!" Deidara says angrily.

Rin, who has just registered the situation, has turned an incredible shade of scarlet. The explicit innuendo, now taking a toll on her mentality, has somehow transformed itself into the ferocious burning sensation that is spreading rapidly across her cheeks.

Forcing the sudden forbidden thoughts that is plaguing her mind, she transfixes her watch onto the outside velvet skies. And though Deidara's complaints and angry hisses remain deafening against her thoughts, she cannot dismiss the disheartening conversation between Tobi and the waitress.

_He was protective of Deidara, yet remained so passive when snide remarks were thrown my way._

Summoning all willpower, she forces the despondent thoughts from her mind, unable to look at her teammates when she stands to leave.

"I'm going first, I'm…I'm tired," she says swiftly.

"What?" Deidara interrupts brusquely, "Quit running away!"

"I am not running away!" Rin says hotly.

_Yes you are._

"Tche! Overly sensitive then aren't you?" He jeers, and it sounds as if he is reading her feelings.

"Just leave me alone," she says pointedly, and she places her share of the bill on the table before turning for the door.


	45. Concede

"Oi Tobi, do you think Rin is up to something?"

"You're just being paranoid, sempai," Tobi answers casually.

Unpleasant as the waitress was, Rin's actions were too overly melodramatic for the situation. Her abrupt absence appeared exaggerated, almost like the hostility was an excuse for some other more deep-seated issue.

"Hmph! She's always sneaking off, coming up with random excuses," he says gruffly.

"Well, maybe she really is just tired," Tobi assures.

"I guess, at least she won't be around to bother us," Deidara says, not really thinking about what he just said.

"What did you just say?" Tobi says surprisingly, and he halts in his tracks.

"I didn't mean it like that!"

Tobi does not answer.

"Are you coming or what?" Deidara snaps testily.

"Did you really want it to be the two of us?" Tobi asks, and there is a flattered edge to his voice.

Flustered, Deidara folds his arms across his chest in an attempt to quell the impending shakiness.

Dammit! Why is he feeling awkward? He's the dominant one here! No wait, not dominant, why does that sound wrong?

_"Are you saying you want to be the dominant one?"_

He stiffens at the sudden subconscious comment.

"Stop overanalysing," he retorts harshly as Tobi winces unpleasantly at the scathing remark.

"Sorry," Tobi mutters.

Deidara does not speak, nor does he attempt to subdue the feelings of guilt that is surging through. But the silence flowing between them signifies some unspoken feelings. His muse plagues him because he does not understand why someone like Tobi would be so amiable and attentive to such a spiteful and conceited bastard like him.

_If I reciprocate, how far will you go, Tobi?_

x

The town's inn is the shabbiest looking crap Deidara has ever seen. Nearly everything inside is broken, from holes in the walls, chips and stains on wooden furniture to scorch marks on long dusty old curtains. It is a far cry from the town's ubiquitous beauty. He wonders if this is some sort of illegal establishment the town does not know about.

An unusual stench hangs heavy in the air, involuntarily wrinkling their noses as they make their way across the building. The innkeeper sits wearily behind the counter, staring at them despairingly as if he has never seen a customer before.

"This place reeks like shit, hm," is the first thing Deidara says when they approach the innkeeper.

"You don't say," he replies discordantly, "Here are your keys, only one room left," the innkeeper continues and he gives the two visitors a knowing look before turning away.

"Rin must have gotten her room already," Deidara frowns, "But it is unusual that I've been having to share a room with you so much lately."

"Is that a bad thing?" Tobi asks as they ascend a set of rickety wooden stairs.

Deidara does not answer, his logical mind is too busy suppressing the lingering forbidden thoughts of desire as they approach their room. And it is the epitome of cheap, old and shabby. There are two small beds tucked away near the corner and Deidara wonders how on earth he is going to fit onto such a tiny mattress. Then again, he thinks of Tobi who is much bigger and taller than he.

The room is unusually dark and dingy even with all lights on, but there is one that keeps flickering incessantly, giving off a low-pitched buzzing sound with every flash.

"I can't see," Tobi says from somewhere across the room as Deidara irritably shuts off all light sources.

Ignoring his partner, he walks pass to pull apart the curtains, a desperate attempt to get as much of the moon's light in as possible. But their window faces an ugly brick wall.

Shrouded in darkness may have been a bad idea after all. He does not see the enormous collection of dust residing in the curtains, and haphazardly cops a blow from pulling the fabrics apart, inhaling so much dust his eyes water and his coughing is ceaseless.

"To hell with this place!" Deidara curses, and he makes a run for the bathroom.

"Washing the dust off your face when it's already in your lungs isn't going to really help-" Tobi starts in that very annoying tone Deidara has come to hate so much.

"Shut the hell up Tobi!" he yells angrily through a face full of water.

Tobi's figure disappears abruptly from the door. Sure, his partner's stupidity pisses him off but Deidara should at least be a little more appreciative of the intention behind it.

He clenches his fist, angrily thumping it against the shabby bench top as it rattles dangerously on its hinges. Damn! He'll just have to suck it up and apologise.

Walking out the bathroom, Deidara finds himself standing in a pitched black room.

"Tobi?" he calls hesitantly, not bothering to turn on the lights.

No answer.

But hunched over in the corner of the room is none other than his mysterious partner, sitting heavily on the tiny bed with an aura of despondency emanating from him.

Cautiously Deidara approaches, joining his partner beside him as the bed sags tiredly against two heavy weights.

"Tobi?"

He does not speak, nor flinch, nor show any sign that Deidara had spoken.

"Oi Tobi, I didn't mean to lash out," he says apologetically, and a streak of embarrassment suddenly lines the sides of his cheeks.

"Hmph," Tobi scoffs, and Deidara can see the swirly outlines of his partner's ugly mask.

The silence lingers heavily in the air, almost like a cloud of pollution that is ready to taint his lungs with every breath.

"Tobi, don't resent me. Where was your usual oblivious response…" he trails off uselessly, the right words dispersing somewhere in the disgusting air.

The silence continues and only when Deidara decides to give his partner space that he suddenly speaks.

"Have you heard of limits?" Tobi asks irascibly as Deidara forcefully digests those words.

It was not a question.

Maybe he is assuming too much, clouding his mind with the idiotic ideology that someone so carefree would never fall victim to anger or sadness.

"Tobi," Deidara says, resting a hand to his shoulder and withdrawing suddenly as he flinches uncomfortably at the contact.

Deidara frowns uncertainly, allowing several seconds of space to fall between them before he reaches out for a second round. This time, Tobi does not move, nor does he seem in any way perturbed by the fact that Deidara is slowly prying the mask off his face.

It is an audacious move, yet uncertainty obscures his thoughts and any scrap of logic that tells him his next move is anything but rational. Either way, his body has long ago detached itself from his mind and it is doing what it desires most without any thought for consideration on how its owner or Tobi would feel.

"Just let it go already," Deidara whispers, and his lips presses against his partner's for the umpteenth time, only this one is the third  _real_  time.

Tension mounts as Tobi instantaneously becomes rigid, his body frozen solid at the sudden action. But he does not withdraw or respond, like he is uncertain of the circumstances.

_You're either in or you're out._

With that thought viciously replaying in his mind, Deidara takes his partner's face, his forcefulness seemingly draining the rigidness from Tobi's body as he coerces him for permission to enter. But Tobi shrinks back in alarm, the unexpected move inches from breaking the kiss. Deidara's grip remains firmly attached to either side of Tobi's face, so the action rebounds hard, leaving a pungent taste of blood between their mouths.

And Tobi becomes still, Deidara taking this as a cue to continue, his fingers already making progress with the gratifying journey across his partner's body. Could it be that Tobi is suddenly conceding defeat? Perhaps, because he is becoming more responsive, hesitantly encircling his arms around Deidara with a possessive yet tentative grip. The result is a sudden fiery impact between the two, their mouths clashing ferociously as Tobi becomes increasingly violent,  _passionate_ , dominant.

Yes, this is certainly the moment Deidara has been waiting for, to see,  _feel_  the zealous intimacy.

Lost in his own world of pleasure and excitement, his second mind decides to uncomfortably nudge its way out of his pants, only to be embarrassingly suppressed at the very last minute. Retracting from the situation, Deidara makes a sudden move to shift back. But Tobi, who is as fast as he is stupid, decides a few milliseconds after to tighten his grip around Deidara, preventing him from moving in any direction but forwards.

Then Tobi is pressing their bodies together so that their heartbeats are palpitating as one. The gesture is so oddly arousing, a long sigh of gratification escapes Deidara's lips. Over and over he sighs, his mind intrigued at his partner's responses to the audible sounds of their intimacy. So with every sigh of pleasure, his partner responds with more fervour, more intensity, more  _aggressiveness_. And it is in the middle of all this that Deidara realises that he is the only one making any sounds. Tobi's quietness is perhaps disconcerting, like his mindset may not be in the same space as his.

Either way, it has never been a hindrance to his 'pleasuring skills' so he has nothing to complain about. Right now, their mouths are engaged in a ferocious battle, their bodies mimicking tongue movements, ravishing each other and forcing themselves down one another's throats. The air, heavily inundated with arousal becomes some sort of reinforcement to their fervent intimacy.

And Deidara suddenly finds himself pinned against the bed, Tobi's hulking figure hovering over him.

"Tobi?" he asks uncertainly.

Tobi does not speak, instead he reaches for the brim of Deidara's trousers and proceeds until they are sitting just beneath his thighs.

_Damn!_

_"Relax,"_  his conscience murmurs.

Relax? How can he relax when Tobi's fingers are making light subtle movements up and down his thigh? How the hell can he relax when his 'other' mind is eagerly watching those deft hands?

It must be his restlessness but a sudden involuntary gasp escapes him as Tobi wraps a gloved hand around his aching length. The passion, the gentle sliding act, the exciting sensation of rough material, it goes on and on but too slow by Deidara's standards. Preference wise, he is violent, austere,  _impatient_. If he has to move fast, he won't hesitate to.

But despite these domineering thoughts, it never translates to reality. His moron of a partner is more physically dominant and overtly demanding than ever before. That piece of shit, he is employing satirical tactics to harness his way through so that he can assert control over their acts of intimacy.

_Damn him to hell!_

Then Tobi stops and Deidara is restless again, throwing him irritated glares even though neither of them could see the other's face in the dark. But when he forces his body rigid, Tobi's grip tightens and he is sliding his hand down to the base, expertly rotating his grip back and forth until the pleasure builds and all logical thoughts are lost.

_Fuck! He's really going to kill me!_

"What are you…" he trails off tenuously.

Without answering and without giving him a break, Tobi continues to manipulate the surrounding raised edges of skin, replicating the same rotating action, clenching and unclenching until Deidara is groaning with pleasure.

_How does he…know?_

It is not like Deidara explicitly stated what gets him off.

_Admit it. He's just good._

So in the moments before liberation, he loses all control of suppressing those groans, and any other methodical reasoning against this whole ordeal. If the walls are as thin as he thinks they are, well his neighbours are in for a long night.

Bracing himself for the impending exhilaration, he holds on to Tobi's surprisingly soft hair. Then he is seeing stars because in the last few seconds before his release, he is flying amongst the shiny little dots.

And when he sits up, disoriented, Tobi's outline is standing at the end of the bed.

When did he move there so quickly?

"Tobi?"

Perhaps he imagined it all? Either way, it felt real enough… _maybe_. He does not know. It does not matter.

And he is always sleepy after… _liberation_.

Uncontrollable. It cannot be helped and he is not sorry for it at all. Tobi does not answer and so Deidara leaves it there.


	46. Confusion

When Rin rejoins them the following morning, the very one-sided antagonistic friction between her and Deidara still saturates the air. Neither have spoken a word to each other so Tobi is forced to act as mediator for the three tail's capture. It is not the greatest idea, letting his puerile attitude take over, but because Deidara has no interest in discussing tactics with Rin (or talking to her), he decides to put up with his partner's stupidity instead.

"Sempai, all you need to do is blow it up," Tobi suggests eagerly.

"Have you tried capturing a tailed beast before?" Rin asks Tobi.

"Of course! I was actually involved in delegating the other team members on how and where to capture the tailed beast and-OW."

Deidara has thwacked Tobi across the head, his level of disdain and indignation tipping the scales.

"Tobi, quit talking bullshit," he says curtly as he finally relents and accepts his role as leader again, "I'm going to go over the plan once, so listen carefully."

x

Silence and unspoken tension continues to permeate the surrounding air. Cascades Lake is palpable from the neighbouring dense forest that is demarcated by a shallow rocky ridge. Bordering a paved entry way are tall wired fencing that indicates their encroachment on private land.

"We need to cross here to get to the lake," Deidara says, and they cut their way through a "No Trespassing" sign.

The pervading silence amongst Deidara's teammates is unusual. Although it is a nice change, it strikes him as suspicious, as if something is clouding their minds and they are struggling to remain focus on the task.

He glances at Rin, who is looking slightly troubled and plainly deep in thought about something. And Tobi, who is remarkably automatic in his strides, as if he too is lost in thought.

_Wonder what he's thinking?_

Last night? No, Deidara bad idea, do not think of last night, this is not a good time to be thinking of last night. He squeezes his eyes shut, forcing the explicit imagery from his mind.

Astonishingly, it takes up all the willpower he can muster to prevent an embarrassing exhibit in front of his teammates. The thought gets him grinning haughtily as he briefly glances at Tobi. But not before Rin catches the entire action. She gazes suspiciously in his direction, raising her eyebrows perceptively and narrowing her eyes speculatively at his expression.

Little miss bossy must be losing out on this Tobi war.

He smirks superciliously, throwing a pompous look her way so that she stares back at him in confusion. Her watch averts to Tobi, who is busy looking straight ahead, then back at Deidara, who is basking in the pleasure of watching her discern the look of smugness on his face.

When she finally gives up on her suspicions, he decides to stoke the fire a little more.

"Tobi, if we successfully capture the three tails without too much fuss, I'll teach you the next part to sculpturing, hm," he says gleefully.

"Really?" Tobi answers surprisingly.

"Sure, why not? It'd be interesting to see your progress," he says as Rin throws a reproachful scowl his way.

"That's very nice of you."

"Don't get your hopes up too much though," Deidara says, sending Rin another smirk as she seemingly catches on to what he is doing. "Also, you don't always have to thank me for everything you know. I offer you to do things because I think you're capable of doing them well, hm," he finishes, and that was several puns intended for the last sentence.

Tobi seems unaware of the explicit innuendo, or at least he is pretending to be. From what Deidara deduced, his partner is not as stupid as he comes across.

"Sempai, you're too nice," Tobi says delightfully as Rin's disdainful glower continues to bore into Deidara.

From the beginning, she was always a competitor and frankly he was happy that Tobi initially disliked her. It is unfortunate for him that somehow the two decided to be comrades. Either way, he won't hesitate to play dirty if he has to.

Without uttering a word, Rin continues to display a mixture of resentment and displeasure at Deidara.

"I think  _you_  are too nice," he says slyly, and this time Tobi seemingly catches the insinuation behind his tone.

If this obscure revelation isn't displayed across Rin's features, she must be incredibly adept at hiding it.

Tobi turns from Deidara in tense silence, the idea that he remained quiet is perhaps a clear indicator that he is acknowledging the events of last night.

In an attempt to break the awkward silence, he gives Tobi something to do.

"Go check out the front surroundings, I'll check from the skies and if everything is clear we can just fly over," he says forcefully.

"Roger that sempai," Tobi replies, and he disappears with perhaps too much eager in his strides.

Without further ado, Deidara makes a jump for his bird sculpture, only to be rudely intervened by Rin.

"Wait one moment," she says quickly, "What happened between you and Tobi?"

"What?" he retorts in disbelief.

As if this is the time to ask stupid questions.

"You heard me," she says coldly.

"So you suspect something?" he asks slowly.

"You haven't answered my question," she replies frostily.

"Why should I? Maybe you should ask Tobi. I'm sure he's happy to reiterate his amazing tactics to you," he says sarcastically.

"I…you…" she blinks in bewilderment.

Her stare seems to have intensified ten folds, transitioning between astonishment and rage. She shakes her head quickly, as if trying to repudiate what she has been suspecting all along.

Deidara shrugs indifferently.

"You asked I'm just being honest," he says lazily.

"I…" she starts, and her entire face turns a deep shade of red.

Then instantly, her expression goes blank, almost emotionless. But the pursed smile she gives hides a string of austere resentment.

"Fine," she whispers eventually, and her tone is dangerously cold.

"Oi! Where are you going?" he asks as Rin turns on her heel to stalk the other way.

"Away from you," she answers shrilly, and then she is gone.


	47. Sorrows

Nature soars by in a dazzling display of green and brown. She breathes rapidly, but not out of exhaustion. The fury sinks deep, rooting itself to the base of her bones and igniting her veins in a fiery catalyst.

_Stupid idiot!_

How could she even think to let her selfish desires take over? Tobi would never, ever reciprocate his feelings for her.

 _What was_   _I_ _even_ _thinking?_

And now she is treading water, desperately clinging to a hopeless reality she knows will never suffice in reclaiming her dignity. At this rate, she might as well drown herself in the depths of her own humiliation.

_Dammit!_

If only she never saw the incredible changes in both her teammates' chakras, and if only she never confirmed her worst fears with Deidara. Sometimes she counts her ability as a curse, being more of an insufferable nuisance than a worthwhile gem. But perhaps this is a warning. Don't get involved. Don't allow your feelings to make decisions. Don't get attached. You have a duty.

_You've taken everything so heedlessly yet you don't even realise it._

Exhausted, Rin collapses against a large maple tree, her gaze transfixed on a bird pecking zealously at a piece of fruit. The scene reminds her of those sincere moments she had with Tobi on Cascades Mountain. But the memory is so pain evoking, she forcefully shuts her mind off before the agony destroys the nostalgia.

And she sits there in dreaded silence, earnestly concluding that her capabilities to drown her sorrows will inevitably end like this.


	48. Miracle

Her despondent outlook does not improve by late afternoon. Rin is wandering aimlessly, languidly hunched over with a look of impassiveness plastered across her face. Under the surface of composure is the allusion of dejection and mistrust. Her mind has conveniently disengaged itself from the barbarous surrounding that is reality.

And she walks purposelessly towards a small village on the outskirts of Cascades Town, unaware of the contrasting changes in scenery as she draws nearer to the centre. The village houses several market stalls and guest accommodations. Residential dwellings appear scarce and there is an obvious difference in the structural and environmental atmosphere between the north and south ends of the village.

Rin stands amidst the upper, wealthier north side, surveying her surroundings and eyeing the very distinguishing features of the poorer end that is the south. Though the village is small, this end is vibrant, bustling and surrounded by a picturesque nature of greenery, waterfalls and nature. But the old, tattered and dirty buildings of the south is so palpable, it is like she is looking at a post-war zone. And she approaches it, passers-by watching her curiously as she walks determinedly towards the impoverish area.

When she does finally stop, it is because a stranger has caught her attention. A little girl, no older than three has somehow attached herself to Rin's leg. The girl is dressed in rags, her hair dirty and matted and the skin on her arms and legs are dotted with bites and bruises.

"Mama," she says sweetly and her body clings possessively.

Rin's expression softens as she crouches down to the little girl's level.

"I'm sorry I'm not your mother, you look lost," she says kindly and the girl's face darkens in fright.

"Where's mama then?" she asks warily.

"I don't know, I can help you find her," Rin answers gently.

The little girl shakes her head stubbornly.

"But you're mama, I can tell."

Rin stares at her in surprise.

"What is your name?," Rin asks, and the little girl suddenly takes her hand in a tight grip.

"Kari," she mumbles.

Rin smiles.

"Kari, lets go and find your family, okay?"

Kari nods in reluctance, and before Rin can lead the way, she is tugging at her in a forward direction. Confused, Rin follows, keeping a watchful eye on their surroundings as passers-by give her a look of bewilderment. It is not every day they see a beggar, child or adult, given any attention by a well-dressed individual.

As they near a dilapidated building, Rin notices the area as a set up base for homeless citizens. Countless bodies are strewn across the walkways and she is uncertain as to whether they are dead or alive.

The smell of decaying litter, dead rats and sewage saturates the air. The stench is incredibly pungent, lingering intensely in her nose and refusing to unlatch itself from her despite moving towards untainted air.

And then there is the 'gloom and doom' atmosphere. Almost all the buildings here have been destroyed, half crumbled or caught up in some sort of catastrophic disaster.

There is rubble, sand, overgrown weeds and rubbish everywhere.

A pond sits ever so serenely amongst the mass of litter, and when Rin draws nearer, the stink from it hits her like a cannon ball. Forcing herself to turn from the blackened-green like water, she holds her breath, only exhaling when they are a fair distance away.

Kari continues to lead, deeper and deeper into the depths of physical poverty. Ahead, she averts her gaze to an oak tree, where an elderly woman is lying seemingly lifeless against its shade. Wordlessly, Kari points in the direction of the woman and as they approach her, she begins to weep. Glancing uncertainly between the little girl and the woman, Rin attempts to soothe Kari, who is now watching the elderly woman with increasing apprehension.

Appearing on the verge of demise, the woman mumbles incoherently, her eyes peeking open to observe the newcomer. An enormous dirty ragged shawl is wrapped around her fragile body, save for her face and hands.  Her grey hair is equally matted as Kari's, and the thickened skin of old age sags depressingly against the degrading surface of her body. She is so thin, she could be mistaken for a decaying corpse. But her bright blue eyes is what catches Rin's attention. Deep within their depths, she can see a flicker of hope and desperation seeping from them.

Kneeling beside the woman, she begins a swift examination, rapidly determining the source of a curable infection that has spread into her bloodstream. But she is confident and her smile must have caught the woman's attention because she reciprocates with her own feeble grin.

It does not take her long to remove all sources of the infection, but her chakra is incredibly low from the strenuous battle against the very determined culprit.

"Grandma, are you well?" Kari asks quietly.

"Ah, always ready to fight back," the woman replies faintly.

"I take it that you're recovering already," Rin says kindly.

The woman looks to her with passive tenderness.

"Luck is on my side this time, thank you," she says softly, "I hope I'll be around a little longer so that she is safe," the woman continues, and she glances uncertainly at Kari.

"Her parents-"

"Dead," the woman interrupts bluntly, "Gone."

"I'm sorry," Rin whispers.

They fall into brief silence before Rin decides to speak out of curiosity and despair.

"What happened here?"

The woman is stoic for several seconds, as if she is trying to extract unpleasant memories from her mind.

"This place flourished about twenty years ago, but the Third War wiped out our entire economy."

The woman pauses as she attempts to breathe. It looks difficult, but she eventually manages.

"But disputes over land and resources are still happening. We are in a bad location for ninjas of the Fire and Earth countries. A battleground perhaps. Kari and her parents were caught in the midst of a recent battle. Only she made it out alive."

The woman hesitates again, and this time, she gazes wistfully at Rin.

"You look so much like my daughter," she says, "Kari has yet to come to terms with the loss of her family. I'm the only one left here, but we do have a supportive community."

She points to the strewn of bodies scattered around.

"They are sleeping," the woman continues at the startled look on Rin's face, "But I doubt some would last for very long. A lot of us have been pushed into this end of the town as a way to lend space for passing ninjas."

"I-I cannot believe…" Rin utters.

And she turns away in despondency, a deep feeling of sorrow seeps through as she suddenly assimilates the cruel reality of existence. She cannot change the way people suffer in this contemptible reality. She may be able to relieve their discomfort, but deep within her heart, she knows she will not be around when another disease strikes.

_"Why is the notion of world peace such a thing where everyone is always hoping for, always talking about yet the relentless wars are always so clearly evident? Action speaks louder than words, Rin."_

His words reiterate in her ears, reverberating across her mind and pulsating against the beats of her heart.

Then, she is weeping. Not for him, but for the world.

_Tobi, I really don't understand this world but I want to make it a better place for everyone. I want to stop the endless cycle of war that is fuelling so much suffering…what do I do?_

"One more day with Kari is already a miracle," the woman says, and Rin is met with a warm hand over hers.

Surprisingly, it is her soft smile and the jovial cries of a family reunion that will irrevocably etch itself into her heart.

Because for these two, it is the only happiness they will ever have.


	49. Lines

The heavens have darkened, granting the little diamond specks permission to materialise across an endless stretch of velvet sky. Along with its illuminating counterpart is the light of a remote half-moon, peeking out from amiable looking clouds.

Rin is standing by a waterfall, heavily mesmerised by the soft sound of falling water as she attempts to numb the events of today. Her thoughts have become so disorderly and so unpleasant, she half-wishes she could crawl into her muse and manually shut off all those overactive cells. But there is only so much she can manipulate with chakra.

Averting upwards, she stares to pinpoint the waterfall's origin, but a tuft of cloud fogs her vision a quarter way up, an indicator that the waterfall is immense in height.

And she removes her sandals so her feet can absorb the cool placid waters. She sits atop a rocky surface by the bank, staring out into the exuberant pool of aqua as the sweet gushing sounds fill the empty spaces of her mind.

_I don't belong here. I was supposed to be dead. Remind me why I'm here again?_

_"Your memories,"_  her conscience says.

_Is this the sole reason for my existence?_

But has her reason changed? If she had the opportunity to turn back time, would she refuse her master's deal? Would she give up everything she lived for in the past seventeen years? All her experiments, saving her master's devoted subjects, but more importantly, give up the opportunity to have met Tobi? Those worthwhile moments she had with him, moments of freedom, fondness and devotion, was it worth the heartache and emotional turmoil?

"Is this really what my life has whittled down to? A bunch of old memories and Tobi?" she mutters miserably, and she lets the water bury her calves.

It is a glorious sensation, like the water's mystique is drowning away her sorrows, her thoughts and all the heartache that has been building up inside her for so many long years.

Under the sky's illumination, she notices faint grey-black lines scattered across the surface of her water immersed legs. She has not seen them since the other night they transpired, but as she lifts her legs from the water, it slowly recedes into her skin. It does not return when she plunges her legs into the pool again.

"I knew I'd find you here," says a deep voice.

A moment's pause and her body freezes, her resemblance to a human statue is impeccable. Then she lets out a frightened squeak before jumping guardedly from her sitting position. When the realisation strikes that it is Tobi, she collapses to the ground in relief.

"What are you doing here?," she asks stiffly, and her eyes are narrowing in caution.

He comes to sit beside her, his arm lightly resting on his knee as he gazes at the smooth fall of water.

"Is it not obvious?" He answers lightly.

"How did you find me?"

Her tone is oddly high, as if there is an unconscious air of wariness that is attached to her question. Self-consciously she brings both knees to her chest before wrapping her arms around them.

"I have my sources," he replies evasively, and she shoots him a contemptuous glance before tightening the grip around her body.

"What do you want?" she asks dismissively.

There is a moment's silence as he seemingly contemplates her question.

"For someone who was supposed to aid us in the capture of the three tails, you did a sensational job," he says sarcastically.

"You captured it?" she asks, surprised.

"Yes."

She turns away, a surge of guilt permeating her insides. She wish she did not succumb to desire so easily, the weakness breaks her.

_No, I cannot be here. I will not let him manipulate me. I will not allow these forbidden feelings to resurface!_

Gritting her teeth and forcibly swallowing back the imminent danger that is desire, she stands to leave.

"Where are you going?" Tobi asks without looking at her.

"Away from you," she answers pointedly.

"Sit back down. You're not going anywhere," he says with a sudden low and dangerous tone.

"And if I refuse?"

"I'll kill you," he replies discordantly.


	50. Evasive

"What?" Rin says incredulously, and she is backing tentatively from him.

Tobi does not answer, instead he moves to stand before her, so close that his height intimidates.

"You think I don't know why you're really here?" he whispers dangerously, and he bends down so that his head is levelled with hers.

Feeling suddenly claustrophobic, she shifts away from him, her hands now clammy and skittish from being so high-strung.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she says waveringly.

Although composed, she cannot dismiss the sudden swell of panic that is filling her chest.

_What does he know?_

"I'm talking about Orochimaru's precious spy," he says coldly as Rin instantly pales.

"W-What?"

Her voice falters fearfully, but she forces herself to look straight at him.

"I'll give you two options. You either explain or you die, it is that simple," he says satirically, and this time she can sense the raw anger that is infiltrating his chakra.

Does he really think she would stand there and obediently select from his narrow-minded options? She may appear open and guileless but when it comes to ethics, she will not hesitate to retaliate.

Subduing the meteoric heartbeat that is threatening to explode, she inhales sharply to quell the shaking.

"You'll have to coerce an answer out of me," she says firmly.

"Don't make me force you," he answers threateningly.

Rin is not in the mood to battle, but something tells her that she cannot leave without a fight. And although she is highly adept with elusion, her offensive battle tactics are basic. The weakness does not deter her from the possibility of fighting someone she cares so deeply about, but at this moment, Tobi's seething fury has pushed that emotion to the back of her mind.

She lifts her chin.

"I'm guessing you won't let me leave, so I'll just have to battle my way out," she says indifferently.

"You really think you can take me on?" he sneers, folding his arms across his chest.

She frowns at the patronising remark. She has never seen Tobi in battle before. His evasive skills may surpass her in superiority, but he must have some other weakness she does not know about. Perhaps in offensive techniques?

Unfortunately her prediction is rather off.

Cautiously she approaches, and although basic in her attacks, testing the waters is never a wrong move. As her hand reaches for him, he suddenly sidesteps, so quickly the word of confusion escapes her before she could process its meaning.

"What?"

In that moment, Tobi turns and grasps her arm, bringing her movement to a complete halt before hauling her towards him so that their bodies are inches away from collision.

"You'll need more powers than Orochimaru to defeat me," he says icily, and his fingers dig into her arm.

She winces at the pain and instantly he loosens his hold, though his grip remains firm.

"Hmph. So you just act stupid," she says gruffly.

He ignores her.

"I win," he says softly, and he yanks her down into a sitting position beside him, "Now tell me, why did you not accompany us to capture the three tails?" He continues.

Why?

_Because my heart broke when you chose…_

She cannot even bring herself to think of the reasoning. Pathetic excuse, but it is the cold hard truth and there is not a damn thing she can do about it.

Rin looks away, her face buried in her knees as she exerts all willpower not to shout at him. But her senses are mocking her and she is angry, angry for the recklessness, the selfishness and for drowning herself in her own despair.

She inhales deeply, disgusted at her body's inappropriate reaction to Tobi's close presence. And she shifts several inches from him, bringing her knees closer to her chest in a feeble attempt to conceal all sources of embarrassment.

"I had other things I had to do-" she begins indifferently.

And instantly she is squealing in terror. Tobi launches forward, grabbing both her wrists in a painful grip and leaning in so close, his mask is alarmingly close to her face. Through the eyehole, a blood red eye becomes apparent, momentarily debilitating her with trepidation.

"Don't you lie to me," he says caustically.

The situation is far too much for her weakened mind to handle. She shuts her eyes as an involuntary scream rises to the surface of her throat. She waits and waits but it never escapes. Somehow it took the pleasure of drowning itself in a pool of her own sheer terror. In all the years she has lived, never in her life has she felt so afraid, tormented and  _broken_  than she does now.

She opens her mouth to speak but all that comes out is a pathetic plea.

"Please no."

And she is whispering frantically, her eyes widening in apprehension before a flood of frightened tears obscures her vision. She is afraid, so afraid of that ominous shadow cloaking his demeanour. The foul nostalgia of the ruthless encounter she had with his genjutsu several nights ago resonates sickeningly before her. And she knows its presence, recognise its familiarity. The way it carries itself in a discordant manner, unforgiving to the fragile emotions exhibited before it. And she desperately wants to reach out for Tobi, to bring that gentleness forth, to guide him back to her, but she too is lost in her own emotions.

"You and…" she stumbles on her words.

And then as if it is the most natural thing, her head collapses forward and she begins to weep. Silently, softly and  _pitifully_.

There is a long forlorn silence stretching between them before a shuffling noise followed by an audible sigh breaks the quietude.

The sound does not perturb her, nor does it affect the heated flow of tears now gushing from her eyes.

_Please stop crying, Rin._

But she cannot so she lets it fall, digging her fingers viciously into the hard earth until the pain cuts through and her breath hitches in an attempt to stem the tears.

And she suddenly falls quiet, her mind and body instantaneously braces itself for whatever interrogation that may befall her. But these feelings become a distant thought when she averts her watch to a pair of soft dark eyes gazing at her with increasing sentimentality.


	51. Identity

Soft dark eyes.

It takes Rin several seconds to register that she is staring at a face rather than a creepy mask. And instead of analysing the obvious, that is, his explicit handsomeness, she is too preoccupied with trying to decipher his familiarity.

_Do I know you?_

Under her scrutiny, she surveys the heavy scarring that is so palpable on his right side. It strangely lends him a severe and dangerous look that oddly contrasts with the softness of his unscarred left side.

But then…

Those delicious soft looking lips that encompass an infinite amount of alluring secrecy, she can practically taste him from just staring at them.

Petrified at the sudden thought that Tobi may be capable of reading her mind, she quickly turns away in diffidence, ignoring the more crucial question of his sudden desire to reveal his identity.

He watches her intently as her mind begins to register the fact that she can now read facial emotions from him. Eventually, his expression changes and undeniably, it is something that does not sit well with her…body.

He leans forward, so close that she can feel the heat emanating from him. Then the corners of his mouth curves into a sultry smile as he inclines his head to level his lips with her ear.

"You haven't properly answered my question, Rin," he says softly.

And his words crawl across her skin, leaving a prickly sensation behind.

She inhales deeply. Eyelids lowered in forced composure.

"You seem to make sense of it, so I don't need to repeat myself," she answers waveringly.

She averts her gaze to somewhere in front, concentrating on the fall of water and coercing her mind to lose itself in the enthralling movement.

"I see," he replies fondly, and his eyes suddenly reflect endearment and admiration.

She knows  _who_  he is thinking of.

"You seem to have concluded the answer and I am not denying it. Are you going to leave me be?" She asks coldly.

The scowl on her face catches Tobi's attention, so he uses the opportunity to satirically provoke her.

"Why? Do you really want me to?" He whispers, and he gives her a crooked grin that is so reminiscent of a mischievous child.

She forces her gaze on his, surveying the uneven chakra that is exuding from his eyes. The left is a transplant, and it is watching her with a cold, detached expression, as if the person who once saw through it waded in bloodshed before their demise. But Tobi's original right eye speaks a convoluted mix of emotions. She cannot fathom them, but it is studying her with increasing potency.

"I do," she falters, but her watch remains locked onto his.

And he reads through her contradictory statement, because he lifts her chin so that their eyes deepen in gaze.

"What's wrong?" he asks softly, "Are you jealous?"

She swallows nervously, forcibly suppressing the pleasurable feeling of his touch on her skin.

_Don't do this to me._

"Is-" she starts, but the rest of her sentence dissipates somewhere between her mind and her mouth.

Not that there was a comprehensible sentence to begin with, but nevertheless she is going to feel stupid either way. She lowers her eyelids, awaiting some sort of clever response from him, but he never speaks.

When she averts to him, his dark gaze continues to linger ever so serenely. Then, as if her mind is suddenly in another unseen world, she notices a flicker of livid rage fixed against his intrusive stare. When she blinks, the rancorous emotion is gone, almost a figment of her imagination.

Rin continues to survey him closely, and for the first time since revealing his identity, she can see the true, vulnerable side that is floating and struggling somewhere behind his watch. Her features soften in relief. She has the real Tobi before her - for now.

"Is that what you want?" She answers quietly, and her voice cracks and falters with the broken emotions welling inside her.

Tobi's searching gaze remains on her for several seconds before he lets go. And he remains remarkably composed, as if trying to restrain himself from touching her. But his clenched fists that are now pressing vigorously into the grounds beside him is perhaps the only visible indicator of his agitation.

This time, Rin can sense a surge of vulnerable emotions exuding from him, as if he is fighting to hold back the insurmountable bitterness that is building from within. Her expression eases at this sudden change in demeanour - she is not the only one who is afraid.

Hesitantly Rin reaches for his hand, unsure if she is going to make things worse by touching him. But he seems not to notice, remaining unusually stiff and refusing to look anywhere but straight ahead. And she lets him ruminate before taking his left gloved hand and sliding the rough material off. Instantly he turns to face her, the vacant expression breaks as he automatically,  _tenaciously,_  grips onto her hand.

When she attempts to repeat the action on his other hand, his resistance is evident. For several seconds, he considers her action, but then he turns away before allowing her to continue.

They sit in the quietness for awhile, staring at the fall of water, lost in their own wistful thoughts. And when Rin returns to the present, she suddenly notices Tobi's right hand.

"This is…why do you have the First Hokage's cells?" she asks suspiciously, and he is glancing warily at her.

She knows the Senju cells all too well. Her master has been working on them for as long as she can remember. Curiosity inundates her mind but she does not question Tobi's bizarre nature.

"It's okay," she says lightly, and she brings his left hand to her cheek.

The inviting warmth is instantaneous and she falls back into the alluring yet uncertain realm of desire.

"Rin…"

Tobi's sentence trails off into the coolness of the night. His eyelids lowers to sync with the mesmerising sensation of her touch. And then, he leans in, the exhilarating closeness of his entirety automatically pulls her forward until their lips brush ever so gently. At first, their kiss is soft and gentle, but gradually it becomes feverish, surfeit with heightened ardency when Rin decides to return the kiss with more force and desperation than intended. But she feels his restraint, holding himself steady as he forcibly tries to remain passive.

So she gravitates towards him, feeling his warmth, his fervour pouring onto her as she avidly kisses him with unchanging force. And he gives in with a resigned groan, pressing her forwards until she is pinned to the ground. Still he does not touch her. His body continues to hover hesitantly, but his intimacy takes her into a dangerous realm of heated passion. His incredible proximity frightens her, but nothing compared to the enthralling excitement that is now coursing through her body. Desire is a perilous risk, particularly when she is gambling it away on an enemy she knows nothing about.

As if switched to autopilot, her body arches in to press itself against his upper torso, the sudden explosion of need welling somewhere deep inside her. In the first instance, Tobi's response is subtle, suffused with grace and tenderness as his hand moves to stroke her waist. Then his kisses deepen and his touch becomes more gratifying, placid, and  _palliative_. And she is possessive, holding a hand to the back of his head as she forces the intimacy to intensify.

Desire may occupy her heart and soul but her mind is incredibly wary of Tobi's sudden openness to intimacy. And though her composure remains exceptionally passive, Tobi is always attuned to his surroundings, or perhaps  _her._

He withdraws, a frown of uncertainty crosses his features as he watches the speculative expression on her face. But Rin does not let him analyse its meaning or do anything for the matter. She leans up to kiss him again, afraid that he will break this moment in the midst of their hesitation. And he reciprocates instantaneously, the eagerness palpable when he moves to embrace her. The action gives her a renewal of confidence, bringing out a coveted feeling of audaciousness from somewhere within. Timidly, she lets her tongue slide into his mouth, lightly tasting his sweetness and exploring the mysterious interior. And as she halts in demure, he takes control, brushing his lips back and forth before synchronising his movement with hers.

Momentarily lost in the enrapturing pleasure, she does not realise that Tobi has moved to rest his hand on her abdomen, slowly venturing upwards as he lightly traces the outline of her breast. His touch clouds her mind and saturates her body with insatiable fervor. Without a trace of hesitation, he surreptitiously runs his hand underneath her blouse, making very slow circular movements on her lower abdomen before resuming his journey upwards. The erotic action is startling, yet welcoming. And the unaccustomed feelings of excitement rises as the lingering warmth of his touch becomes tangible against her skin.

But her soft sighs abruptly ends the intimacy, as if the sound has shaken Tobi from a deep reverie. He breaks from her, his expression blank but his eyes teem with a brigade of resentful emotions.

Rin surveys him uncertainly, allowing the hint of lingering animosity to hover silently between them. She is acutely aware of the impending disappointment that is welling inside, but she forces herself to dismiss the painful circumstance of his actions.

When she next tries to catch his gaze, his eyes are bizarrely glassy, motionless. His expression is disconcertingly lifeless, as if he is trying to remain indifferent whilst fighting back some other more austere emotions

"Tobi?" she says, and her voice is small and unsteady.

The glazed expression shatters and Tobi interlinks his gaze with hers.

"I need to take you back to the inn or you'll catch a cold," he says.

She disregards his statement in a fit of short angry breaths. The hostility is flagrant across her face, and if there is one thing she hates more than his evasive behaviour, it is the impassivity towards their intimacy.

"Tobi, why are you doing this?" she says quietly, as the fury in her voice hovers close.

"There is no way you're allowed to get sick," he says softly.

_No! Don't you lie to me!_

He does not give her time to speak. He grips her hand and then her entire world distorts and blurs before her eyes.


	52. Expect

The liquifying sensation dissipates in a distorted motion before her body reassembles itself into solid reality. Without waiting for her, Tobi continues ahead, his watch transfixed on a wooden inn that is strongly reminiscent of a palace. Although immense in its size, the structural focus resides in its facilities and services. Regardless, the still atmosphere of the inn's secluded location is a worthwhile tradeoff for its lack of rooms.

Rin continues to gaze warily in Tobi's direction, uncertain if she should say something to bridge the uncomfortable tension between them. But the disappointment still sits heavy so she quickly catches his strides, her hand reaching for his arm so that he halts in his tracks.

"Why are you doing this?" she asks.

He does not answer.

"Please speak to me," she continues firmly.

For a fleeting moment, his expression turns blank, vacant, but it is then replaced by a convoy of rancorous emotions that are perhaps suppressed rather than newly accrued.

He remains quiet for several moments before adjusting his mask and striding towards the inn entrance. And Rin follows, entering a seemingly deserted lobby that smells strongly of incense intermixed with the pungent stench of alcohol. She did not expect such an offensive greeting from the beauty it exuded on the outside.

Tobi continues, completely unaware of the hurt and anger that is now transpiring across Rin's face. But she keeps telling herself that his current actions have nothing to do with the intimacy they shared earlier.

_Stop making excuses for him!_

She suddenly stiffens at the thought. Is she really making excuses? Did he not reciprocate his feelings for Deidara?

She inhales deep to stifle the disconcerting thoughts from her mind.

A plump woman sits at the front counter, watching their approach with an incredibly artificial smile on her face.

"Good evening," she says politely, "Yes, I remember," she continues, and she hands them both two sets of keys.

Rin glances uncertainly at Tobi, scepticism and confusion harrowing her mind.

_It's like she expected me._

Does that mean Tobi knew he would win her over and bring her back here?

She shakes the thought, vigorously trying to suppress the urge to overanalyse things.

"Where is Deidara?" Rin asks.

"It needs to be sealed at the right location. He is taking it there," Tobi answers quietly, and she knows he is referring to the three tails.

"Won't you need to be there for the sealing-"

"I will when it is ready," he interjects brusquely, and there is a dismissing feel to his tone.

They ascend the stairs in silence, their rooms finally diverging in opposite directions on the fifth floor.

Are they just going to go their separate ways now?

Timidly, Rin stares at the ground, shifting nervously on the spot as her mind races to determine what she should do next.

_Say something!_

"Tobi-"

"Goodnight," he interrupts quietly, and there is a deliberate sharpness to his voice as he cuts her off.

Then, he is striding in the opposite direction, leaving a bewildered Rin behind.


	53. Apology

The hurt and disappointment continues to linger uncomfortably from the recess of her stomach. Confused at tonight's sudden turn of events, she stares blankly at the outside world, her watch tracking the fall of leaves as it rides the winds and journeys across the skies.

_He kissed me and then he walked away. Am I someone who is impressionable enough for him to target?_

Her fingers dig deep into the softness of cool sheets, angry at her naivety and her inability to suppress the self-indulging danger that is desire. As if syncing with her thoughts, the night suddenly turns cold and ugly. The wind picks up, the leaves rustle and the rain pours with gradual hostility. She stares into the heinous elements, a perfect mimic of the convoluted emotion that is plaguing her mind.

_Am I doing something wrong? Why does he open himself up and then push me away?_

The thoughts saturate her mind, rhythmically replaying over and over in a vicious cycle with no concrete answer. Only when she cannot close her mind that she decides to subdue her muses by force. And that involves inserting chakra strings into her head and closing off all thought processing circuits. It is not a pragmatic way to do things. The permanent microscopic damage it does to the brain overtime means she has to ensure its use is reserved only for exceptional circumstances.

Rin has spent years developing this special technique as a way to alleviate the mental anguish of her master's experimental subjects. Their ruthless subjection to the horrid experiments, whereby most come out perpetually insane, is something that would stay with her forever.

Though she would not count her current situation as exceptional, the agonising heartache is perhaps too much for her to handle. The last time she resorted to utilising this technique on herself was the time she could not save the hundreds of deaths enacted upon by a new experiment her master was testing. The bodies were so badly damaged, she had no hope of saving them.

Now she is witnessing a new kind of pain. The despondency is so great, it is like a physical weight that is sitting heavily against her chest. And so desperately, she begins the jutsu, only to be interrupted by a soft knocking sound on her door.

_Who would be visiting at a time like this?_

She frowns sceptically.

Perhaps the innkeeper needs something.

And she cautiously approaches, opening the door several inches to peer in between the gaps. Initially, she does not see anyone, but as she widens the opening, Tobi's outline appears before her. Immediately, her hand clenches tenaciously on the door handle, as if his presence evokes some sort of automatic tension within her.

Without speaking, she turns away from him, leaving the door ajar as a silent indicator that he is invited in, albeit very reluctantly. His presence leaves an uneasy sensation, but a very small part of her can feel the apprehensive desire lingering on the surface of her skin.

Conscious of her nightdress and the moon's bright illumination that is drifting in and out behind dark heavy clouds, she moves to drape the bedsheets around her.

"What do you want this time?" she says warily.

Tobi watches her carefully through those dark deceptive eyes. He seems to have gotten into the pattern of remaining maskless in only her presence, albeit, she has not fully acquainted herself with his identity. His features confuse her, as if he is carrying a sinister darkness alongside the very contradictory kind-hearted spirit that is his personality. And it is the physical manifestation of these personalities, etched itself in the form of harsh scars and its contrasting unmarred left side, that puzzles her.

"You left something behind," he answers softly, and he hands her a familiar looking box.

"My medical kit," she says surprisingly, and she takes it from his grip with too much possessiveness. "Where did you find this?" she adds quickly.

"You left it by the waterfall," he replies nonchalantly.

By the waterfall? What was he doing back at the waterfall?

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he answers briskly, and his gaze meets hers in an intensive stare.

And he averts his watch from her, as if her presence is evoking some sort of consternation within him. He lets the silence sit for several seconds before speaking in an odd but anxious manner.

"I also owe you an apology," he says quietly.

He does not look at her as he speaks.

Rin frowns in bemusement. This must be the reason why he is here.

"For what?"

His watch returns to her and it is in that brief moment, she can see,  _feel_ , the bitter anguish.

"For the way that you are feeling," he says, and his voice is barely audible.

She surveys him closely, uncertain of his sudden need to apologise. Perhaps she is being cynical, detached even, but she is incredibly wary, fearful she may lose what is left of her. Only Tobi is capable of eliciting such heartless acts, but because her desire for him runs deep, she will unconsciously submit to his wants if she steps too close. The only form of emotional protection she has from him is her judicious mind. But her heart is strong, and she needs to bypass its irrationality before she can assume safe grounds.

"No matter," she answers ruefully.

For a split second, it appears as if he is going to do something but then he turns to leave instead.

"I'll let you have your rest, goodnight," he says quietly.

And Rin sees it. The odd way he is holding his left arm as he turns for the door.

"One moment," she says, and she slides off the bed to stand behind him, "What's wrong with your arm?"

He halts, turning his head sideways to gaze at her from the corner of his eye.

"Nothing of concern," he answers airily.

She breathes deep to quell the agitation.

"Please don't hide your injuries from me, you know I am always watching you," she says softly, and her hand reaches for his arm in a firm grip.

"Rin-"

But he cuts himself off at the disapproving look on her face.

"Sit down I'll fix it up and you can do what you need to do," she says.

Wordlessly, she gestures for him to sit on the bed, at which he gazes speculatively at her for several seconds before complying.

Without speaking, she slides the left sleeve of his cloak from his shoulder to reveal a bloody gash on his upper arm. It is deep, yet deceptively shallow to the untrained eye. The inner sleeve is viciously torn at the site of injury, and there is a continuous flow of blood seeping inconspicuously into the dark fabric.

She does not question the injury. At first thought, the three tails came to mind, but the wound is at least several days old, albeit not healing properly as it should.

"The Senju cells are staving off any opportunistic infection but just because you have these cells, it does not mean you should rely on it to resolve all your injuries," Rin says, and her tone comes across colder than she would have liked.

Tobi glances wearily at her, but he does not speak. His watch surveys her gentle, yet intricate stitching, only breaking when she does the finishing touches to his dressing.

"The bandages need to be changed every day, or it will never heal. This is not an ordinary wound," she says earnestly, and she glances uncertainly at him, "but you would know that, wouldn't you?" she finishes quietly.

"I do now," he whispers, and the intensive gaze he gives her is evident of an underlying ulterior motive she cannot comprehend.

She briskly turns from him in diffidence.

"Well, I am done now," she mumbles.

"Are you?" He replies mildly.

And it startles her, because there is a longing component to his tone that she cannot seem to disregard.

When she turns to face him, he is already leaning close, the nostalgia of his proximity hitting hard. Taken aback by the sudden memories, she shifts uncomfortably in the opposite direction, her gaze focused on the silky threadings of her nightdress. Tobi does not react, but she can feel his heated watch tunnelling its way through her thoughts.

"Your chakra is low," Tobi says.

She faces him again, the questioning look embedded in his gaze is a sure factor that he is revisiting her abrupt departure from their three tailed mission.

"It'll regenerate," she says, and the brief inquisitive look he gives her signifies his dissatisfaction with her response.

"It is only ever this low when you are healing someone on the verge of death," he says softly.

The element of questioning in his tone is blatant, almost as if he would continually persist if she does not provide a satisfactory explanation.

"That is true, I won't deny anything," she replies.

He remains quiet until she decides to continue with her robotic exposition.

"It was something I needed to do-"

And her voice suddenly trembles. The memory of war, poverty and broken families invade her mind, replaying the contents over and over until she abruptly stops mid-sentence. Still, Tobi remains quiet, perhaps unusually still, but his gaze continues to linger on her.

"I-I saw war," she falters.

Her explanation of feelings end there. Tobi gives her a look of understanding, as if he is truly comprehending her meaning of the word 'war,' and its metaphorical use that encompasses suffering.

"It'll come back though. Whether it be the illness or something else. I won't be there to help again," Rin continues feebly.

"Extra time can be a miracle," Tobi eventually says.

Bewildered, she averts to him, her eyes wide with hurt and sentimentality.

"In a world of darkness, a single ray of light is all that is needed," he continues softly.

His expression turns meek and wistful as he reaches for her shoulder, unaware of its anticipatory impact as her body suddenly moves in his direction. She welcomes his touch, no matter how much her mind is protesting against the imminent danger.

"Was that a hidden meaning?" She asks ruefully.

But Tobi only smiles. He leans forward to press his forehead against hers before running his lips against the delicate surface of her jawline. And still he avoids the sweet brim of her bottom lip, angling his face so his touch sweeps the plane of her chin to the other side of her jaw.

Desperately, the very core of her rationality forces its way through, but the insatiable need to feel his touch is so incredibly overpowering, it never makes it to her conscious.

And perhaps the rationality has reshaped itself into a convoy of discomfiting emotions, but it becomes transparent across her features for the briefest of moments. Tobi is astute and he may have taken that for impatience. He finally skims the planes of her lips, the kiss mellow, yet passionate. And she responds with equal fervour, the sighs of longing, need and perhaps confusion passively fuelling the space between them.

Although a large portion of her rationality is no longer palpable, there is a small part of her that provides some level of protective mechanism against irrationality. She calls this pride, and it pulls her so swiftly from Tobi, he stares at her with one long puzzled expression.

For what seems like eternity, the pervasive silence continues to harrow the surrounding atmosphere. Then Tobi stands to readjust his cloak before he speaks.

"I think I'll let you rest now."


	54. Willpower

Tobi's comment makes her flinch, as if they are cutting through her body in a fit of spite. Her withdrawing action was automatic, a part of her afraid that he may simply walk away if she lets this continue. But there is an enormous gaping need inside that he alone can only fill, even if for a transient moment. And this is what her heart so desperately needs, it forces her to disregard the risks that comes with desire, with _Tobi_.

Rin briskly stands, completely unaware that his eyes are flickering tentatively across her body, raking in every inch of her very revealing nightdress.

“I won’t need it,” she whispers, and she tilts her head to kiss him.

His response is abysmally minimal, as if he did not anticipate her sudden change in reaction. 

And she presses against him, her body leaning in heavily so that he shifts backwards several steps before hitting the wall.

Still he is unresponsive so she lightens her kisses, switching from deep and urgent to soft and affectionate. Eventually he responds, body first with eager subtlety and impassiveness to gradual zeal and vigour.

Saturated in feverish excitement, his kisses become discomfiting, intense yet highly aggressive.  In response, Rin matches him in equal vehemence, as if she is desperately trying to satisfy the insatiable appetite of feeling his body against hers, or gaining the reassurance that she will always have access to him.

At the forefront of her mind is the undying need to feel his warmth. Her hand slides blindly down the centre of his cloak, undoing every button as she goes until she can finally run her hands freely against him without hindrance.

And the comforting security he exudes is so enticing, she allows her entire body to glide against the explicit raised surfaces of well-formed muscles. As if attuned to her physical needs, Tobi’s response is instantaneous. Their kiss intensifies as he embraces her, his arms pressed so tightly, her body is literally pinned against him. But the extreme proximity allows her to explore a new world of physical desire. She has never been this close to someone before, yet the passion that is radiating between them is familiar and perhaps sentimental. So she relishes in the physical comfort of such intense intimacy, tuning her mind and body into feeling everything from Tobi’s heartbeat to the very solid length of his arousal. 

Her propinquity becomes somewhat of a stimulant to his responses. Impatiently, his hands move to gather her nightdress, hitching it against her waist on either side so that the softness of her middle is pressing and sliding against his hardness. The partial groan that escapes him is slightly muffled against her lips, but it seems the rest have translated into the painful grip that is now digging into her waist. 

Rin does not react to such affliction. The intensive surge of pleasure welling somewhere deep within has become some sort of barrier to the pain. And Tobi is so heavily entranced in the intimacy, she finds it incredibly bizarre that someone like him could revel in the pleasure of her company. But perhaps she is insecure or uncertain as to what she is doing. The feelings that are surging through is so unlike anything she has ever experienced. It is almost like an enormous bubble of happiness that is infinitely expanding.

Tobi does not allow her thoughts to wander too far. He keeps her mind preoccupied on him, never allowing her wavering thoughts to transpire in the midst of hesitancy. 

Without breaking their kiss, he lifts her and carries her several feet to the writing desk so that she is sitting and her head is almost levelled with his. And he moves to stand in between her, the sudden proximity a cue that he is slowly relenting to the increasing level of intimacy. Entwining her legs around him, she allows the kiss to deepen. The soft whimper that escapes her does nothing to quell the intensity of his kiss, but it is dispersing his hands in other directions. 

When they break, his head averts to her neck, running his lips gently down its side as he finally stops to linger on a sensitive spot that makes her whimper every time he presses against it at different angles. 

But his left hand is where she feels the radiating heat of his skin. Perhaps it is the one where he can sense connection, but he favours it, and he uses it to explore her most untouched parts. The multitude of sensations that simultaneously react is something Rin has yet to comprehend.  And as his mouth moves towards the delicate area of her collarbone, his fingers brushes the voluptuous curves of her breast before vehemently enclosing it within his palm.

Then his gaze moves to her face, eagerly watching her enticing expression as he slowly peruses her body with his hand, shaping and reshaping the soft and sensuous fullness of her right breast. Perhaps it is the dress's material sliding against her skin or the very hardened peak that is pressing against the surface of his palm, but by gracious, what an incredible feeling.

“Do you like that?” he whispers, and he presses her nipple between his thumb and index finger.

She tries to subdue the sigh of gratification but it is virtually impossible. Instead, she bites her lip, fighting back the ferocious feelings of pleasure whilst only permitting a short gasp to escape.

Tobi stares at her in bemusement, as if he is unsure. But then he seems to have read her mind because a salacious grin hovers ever so subtly on his lips. Only when Rin returns her watch with equal intensity, that he abruptly moves his hand to her shoulder. The loose strap of her nightdress has become anything but an impediment to his approaching action. He slides it from her, ever so delicately brushing the side of her arm as it falls past. And he continues to let it drop until every inch of her breast is revealed before him.

He breaks the uncertainty in her gaze with a slow, tender kiss before enclosing the softness of warm flesh in his hand. Then, he leans in again so that she is hovering back on an angle. The resulting action is a fiery response of a deepened kiss that ends at the hardened peak of her breast. And he takes it ravishingly, enclosing his mouth around in a tight grip as his tongue moves to lightly stroke the sweet sensitive spot at its very tip. 

The emotions and the impressions run deep, unfathomable and oddly apprehensive. She slides her hand through his hair, pressing him against the smoothness of her skin and revelling in the gratifying pleasure of his actions. 

Her sighs and gasps are intermittent, every molecule of oxygen used frugally. Tobi releases her, his repeating action on her other side continues to fuel the climatic indulgence that is building somewhere in her middle. And when he withdraws from her, his hand moves to repose on her inner thigh. For a fleeting moment, his pupils dilate in the light of a brilliant moon, his expression insinuating lust and something that looks disconcertingly like _menace_. And her watch matches his in its intensity, albeit fear and confusion is flagrant, sceptical of what he has been holding back all this time.

But his austere expression suddenly vanishes, replaced by a soften look of tenderness and desire.  Eventually, the hand on her thigh begins to move, light, gentle strokes up and down before moving pass her upper thigh and underneath her nightdress. And her breath hitches. The muscles on her lower half tenses in apprehension as she looks to him. Slowly his eyes turn, tracking her from its deepened depths as his hand continues forward.

“W-What are you doing?” she breathes waveringly.

“Showing you what you’ve been missing out on,” he answers softly, and he leans down to give her another drugging kiss.

When her body automatically slackens, Tobi withdraws and takes the advantage to slide his hand into her undergarment. His fingers run the length of her inviting warmth, sliding through the soft curls and gently stroking the surrounding folds of warm sensitive skin in an enticing rhythm.

“I-“ she starts.

And she bites her lower lip in an attempt to assimilate the unfamiliar sensation.

Goodness, she has never been touched there before, let alone so… _intimately_.

Then, the inexplicable surge of pleasure intensifies, and she is restlessly shifting in agitation to subdue the ache. Tobi smiles at her response, his eyes lowering in contentment as he leans in to whisper in her ear.

"So wet."

_What…what…did he just say?_

Instantly, she grips his arm, startled when his finger finds its way into her. The feeling is strange yet exhilarating, but she cannot fully put into words to justify this anomalous sensation.

Her body has gone unusually stiff and it is only when Tobi turns to her that she kind of slackens under his intrusive stare. There is a moment’s hesitation where he gives her a puzzled expression, as if he is trying to figure out her thoughts. But his emotions suddenly turns unreadable. Perhaps it is because he is revelling in the pleasures of watching her gratifying expression or hearing her uncontainable soft moans as his finger slides in and out of her. 

“Oh.”

The barely audible word escapes when he next fills her with two fingers. Tobi is testing the waters, she knows, and when  her body adapts to the alien feeling of satisfaction, his intuitive astuteness becomes increasingly apparent. At the next move, his thumb reaches the sensitive peak, gently stroking back and forth and manipulating the surrounding delicate skin as his fingers continue to move in and out of her.

And the sensation is almost unbearable, to the point where her gasp is audible and highly mortifying. 

As he takes her to her climax, she lets out a long sigh of release, breathing hard and collapsing against him as oxygen rapidly occupies her lungs and infiltrates her clouded mind. The feeling is remarkably foreign, and as it dissipates, a newly accrued feeling of need overwhelms her. 

Wearily, she glances at Tobi, who is still gazing at her with a brigade of unidentifiable emotions. But instinctively, she knows what she wants. Her hand reaches for his and she pulls him close, until she is kissing him again like there was no hesitation between their intimacy. 

When he breaks to embrace her, his eyes lingers ever so briefly on her shoulder. She tracks his watch just in time to see the very faint black-grey lines receding swiftly into her skin. But she does not let him contemplate. She kisses him again, this time with more potency and passion. He is incredibly responsive, the need stark in his actions. So she takes it as a sign to continue, her hands running the length of his torso and resting on the edge of his trousers. Blindly, she continues down, until she is brushing the length of his hardness and the stifled groan of satisfaction escapes him. But as she proceeds further, Tobi suddenly grips both her wrists to abruptly break the intimacy.

“No,” he breathes quickly, “I won’t be able to stop if we continue.”

“Then don’t stop,” she whispers lightly, and her mouth collides with his again.

And their kiss is deep and feverish, the insurmountable emotions that are exchanged between them is perhaps something that cannot be measured. But despite being in the midst of such heated intimacy, Tobi somehow manages to summon the willpower to abruptly pull away, releasing her so suddenly she startles in bewilderment.

“What…”

“I can’t,” he says brokenly, and he is anxiously buttoning up his cloak.

“Why? I want to make you feel good too.”

“No. I overstayed.”

Rin scowls contemptuously, her eyes narrowing in anger as she registers where this conversation is leading.

“Don’t start this,” she says coldly, and she is forcibly containing the impending fury.

“You need to rest-“ 

“No! You will not do this to me again!” she cries angrily.

Even with a small amount of light shining through the bedroom window, she can see his very forced composure.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, and he turns away from her.

“Was this a mistake to you?” She says waveringly.

Her arms move to hug herself protectively, as if his actions and his words are maiming her. 

He does not speak, so she lets the brief silence sit before speaking.

“Why are you doing this?” she asks hurtfully.

He does not answer immediately, but when he does, it is full of bitter discontentment.

“I can’t do this to you.”

“Why? Please tell me!”

“I don’t think it matters, as long as you maintain your dignity,” he answers vaguely.

Dignity? What dignity? She lost it to him a long time ago.

“What on earth are you talking about?” she asks incredulously, and there is this sudden dangerous urge to shake sense into him.

“Why do you walk away every single time we’re-” she cuts herself off, confused and uncertain as to how he may react to what she is truly feeling.

Instead, she invests all willpower to suppress another bout of furious tears tunnelling their way out.

“Why do you walk away?” she continues wearily, and her voice is barely above a whisper.

“You think it’s easy for me to walk away?” he answers critically.

He turns to face her, his eyes narrowing dangerously as his expression darkens in agonising resentment.

“Is that your reasoning for the way you used to behave around me? You couldn’t walk away and so your hostility towards me was the only way to stop yourself?”

Does that mean he battled against _desire_ by using _hostility_?

“Yes,” he answers forcibly after a fleeting silence.

“Then why, why don’t you just keep up the hostile act and stay away from me? I’d probably give up trying!”

“No, it’s not like I didn’t want to, it’s because I couldn’t.”

“I don’t understand-”

“Dammit Rin! Do you realise how hard it was for me to force my hostility onto you? How do you think I felt doing something like that just so I could stay away from you-”

He cuts himself off, anger, frustration and resentment etching deeper into his face as he runs a hand through his hair in exasperation.

For a fleeting moment, she gets the strange impression that he knows something she doesn’t. In truth, his mysteriousness seems to amplify ten folds and she feels the more she gets to know him, the less she knows about him.

“Why would you want to stay away when we both share the same feelings?” she asks quietly.

Being shrouded from the truth and barred from understanding his complex reasoning is what truly baffles her.

Her comment makes him flinch uneasily, as if he is afraid she was going to ask the one thing he is reluctant to answer.

When he does not respond, she approaches him, sliding her arms around his waist and resting her cheek against his back.

“Please don’t make me do this, I’ve already hurt you enough,” he says ruefully and his hands are clenching exasperatedly by his sides.

_You’re going to hurt me even more if you leave, what don’t you understand?_

She breaks from him, pulling him around to face her.

“You don’t understand do you?” she asks softly.

“I do and I regret what I did but that won’t change how I made you feel,” he answers bitterly.

Rin takes his hand, pressing her cheeks against his palm in an attempt to quell the growing emotional distance between them. 

“I know you want this too. Why are you running away from something that we both know will help us survive through this reality?” she whispers.

And she is guiding his hand down the length of her torso, his warmth composing the hurt that has been welling so deep inside her.

Tobi's expression transitions between uncertainty and scepticism, as if he is contemplating on his next course of action. Eventually, his searching gaze becomes wistful, so Rin leans in and presses her lips to his, vehemently tasting the familiar sweetness.

But Tobi is volatile and unreadable. Unexpectedly he pulls away from her, his eyes brimming with fear and resentment.

“I’m sorry, Rin,” he mumbles despairingly, and he is prying himself from her.

“Don’t do this to me,” she says frantically.

“I can’t hurt you-“

“You’re hurting me if you walk away!” She cries.

Perhaps it is the devastation in her tone, but Tobi suddenly turns from her as if the comment frightens him. When she covers the distance between them, he automatically backs away until he hits the wall. The flagrant display of aggrieved emotions across his face continues to fuel the desperate desire to hold onto him. And she knows it is not her that he is afraid of, but something else he is refusing to disclose.

“I can’t,” he says shakily, and he suddenly pushes her aside to access the only way out.

“Wait, where are you going?” she breathes tearfully.

“I need to leave.”

And the fury sweeps through, drowning out the hurt and agony that has been plaguing her mind.

“Don’t! Not after what you’ve done,” she says angrily, and she grips his arm with more force than necessary.

But he wrenches from her grasp, reaching for the door with evident avidness in every movement.

He ignores her despairing grief, the stark anger and the words she spoke that so palpably made him wince in discomfort. 

“That’s right! Do what you do best, walk away!” she cries to his disappearing outline.

This time she does not subdue the emotions, the thoughts or the tears as her body languidly drops to the ground in discontentment. 

She was so sure, so confident that he would stay, but this is Tobi and one thing is for certain, he really knows how to break her.


	55. Clearer

It is the same flower field she always sees. Quiet, placid and alluringly peaceful. Perhaps it is the sound of chirping birds, or the silent flutter of colourful butterflies, or simply the rays of golden sunshine, but there is an enigmatic aura that is glowing and exuding from it.

Atop the hilly flower field sits a giant oddly shaped boulder that is surrounded by other ancient rock formations.

Rin's umpteenth visit to this field is becoming  _clearer,_ unmarred by odd blurs and other vision impairing obstructers.

Beside her stands two boys her age, one she recognises in all her dreams, his dark hair and trademark goggles stark against the brightness of their surroundings. He is grinning wide, as if he too is trying to assimilate the beauty of this place.

The other boy, silver haired, guarded and cynical, is staring ahead with not a trace of readable expression on his face.

And she is smiling broadly, taking their hands and leading them uphill to the giant rock she is always so curious about.  
Then comes the distortion and her world spins in a blur of colours. Tenaciously, she grips onto the boys' hands, forcing herself to endure the sharp pain that is now searing uncontrollably against her left chest.

_If I let go, I'll lose everything._

She is standing in the same dark dungeon, her right hand empty of her dark haired friend.

"Rin. Kakashi. Are you okay?"

The voice is faint, weak and barely audible. But she hears it loud and clear within the depths of her mind. As she turns towards the source of the sound, the silver-haired boy suddenly disappears from side.

Now it is only her and the dark haired-boy, who is lying feebly on the ground with a million fragments of broken rocks surrounding him. The sight chills her to the core and mimics the icy beats of her empty heart. For the first time ever, she feels a heavy saturation of loneliness, but it is not resonating within her, rather an external emotion she can physically sense from somewhere close.

Approaching her friend, she calls his name, hoping to bring words of comfort and reassurance, but her voice is strangely muted and she can no longer hear anything from her surroundings. And she sits beside him, taking his hand and watching in galvanising terror as the blood drains his face and his eyes become vacant and motionless.

But he is smiling at her, as if he does not comprehend his current state and that he and Rin are on different pages of a book.

"Rin! We must go!"

The sudden sound shakes her. The silver-haired boy is watching her with a frantic expression, as if the impending danger would spell the end of all three if she does not react.

_We can't leave him!_

"But-" she starts.

"It's okay, Rin. Just go. You need to get out of here alive," the dark haired boy says.

"Grab onto my hand, Rin!" the silver haired boy cries.

Before she can reply, she is being hoisted out of the dungeon by an invisible force.

And the pain starts and it does not stop. It wakes her in a puddle of cold sweat and a frighteningly confusing mindset. Her head is spinning, a severe feeling of weakness overwhelms as reality slips away from her.

Fading in. Fading out. On and on it goes until it finally stops suddenly.

"Kakashi," she whispers.

And a flood of blurred vision intrudes. Like a video played on fast forward, the images flashing before her eyes, so fast she can barely recognise them. But it eventually slows and she sees an unrecognisable village, the large faces of three people carved onto a giant mountainside. And there is a blonde man who is fixating his gaze somewhere in the distance.

_I feel as if I know this but I cannot seem to connect the dots._

She forces her mind to remember her dream. Kakashi, her teammate, the blonde man, her sensei. But from where? Who is the dark haired boy?

_I can't, this is hurting me._

She is being literal. The more she forces herself to recall, the weaker she feels.

_The clearer these dreams, the weaker I get. What is going on?_

Quickly, she fumbles towards the bathroom, horrified to see the very  _stark_  black-grey lines on her body. It has darkened considerably, as if etched deeply into her skin and only very slowly receding.

"What is happening to me?" she murmurs.


	56. Acquaintance

"Your fellow guest, Tobi, has asked me to pass the message on to you," the innkeeper repeats.

His tone indicates a fragmented level of irritation behind the very composed, very artificial smile he is giving her.

"Wait for instructions. That was all? Nothing else?" Rin pushes, and she is frowning in frustration.

"Yes. I am sorry but that is all the detail he has given me. My apologies but I need to attend to the next guest."

And with that, he ambles back to his desk where a very long line of tired looking guests are awaiting service.

Exasperated, Rin stalks to the outside skies, furious at Tobi for leaving her with minimal information. Her patience wears thin these days and she is wondering whether Deidara's presence has been rubbing off on her.

For most of the day, she is seeking out places to replenish her medical supplies, something she is glad that takes up her time, and more importantly her concentration. She has not forgotten the events of last night, the tiniest thought igniting a string of emotional pain that swirls unsteadily all over before residing heavily against her chest.

And though she keeps occupied with her errands, she cannot help but feel a strong sense of rejection. Perhaps she feels unappreciated for her efforts in this very one-sided relationship. However she may feel, it is probably a better idea to let him go.

x

"Rin?"

The voice is familiar, friendly and  _warm_. As if she is gravitating towards a much needed source of comfort, her gaze averts to the newcomer, his salt and pepper hair distinct against the beaming sunlight.

"Akihiro!"

"Wow! You remember my name," he says brightly, and he gives her a grin that heats the very cold emptiness residing inside her.

And he is looking well, perhaps with the colour of life in his face and the liveliness he is exuding, Akihiro looks breathtakingly handsome.

"Of course, I remember everyone I treat, like acquaintances," she answers, "Are you here with your siblings?"

"Yes, we travel as a team," Akihiro replies, and Rin gets the sudden feeling that he may be a ninja, albeit, he is not dressed as one.

"I see, I hope I'm not keeping you," she says sheepishly.

Akihiro looks taken aback.

"You're never, ever keeping me back," he reassures, "So where are your teammates?" He continues, and his watch briefly flickers to their surroundings.

"They have things they need to do."

Akihiro does not pursue the subject, but he is surveying her with an almost sceptical frown.

"Are you staying nearby?"

She tells him of the palace like inn, and Akihiro grins in surprise.

"So are we, what a coincidence."

The revelation elevates her despondent mood, pushing the unease of uncertainty and the prior troubling events from her mind.

They sit and speak for a long time, until the apparition of afternoon sun glares into their deep conversation and Akihiro frowns in reluctance as he apologises for leaving her. But Rin is secretly glad for his departure, she is afraid his presence may evoke a new feeling she is already unfamiliar with.

Akihiro lets the comforting silence fill the space before speaking.

"You know, if you are not already aware, the inn has a celebratory dinner tonight for its one hundredth birthday. I'd like it if you could come with me, and only if it is convenient for you. I mean, I still like to repay you for saving my life."

His mannerism is impressively collected, as if he has rehearsed the same sentence over and over. But she knows this is far from the truth. There is a confident and genuine edge to his voice, as if his invitation is the most natural thing. And Rin looks to him in bemusement, the very soft pink tinge only settling her cheeks seconds after she has properly processed his comment.

"Yes, that would be nice," she replies shyly, and for the first time today, the hollow feelings she has been shouldering slowly lifts.

Akihiro smiles at her, and she has to turn away in demure. She has never come across anyone so incredibly attractive before.

"Sometimes it is good to let things go, even if for a transient moment," Akihiro says, and he is watching her as if he is speaking to the sorrow that has latched itself to her soul.

She gazes sentimentally at him for several moments before allowing herself to smile in agreement.

He sits with her for awhile longer, his presence providing her with a renewal of confidence and enjoyment she has not felt in awhile. And when he does need to leave, she reluctantly parts from him, albeit a more pressing matter overrides her muse.

_What do I wear tonight?_

The troubling thought lingers, as if this insignificant matter has become the most significant matter.

x

"I'm not so sure about this," Rin says uncertainly.

Her tone is muffled from behind closed curtains, but the shopkeeper is so attuned, she hears every single utterance.

"Just come on out and let me see. The mirror is quite big out here so you will get a better idea."

The shopkeeper is insistent and Rin has this frustrating tendency to ignore unease.

Timidly, she steps out from the change rooms, her arms covering the plunging V of the dress's neckline as if she is afraid it may fall to the ground. The only time she has worn anything so revealing is her night dress, but that is meant in sole reserve for her and her bed.

_"And Tobi…accidentally," her conscience interrupts_

She stiffens at the thought, as if Tobi's name brings back a wave of austere emotions she has been working to hold back all day.

"It looks incredible on you!" The shopkeeper exclaims.

"I wouldn't know where else to wear this to," Rin says tentatively.

"You're a kunoichi are you not?" The shopkeeper asks.

Rin nods.

"We do rental services as well, but only on certain items. This dress is one of them, but you are welcome to look at what other rental items we have."

The rental idea is good for her, but unfortunately, she cannot find another item that suits her as well as the dress she has on. And though she must agree with the shopkeeper's thoughts on the dress's beauty, she self-consciously does not want to openly admit it.

_I'd wear this around my room by myself._

"That colour also suits you," the shopkeeper adds, and she makes Rin stand in front of the mirror in a different lighting.

The lilac and grey stands out well against her pale skin, and perhaps the soft fabric of the dress is reinforcing its allure.

"What are you self-conscious of?" The shopkeeper continues.

She has been watching Rin curiously, her watch flicking back and forth between the dress and Rin's arms across her chest.

"Right, I see," she says slowly, and she moves to pry her hands away from the dress, "Come on, you need to love yourself a bit more."

Hesitantly, Rin lets the shopkeeper direct her movements, until her arms are hanging tensely by her side and she is staring at herself in the mirror.

"Answer my question truthfully with a yes or no only," the shopkeeper says, "Do you like this dress on you?"

Rin glances nervously in her direction. The question is difficult. Secretly she loves it on her, though the worthiness to parade it in public is something she feels she does not deserve.

And the shopkeeper seemingly reads her thoughts, because she suddenly speaks in a soften manner.

"Rin, do you like it on you?"

And Rin nods ever so slowly.

"Take a look at this," the shopkeeper says, and she is pointing at the low neckline, "What amazing breasts you have! Not too small, not too big. You see, if you had small breasts, it'll be too loose here," and she nudges the bust line, "But if they are too big, well, it'll just spill out everywhere and that would be a bit…awkward. So I'd say, yours is definitely something you should appreciate and be proud of."

Really? She always thought her breasts were too small, but who is she to know what is big or small? She has only ever become aware of them and everything else about her body since her feelings for Tobi transpired. Perhaps there is the possibility he may dislike what he sees. Their intimacy has always been shrouded in almost darkness and frankly she is happy about that.

_But not like it matters anymore. Tobi is gone. He does not want me._

"Okay," she utters quietly.

The audible sigh infiltrates the air and Rin is unsure as to whether it is directed at her or her comment.

"Why don't I make you a deal. If you take this dress and wear it proudly tonight, I won't charge you. But if you decide not to and return to exchange the dress, then you pay for the other dress's hire fee. Does that sound fair?"

Bewildered, Rin stares at the shopkeeper.

"Why would you offer such a generous thing for me?" Rin asks quietly.

"Because you deserve to love yourself."


	57. Disconnect

Evening sets in with a miraculous display of stars that glistens and shines against the inkiness of an indigo sky. Rin has spent most the late afternoon fretting and fussing over her dress dilemma, so much so that by the time she has made up her mind to not proceed, the dress shop has closed for the day.

Frowning in discontentment, she resigns to her only choice of outfit, thoroughly irritated at her time wasting tendencies for insignificant matters.

Inhaling deep to quell the nervousness, she sits on her bed, fully dressed and staring apprehensively out the window. She is not supposed to meet Akihiro until seven, but the agitation of waiting makes her incredibly anxious, so she decides to leave the room.

Careful to remain unseen, she walks down the inn's spacious hallway, assimilating the olden day architecture of its palace-like columns and artistically painted ceilings. The elegant floors are draped in a reddish-golden carpet that screams wealth a hundred years ago. Today, it is a display of history and heritage, the interiors deliberately untouched for the benefits of a modern day tourist.

The chandelier lights are dim and warm, illuminating the long hallway and lending a relaxing atmosphere to the olden day grandness. The wallpapers depict soft patterns of translucent like swirls, its veneer primed and polished to royal standards. Between each panel of protruding columns are windows that look out into the outside world.

When Rin steps before an opened pane, she feels the rushing air of cool breeze, welcoming the refreshing chill as it saunters past her skin and sweeps beneath the nape of her neck. Her hair has been drawn up into a messy updo, the odd sensation of nakedness prickles uncertainly against her bare neck. She figures her hair does not do the dress justice by having it down.

Continuing her walk, Rin does not see anyone, her floor is empty of guests and she can deduce they have all gone down to the celebratory dinner. She can hear distant chattering and laughter, the sounds of plates and glasses clinking against each other from somewhere below.

_Fifteen minutes._

And she descends a set of spiral staircase, the apprehension building as the time ticks closer to seven.

_Why am I feeling like this?_

She knows Akihiro, spoke to him and even made his acquaintance. Yet she cannot fathom these feelings of edginess. It has nothing to do with fear, rather, a thrilling excitement she has never visited before.

Exhaling a lungful of air, she continues to descend the stairs, across another long stretch of empty hallway where the chandelier lights sparkle under the warm glow, past an immense stone archway and straight into Tobi.

She did not see him at all.

"Ouch," she mutters, and she fumbles back at the colliding force.

Through his maskless face, he is surveying her intently from those dark eyes, as if trying to decipher what she is up to.

"What are you doing here?" he asks ruefully, and his watch briefly skims her entirety.

And although fleeting, the deepened gaze indicates his interest at what he sees.

"Out to dinner," she mumbles.

For some inexplicable reason beyond her understanding, she cannot face him.

"Dinner?" He says surprisingly.

"Yes, dinner, and I am late, I need to go," she replies swiftly, and she rushes past him and out the front entrance.

x

Akihiro is already waiting. Hands behind his back, he surveys the historical grandeur of the inn's impressive architecture, allowing the increasing level of nervousness to dissipate with scrutinising concentration.

He is standing amidst a crowd of people, some chattering eagerly whilst others sway slowly to the soft music. Scattered amongst the enormous ballroom are dozens of round white tables draped in white and black fabric. Each table boasting an enormous candelabra with decorative flowers as its centrepiece.

Candles of pristine heritage are mounted all along the wooden panels of wall, a touch of elegance exacerbated by the dim flickering lights of mini fires atop the elaborate looking wax sticks. There is a strong sense of formality and wealth that has once emanated from this place, and Akihiro can feel the atmosphere of rich and royalty from standing in this tourist laden room.

When the room fills to maximum capacity, he finally sees her.

"Akihiro, I'm so sorry I got caught up," Rin says frantically.

"No, it's okay oh wow," he replies, and the last few words comes out a bit too quickly.

Rin, she is one remarkably beautiful woman. The lilac and grey halter dress she wears is so perfectly attuned to her soft curves, he finds the sight incredibly alluring. And as she walks tentatively in his direction, the dress floats and sways by her calves, as if it is the most natural thing.

To the world, she may appear plain, average, but to Akihiro, he sees through this bland image of an ordinary looking woman. Her kindness and the generosity she constantly radiates is something that has come forth to beautify her features. And her smile is light and tender, the genuine humbleness that hovers ever so sweetly on her lips is something he cannot turn from. He can stand here and stare at her for eternity and still would not be satisfied.

"Shall we?"

And Rin nods sheepishly, a small smile caressing the soft surface of her lips. He takes her hand, and together they join the crowds.

x

Akihiro makes her comfortable. Rin has long ago left the queasiness of her anxiety by the room's stairwell. And here she is, revelling in the company of an incredibly attractive man and his two amicable siblings who more often than not showed signs of encouragement between her and their brother. She smiles bashfully when Naoki compliments her dress, to which Sora nods in agreement and suggests she should go dance to show it off.

"Quit with the pressure," Akihiro sighs, and he throws his siblings an irritable look.

But there is still a level of amusement beneath his palpable annoyance. Akihiro is enjoying the conversation, and Rin gets the inkling that he is secretly agreeing with Sora.

Their conversation halts with the arrival of a banquet style food arrangement. The chatter amongst the crowd is loud and cheerful, so much so that Rin cannot help but join in on the infectious mood. She has not felt this light in a long time.

As the night goes on, the tables begin to empty and the guests have mostly migrated to the dance floor. Only Rin and Akihiro are left sitting at their table, speaking animatedly to each other about their travels. Naoki and Sora have long ago disappeared to dance with the other guests, and only sometime later, Akihiro leans in with a small grin flickering across his handsome features.

"Do you want to dance?"

"Dance?" Rin says, and the flood of red surges through, "I don't know how to dance."

Akihiro laughs.

"It's not difficult, I'll teach you," he says, and he stretches out his hand in invitation.

Hesitantly, Rin reciprocates, following him to the dance floor where the hundreds of guests are dancing slowly to the sweet, soft music. And he guides her hands to his shoulders, pulling her closer to him so that she can feel the radiating excitement between them. His hands move to either side of her waist, and ever so slowly, he guides her through the music.

It is easy, once she gets the hang of things, or when she stops herself seconds before stepping on him. But Akihiro finds it incredibly amusing, and he moves in to embrace her with every 'mistake.' And she welcomes it, returning the embrace and allowing her thoughts to lose itself in the moment.

When Rin breaks from him, they continue to dance closely, the rhythmic feel of their sway have synced their minds as one, as if they can now read each other's excitable energy from just touch alone. And she allows this strange energy to channel itself through her, relishing in a different kind of happiness that is putting her psyche at ease.

But as Rin turns her gaze to assimilate the atmosphere, she sees his outline and the swirly mask from the balcony that overlooks the dance floor. Tobi is sitting beside a plump, bald man, apparently immersed in a conversation with him. And despite his obvious disengagement from his surroundings, Rin gets the peculiar feeling that he has been watching her.

"Are you okay?" Akihiro asks, and he is frowning at her sudden troubled expression.

She softens.

"Yes," she answers quietly, and she moves in closer to him.

"Rin, you are one incredible person. I can never repay you enough for saving my life," Akihiro whispers.

There is so much admiration embedded in his gaze, she feels a sense of glowering pride to have evoke so much happiness in someone.

"This is more than enough," she replies lightly.

And Akihiro leans in, so close, their lips are barely inches from each other. She knows he is awaiting her consent, so mindlessly she shuffles closer, until Akihiro covers the distance between their mouths and they are kissing ever so delicately.

Lost in the mesmerising action, her mind attunes to the wonderful feeling of his intimacy. She lets her hand slide to his chest, resting against the hardened planes of muscle so she can lean in without hindrance. And he kisses her deeply and passionately, as if the world around has lost contact with reality and it is now only the two of them moving gracefully to the sound of gentle music.

But despite the heated fervour, Rin cannot dismiss the strange sensation of detachment and disconnect. As if she is trying to engage with Akihiro but there is an emotional inertia that is blocking it from her. Or rather, she is blocking it from him.

When they finally pull apart, Akihiro is grinning tentatively at her, the soft ocean blue of his eyes drilling so deeply into her mind, she becomes incredibly mesmerised by them.

On the balcony, Tobi has disappeared.

"Rin, you told me earlier about your travels and how you would like to see the east side of this country. We are heading there, and you are more than welcome to join us," Akihiro says.

Rin looks to him, uncertainty flagrant across her features.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I just thought if you would like, and the offer is there if you ever feel like you want to. I know you have your teammates, but I find it odd how they are not around you," he adds briskly.

She bites her lip.

"I don't know," she utters.

The music slowly breaks and the guests begin dispersing to their inn rooms.

Akihiro observes her for several seconds, as if determining whether his comment offended her.

"That's okay. The night is still early, do you want to go for a walk somewhere?"

His tone is suddenly awkward and Rin feels a sudden jolt of guilt for his discomfort.

"Yes," she answers.

She takes his hand and squeezes it in reassurance. She did not mean to be dismissive of his offer. And it seems Akihiro is reading her thoughts, because his feature relaxes and he gives her another smile that forces her to turn away in diffidence.

"Great! I'll let Naoki and Sora know, wait for me at the front entrance okay?"

And he kisses her forehead before disappearing amongst the mass of moving crowds.


	58. Stay

The front entrance is located at the opposite end of the grand ballroom, where a mass of people are walking against its direction. Rin does not encounter anyone on her way out, but when she passes a set of staircase at the hallway's extremity, a sudden movement catches her attention.

She halts abruptly, arresting her gaze towards the sitting figure by the window sill. Tobi watches her for several moments before approaching and allowing the nearby candle flames to illuminate his visage.

Immediately, a thick slicing silence infiltrates the air, as if the unwelcome tension has a physical manifestation that is expanding in size.

Rin turns to him, surveying his now unmasked face as he crosses his arms protectively across his chest.

"Before you go, the sealing is about to begin," he says solemnly, and there is almost an element of forced steadiness in his voice.

She knows what that means. Tobi and Deidara will be off-limits for three days and three nights.

"Right," she says shortly.

Tobi keeps quiet, and when she does not add to her brief sentence, he continues to speak.

"Also, be wary of who you associate with, you are still an Akatsuki ally."

"Are you telling me?"

Her eyes widen in contempt. The rough, chilling edge to her tone darkens his gaze.

"I don't think it concerns you who I associate with. I keep my personal life separate from my duties. Please don't assume that I am irresponsible in that manner," she continues coldly.

"That's a bit rich, coming from you," he says derisively.

His comment cuts deep, like a knife slicing through her in a clean slit and her body has taken far too long to register the ailment. The pool of hurt wells somewhere in the recess of her stomach, as if a sickening feeling of unease is spreading through her like a parasitic contagion.

"Really?" she falters.

Her mind identifies the ailment, a sudden tightening knot of her internal, as if what they shared meant absolutely nothing to him. And she watches him carefully, surveying the sudden convoy of madden displeasure that is now transpiring behind his dark gaze.

"It is not like I wanted such an alliance in the first place any way," she continues brashly.

"Is that so?"

Tobi briefly glances at their surroundings.

"Is it an impediment to your life?" He continues tensely.

"I don't know," she whispers tentatively, and she is hugging herself protectively, "I really try and when I finally get a breather, I am being punished for it."

The heartfelt sentence leaves her in a flurry of words. She is by no means poetic with her comments, but she feels it speaks to the widening emptiness that is her very core. Irrespective as to who hears them, Tobi may be the best person who would understand them.

The brief flicker of a thousand interchangeable emotions is perceivable across his harsh features, yet not one is fathomable.

"You are free to go. The three tail mission has been completed after all," he says quietly.

And she stares at him, the bitterness in his voice so clearly evident in the way it makes her heart vibrate in consternation.

She turns from him, her thoughts suddenly infiltrated by Akihiro's words. His kindness has kept her emotions at bay, halted any despondency and sorrow that Tobi has instilled into her the previous night.

"I have been offered to see the world," she says.

The last time she proposed such thing was their time on Cascades Mountain. The desire to see the world with Tobi still lingers, but Rin cannot shake the uncomfortable darkness that is clinging possessively to his soul. And she is incredibly afraid for him, her reluctance to leave his side rises exponentially by the minute.

"Then do so. You have made quite the acquaintance," he replies sardonically.

This time, the spiteful look he gives her is blatant.

"Please stop saying it like that," she breathes hurtfully, "Akihiro is..." she trails off uncertainly.

"Is what, Rin?"

His chilling tone is so flagrant, she can almost feel its physicality.

"I…he is…kind and thoughtful."

He smiles at her comment, but it is far from genuine. There is almost a level of hostility and unpleasantness to his grin, and she hates it.

"Then why are you hesitating on the offer? Or are you trying to lessen your guilt by getting some sort of approval?"

She winces at the repulsive comment. He is taunting her, and for what reason she does not know.

"What are you saying?"

He angles his head slightly, as if surveying a piece of artwork.

"You really liked it didn't you?"

"Please stop," she whispers hurtfully.

"Are you afraid of the truth?"

She stares at him in confusion.

"I think you are," she utters.

And Rin surveys him intently, her watch never wavering from his as he momentarily turns away from her.

When she takes his hand in reassurance, his attention arrests on her grip, the silence mounting until he pulls away from her hold. Then he looks to her, a deep expression of hurt, resignation and animosity etched onto every line of his face.

"So pure," he whispers mildly, and he lightly brushes his fingers against the side of her face, "I wouldn't want to taint such innocence."

The vacant look he gives her is lost in its own convoluted world, as if he is speaking his mind and not directly at her.

With Tobi, she is never sure. He is contradictory,  _volatile_ , and it hurts, tarnishing every ounce of her self-worth and dignity. But if she does not walk away, she will dig herself into a deeper hole.

Her feelings run deep, so much so that the words she speaks does not resonate with the logical part of her mind, rather, a depiction of her heart's desire for closure.

"Tell me you want me to stay and I'll stay," she says brokenly.

His face tells a thousand words, all of which she cannot fully decipher.

But she sees his answer. His hand falls from her and his gaze averts to the ground in contrite.

The smile of resignation hovers against her lips. Perhaps this is the closure she desperately needs.

With bittersweet resentment, she turns from him, an element of relief surging through.

And as her outline slowly dissolves from sight, Tobi continues to watch on from the same position.

"Stay with me," he whispers.


	59. Hatred

Hatred is an inconvenient emotion, but it speaks to him. He loves her so much, he hates her.


	60. Truth

The emptiness does not impinge until days after. Despite the passing of his funeral, she is still grieving. His loss hits her hard, but perhaps her outward composure does not display it. She has been taught at a young age to shelter emotions and contextualise loss. It is the life of a shinobi.

But this grief is different. Perhaps because he was her best friend, her companion, an anchor whom she could confide in when reality did not make sense.

"Rin?"

Kurenai's voice is instantly recognisable. The gentle, sweet and comforting sound breaks her reverie, albeit, the emptiness lingers ever so heavily.

"I'm sorry for what happened," Kurenai says, and she takes a seat beside Rin under the maple tree he always liked to visit.

"They went searching for me," Rin says.

When Kurenai remains silent, Rin continues to speak in a despondent monotonous tone.

"I almost lost Kakashi too. Moments after Obito died, Kakashi was going to take on about twenty enemies on his own."

"Kakashi, you told him your feelings did you not?"

Rin nods, a surge of guilt and shame digs through her insides. The memory is still disgustingly vivid, it makes her body recoil in a sudden fit of anxiety.

"I couldn't bear to lose him as well. Regardless, he made a promise to Obito, that he would protect me. The obsession is driving him insane. I know I am to blame for the loss of Obito's life and Kakashi's sanity-"

"That's enough, Rin," Kurenai interjects pointedly.

Her response is so slow, perhaps chilled by the trauma of recent events, she only registers Kurenai's penetrative comment seconds after.

"They will do everything in their power to protect you, regardless. It is Obito's wish that you remain safe," Kurenai continues, disregarding the bemused expression on Rin's face.

There is truth in every word but Rin struggles to comprehend the practicality of it. Though she appreciates her comrades needs to protect her, she does not want to be shunned to the side. She has a duty, and her duty is to protect her village. If that means she is to protect Kakashi, she will, but she will not hesitate to do what she needs to keep her village safe.

"We cannot always be protected and that is the hard reality of a shinobi's world. I don't want to tarnish Obito's memory by deliberately allowing myself in danger's way, but having the expectation that I would always be protected would pressure Kakashi too much."

"But you must know where Obito is coming from don't you?"

Rin frowns in contemplation. She is unsure of Kurenai's intentions.

"No, I don't."

"Obito loved you."

There is an air of discomforting stillness, as if the atmosphere has suddenly turned passively treacherous and they are remaining oblivious to the impending pain. Or rather, Rin is.

And she takes awhile to respond, Kurenai showing no signs of pushing the conversation further without a trace of consent. Kurenai has always been like that and in moments like this, it is something Rin appreciates.

"I know," she says eventually, "Kakashi confirmed that."

Kurenai watches her in surprise.

"Confirmed?"

There is no response from either girls, until the winds pick up and sweeps the lost revelation into Kurenai's mind.

"You knew all along did you not? Obito's feelings for you?" Kurenai continues.

This time, there is no hesitation between the comment.

"Of course I knew. I knew for a very long time," Rin replies.

"But you have feelings for Kakashi."

Rin does not answer.

Kurenai considers Rin's reaction, as if it is new to her and she is attempting to register its meaning.

"Perhaps you love both of them, almost as if the perfect person is split between Kakashi and Obito?"

And Rin suddenly looks to Kurenai, as if she has put into words the confusing mix of emotions she has been trying to decipher for so long.

"Have you ever heard of the saying, the heart sees what the eyes cannot?" Kurenai continues.

Rin shakes her head, but she understands the meaning behind it.

"What are you trying to say?"

Kurenai smiles.

"Nothing. Just remember, your heart tells you what you need. Your head tells you what you want. It is cliche, but there is always truth born out of these sayings."

x

Kurenai's voice carries itself into the wind, slowly dissipating until the sounds of her echoes are hushed.

When Rin wakes, it is not out from the usual spur, rather, a peaceful ease from her consciousness she finds chillingly alien. And she remembers. Every sentence and every emotion felt on that very dismal day. But she cannot recall the name of the person who passed.

As she sits there reminiscing her life events, she wonders where Kakashi and Kurenai are now. What they are doing, where they are living and whether they are still alive. It has been seventeen years after all.

Inhaling deep, she ambles for the bathroom, the now darkened black-grey lines sitting innocuously against her skin. It has now spread to the rest of her body, spared her face, and does not recede until some time later. The dizzying spells have now been replaced by severe fatigue and weakness, only slowly abating together with the strange lines.

Momentarily dazed by the colours of rising sun, Rin does not realise the knocking sound on her door. When the sound grows louder, she suddenly snaps from her entrancing reverie before proceeding to the door.

"Akihiro," she says.

Though it is still early, Akihiro looks as if he has been awake for some time.

"I just wanted to say goodbye to you before you leave," he says.

"Oh," she replies shortly, "Yes, come on in."

When the door closes behind him, the odd silence infiltrates. But Akihiro never lets it waver for too long.

"I'm guessing you have made up your mind?" He asks slowly, glancing briefly at her half packed belongings.

Rin smiles.

"Yes. It is pertinent I see my master," she answers meekly.

She watches him closely, saddened at her decision to leave him.

They had a short stroll the previous night, but her troubling encounter with Tobi had inevitably cut her time with Akihiro short. And although she was adamant nothing was wrong, the guilt continued to surge, until she almost tripped on a conspicuous lawn ornament and Akihiro had to save her from an unsightly fall.

He did not question her sudden change in behaviour, but he was insistent she returned to the inn and rest. But it was at that moment she revealed to him about her brief encounter with Tobi, although she was careful to leave out the more intimate details. Akihiro seemingly understood, but she sensed a level of brief disapproval from him, as if Tobi's neglectful behaviour and unappreciated efforts in seeing Rin as an important team player, ruffled him.

Akihiro had reiterated his offer to her, but it was also in that same moment she decided she would take a detour and pay her master a visit.

And now she is watching Akihiro's disappointing expression, as if his composure to remain happy about her decision is unravelling. 

"I wish you would join us, but then again I cannot control what is out of my control," he says.

"I'm sorry, Akihiro."

He takes her hand, his grip surprisingly gentle, warm and  _comforting_.

"Don't be. We all have our own paths to follow after all, but please let me know if you ever change your mind."

When his expression softens, she beams at him, the smile he is now giving her somewhat placating the emotional turmoil that has been welling somewhere inside.

"Also, he is lucky," Akihiro adds.

The comment puzzles her, so much that it makes him laugh.

"What is with that face?" He asks lightly.

"I don't understand what you mean," she replies warily.

"No? Men aren't good with words or emotions for that matter," he says sheepishly, "I don't mean to sound abrupt but the sun has now risen fully and if you want to make it to your master's by nightfall, you should get going soon."

He sounds slightly edgy so Rin decides to drop her curiosity of his vague comment.

She nods and Akihiro takes her hands to his lips and kisses them ever so softly.

"Thank you, Rin."


	61. Life

"Orochimaru-sama, what is happening to me?" she asks uneasily.

She does not miss those malicious yellow eyes, or the wicked grin he always gives when there is a hint of impending doom.

"My, my Rin, who exactly have you been hanging out with?" he sneers.

Those iniquitous eyes peer suspiciously from another one of his countless disposable bodies, and damn does it make her sick.

Rin stares at her hands, tracing the ambiguous patterns of her palms that is interconnecting with the foreign black-grey intermittent lines. It has returned ever so sporadically, refusing to dissipate until she utilises her chakra on them.

And her body is caving in on her, an anomalous feeling of heaviness coupled with the undeviating sensation of being electrified. In all her living years, she has never felt so weak, so indispose, so  _pathetic_.

"What do you mean?" she answers wearily.

Her master watches closely, his eyes insinuating suspicion and malice, as if he is trying to figure out what she has been up to all this time.

"Well, it looks like you had a little reunion, somehow, somewhere along the way," he says indifferently, and he is beckoning her to step forwards.

Rin does not answer. The low cackle that is now resonating in this dreary dungeon is settling somewhere deep within her stomach. And it is a revolting feeling of unease and perhaps, terror.

"Any chance that you've seen anything odd?  _Dreamt_  of anything?" Orochimaru continues, and there is a nauseating slyness to his tone.

"Y-Yes. The clearer they get, the worse I feel," she utters wildly.

For a fleeting moment, her master looks surprised, largely bemused with a hint of anxiety flickering behind his smirk.

"Tell me, when did these dreams start?" he asks lowly.

And his gaze continues to bore into her, as if he is trying to decrypt her issues before she can explain them.

"Only months after allying with them," she recalls quietly.

His eyes narrows inquisitively, as if he is trying to formulate an appropriate explanation to her dire situation.

"Your memories are returning," he states simply.

She stares at him, her eyes brimming in perplexity and passive consternation.

"Is that the reason why I'm weakening?" she asks suspiciously.

He lets out a low menacing cackle.

"You were always the more intelligent follower. But it is a shame, your situation that is," he says cruelly.

"A shame?" She whispers wildly, "I will continue to weaken the more I recall won't I? And then…"

She trails off in trepidation, frightened at her very own speculation.

But the look he gives her is the all knowing.

_No! Not like this!_

"Why? How can it be? You never told me of the consequences!" she cries desperately.

"My dear Rin! I told you I can give you your memories back, but instead you retrieved it on your own. In essence, I have no part to play in the consequences," he sneers.

"So if  _you_  gave me my memories back, there won't be any consequences?" she asks shakily.

"That's how I intended it to be," he answers vaguely.

"Can I not change that anymore? Am I too late?" she falters weakly.

He does not answer, but she knows, judging from the indifferent look on his face, those expressionless yellow eyes, the dreary sinister silence between them, she knows.

"No..."

The deep inhalation of air subdues the resentment and frustration of her harrowing situation. If only she had more time.

"Perhaps I may be able to offer you some more  _time,"_ Orochimaru says as if he has been reading her thoughts.

The sinister edge to his tone conveys malignancy, as if he has underlying motives.

"Life is a precious commodity is it not?" He continues flippantly.

She does not know. Perhaps time is something she wants, but what for? Life's importance has left her in a flurry of spiteful emotions. She would never want to return to these dungeons, not after what the world has given her.

But the element of want is strong and she is selfish enough to give thought to such tendencies before someone who does not distinguish between right or wrong.

Her silence must have given the answer Orochimaru needs, because she hears the hissing sound, feels the smooth sensation of tough skin sliding across her body. At first, she thought it was internalised, but as she averts to the ground, she sees a long white snake curling itself around her in a mesmerising trance.

"I've given you some strength back, although it is only temporary. I can see through your wishes, Rin, so the decision should have been easy to make," he says.

Instantly, the indispose feeling dissipates and the electrified sensation in her chest subsides. But something does not sit well with her. She does not trust her master with such a precious gift without consequences.

And it is at that exact moment, she hears a soft neigh. The sound is so weak, faint and disheartening, she can literally feel the painful sensations searing through her bones.

Immediately tuned to the familiar sound, she swiftly turns to see the beautiful white stallion. Its body trembling, its legs struggling, the agony and desolation is so incredibly deep, the distressing emotions continue to course through her body in a spur of violent tremors.

"No…" she utters waveringly.

Several strides and she covers the distance between them.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" She shouts angrily, and the stare she gives her master is so frenzied, his expression suddenly turns stoic.

"I gave you more time. More time means sacrifices, I do hope you realise that, did you not, Rin?" He says carelessly.

And she is crying. She is damn crying. Not out of sadness but out of so much infuriation, she could be bleeding tears.

"He had his uses but you do realise this horse is no ordinary horse? It is a symbol of life, the purity it exudes, I was able to make good use of this specie, the other members of its herd has given me the power to understand the immortality of life. But even after extracting all of this one's power, I realise there would be one power that always stays with it. Life. But at what cost? A sacrifice."

"You sacrificed a life to give me just a bit more time? Do you honestly think that is a worthwhile trade?" She says tremulously.

"I would think you would thank me for giving you that much more time, but instead I get this," he says incredulously.

He pauses, as if the anger is skimming the very surface of his vacant emotions. But when he speaks again, it is calm and infuriatingly composed.

"Well now, anger solves nothing. Besides you were one of my most intelligent followers and you have done your deed quite well. I'd sacrifice this specie any day, even if it would prolong my life just a bit more. Immortality cannot be reached without sacrifices."

She does not speak, so the silence sits for several moments before she processes his comments.

"I've done my deed well? I have stopped sending you Intel for awhile now," she whispers coldly.

Her voice is unusually high, calm but with a barely contained hint of hysteria.

And Orochimaru lets out another low cackle.

"It really is a loss on my end to lose such intelligence. I do hope the two Akatsuki members you were with succumbs to it soon," he says evasively.

When Rin looks to him, startled, he widens his eyes in unalloyed bemusement.

"But I'm always the most intelligent after all, particularly when my top medical follower does not realise I have implanted a virus into her to weaken the enemy."

This time, Rin turns to face her master fully, as if she is finding it incredibly difficult to fathom his level of maliciousness.

"You implanted a virus into me?"

"Naturally. Undetectable and does not affect you as I have programmed it that way. But I made sure it would slowly release itself to the two Akatsuki members you have been allying with. Judging from your level of chakra, the virus has done its deed. It is no longer in you."

"How the hell would you even know that it got to them and not anyone else?"

"I don't, but I am sure it has. One is because I trust you to complete the mission and two, the virus reacts to those who remain in prolonged proximity to you. One virus each. Removing the Akatsuki has been my goal after all I'm sure you would know. This should speed up the process."

Rin remains speechless. The immorality of this situation has gone too far for her weakened mind to assimilate.

"A biological weapon. You don't understand how wrong that could go, could you?" She says, and her voice quivers in exasperation.

"Rin, have a bit of faith," he says.

"You are disgusting!" She cries.

At that moment, the stallion turns and walks the opposite direction, his feeble movements an indicator that his life is hanging by a thread.

When Rin glances at him, she sees a brief glint in his eye, as if she too should follow suit.

And with that, she follows, never looking back.

x

"Orochimaru-sama, is it wise to let her go like that?" the young man asks.

Orochimaru sneers.

"She's beyond saving now. Her memories will eventually return and she'll just crumble away," he answers offhandedly.

"I don't understand. Were you really able to return her memories without having her die as a consequence?" the young man asks perplexedly.

"No, so getting her memories back on her own works in my favour. I won't have to deal with her later on. Plus, it seems as if she teamed up with the wrong Akatsuki pair."

"Wrong pair?"

"Seems like someone she knew in the past is a member of Akatsuki. What are the chances? Who knew emotions can invoke such strong feelings, to the point where her repressed memories begin to unravel."

"Are you saying she's involved emotionally with someone?"

Orochimaru shrugs insouciantly.

"I don't care what she does but either way, even if she's not emotionally involved, by being in close proximity for prolonged periods to whoever it may be, her mind will subconsciously react. More importantly, only someone who was very close to her in the past can cause this reaction. However, seeing that she's only been allying for a few months and that her memories are returning so quickly, I'm guessing she must be quite involved with this person. I wonder who that might be?"

The young man is silent for several seconds, seemingly comprehending his master's oral disquisition of Rin's peculiar situation.

"Does that also mean the closer she becomes with this person or the more she closely associates, the faster her memories will return?"

"Yes, that's another way to put it," Orochimaru answers.

"Will her memories continue to return if she cuts contact with whoever it is that she is associating with?" the young man asks interestedly.

"Yes. Once the repressing jutsu is triggered by an emotional association or prolonged proximity, it will continue unravelling until her memories fully returns. It's just the close emotional association that accelerates it."

"How long do you think she has?" the young man asks eagerly.

His master laughs balefully, startling even the flames that are now flickering and shrivelling in fright.

"I'd be surprised if she can last a week."

"So you're going to let her go?"

"She's no use to me now," Orochimaru replies indifferently.

"But-"

"Kabuto, shouldn't you be checking on Sasuke-kun?"


	62. Connection

"I'm sorry, I don't deserve this at all," she whispers.

He is lying on the cold grounds of the dreary underground, Rin by his side soothingly stroking his cheek. And she sits with him for a long time, until the tears run dry and there is not an ounce of emotion spewing from her.

Blank, vacant and numb, her mind drifts off into nothingness. She refuses to feel, recognise her current position or allow the suspension of her disassociation.

But it is the sound of hooves that breaks her reverie, perhaps not out of her own willpower, but by an unseen force.

In the blackness of the dark tunnel ahead, an immense figure casts an unsettling shadow against the jagged walls of this melancholic dungeon. Rin is not perturbed. Emotional pain can only affect her so much before it reaches a limit and levels off.

Under the illumination of dripping candles, the figure materialises into the outline of an enormous black horse. And she has met this creature before, the same one on Cascades Mountain. Only this time, it does not approach warily, but with grace and purpose.

The soft feeble sound of the white stallion reverberates woefully across their space, as if the pain he feels is not something physical, rather a manifestation of poignancy and sentimentality. And it goes on and on, until the atmosphere suddenly turns deathly quiet. Then, a delicate glow encircles the stallion in a ring of warmth before he disperses into a billion particles, floating and sparkling in an array of innocuous light and vanishing into the air.

"Life," Rin utters.

And instantly, she feels considerably lighter, as if the heaviness she has been carrying around for the past hour has been lifted from her chest and carried away into the world.

When Rin turns her gaze, the black horse is surveying her closely, and it is in that moment that she understands.

"I am going to make use of time," she whispers, "I need you."

The horse stares, but she understands it. Not through words, but through a strange connection she calls feelings.

"And then, I won't defy it anymore," she says softly.

Her hand reaches for the black stallion's nose, the touch a signification of its impending task.

And he disperses into the air, returning when time allows.

x

The misery hurts. It is not literal pain, but a seething irreparable affliction that originates somewhere deep within her empty heart and radiating from the centre to the rest of her body. Except, the heavy feeling of despair has etched itself with such monumental depth, it has become a perennial part of her soul.

Rin walks past the dreary coldness that is the underground dungeons, the flickering glow of candles does nothing to quell the unseeing darkness that has attached itself to these walls.

But her watch remains fixated at the end room. For seventeen years, this place has been her refuge, her shelter, her solitude, but it feels her time away from this place has translated into years.

Her room is dainty, dark and awfully cold, a perfect mirror image of her emotions.

Now she is rummaging through her drawers as if she is looking for something. But she does not know what she is supposed to be searching for.

And her fingers catches the feeling of wooden beads and she pulls the entire thing out, examining the incongruous colours that is purple, orange and an odd shade of blue and brown beads. The bracelet is old and dusty despite having been sitting in her drawer for so long.

She does not remember how she got this.

It does not look like anything special, but she finds the little jewellery rather captivating.

To this day, she still does not understand why she is so solicitous and possessive of such a strange and  _ugly_  looking ornament.


	63. Hiatus

The Akatsuki leader is notorious for calling meetings at the most inopportune of times, especially when it comes to selecting occasions where hurricane-like weather is present or when Hidan is in a foul mood. It is not like putting up with the crack head is any worse than hurricane-like weather – sometimes, but when the entire organisation is forced to go on life hiatus for another tailed-beast sealing, listening to Hidan's headache inducing rants for three days straight is far more detrimental to one's sanity.

However, the sealing of the three tails has been unusually quiet, particularly on Hidan's end. Deidara can hazard a guess that he is probably sitting in some sort of sunny, tropical paradise like place or that he has finished up with one of his heinous sacrificial crap pre-sealing.

Unfortunately on Deidara's end, the weather speaks otherwise. Like a nuclear hailstorm, the wind prowls aggressively back and forth, dumping bucketful of thick, fat droplets onto his head in five minute intervals.

The weather never dies down, so for three days and three nights, he sits there in the coldness, consistently saturated in the element's appalling weather whilst having to deal with Tobi's perpetual complaints regarding the forecast.

But another problem plagues his mind.

"Just letting you know, our medical teammate has wandered off somewhere and we're not entirely responsible if she does something suspicious. We obviously can't keep an eye on her for the three days so don't take it out on us if something goes haywire, hm," Deidara says, and he is eyeing the leader with impending scepticism.

"Hmph, I like how you've summarised your excuse in a way that precludes me from guiltless retaliation," the leader answers pointedly.

"Tche! Like I said, I have no choice but to be here, so in other words, I can't be in two places at once, watching over her whilst sealing this thing, hm."

"The sealing of the tailed beast is a permanent duty every Akatsuki member must abide by, so in essence, you have no right to question your other task as extra work. We are a mercenary organisation with multiple duties and one ultimate objective. In order to achieve this goal, we need to eliminate any obstacles that stand in our way, even if it is an inconvenience," the leader replies solemnly.

"I don't see why keeping this woman with us will help us achieve this ultimate goal, hm," Deidara says satirically.

"You do remember that she has all the low downs on Orochimaru? Eliminating him will eliminate one extra obstacle. Has it ever crossed your mind to subtly interrogate her or trail her or at least keep a watchful eye on her?" the leader asks, and his voice drops to a dangerous tone.

_That bastard._

"Tche! Give me a damn break, if anything, I'm probably the one who's assigned this stupid task. This little shit over here doesn't do anything so I highly doubt he has a scrap of information on her," Deidara snaps.

"Sempai, at least I'm willing to take responsibility," Tobi chides half-heartedly.

"Tobi, shut up now," Deidara snaps warningly.

"Well, well, one woman giving one and a half men a run for their money. I should have known these two are more like useless wusses than anything," Hidan jeers from somewhere on the opposite end.

"What did you say-?" Deidara starts caustically as a sudden downpour of heavy rain douses his sentence.

"Enough with the nonsensical ridicules, focus on the sealing," the leader interjects coldly.

x

Three days of sitting in chilling hurricane-like weather is bound to come with consequences, and unfortunately, both Deidara and Tobi have fallen gravely ill.

They return to Cascades Town the following day in the hopes of reuniting with Rin, but upon mentioning her name, Tobi suddenly stiffens in unease.

"What's the matter with you?" Deidara asks.

"Sempai, I think Rin has decided to go her own way," Tobi answers.

His voice is oddly apprehensive, a hint of alarm underlaying his very nervous demeanour.

"I told you to keep watch whilst I relocated that damn three tails. Can you not do one thing right?" He snaps exasperatedly.

The sudden anger unleashes a wave of hacking cough that resonates from somewhere deep in his lungs. His body is oddly weak and numb, as if he is floating through zero gravity and his limbs have bizarrely detached itself from his body.

He sits at a nearby bench, suppressing another surge of relentless coughing in order to preserve what is left of his energy.

Beside him, Tobi takes a seat in his own efforts to subdue the tremors. And although sickened by whatever they may have caught, Tobi appears to be fairing much better than Deidara.

"We'll head back to Cascades Town anyways, it's the nearest. I doubt I can go another damn hour the way this is progressing," he mutters irritably.

And for the first time ever, he wishes Rin was here.


	64. Palliative

Things have changed for the worse in the next two days. Confined to his room for the past forty-eight hours, Deidara has lost all track of time and space. The ailment hacks at him with such vicious vengeance, he is unsure if he would ever see the light of day again. The headache is anything he has ever experienced before. His head feels swollen, the incessant pulsation of a banging sensation that hits, bounces and rattles against his skull is so intense, he has become incredibly disoriented.

And the sharp, piercing pain of what feels like stab wounds, prods against his abdomen and knots his internal organs into a tangled mess that is impossible to separate.

Then comes the heavy feeling of an enormous boulder sitting heavily against his face and chest, and it is smashing into him again and again until his body bruises and there is nothing left of his bones.

"For fuck's sake, is this how I'm going to die?" He mutters angrily.

Even his voice trembles with the effort of utilising his vocal cords.

In all his life, he has never been this sick. And he has endured many things, harsh winters, debilitatingly hot climates, thrashing winds, heinous storms, yet he finds it disconcertingly strange to have fallen so ill, as if something very unnatural,  _artificial_ , is multiplying inside him.

But he is stubborn, refusing to believe that he has succumbed to something that has not experienced the momentary explosion of his art. This is nature's way of cheating him and he hates it.

"My art needs to be experienced regardless of whether you're a fucking virus or a ninja," he says angrily.

And it retaliates with increasing power, forcing him to expel a lungful of bloody something for his cheek.

The coughing does not stop for a long time, until his body has exhausted itself from the persistent heaving and is no longer fighting against the searing pain that has continued to pulsate unpleasantly against his abdomen.

Only hours into the night that he hears his door open. Perhaps he is hearing things? He does not trust his senses anymore. Reality and illusion have somehow intermeshed with each other under this virus's control.

But the sound of soft footsteps does not conceal the fact that he can sense someone approaching him.

Acutely aware of danger, he forces himself to turn in the direction of the noise, somehow cursing the fact that he had switched off the bedroom lights.

His head hits a block in his neck, and no longer can he move it further to eye the newcomer.

Without thinking, and perhaps terrified at his vulnerability, he lets out groan that should have been a 'Who are you?' sentence.

The movement stops, and momentarily lost in the quietude, Deidara thought it may have all been his imagination. But the footsteps resume, and now he can feel the person standing close to his bedside.

"Deidara?"

The voice is soft yet soothingly familiar.

Rin.

He does not speak, but he makes a slow nod in the darkness, unsure as to whether she could see or not.

For a brief moment, she remains quiet, then she is whispering in his ear.

"You need to sit up for me so I can help you."

The sounds of her movement fascinates him, as if having another human being in his room is something he has taken for granted. Sick, vulnerable and lonely. That would be a terrible way to die. At least Rin is here.

He hears her shuffle towards the bedside table, and seconds later, the  _clicking_  sound transpires followed by the illumination of dim light. And it is glaring against his face, Deidara only managing to see the timber panelling of the bedroom ceiling before shutting his eyes to the offensive glow.

"Dammit," he groans irritably.

Two days cooped up in a tiny inn room with minimal lighting has turned him bat-blind.

"Sorry," Rin calls from somewhere to his right, "lights are a necessity at this point."

When his eyes finally adjusts to the light, he turns to see Rin peering over at him, her face reflects a brigade of concerning emotions he strongly associates with a clucky mother fretting over a sick child.

She gets him to sit up, the feel of her soft warm hand against his back almost like a palliative relief to his tired body. In the next few seconds, he feels a surge of warmth rushing through him, the sickening feeling of pain and pounding recedes into nothingness.

Considerably lighter, he turns to face Rin with a look of awe plastered across his features.

"What just happened?" He asked.

Though his throat hurts, his vocal cords are no longer fighting and straining against his sentences.

"Temporary relief only," she says without looking at him.

Then she picks up a black satchel bag and dumps the entire content of a hospital onto the floor beside her.

"Where were you?" He asks.

"Out of town."

"You came all the way back?" He says incredulously.

Perhaps was is out of admiration rather than anything negative.

"Yes," she replies shortly.

He frowns at her statement, unsure of her sudden reappearance. When he surveys her closely, he sees the sombre, dispirited look that is etched into her blank gaze. Although she is concentrating deeply at the contents before her, there is a strange sensation of hopelessness exuding from her. Whatever it may be, he is grateful for her presence, albeit he would never admit to this piece of information.

"You seriously love to inconvenient yourself don't you?" Deidara mutters.

"For someone who is sick, you sure like to talk a lot," she answers irritably.

"Oi, oi, I'm just saying, hm."

"Sit back, I need to measure your temperature," Rin says gruffly, and she places the thermometer to his mouth with more force than necessary.

"Have you seen Tobi yet?"

At this question, she tenses quite considerably, as if the sound of Tobi's name is evoking some sort of agitation within her.

"No," she answers quickly.

"I'm surprised you're attending to me first, I would have thought Tobi was more of a priority than me, hm," Deidara says, voicing his thoughts out loud as Rin shoots him a reproachful look.

"You're worst off than him," she says wryly.

He raises his eyebrows in dubious suspicion. How would she know that if she has not attended to Tobi yet?

Folding his arm across his chest, he watches silently as she surveys an assortment of complicated looking medical supplies.

They are silent for a while and it actually feels as if Deidara is sitting in a sterile hospital rather than an inn. Everything in this room is white, with the exception of one tiny little burgundy table stuffed in the far corner of the room. There are no curtains or blinds covering the whitish windows, and the timber flooring gives off a funny shade of cream against the moon's eerily glow.

"How are you feeling?" Rin asks, breaking the quietude.

"Hmph! I could say I'm fine but I'm sure you'd be able to look past that, so pretty shit to be honest, hm."

Rin may have a solid idea on how he is feeling, but he is still trying to suppress the horrendous pounding headache that is now apparent across his entire head, and the feelings of severe nausea that is threatening to chuck the entire contents of his stomach. He is also not going to rule out the hot and cold flushes that is coursing through him every now and then, or the uncomfortable sensation of sweating profusely, no matter how much cold water is being splashed onto him.

"Why do you need to carry around so much stuff?" he asks interestedly as he continues to observe her enormous medical collection.

"It's a necessity," she answers simply.

"You just think it's a necessity, you're probably a just in case type of person who always thinks they need to carry more than they-"

"Shut it, Deidara," she interrupts pointedly, shoving another thermometer into his talking mouth.

Then she yanks it painfully from him, checking the temperature with a very dissatisfactory look on her face.

"Hasn't changed, you're still fevering. Maybe if you stop yapping crap, you'll get better real soon," she says nonchalantly, and again she hovers a hand over his chest.

The familiar warmth surges through, alleviating every cell in his body as it passes. With every minute, his temperature declines, the hot flushes becomes a distant feeling and the profuse sweating dissipates from his skin.

"I've brought your temperature down but you'll need to take medication in order to keep it that way. I'll be making it soon so you need to keep resting whilst I'm away," she says mildly, "Also, don't talk too much."

x

When Rin returns several hours later, the grotesque sensation of fatigue and exhaustion rises to the surface of his skin. But Rin does not allow the fever to escalate. Moments later and the tranquil comfort of her chakra takes over.

"Here take this," she says quietly, handing him a bitter smelling herbal drink.

"This tastes disgusting," Deidara gags.

"It's medication, it's not meant to taste nice," she replies dryly, "And drink… _all_  of it," she adds dangerously.

"Absolutely disgusting," Deidara mutters miserably.

"If you want to get better, you'll have to take it, five times a day," she says indifferently.

Normally he would argue against such nonsense, but he does not have the strength to put up with his body, let alone her.

"I'll be doing viral extraction tomorrow. It's going to hurt so you better rest up," she says seriously.

With that, she ambles out the door, deliberately ignoring his sudden questioning statements.

That does not sound good. No, it does not sound good at all.


	65. Virus

The fear keeps her apprehension at bay. Deidara's ailment is so bad, she had to withhold her treatment plan for fear he may not tolerate the pain.

Evil. He has always been, Orochimaru, but never did she imagine his immorality would stretch this far. His business to remove the Akatsuki is his own damn business. Why did he have to involve her? She only agreed to her spying duties, not as a vector for a biological weapon.

The anger and humiliation sweeps through her steps, emitting a revolting negative energy she does not recognise as her own.

The fear for her teammates stretched far and wide, so much so that she decided to abandon her pride and return here. Part of her recoiled in fright at the thought of reuniting with him again - Tobi, but she cannot dismiss her master's vile tactics.

A fragment of her had wished she would not find them in Cascades, that they had moved on elsewhere and she would have lost sight of them. But her instincts and the medical knowledge she possesses knows the extent of such veracity. If the virus is what she thinks it is, she knows its power - her teammates would be incapacitated. Her master is clever, but she knows secrets about the human body he will never know, not even his precious right-hand man, Kabuto.

Returning to her ex-teammates is more of a repentant. She is here to fix what she has broken. There is no other motive. Her time runs short, she knows her fate, but she intends to use what is left of her existence to change things and perhaps allow nature to run its course. Her resurrection has ultimately defied the natural progression of life, and to this day, seventeen years on, she still feels an outsider, never belonging to a world that so unwillingly accepted someone who had been given a second chance in the most immoral of ways.

Here she is now, her mind concentrating on her task, on what she needs to fix, but that does not stop the sudden hitch in her breath and the nervousness that comes with the dreaded desire to see him.

A part of her fears for his safety, that perhaps he has faired worse than Deidara and the virus has taken its host far too quickly. But the irrationality of such thoughts has not steered her actions to focus on Deidara first. She knows Tobi will be okay.

This inn is much smaller than their previous grandeur, but it is still remarkably well kept. There is only one set of stairs that links to the five floors of this building. It is an immense sized staircase that spirals all the way to the top, and sits in the exact middle of the ground floor like a prized centrepiece. Deidara is on level one, Tobi level five. This would be a fantastic hike. Yet the five minute walk to the top does not feel long. Perhaps the apprehension of seeing Tobi has distorted her time and space.

When Rin is outside his door, she remains unusually still, as if afraid he may hear the sounds of her breathing, or the racing thoughts of her anxiety. But she is meant to knock after all. And when she does, the sound reverberates so loudly in her ears, she glances around her in fright. To the outside world, they did not hear a thing. In Rin's mind, anything to do with Tobi is always exaggerated out of proportion.

There is no answer, so Rin tries again. On her third try, she concludes he must either be asleep or out.

_What if he is barely alive?_

The sudden thought strikes her as she turns to leave. It freezes her momentarily. There is almost a moment where she thought to break herself in, but she knows her mind's irrationality has gained control again. It does not preclude her from being too careful, so when she turns to knock again, she still gets no answer. Tentatively, and without thinking, she places a hand on the door handle, startled when it dips all the way down and the wooden frame creaks open. It is unlocked.

"Tobi?" She whispers hesitantly through the crack.

There is no artificial light seeping through, yet she can clearly see the illumination of pearly moon shining its way through an opened window. When she gets no answer, she lets the door swing wider, until she is stepping in and the soft breeze of a winter's night saunters through and nicks her face with its frostiness.

"Tobi?" She calls.

Her hand fumbles for the light switch. The room suddenly glares a gleaming yellow light, vanquishing the shadows of furniture and bed, and drawing them brightly before her. The room is empty, almost as if there is no one staying in here. She is sure she has the correct room. In the bathroom, it is also empty, plain,  _clinical._ But her eyes wander over to the writing desk and she spots several pieces of blank paper, a scroll and a strange looking chart with odd mathematical-like symbols drawn all over. Someone, perhaps Tobi, is staying here.

Sighing mutely, she relieves her shoulder from the heaviness of her medical bag, deciding that she should wait for his return. There is a fire of relief, that if Tobi is absent, he must be okay.

Twenty minutes have passed and there is still no sign of him. The hours tick closer to midnight, her body exhausted but her mind wide awake. She won't leave until she is sure Tobi is okay. And then, she will ensure to remove all traces of the viruses from the two Akatsuki members before she departs. They no longer need her. Perhaps she could try and contact Akihiro and join him on his travels. Rin keeps the reminiscing at bay. She does not want to raise her hopes too high.

Finding something to do, she runs a hand through the pieces of paper, surprised when she recognises a smaller, older parchment tucked in between the stack of strange symbol-laden papers. The symbols on the old parchment are familiar at first glance, and the longer she stares at them, the more she links them to her time on Cascades Mountain. They are the exact same symbols Tobi and her discovered in that strange cave.

_Why does Tobi have this?_

And below in very small handwriting, is perhaps the translation of the above symbols. Her gaze focuses on the first word, "sky," before a sound interrupts her concentration.

"What are you doing here?"

The deep and pleasant, yet wary voice raises her from the chair in such fright, she lets out a terrified squeak before knocking it to the ground in the process.

"Good gracious," she shrieks, and she turns to face a very bemused looking Tobi, who is standing opposite and surveying her suspiciously.

"I-"

Rin cuts herself off. How did he get through the door without her noticing?

"I…was waiting here for you, I just…I…was helping Deidara…and I… wanted to know if you were…you were…okay…" she trails off stupidly.

The red flush sears through her cheeks in a flurry of confusing words. Goodness she is one embarrassing mess.

Tobi does not answer, but his dark gaze continues to observe her closely. And she looks away in diffidence. She has forgotten how intense his stare can be.

"I-I could just make sure that you're okay. Deidara isn't well right now but it seems as if you are fine," she says brusquely.

Rin briefly glances at him, willing herself to assimilate his tall, defined features. His cloak is unbuttoned, as if he has slid it on in a hurry from wherever he has been. But that plays to her advantage, she can see the carefully sculpted outline of his broad muscular chest, and the long sinewy legs that are standing slightly apart in the most formidable of stances.

In the moment their eyes meet, Tobi gives her a small, slow inexplicable smile. And she turns away again, failing to remember that they have not seen each other for several days at least. And it may be the time apart, but she has also forgotten how incredibly attractive he is. The desire may sit uncomfortably flagrant across her mind, but she is determined to see her new duties through.

Tobi remains unusually still, quiet, but she sees the emotions behind his gaze, as if he is contemplating her presence.

"It won't take long, I promise, just in case, and I will leave right away," Rin says quickly.

"Why are you here?" His voice is low and suspicious.

Taken by surprise, she flinches uneasily at his question, as if each word grates through her skin in vexation. There is no hiding things from Tobi. 

She sighs deeply, the resigned look on her face has somehow reinforced Tobi's wariness of her presence.

"A virus was implanted into me to infect the two of you. Prolonged contact means the chances of inflicting the damage on a certain target is increased. He did his job, he got what he wanted and I'm here to rectify it," she answers blankly.

The following silence is so deafening, Rin can hear her very own erratic heartbeat, or is that his?

"I see," Tobi replies eventually.

"Are you okay?" She says suddenly.

She hitches her breath abruptly. The tone she spoke was so full of fear, emotion and fret, Tobi stares at her in puzzlement. She did not mean for it to come out like that. Holding her composure and her emotions at bay was what she had intended to do for this meeting, but Tobi always finds a way to interfere with her logic.

"I am now," he says quietly, "although I doubt your master knows too much about my abilities, and of course the Senju cells."

"The Senju cells would drastically reduce your symptoms and mortality risk but you would still have those viruses in you," she says.

"Is that a problem?"

"These viruses are not natural, they are biologically programmed, they have chakra infused into them to ensure they do maximum damage. I don't know how you are feeling though."

"Fine," he answers softly.

"Can I check?"

She swallows nervously, unable to keep the faltering in her voice to a minimum.

For awhile, he watches her, but then he gives a brief resigned smile before seating himself on the chair.

Surprised at his sudden compliancy, she tentatively hovers close, the radiating heat of his proximity hitting her faster than the speed of light. She almost jerks back at the sudden shock, but she holds herself steady with bated breath. He does not notice.

Ever so gently, she places a hand to his forehead, identifying his temperature and viral levels through her chakra. She wants to quicken the process, Tobi makes her extremely uneasy.

"You're certainly not as bad as Deidara," she says reassuringly.

His expression remains opaque and glassy, as if he is focused on his own thoughts and has not registered her explanation. But then she notices his lack of eye contact, and perhaps he too is equally uneasy in her presence.

"I'll still need to remove the viruses from you," she says quietly.

He looks to her fleetingly before averting to the ground.

"What does that entail?"

"Chakra and quite a bit of pain unfortunately. But we can work on some analgesics."

"I won't need analgesics," he says bluntly.

She frowns reproachfully, but does not speak as she sorts through her medical supplies.

"These are virus attracting drugs, I'll need to inject them into you."

She shows him a vial containing a clear substance, and a second vial that looks an odd shade of murky green.

When he does not answer, she goes to sit beside him, taking his left arm and sliding the sleeve up so that it sits just above his upper arm. And it is hard work. His warmth beneath her hand has coursed its way through her fingers, leaving a slight tremble in her muscles that has nothing to do with the cold.

"I'll give you analgesics so you don't feel pain," she continues.

When she reaches for a third vial, Tobi suddenly turns from her, leaving a spread of agitation that echoes in the space between them.

"I don't need it," he says.

"You will, the procedure isn't pleasant," she replies anxiously.

"No, I don't need it," he presses forcibly, and he is pulling away from her grip.

She bites her lip, a momentary string of contemplative emotions flickers her features. She cannot force him.

The extraction process is gruelling and conspicuously painful, but Tobi appears unperturbed by the procedure. Perhaps he can tolerate pain to an impossible degree.

"How does this work?" he asks wearily, watching as she pulls a reddish-black liquid from his arm with her chakra.

"The drug attracts free floating viruses to one localised area of your body. In this case, it would be your arm because that is where I injected it. Then, I just insert small amounts of chakra and pull them out," she answers simply.

He gives her a faltering smile.

"You make it sound so easy."

"It's a simple procedure for me because I developed it and I've been using it for a long time, but realistically, it's quite difficult since it requires incredible chakra control and precision. One wrong step and you can burst the little bubbles where the drugs have been holding the viruses," she explains helpfully.

Tobi keeps quiet from then on, but Rin cannot help notice the increasing levels of uneasiness that is proliferating in the air.

Fifteen minutes into the procedure and she decides to adjourn the treatment. If she overdoes it, his muscles will collapse and become permanently immobile. If she stays here any longer, the mounting tension would drive her insane.

"Your viral count has depleted by more than half. Medication will take care of the rest," she says, "I'll go prepare them now. In the meantime, just rest okay?"

He does not speak, but the look he gives her expresses a silent level of understanding.

"Well, it's a bit of a walk so I better get back," she says.

"You're not staying at this inn?" he asks, bemused.

"There aren't any rooms left here. I don't have a choice really," she shrugs insouciantly.

He watches her for several uncomfortable long seconds, as if trying to assimilate what she just explained. In the end, he turns away without answering, an indicator of her dismissal.

x

Rin returns half an hour later, medication in hand and ready to finish for the night. When she knocks on Tobi's door, there is no answer. She waits patiently for several moments before trying again, but instinctively she knows he is not inside. Peeved at his lack of respect for his own health, she attempts to open the door, but almost falls through when it swings open at the same time. And she is hurled forwards, her hand holding on to the nearest object to counterbalance. But that object is Tobi, who almost falls to the ground with her had he not resisted.

"I'm sorry, I thought you weren't inside and I thought I would just leave the medicine-"

"Are you okay?" He interrupts quickly.

Flustered, she nods sheepishly before he lets go of her arm. The lingering feelings of desire still hovers ever so delicately on the surface where he held her, but she refuses to acknowledge the increasing levels of need building inside.

For the next ten minutes, she puts together his medication before swiftly handing it to him.

"Here, you'll have to drink all of it," she says softly.

He is watching her again, and this time, she can feel the intensity of his intrusive gaze. But she forces herself to look back at those deepened eyes, matching his heightened state with equal potency.

For several seconds he stares at the drink, as if deciphering whether she has given him poison. And though he is cautious, there is an underlying element of trust between them.

"You'll only have to take this once and you should be fully recovered," she says, watching as he makes a face to the bitter taste of the medication.

When he remains quiet, she continues.

"I know you haven't been resting. You need to take care of yourself you know."

The slightly bewildered look he gives her is strangely out of touch with reality. He does not respond, but his face twists into a brigade of apathetic emotions, as if what she said offended him and he is trying to remain neutral about it.

Hurriedly, she repacks her belongings, ready to leave the uneasy tension before her desire takes over and goodness knows what would happen then.

But when she next glances his way, he is watching her with a peculiar expression, as if there is curiosity and something that looks disconcertingly like revulsion.

Unexpectedly he leans in, grabbing her left wrist in a callous grip and yanking her so hard she falls forward against the table with her left arm held in the air.

"Where did you get this?" he asks softy.

His tone is heartless, unforgiving,  _deadly_.

Her eyes tracks to where his gaze lingers, the ugly incongruous beaded ornament beaming back at her against the dimness of artificial lighting.

"I-" she starts.

She has been wearing this damn thing since her arrival. He only noticed now?

"It's mine ever since I can remember, why are you so aggressive about where I got this?" she says hurtfully, and instantly he lets go of her.

Scowling, he turns away in bitter disgust, as if the artefact offends him and its presence transcends every scrap of aversion a human can have for an inanimate object.

"Sorry, it-it doesn't…I've seen nicer things on you," he finishes awkwardly.

"You're not a very good liar are you?" she says archly.

His response is a very faint pink tinge that is slowly becoming apparent across his cheekbones. If Tobi is any other normal man, Rin would think he is embarrassed for saying such silly things in her presence, but this  _is_  Tobi, and perhaps the awkwardness has some other underlying meaning?

"Did I hurt you?" he asks.

"No, it's okay I'm fine," she answers candidly.

And there is an outpour of inexplicable emotions when he is looking at her, as if he is trying to read her thoughts and predict her next actions.

When he leans close, the sudden feel of his enrapturing heat sends a sultry shiver down her spine. She can smell his intoxicating scent, the arousing sensation stoking the little burning ember of lust and desire into a ferocious blazing flame.

"Thank you for coming back," he says softly, and without her awareness, his hand is resting on her shoulder in the most delicate of ways.

Again she trembles at his touch, his closeness, the urge to throw herself into him is so strong, she hitches her breath in consternation, praying she would not succumb to the sinful ardour that is so flagrant before her.

She licks her lips in apprehension, an action that Tobi tracks with deepened intensity.

"I came back to fix what I messed up in the first place," she answers briskly.

Her tone is incredibly cautious, a hint of coldness saturating its sound. But Tobi remains oblivious, and he continues to lean closer, until she is inches away from tasting his kiss.

Though her heart and body is tempted by his presence, his past actions have left a deep gaping wound. From within, the fight against desire becomes so intense, she has inadvertently internalised the emotions. And she feels it physically, gnawing at her insides, pulsating in an aching pain that resonates restlessly in her middle.

"No. No more…please don't," she whispers despondently.

The hurt transpires even before his impending actions. And she tears away, stepping back so quickly he withdraws in confusion.

"Rin?"

"If you have any ounce of respect for me, you would stop playing around as if I am a disposable person without feelings," she says evenly, but there is a strong hint of rising hysteria in her voice.

Tobi is quiet, as if he is deciphering her sudden forceful accusations.

_Accusations that are true._

"Is that how you truly feel?" He asks lowly.

"My work here is done. I don't want to see you ever again."

And she turns and disappears behind the door.


	66. Guileless

Her words leave a severe gaping wound. Rin did not imagine its sorrowful impact on her, nor the mounting heaviness that is pounding so viciously against her thoughts.

Tobi, he is always running, never thinking twice about his actions or how easy it is for him to take advantage of her vulnerable and guileless emotions. It may be bittersweet on his end but to her it is plain bitter. She has now barred herself from carrying out any empathetic feelings for him. Perhaps it is the resentment and grievance towards his volatility, but she is still struggling to comprehend his vague excuses and the bizarre justification for the convoluted reasoning behind his actions.

A fragmented part of her appeals for her forgiveness, to forget the emotional turmoil Tobi has put her through and to allow the construction of a bridge to run its course. And once she steps past this bridge, she could perhaps unload the burden he has instilled into her so many months ago. But she has regained a new sense of pride, her time away from him and the realisation of her fate has forced her to leave things as they are. She will no longer be conversing with him.

Once Deidara's treatment is complete, she will leave. Where, she does not know but perhaps a solo journey would assist in regenerating the lost and broken emotions. Her time is desperately short, and soon she will regain the memories she has so desperately set out to retrieve in the seventeen years of her 'new' life. After all, memories are what embodies the soul and forms a connection to those in the mortal world. Was that not her reasoning for pursing her pride so many long years ago?

x

In the next two days, the mood between Rin and Deidara is sombre. He does not talk much, neither argue nor complain. A small outcome she secretly appreciates. Deidara's nonsensical talk does her head in far too much.

But she is sympathetic to his current situation. The viral extraction is unpleasant, and even with the maximum dose of painkillers, his agonising wails penetrates the four walls and rebounds ever so violently against her bones.

"How…much…longer?" Deidara groans in between lungful of heavy breathing.

This is his third extraction, and she deeply feels for him at this stage. If only she had a bit more time, she could concoct a stronger dose of anti-pain medication. But time does not permit, not unless she fancies being witness to a wasting away Deidara.

"It's done," Rin says quickly.

"Dammit, my muscles, they're hurting like hell."

"Don't worry, I've prepared a herbal bath for you. I promise it'll take the pain away," she says gently, "Only a few viruses left, your body will be able to take care of it. You should be virus free by tomorrow and one more day of rest after that and you'll be back to your irritating self," she adds lightly.

He winces at every movement, turning to gaze admiringly at her before a stubborn expression takes over, something closely associated with the normal Deidara-look.

"Fine, fine, hurry it up and leave, I need to drown my muscles," he says wearily,

He grimaces in an attempt to stand, but not before she catches a small smile of gratitude from him.

"Alright, I'm leaving."

x

Rin decides to exclude the details of her departure from Deidara. She is not being ill-mannered, rather, he would raise too many questions.

There was an element of surprise at her sudden reappearance several nights ago, which means her defection was mentioned. It would not hurt for that information to be reiterated a second time.

Also, she never stated her intentions to rejoin.

x

The afternoon sun gleams ever so brightly against a blue background, brightening even the dreary exterior of her inn's concrete-like building.

Rin has packed, her mind made up and her room returned. She sits by the cosiness of the inn's restaurant, soaking the warmth of sun and wishing she was alone by the ocean. The thought probes her memory of her first experience with endless water, and though it ignites a wistful sensation of nostalgia, there is an element of sadness attached to it.

When she retrieves the little jar from her bag, her heart momentarily stops. The vast array of coloured sand and seashells, a masterpiece that they created together, glistens ever so sentimentally from its terranium. And it suddenly gnaws at her insides, provoking fresh wounds as it hacks deep at the emotionally futile barriers.

Desperate, she stuffs the jar back into her bag, ensuring the rest of her other contents are obscuring it from sight. Perhaps she should leave it behind. Leave all the memories behind.

But her contemplation is interrupted by a very intimidating looking man who has surreptitiously planted himself beside her. Instantly, she gets a full dosage of unpleasant deja vu.

"Hello sweetheart," he says gruffly, and she sees the passive excitement of infatuation seared across his thickset features.

This time, she is acutely aware that he may not be a civilian, but a ninja.

"Are you alone?" He continues.

His voice is revoltingly greasy and when he leans closer, she can smell the horrendous stench of his putrid rotting breath.

"That does not concern you," she says uncomfortably.

She shifts slightly towards the window, a bad move perhaps considering she is trapped in between a solid structure and a man who has taken up more than half the bench space.

The man lets out a booming laugh, so loud, the entire restaurant turns to stare perceptively.

"I love a feisty woman," he says in that same sickening tone.

Then he notices her medical kit protruding from her bag.

"Oho! A medic!" he exclaims happily, and without so much a break, as if this is the reason for his conversation with her, he brusquely continues, "Listen, I have a proposition to make, looks like you're travelling alone. We are ninjas," he points briefly in the opposite direction where a group of men are sitting, "here with my comrades, we are looking for a medical ninja who could assist us with our missions. In exchange for the medic's service, we pay well, offer protection etcetera. What do you say?"

Rin takes a moment to absorb the man's very rehearsed and very long winded explanation.

"Thanks for the offer, but I must decline. I have decided to step back from the medical role," she says solemnly.

The man surveys her for several seconds, as if deciding whether to retaliate forcefully or play it safe.

"Alright, alright. But looks like you are travelling solo. How about I offer you guidance to wherever you need to go. Besides, it's important for a lady not to go on her way alone."

"I can manage without assistance," she answers frigidly.

"I must insist, particularly a woman like you."

Rin frowns in puzzlement. She is unsure of the insinuation behind his statement, but it seems as if this underlying motive is a separate issue from his earlier proposal.

And it seems he is reading her thoughts because when she remains silent, he shuffles close so that her back hits against the window pane.

In a sly, raspy tone, he whispers in her ear.

"Tell me sweetheart, have you been ruined yet or are you still pure?"

The fawning manner sends a chilling unease throughout her body. And combined with the rancidness of his breath and disgustingly disrespectful comment, she is gagging slightly.

_Good gracious what on earth did I ever do to attract such filth?_

"Please leave, I have no interest in you," she says coldly.

"Oh come on now, nobody says no to me!" He chuckles.

"I believe I just did," she retorts scornfully.

For a fleeting moment, he looks slightly offended, but his expression changes instantly when he briefly glances in the direction of his three other male comrades, who are leering at her from across the room.

"Fine, respect for the lady," he sighs dramatically with hands raised in resignation.

But she remains suspicious. She needs to leave soon if she ever wants solace.

Incredibly, the man slides off the bench and ambles over to his comrades, the oily ponytail of his dark hair swinging repulsively on his small roundish head.

Swiftly, Rin gathers her belongings and rushes for the door, completely unaware that the four men are whispering maliciously in her direction and watching carefully as she disappears to the outside skies.

But she does not get far past the front exit when she hits into Tobi. And that damn intoxicating scent of something like faint sandalwood and clean male strikes her so hard, she instantly becomes consumed by its dizzying sensuous effects.

She was hoping he would not impede her departure, or even present himself here for that matter, but it seems his presence is ubiquitous nowadays, even when he is not physically around. Damn him.

Tobi steps back from her, as if he too is momentarily surprised at her sudden appearance. But he unexpectedly holds her arm in a firm grip, his eyes stark with an intensely sombre expression.

"Don't," he says.

Furious, she yanks from him, the anger lingering uncomfortably at the back of her throat.

"You were following me?" She says incredulously, "Please just stop!"

"Don't put it like that," he answers with equal irritation.

"What are you playing at?" She says wildly.

"I'm not playing at anything."

Then he grips her arm again in a futile attempt to halt her hysteria.

"Let go!" She shrieks.

"Don't!"

"Let me go!"

And in that moment of struggle, she is standing so close to him that the inconvenient feeling of need resurfaces. The flicker of emotions that has been unknowingly suppressed flits across her mind, an enormous attempt on her logical part not to relent to that dangerous desire that wants to so much fall into him and relish in the safety of his embrace.

But she also regrets the broken contact when her arm successfully pries itself from his grip.

"I hate you!" She cries.

And all men. Curse them all, the whole damn lot of them.

Then she pushes past him and down the narrow pathway that leads to the town's exit.


	67. Malevolent

_**This chapter contains trigger content for sexual abuse** _

* * *

There was a deadly warning to his tone, but the infuriation was so profound it penetrated and banished all rationality and vigilance from her mind.

Rin has been walking for more than thirty minutes now, the view of Cascades Town now a muddle of blurry buildings inundated by low clouds and greenery. She does not know where she is going, but getting away from Cascades is a priority.

The vastness of cloudless skies is almost a travesty of the enragement that is growing inside her. As the beaming sun becomes a soft glow of gold, and the atmosphere turns a brilliant shade of orange-red, the exasperation diffuses and no longer is she feeling the urge to thwack any one within sight.

But she soon realises that her surrounding is unimpeded, the unusual eery silence resonating precariously against her body. No birds singing, insects chirping, or other foot traffic from travellers. Perhaps Cascades is so large and secluded, people do not cross paths. Either way, she finds the lack of life incredibly disconcerting.

Disregarding the discomfort, she continues to forge ahead, the hapless sensation of dread increasing in intensity until it is reverberating uncontrollably from somewhere deep within. And though she pins it down to the indispose feeling of her memory's return, she cannot help but notice the flagrant signs of her screaming instinct.

When her vision suddenly blurs and there is a searing pain that is scuttling through her muscles, she fumbles towards the side path and collapses underneath a large maple tree. The weakness quickly spreads, momentarily incapacitating her and receding as briskly as it appeared. And it does not stop. Back, forth, back, forth. Her muscles twitches as a wave of pressure builds, as if she is being clamped down by an unseen physical force. When the heaviness releases, the respite lasts five seconds, decreasing in time intervals before the heaviness continues to linger.

The strange feeling is not reminiscent of the indispose feeling she has been so used to, rather, a newly accrued yet artificial sensation that almost feels like it has been deliberately implanted into her.

_A poison?_

She leans heavily against the tree trunk, the heaviness of an invisible energy pressing uncomfortably against her chest. Perhaps she should try searching for any potential poisons in her system?

For the next ten minutes, she scans frantically with her chakra, aware that its levels have depleted immensely, and that her body's capacity to regenerate is minimal. Her chakra has been dipping lower and lower since her first encounter with those strange dreams she now knows as her memories.

She is not as strong and physically resilient as she used to be.

_Maybe that explains why I couldn't detect the poison?_

She is deathly sure this new, artificial weakness is some sort of advance poison.

A noise suddenly interrupts her speculative muse. Abruptly she turns fearfully, scanning the environment in the hopes of catching the culprit. But the trees rustle ever so serenely, as if the sound was a hallucination and her sanity is being tested.

Only several moments later, she hears sudden swift like movements followed by heavy hands to her body.

"Tracked you this far," says an oily voice.

Those men from the restaurant, led by their revolting leader.

His face suddenly comes so close to hers, she winces automatically and hits the back of her head against the tree trunk.

"You see, I don't tolerate being dismissed like that. But I was patient, particularly when there is an innocent, beautiful woman who happens to be a medic. It's very useful, medics that is, amping up a shinobi's survival rates by almost what, ninety-percent?"

And that decaying smell from his breath makes her silently gag.

"A bit brazen of you with those stats, boss," one of his comrade says.

The other men are watching her with a level of menace she has never seen before, as if she is a filthy object only to be used at their disposable.

Their leader waves an airy hand in their direction.

"No, no, no. I know a good medic when I see one. She is definitely good. Do you know why?"

The others shake their heads in unison.

"Because I saw her with those damn Akatsuki. If such organisation deems a medic worthy enough to be their medical ninja, then that is good enough for me."

"I'll never serve you!" Rin cries.

The man slowly turns to face her, as if the midst of his actions would shake away her refusal.

"I'll pretend I heard nothing. I politely offered you the chance to say yes, you blatantly refused. I hate people saying no to me. You had your chance, I need to be more forceful with you. So now, you follow us back and serve us well."

"You're better off killing me now, or I can do the deeds with my medical treatment," she says fiercely.

The weakening sensation still sits heavily against her, but it has not progressed, nor subsided.

"Really feisty aren't you? More than I thought. I told you I like a feisty woman. You should use that when I bed you, it would make things a lot more fun," he says slyly.

And Rin turns away in disgust. She would rather die than allow him to mangle her body.

"You are a foul, dirty pig and I will never-"

The blow cuts her sentence short. The man has slapped her so hard, her lips bleed and her cheek bruises from the force.

And rather being angry at the situation, she is furious with herself. For being so weak and useless. But the enragement traces back to her stupidity seventeen years ago, of accepting a futile offer in exchange for slavery.

"Women should know when to keep their mouths shut," the man growls, "they are just an impediment to a man's duties. A woman is just as good as how she pleasures him and how obedient she is to his commands and…"

Rin has tuned out of the man's misogynistic rants, as if she has given up on her dire situation and has succumbed to the inauspicious circumstance.

She barely reacts when he presses a beefy hand to her throat, and then plunges his other hand into her blouse. But even if she had the willpower, the poison in her system is so incredibly overpowering, she can barely move from her position. Together with the indispose feeling that is her memory's return, she is almost incapacitated.

But despite this, her own body has some element of pride, because she is struggling automatically against the man's heinous actions of assault.

When he attempts to press his mouth to hers, she forcibly turns her cheek, only to have them held down with such vigorous force, she whimpers in pain. He tries again with more accuracy, and that rotting, offensive breath hits her hard, a stale smell of sick and something else she cannot pin down.

"I know a woman's purity when I see one," he heaves, "Can I say that's a special ability I have?"

He laughs cunningly, and his comrades join in on the comment.

"And even if I don't, who cares right?" He continues, "But such soft skin, this one is definitely pure."

With one forceful pull, he tears half the fabric of her blouse from her shoulder to reveal the delicate paleness of her breasts. Only slightly hidden by her undergarments, it does not dissuade the man from reaching through and seizing a handful of soft flesh. And when she attempts to push his hand away, he slaps her violently across the other side, pinning her wrists together in a savage grip so she cannot move.

"P-Please stop," she utters.

The bruising pain courses through, yet not once this entire time has a drop of tear fallen from her, as if it has dried out from the many months of pain and suffering.

"Did you hear that? She's begging for mercy!" The man cries sadistically.

But when he receives no answer, he stops abruptly in his actions and turns around. His comrades have miraculously disappeared, all three of them.

Then a hand on the back of his collar tightens and he is being hurled backwards with such incredible force, his entirety goes through at least ten thick tree trunks.

It takes Rin several moments to register Tobi's sudden appearance, as if she is floating in a surrealistic reality and has yet to be expelled from its trance.

Tobi's slow footsteps reaches the impaled man, the dozen large branches protruding grotesquely from his body. And the blood seeps through in an excruciatingly unhurried pace, the sickly dripping sound increases as he leans down and picks the man up in one hand by the throat.

"If Kakuzu does not deal with you soon, I will," he says quietly, "and you wouldn't want that."

There is so much anger and hatred in his gaze, death is inevitable to those who sees it. And Rin has never seen him like this before. She does not recognise the person standing before her, nor the flagrant darkness that is now emitting so strongly from him.

He throws the man carelessly to the side before turning to face Rin.

For a brief moment her heart stops, the fear is so stark, her previously immobilised body suddenly shuffles to hug herself protectively in a futile attempt to quell the tremors. She is afraid of him, that lingering darkness that is so spiteful, she feels the malevolent entity crawling its way towards her. There is no mercy in his gaze, the fleeting expression far from amicable.

But then it briefly softens.

When he approaches, she expected him to say something demeaning, that she should have heeded his warning and that she deserved the assault. But all he does is kneel beside her and pull her into a comforting embrace. She does not respond to his actions despite her surprise, but she lets her body slacken, to assimilate the warmth of his security.

Then the entire world distorts.


	68. Antidote

The poison is still actively patrolling her insides, now identified as an insidious odourless toxin that weakens her body and sucks her chakra dry. Rin has never encountered such an elaborate concoction before, but either she was too inattentive to notice or she has yet to determine its unscrupulous mode of transmission.

When Tobi lays her on the bed, she automatically stiffens at the contact, as if her body is still anticipating the next stage of assault and she is viciously rebelling against any association. But she is still so severely incapacitated, the autonomous flinch barely constitutes a brief movement.

Tobi keeps his distance, as if he is uncertain of what to do, or how she may react if he stands too close. But at the exact same moment, they glance at her left lower leg, which has now turned a nasty shade of red-blue and steadily spreading in surface area.

"I need to extract that poison," Tobi says.

He sounds hesitant, awkward even, but there is a component of solemness to his tone.

"I don't want your help," she quivers.

And she is vulnerable, afraid of him, frightened at the prospect at what he may do if he steps too close. She would let death take her if it means she does not have to deal with Tobi.

_"Are you running away?" Her conscious asks._

Perhaps she is.

"But you need it," he says ruefully.

"Just let me be," she retorts shrilly, "I told you not to follow me."

"I was not."

When Rin keeps quiet, he continues to speak brusquely, as if trying to convey the entire message across in case she interrupts him.

"They were watching you for a long time, from perhaps when we first entered Cascades Town. I didn't realise the extent they would go to get you on their team. I guess I so happened to cross paths with them before they interrogated you, and I knew they had ulterior motives. They were watching you the whole time. I couldn't just stand there and…"

He trails off awkwardly, as if attached to that last sentence is a convoy of emotions reserved only for a boy who has a crush on a girl. Childish as it is, Rin's hard expression softens slightly, albeit she is still incredibly cautious.

And from somewhere behind him, he takes out a medical kit alongside items she cannot identify from her position. He keeps a brief watch on her, as if embarrassed about the situation.

"Please let me help you," he says quietly, and he is looking nervously at the ground.

Rin has never seen this side of Tobi before, almost as if this is a part of his true personality that has been savagely repressed. And his demeanour is uncomfortable, unsure, a slight tinge of red lining his cheeks.

"No matter," she says lowly.

It is a passive invitation for him to treat her, so when he tentatively approaches, Rin can already sense the discomfort that is emanating from him.

They remain silent as he extracts the poison. Tobi is precise with his chakra control, an element that surprises her. Perhaps it is because she has never seen him use chakra before, but he is seemingly well trained in first aid. However, he falls short on the intricacies of deeper extractions, and when he accidentally hits his chakra against healthy cells, she lets out a soft whimper.

"Sorry," he says quickly.

He glances uncertainly at her, as if to determine the level of damage he has caused. When she does not answer, he takes it as a cue of reassurance.

"I'll still be leaving," Rin says, and her voice is small yet forceful.

Tobi hesitates momentarily, but then relaxes back into her dressings.

"You do what you need to do," he answers without looking at her.

His demeanour is stilted, an element of self-control evident across his dispirited features as he concentrates on the first aid.

"You won't stop me on the way out," she says.

"No."

"Or follow me."

"No."

"Even if I am being attacked."

This time he stops mid-action, as if the unsettling comment perturbed his perfect composure of the situation.

"I cannot promise you that," he says forcibly.

"Why can't you just stay out of it, we parted ways already, we can part again!" she says incredulously.

"I won't be taking front row seats and watch you falter if that's a better explanation," he answers earnestly.

"I don't need you protecting me," she breathes.

"No, perhaps not, but I will," he pauses with a fleeting glance in her direction, "even if it costs me my life."

The bewildered expression does not hit her until seconds after. She stares at him intensively, as if seeking to fathom such a profound statement.

The silence does not shift between them, and it lingers unremittingly in the air like a dense ball of tension intermixed with confusion.

"I need to get your antidote," Tobi says eventually, "Please don't move too much."

He does not give her time to respond before disappearing for the door, almost as if the silence affected him and his eagerness to leave the room is evident in his abrupt departure.

x

Rin cannot stand the feeling of uncleanliness. In this instance, it has been exacerbated by her traumatic ordeal. The need to clean everything off, from the actual dirt to the horrendous lingering smell of those men, becomes increasingly desperate.

Tobi has not returned after an hour, so she decides to take matters into her own hands and fall into the enrapturing warmth of a healing herbal bath.

Though the poison is mostly out her system and she is able to regain some motion, there is still an element of weakness lingering inside. Whether it is the indispose feeling of returning memories or the minute traces of poison, she cannot tell.

But the water makes her feel better, and it has numbed the pain of the earlier events. Her mind has not come to terms with what happened. The vulnerability will hit sooner or later, but for the time being, she has automatically suppressed all thoughts.

And it is only sometime later that she hears movement from the inn room, followed by a soft tap on the bathroom door.

"Rin, I cannot give you your antidote if you are in there," Tobi's muffled voice calls.

And she is not at the least unsettled by her impending action.

"Well then you'll have to come in here and give it to me," she says.

There is silence, then,

"You know I cannot do that," he answers slowly.

"That's not my problem then."

She is taunting him and perhaps without realising, but she is so incredibly numb, she does not have the will to submit to any orders.

There is a long sigh of resignation followed by the sound of an open door.

Rin is lying almost flat on her back, save her head, which is hovering ever so delicately atop the water. And the water is coloured with soap bubbles, an element good enough to cover her naked body. And it may be this that Tobi's face looks slightly relieved.

With hands that are palpably composed from shaking, he removes the antidote and attaches the vial to a thin needle. And when he is kneeling before the bath tub, there is a strange look of concern flickering his gaze.

"I'll need your leg," he says bluntly.

And he raises the antidote as an indicator of his imminent action. But Rin does not immediately comply. Perhaps she enjoys taking her sweet time, or tormenting him. Either way, there is a level of restiveness in Tobi's demeanour as he gives her a brief reproachful glance.

"Take it," she says airily.

"It's in the water," he replies with rising displeasure.

She sticks out her lower half of one leg towards him, carelessly flicking a tidal wave of water at him as she rests her leg on the tub's edge.

He does not seem perturb by her actions, perhaps there is a component of allayment that he can finally give her the antidote.

It takes only two seconds to administer the medication, but Rin continues to make things difficult. Her leg slides back and forth into the water when the needle is close to her skin, and Tobi lets out a small frustrated groan every time.

"Quit that won't you?" he says exasperatedly.

She stifles a laugh, the amused look on her face earning a disapproving frown from him.

Eventually, she complies and Tobi looks slightly mollified, albeit rather ruffled from her uncooperativeness.

When he stands back from her, the speculative gaze she gives him is wistful. His hair and face is now partially wet from the ensuing battle with her unwillingness for compliancy. And she finds the sight rather enticing, the urge to run her fingers through his hair and unstick the wet strands clinging to his forehead is profound.

"Have you ever seen a naked woman before?" Rin asks curiously.

Her arms pushes back and forth against the resistance of water, as if she is paddling in a deep pool. She enjoys the distraction, and her question is rather inappropriate for such situation. But her mind is delirious and she does not seem to make sense of her own thoughts.

"I don't see how that matters," Tobi says dubiously.

"Why were you hesitant walking in here and giving me the antidote?"

Tobi gives her a reticent look before repacking the medication.

"That would be quite disrespectful of me to deliberately walk in on a woman taking a bath," he answers pragmatically.

"I give you permission," she says lightly.

He frowns.

"I don't know what you are saying."

And she sits up just as he briskly turns away.

"Not sure if you are being deliberate on those words," Rin says.

"I'll leave you in peace now-"

And Rin is already standing up, the water dripping and sliding delicately down her body as she steps from the water.

Tobi refuses to look in her direction, but she has no interest in engaging with him whatsoever. The towel hugs against her as she disappears into the bedroom door, leaving a very bemused Tobi behind.

x

Moments later, he leaves Rin to her solitude, briefly stating his intention to return with a missing item. Then he swiftly departs, as if he is eager to erase his presence from existence.

She is uncertain of Tobi's impending actions, but she briefly welcomes the isolation. And though her thoughts remain obscured by a physical numbness, there is a sensation of unease that is settling somewhere in her chest.

The injuries she sustained from the assault has now transpired into a dull pulsating ache. She is sure they will surface in the form of raw red and a multitude of blue and purple.

Her chakra is incredibly low, a factor that fuels the frustration that she cannot tend to herself and is forced to be reliant on Tobi - the very person she so wants to distance herself from.

But her irateness is only what the outside world can perceive. Deep down in the very depths of her soul, she relishes in his presence, every part of her longs for his kisses, his alluring touch, that mysterious security he gives her when he is near.

But she would never want to admit to this. It leaves her vulnerable and frightened, yet safe and reassured. Heaven help her with such contradictions.

In the next hour, Rin has taken refuge beneath the warmth of sheets. And it is oddly sterile, as if Tobi has not once touched a thread on this bed.

Grimacing in pain, she lays down and forces herself to close her mind from Tobi, but then the horrific events of today crawls through and so thinking of him is the only way she feels relief. And she hates the minuscule options she has, as if she has absolutely zero pride, and she is forced to succumb to the weakness like a poor defenceless woman.

As she lays in the quietude, she feels a knotting sensation from somewhere in her stomach, and it rises gradually in the form of a repulsive nausea. It spreads to her arms and legs, her fingers have gone numb, and her heart beats at an erratic pace.

As if her mind has become confused and is no longer connected to her body, she cannot pull these strange bodily sensations to a standstill. The apprehension rises, and it is only in that moment that she understands.

It is nothing malicious in the form of poisons or the indispose feelings of returning memories, but a set of more cruel emotions -  _anxiety_.

And she tries to make sense of its occurrence, but the uncertainty and the claustrophobic options is stalling her thought processes.

No, it is not.

That  _is_  the anxiety. The helplessness, defenceless feelings of limited freedom, the assault, the emotional turmoil, the anger, have all intertwined to lock her in position until she dies in her own pool of fear.

"I'm so afraid," she whispers into the stillness.

And alone.


	69. Secure

Rin is unsure of her emotions upon Tobi's return. Part of her wishes he would turn away and leave her to ruminate, but a bigger part wants his presence because her basis for security and comfort is limited to just him.

And he is glancing uncertainly in her direction, as if deciphering whether she is asleep.

"One of these days, I will find out how you keep getting into the room without making a single noise," Rin mutters from the bed.

Disregarding her comment, Tobi moves to turn on the bedside lamp, illuminating the small space in a dim glow. And there is almost a humorous expression on his face, as if he has been stifling a laugh.

"They did not have this when I got the antidote so I had to go elsewhere," he says, and he lifts a small silver jar of something that looks like ointment from his pocket, "But I had to administer the antidote first before I go searching," he adds.

"You went searching for that?" Rin asks inquisitively.

His watch briefly scans the bruise and scratch marks on her arms, neck and shoulders, and there is an intense, yet passive component of anger in his features.

"Yes, it is good," he says softly, "the next best thing after an exceptional medical nin."

He gives her a small smile of regard, an action that sears her cheeks with reddish embarrassment.

"I will live, they're just minor ailments," she says quickly.

"You'll let me help, won't you?"

The pleading in his voice is so stark, she can feel the hurt and resentment behind it.

Her expression softens. She moves to the edge of the bed as a signal of relent, and when he sits beside her, she automatically slides the straps of her nightdress from her shoulders.

The blue-purple bruises are distinct against the paleness of her skin. It is scattered across her arms and chest like splattered ink, the marks a horrific resemblance of the painful assault she had endured. Yet her mind is unusually relaxed, and perhaps it is Tobi's presence that is drawing such negativity away from her.

The look on his face as he surveys the multitude of injuries is almost speculative. But she can rarely fathom his emotions. Perhaps he is thinking of something else.

His touch is something she secretly revels in, and though it is purely out of a medical context, she cannot help but appreciate the gentleness and the comfort that is increasingly transpiring into other more indecent sensations. He does not linger too long on each mark, but there is a brief glint behind his gaze as his fingers move to the next bruise without taking his touch from her.

But his temperament changes the instant he progresses to the delicate area of her neck. There is an uncontaminated convoy of austere emotions the further he continues. And she is deathly scared of his demeanour, as if she does not want to be in his presence when he is so clearly thinking of something that is perhaps just as malevolent as her master's actions.

And Rin knows she needs to leave, but no longer can she utilise a large portion of her ninjutsu skills or even her evasive abilities. Her chakra has permanently depleted to an incredibly low level, and the more her memory returns, the more vulnerable she would be.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you earlier," Tobi says.

His comment breaks her reverie as she brusquely glances at him in puzzlement.

"Why are you apologising? I got into this situation myself," she answers grimly.

"I promised myself I'd protect you," he says hollowly.

"Quite a presumptuous promise there, considering I was going to leave, unless you had in mind to follow me wherever I go."

Her voice is cold and stiff. Though she is aware of his good intentions, she cannot help but feel coddled by his actions. She is an independent woman who is used to fending for herself, yet even in dire times, there is an element of pride that gets her into deeper trouble than she can imagine.

When Tobi looks overtly defeated, a sudden stab of guilt hits her. Why is she like this?

_"Because being otherwise will get you into another string of emotional turmoil," her conscience says._

"Sorry, I didn't mean it in a condescending way," she says ruefully.

Tobi looks to her, his expression considerably lighter, but a hint of grimness continues to persist across his features.

"Don't apologise, you have every right to feel the way you do and I won't deny the fact that I've hurt you more than enough," he replies contritely.

His expression of regret hits her harder than expected. Perhaps Tobi does not come across as someone who would be remorseful for his wrongdoings. But in the past few hours, she has seen a different side to him. And this repressed personality is something she closely associates with the real Tobi.

"I'm sure you have your reasons," she says.

"That isn't an excuse."

Their conversation stalls momentarily. The silence unperturbed but conjectural between them.

"I've missed you," Tobi says quietly, and he is looking anywhere but at her.

Two weeks ago, Rin would have given anything to hear such tender words from him. And though she has built some emotional wariness in the past few days, there is still an element of desire reserved only for him.

"I think that is all I can see," he says, finishing up with the medical application, "Although, I don't know if there are anymore further…"

He swiftly glances the top of her cleavage, an almost stilted expression crossing his features.

"I think there are," she answers softly.

"Did you want to do it?"

He hands her the jar without looking.

"No."

And without awaiting his response, she slides the dress to her waist, the soft fullness of her breasts reflecting a delicate glow against the dimness of lighting.

There is apprehension in Tobi's watch, the nervous look he gives her a signification that he likes what he sees. But behind that darkened gaze, she sees the same austere emotions, and it rises ever so dangerously when his fingers lightly grazes the bruised mark that is so stark against the paleness of her breast.

And he breathes deeply to quell the obvious indignation of such ailment, as if revenge may not be enough to satisfy what those men had done to her.

He is light with the application, not once does he falter against the harsh injuries. Perhaps because it is done on such an alluring part of her body, but it seems he too is relishing in the sweet moment of this unspoken intimacy.

When Tobi completes the treatment, Rin takes his hand and presses it firmly to her chest. His skin is warm against hers, a palliative sensation she seeks to utilise as a subjugation to the emotional and physical pain of trauma. And his fingers splays against her in response, encapsulating the voluptuous softness in his hand before gently caressing in a delicate motion.

"Rin, you are so beautiful," he says softly.

And though the bruising pain continues to beat uncomfortably, the gratifying movement of his touch has overtaken the affliction in a swirl of pleasure.

"Will you make the pain go away?" She asks.

The words were automated, a clear yet passive invitation for escape.

He stares at her in scepticism, the level of discomfort steadily rising across his face as he lets go of her. And she regrets that broken contact, the surge of dull bruising pain quickly transpiring.

"Please make me forget about what happened. I don't want to be alone," she continues brokenly.

"I won't take advantage of your state," he replies warily.

"And if you are not, what will you do?"

The question is more out of inquisitiveness than anything that represents an underlying motive. But instead of answering, he moves closer until he is holding her face in his hands.

"Rin, please stay."

"I would," she whispers, "would you?"

Those last words have escaped in an unsettling tone, as if there is so much mistrust and bitterness in it.

But he gives her a small nod at her questioning.

"You can show me then," she says.

And though there is a strong element of fear behind his gaze, the rest of him speaks otherwise.

His kiss is soft and gentle, and if anything, she so wants to lose herself in a safe, secure world, a world where only he can give her.


	70. Innocence

In moments like this, time is a precious commodity. But the adrenaline rush she gets does not necessarily indicate urgency.

Outside the singular window comes the gentle fall of rain, its sound delicately swaying rhythmically against the lightness of wind. There is no moon and no stars. The clouds are dark and heavy, but the atmosphere is strangely weightless, as if the incongruous elements of the sweet air inside the inn room is fenced by the window.

Tobi is still kissing her, his touch mild and subdued. Rin does not force change, except when she takes his hand, he suddenly leans in and kisses her deeply.

And she is instantly mesmerised by the sudden avidity, her mind assimilating the ruggedness of hard muscles beneath her hand. Then she is sliding the cloak from his shoulders, keeping focus on the intimacy as she roughly strips him of his shirt.

Saturated in vehemence, Tobi does not let the brief second break from unclothing last long. When his mouth collides with hers the second time, his arms encircles her in a tight possessive embrace. And when her body is sliding against him, he lets out a rough groan of satisfaction. Her sensitivity heightens without material barriers, and though she can feel the incredibly well formed planes of his chest, she can also feel the unnaturalness of artificial skin between the jagged formation of numerous scars.

When Tobi breaks from her, he is cupping her face in his hands, his forehead pressed lovingly against hers.

"Sweet Rin," he breathes softly.

Maybe it is the way his lips are curving in a timid smile or the way his eyes are responding with such enigmatic excitement, but she suddenly feels a surge of exhilarating passion coursing through.

In one swift movement, he slides both dress and undergarment from her body so that she is sitting naked before him. And self-consciousness instantly settles, the heated sensation of his intense stare tunnels its way through as she wraps her arms around herself. When he pries them away from her body, the searing flush across her cheeks is palpable.

"I want to see you," he says.

Momentarily she complies, until the feelings of embarrassment soars and she is pinning herself against him in an attempt to cover herself.

"You're depriving me," he groans.

And she stifles a giggle into his shoulder. His intoxicating scent is remarkably enticing, as if she is floating through a mysterious sultry world of fervour. It lingers in her nose and spreads a doting feeling of intimacy throughout her body.

Ever so delicately, he runs a hand down her back, gently stroking in ambiguous patterns that is so reminiscent of an abstract artwork. The warmth infiltrates her, a persistent sensation of need dusting the very surface of her skin.

When she pulls from him, he is gazing wistfully at her, as if he too is lost in the mesmerising trance.

"I've never been up close to a man before," Rin says inquisitively.

Her eyes assimilates the smooth surface of muscles that is so evident across his broad chest. Comparatively to him, she is miniscule.

And she finally sees the intermeshed substance of Senju cells that are intricately merged with the very scarred and damaged right side of his body. As her fingers lightly brushes the area, Tobi suddenly flinches uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry, did that hurt?" She says as her hand swiftly withdraws.

"No," he breathes, "It's fine, I just…"

He trails off hesitantly.

When Rin continues to stare, he glances sheepishly at her before speaking.

"An odd feeling I suppose."

And instantly, she understands.

"Have you never been touched like this before?"

He is looking uneasy.

"No."

She gives him a small smile of assurance before reaching for him again. The intact skin on his left side is warm beneath her fingers. She can feel the gentle beat of his heart as her hand moves to caress the surface of even skin. And though his body is heavily marred, she can still appreciate the beauty it exudes.

When she leans in for a second embrace, she lets her torso slide against him, the feel of his hard chest a sensuous contrast between the softness of her breasts. Tobi revels in her action, his arm encircling her protectively as one hand digs through the silky strands of her hair. He kisses the edge of her shoulder before moving towards the side of her neck. And he is careful, the bruises still pulsates ever so bitterly, but he works around them so delicately, it ignites a pleasurable sensation of need through her.

"Tobi?" She whispers.

He withdraws, a frown of concern etched across his features, as if he has done something to hurt her.

"Please stay," she continues.

And his expression softens.

"I won't go anywhere."

The hesitancy is brief before he kisses her again, and this time, the desperation to satisfy the unappeasable thirst for desire is flagrant. Eager to feel his entirety, her hands move to unclothe him completely before gripping his shoulders and bringing him down with her to the bed. And she welcomes his weight, the domineering position a fuelling factor to the ferociousness of such heated intimacy.

His lips have now moved to the side of her neck and across to the sensitive hollow of her collarbone. The cascade of zealous kisses he gives is like a cage full of enigmatic ardour. And it intensifies into something beyond euphoria when he progresses down to trace the underside of her breast.

She can feel the warmth of his breathing against her skin as his tongue lightly flicks back and forth against the pink crest. When he encloses it in his mouth, she lets out a raspy cry of enjoyment that saturates the air with impassioned arousal.

Perhaps it is the gentle-vicious like sucking motion, or the sensuous jolt of excitement when he playfully bites down on her, but her physical state is contradictory, like the anomalous beating of her heart paired with the steady, even intake of her breathing. Again she revels in the sweet action when he repeats it on her other side, his kisses light when it returns to graze the swollen tender peaks, palliating the pain he so viciously caused as a result of his undying desperation to please her.

For several moments, he lays his head against her abdomen, silently breaking the stillness when he moves to level with her. She takes the opportunity to hold his face, her searching gaze surveying the stark mixture of undulated scars and smooth skin. Though he looks incredibly formidable, there is a coveted gentleness concealed behind his rough exterior. She wonders how many people have gotten the privilege to hold this incredible person so closely.

"Tobi," she whispers.

He is now busying himself with kissing her forehead, his entirety pressing firmly against hers as the movement reinforces the lingering restless feeling in her middle.

"Tobi, how many women have you been with?"

He frowns at her inquisitive comment.

"Why does that matter?" He asks swiftly, but he does not await her response before resuming his exploration.

She holds his arms to halt him.

"I'm curious, tell me," she says.

And he surveys her with a dubious expression before speaking hesitantly.

"Many," he says lightly, "but only you matter."

He gives her a smile that heartens her need for him. And though she is slightly intimidated by the level of experience he possesses, it also does not preclude the rising level of jealousy that so many women have gotten to him before her.

The small nod she gives him is an invitation for his deep kisses, the action vanquishing all discomforting thoughts. Perhaps she is lost in the enchantment of his touch, or the passionate intimacy that is finally happening between them, but she is vaguely aware of the sudden familiar sensation against her entry.

Her eyes flutter open and Tobi is watching her in a peculiar manner. His fingers have somehow made its way into her, and she is giving him a speculative look in response.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He says softly.

There is an element of apprehension to his tone as he frowns in puzzlement.

"Don't stop," she breathes.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Please don't stop."

His expression lightens uncertainly, but there is also a look of longing behind his watch.

Without wavering from her, he gently parts her legs with his knee. Alongside his wistful gaze, there is another more powerful emotion that she finds inscrutable. Something that compels her to stare back with such immense potency, she feels as if she is looking into the depths of his dejected, reticent soul.

Slowly he leans in, pressing against the softness of her warmth whilst an internal conflict between her heart and her mind rages on, each determined to protect her in its own ways. Physically, her body is nervous, tense, agitated, a state only her mind is responsible for. But it is her heart that is forcing her composure, desperately wanting to feel every inch of him, his security and the surrendering of his vulnerabilities. And it is these thoughts and desires that are allowing her body to relax, to feel the explicable affection, and to brace herself as a surge of pain begins to well in the area.

Not for the first time, she is cursing her innocence, afraid that the unbearable pain would destroy the desire that has been building tirelessly between them. And Tobi maybe reading her thoughts because he is staring curiously, toning down his action and allowing her to breathe.

"Are you okay?"

She nods.

So he resumes the action whilst she holds on to his shoulders, taking deep steady breaths as he moves deeper. Then he slides his hand to her waist, the gaze he gives her is sentimental, yet so incredibly fearful.

"Rin, I'm so sorry, please forgive me," he whispers resentfully.

In one forceful move, he advances into her fully, his arms moving to embrace her as she lets out an agonising cry. The pain is so excruciating, like a searing, burning sensation that escalates in intensity with every passing second.

She has never felt so much discomfort in her life, as if her muscles are being ripped from the inside as it stretches to accommodate him.

Her breathing is heavy, erratic, her lungs greedy for every molecule of oxygen to ease the hefty ache that is very slowly starting to subside.

"Rin, I'm so sorry," Tobi says, and he is kissing her as he repeats the apology over and over.

But underlying the blatant agony, she feels so close and connected to this wonderful person, as if a part of her empty soul is suffused with an immeasurable amount of hope and security.

Lying there, she can almost hear the sound of their heartbeats out loud, how deafening the silence between them is and how much passion and rapture saturates the air.

Gradually the searing pain subsides, leaving behind a strange yet exhilarating feeling of physical lust.

"Is that all to it?" Rin whispers curiously.

Tobi surveys her in bewilderment before letting out a short laugh.

"If you want it to be," he answers.

"Is there more to it? Show me," she demands.

And he gives her a brief frown of uncertainty before tentatively complying.

His movements are slow and gentle, allowing her body all the time it needs to accustom itself to the uncomfortable invading and re-invading motion.

Experimentally, her legs move to intertwine around his, her body shifting with graceful demure as she arches up to meet his in a stimulating touch.

Gradually the momentum of his action increases. He sits up slightly, bracing himself on one arm so that his lower body is angled before lifting her waist to deepen the joining between them. At that very moment, the insurmountable pleasure begins to materialise in the form of her shuddering body, the highly tenacious grip that is digging into his shoulders and perhaps the uncontainable gasps of gratification.

Tobi's initial response is passive, tender, the level of concentration in subduing aggression flagrant across his face. But the more she involuntarily reciprocates, the faster his level of control diminishes.

Forcibly, she tries to remain conscious and aware of her responses, but because her heart and body is so engrossed in this intimacy, there is not a single remnant of rational judgment left.

So she just lets him, her arms holding onto him as he relinquishes all control, allowing his aggression and merciless lovemaking to take over.

In a contradictory act, her soft moans and pained whimpers become highly intermeshed, the feelings of satiable pleasure at his deep contact paired with the pain of his vicious forceful thrusts.

The exasperation and sheer anger for the lack of control becomes conspicuously apparent on his face. But in between these rancorous emotions, there is a different kind of desperation, like the accrual of repressed loneliness and the impalpable need to be wanted.

His release appears to be more out of despair and caustic dissatisfaction than anything, as if he deliberately let it go to swiftly end the action.

When he withdraws from her, the mixture of tears and sweat on his face is stark against the dim light, his features becoming an exhibit for a multitude of bitter emotions.

Her eyes move to watch his languid body, his head inclined as he runs a hand frustratingly through his hair. There is a distinctive level of shame and guilt deluging his features, yet he does not turn to face her.

Slowly and painfully, she sits up, her breathing slow and steady whilst her heart is beating erratically against her chest. She reaches for him, her fingers lightly brushing his shoulder as he flinches violently at her touch.

"I'm sorry," Tobi whispers brokenly.

Then he turns to face her, his eyes lingering in sceptical discontentment as his gaze traces the line of red that is now trickling down her right thigh.

"Dammit!" he says angrily.

"Come here," she says quietly.

When he does not move, Rin shuffles over, her arms encircling his waist and pressing her chest against his back.

"Can you…hold me?" she continues tentatively, "Please?"

Almost instantaneously he turns around, pulling her into a possessive embrace, and allowing their trembling bodies to rest against each other. They stay in that position for a long time. The tender quietude and warmth of their proximity becomes a temporary temple, briefly alleviating the hurt and resentment that is cloaking their minds.

Once he lets go of her, the kiss he gives is so sweet and  _loving._

"Rin, I promise I'll take the pain away, will you let me?" he asks softly, and he is pressing her gently against the soft sheets.

"Always," she whispers.

His hand, so deft and cunning, runs the length of her body, stopping just below her ribcage to lightly draw equivocal patterns across her abdomen.  
Gradually, his head follows his hand in a downward journey, resting against the soft curls of her middle before leisurely running his fingers up and down, gently stroking until he gets an inundated response from her.

In an act that completely baffles her, he leans forward to press his lips against the heat between her thighs, feeling a new and unfamiliar sensation of pleasure rippling through.

_What is he doing?_

Why is he…he kissing her there? He can't be serious!

"Tobi, what are you doing?" she murmurs softly,

Her hand moves to grip his hair and thereby halting his action.

"You'll like it, trust me," he replies quietly.

So he resumes the action and it feels so bizarre and so good at the same time she cannot pin down the right words to this alien feeling. Fortunately for her, he seems to be on track with keeping to his promise, because the searing pain endured by his recent brutality is beginning to fade.

When he lets go of her, it is so he can kiss her, sweetly, adoringly,  _greedily_ , running his fingers lightly through her hair before sliding his arm to repose underneath her head. With his free hand, he brings her leg to his side, bracing his upper weight on his preoccupied arm before sliding into her, this time with delicious ease.

Their sighs sync simultaneously, a new surge of pleasure and ecstasy coursing through in tandem as their bodies begin to respond with a ferocious level of vigour.

As he leans in to kiss her, his movements become harder and faster, surfeit with immense zeal and avidity to transcend gratification, but not aggressive enough to classify brutality.

And Rin decides to experiment with her body, syncing with his actions by lifting her hips to deepen the contact between them.

Eventually she times with him perfectly, the satisfactory sensation of pleasure becomes stark, intense and  _unsurpassable_. It rises ever so slowly before coursing through her at a rapid pace. As she nears her climax, he continues to take her beyond the realms of euphoria.

"Oh…" she sighs heavily.

And it is seemingly that incoherent whisper and the soft sigh of her release that allows him to join her in the fleeting moments of ecstasy.


	71. Reconfirm

It is the transient moment when Tobi's expression contorts into guilt and bitter regret that darkens the mood. Rin can never deduce his inscrutable thoughts against such spiteful emotions. But it seems every act of intimacy elicits resentment, as if he knows something is wrong but does it anyway because it feels so right.

When he turns to face her, he is smiling, so forcibly, so  _deceitfully_   _sincere_ , it compels her to look away. She hates how he is always trying to appease her in compensation for his unhappiness.

Without questioning his emotional agendas, she lies against his chest, feeling the tranquillising rhythmic beat of his heart and the emanating comfort of his body. Her hand runs ambiguous strokes along the uneven planes of his chest, feeling the stark contrast in warmth as she crosses between the heat of his undamaged skin and the coolness of artificial derma.

The tenacious unease does little deter the small flame of hope that is ever burning within her. Their proximity may be deriding the uncertainty of any further passion between them, but Rin knows it is untrue on Tobi's part that he seeking to build a barrier between them. And she is no longer resentful of his actions.

It is not his mistrust towards her, rather, an element of misgivings he has about his own reasoning and actions. He never tells her, but she reads him well, from the small minute actions of his kindness to the sweet, loving moves of his touch.

No longer does she want to leave his presence, as if a part of her has transferred itself into him, each filling the other's darkened void as a way to fuel their existence. In all her life, she has never thought such feelings can be achieved, or felt. It runs deeper than the element of physicality, transcending even the fragility of emotional affection.

She does not know what this component is. Perhaps it is something she would never discover in the very short amount of time she has with him. And the terrorising concept of time gnaws uncomfortably at her insides. She hates the ideology of an indeterminate existence. But if time did not exist, would that mean actuality is stalled? Her relationship with Tobi would not progress. Perhaps she is wishing for more time?

"You're reminiscing," Tobi says.

She looks to him with a plaintive gaze, an expression that gets him frowning with concern.

"I don't want this moment to end," Rin says.

"Neither."

He turns slightly to embrace her, the smell of his enticing scent stirs another bout of restless yearning in her middle. But she suppresses these lustful advances. Even if she alleviates such agitation, her insatiable need for him would never be fully satisfied. In this moment, she cares more to lay and waste the night with him.

So they remain quiet, the pleasant silence between them evoking a calmative heat to the anxiety and uncertainty associated with their recent intimacy.

"Tobi?"

Rin breaks the quietude, her level of curiosity may be more ravenous than her appetite for another round of lovemaking.

"Why did you decide to reveal your identity to me?" She continues.

He is looking thoughtfully at the ceiling, as if her question proved more difficult to answer than expected.

"I guess I wanted you to see me for who I am, and not someone behind a mask," he replies eventually.

Beneath his answer, there is an element of complexity to it, and perhaps he may not know how to formulate a coherent enough sentence to give her. But she gets the tail end of his reply and it is good enough for her.

"I'm glad you did," she whispers, and she moves to hover on top of him, "I prefer relishing in a sexy face," she adds lightly.

"I wouldn't go that far," he answers softly, and they lean in a simultaneous motion for a sweet, heartened kiss.

When they part, another interesting muse plagues her mind.

"I'm glad too, that you are here and not with Deidara. I would have thought otherwise considering the circumstances that I saw between the two of you."

Tobi gives her another inexplicable look, as if troubled by her sudden comment. Perhaps there is trace of uncertainty or emotional confrontation, but if Rin is ever going to fathom this mysterious person, it is to ask him directly. She won't lose out on the opportunity now that she has him locked in place. But she is also careful not to push him into discomfort.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he answers hesitantly.

"Did you ever like him in that manner?" She pauses, "You know, in a non-physical way-"

"Does that matter?" He interrupts.

His tone is suddenly sharp and wary.

And Rin is staring back at him, wide-eyed with puzzlement.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I just wanted to try and understand you. You know a lot has happened and I'm still in a state of confusion."

He softens.

"Sometimes there isn't a concrete reason for the things that I do, Rin. But I'll do what I can to protect you, and I want you to know that."

"Yes, but I won't interfere if you feel that way about-"

"No, I don't," he interjects firmly, "It's always been you, Rin, and always will be."

Tobi holds her face and kisses her forehead in reassurance. His touch signifies the unspoken truth in his words. She would not doubt the veracity of his comment, and for the very first time tonight, she feels considerably free of any residual fears about his true feelings.

"I'm sorry I doubted you," she whispers.

"I'm sorry I made you doubt me," he answers with equal resentment.

And she lays on him, her head and chest pressed firmly against him, the entrancing feeling of ease transpires as he gently strokes her back.

For an indefinite amount of time, they breathe in the placid quietude, lost in their own worlds and wholly dissociated from reality.

Somewhere, somehow, sometime later, mind adrift but not in movement, Rin's arms have moved to cradle his head against the hollow gap above her shoulder. Her hand is absent-mindedly stroking his hair, an inattentive gaze etched deeply as she attempts to assimilate his unconscious state. Even in sleep, Tobi is still cautious, reserved, as if he is experiencing the same desolation in his world of dreams as he does in this reality.

Leaning in, Rin presses her lips to his forehead, her fingers tracing the pronounced scarring that lines the right side of his face. Tobi does not flinch at her actions, but his body has gone unusually rigid, as if he is still not used to being touched or that his guardedness has become an embedment to his subconscious actions.

Hurt at the possibility of this speculation, Rin turns to her side so that she can hold his head against her chest. And she is clutching him possessively, running warm fingers soothingly through his hair until his body relaxes and his arm unconsciously moves to encircle her in an equally overprotective embrace.

Complacent with this comfort, she allows the distant feelings of actuality to evaporate, slowly opening up to a world where the beauty of abstractness and the captivation of a nonsensical realm envelopes her.

Except, it is far from an enchanting dream.

x

"Rin, don't be afraid."

The voice echoes into the darkened space of nothing. But she feels a tightening grip on her hand. Reassuring, yet feeble.

"Kakashi, take care of Rin," the voice continues.

It sounds weak, weary, tired.

And her hands are now devoid of warmth, the chilling cold of the surrounding darkness piercing her skin like pointed knives through flesh.

"Rin, we need to go now, take my hand!"

The other voice is frantic, yet determined, but she cannot see who is speaking.

"I cannot see, where are you?" She cries frantically.

"Rin, now!"

"You're not here! I can't see you, please, where are you?"

Her hand reaches blindly in front, terrified of the living, breathing darkness.

"Rin…Rin…don't be afraid, I'm here."

The familiar voice calls to her again, rebounding loudly in the blank space and suffusing the atmosphere with a glowing warmth. Her skin prickles hopefully at the sound, her eyes still scanning wildly in the dark.

And she sees someone, lying beside a boulder, his face turned to her in a panic-stricken state. She runs and collapses beside him, her hand reaching to wipe the trail of blood that is now trickling from his empty eye socket.

At the same moment, an excruciating pain sears at her chest in a sickening sensation. In a horrifying scenario, the blood falls fast from her blouse, the movement a perfect sync of the blood dripping from the boy's eye socket.

Fearfully, she lets out a petrified cry, the sound muted by a sudden high-pitched screeching noise of a thousand chirping birds.

When her world turns blank, her hands are now reaching for a source of radiating light, as if something or someone is touching her from an impalpable world she is too deep within her own subconscious to see.

"Rin…Rin!"

The sound is persistent, the shaking incessant, until her mind reluctantly wakes. The image of the boy is still etched firmly to her mind, as if he is still right there with her.

"Rin are you okay?" Tobi says anxiously.

When her eyes open, she is staring at him with so much intrusion, he briefly startles. Then she is holding his face, eyes widening fearfully,  _incredulously,_  the final image of her nightmare still inscribed ever so vividly in her mind.

"You! It was you!" she cries hysterically.

"Rin-"

"It was you all along," she continues feverishly.

_No…it can't be…_

Shaking her head vigorously, she tries to stem the overwhelming feelings of bitter nostalgia. Her consciousness is in an immutable stage of delirium, her mind struggling to contain the intrusive vision as image after image of the devastating event flashes before her.

Her deranged gaze continues to bore into him, her state confirming and reconfirming the stark resemblance of his features to the dying boy she keeps seeing in her nightmares.

"D-Do I know you?" she whispers shakily.

"Why are you asking that?" Tobi answers cautiously, his expression cryptic.

"How did you get your scars?" she asks evasively.

When he does not answer, she continues.

"My nightmares, I'm plagued by a familiar looking boy who died after he was crushed by a falling boulder, and it keeps replaying, again and again, and it won't stop."

She is barely containing another bout of rising hysteria. And for a fleeting moment, Tobi looks horrified, the anxiety and scepticism in his expression morphing into something that is beyond petrifaction.

"I know he's you and I don't know how you survived such a gruesome ordeal but you're here and I can't seem to comprehend how exactly you were connected to me," she says fretfully, "I'm so scared. I don't know what's happening," she adds anxiously.

The sudden comforting embrace drains any further escalation of fear. Tobi holds her against him, his fingers lightly stroking her hair to palliate the pain.

Her erratic breathing subsides, the intrusive thoughts numbed by the security of his presence. And for the first time in a long time, she is weeping in silence.

Perhaps her mysterious connection with Tobi is something her heart cannot assimilate. But she knows, the further she delves into her memories, the closer she is to the truth about this enigmatic person.


	72. Solitude

Every year, Cascades Town hosts a town-wide festival to honour the anniversary of this picturesque place. Today happens to be that day, and though Rin is tempted by the infectious festival spirit, there are other sullen matters occupying her thoughts.

At her request, Tobi has given her solitude following last night's revelation. And though he has offered her the choice of a solo journey, there was an underlying message of hope that she would stay. Her reassurance to remain was the smile she gave him, an act he reciprocated with relief and tenderness.

But despite her decision, she has relinquished her duty as an Akatsuki ally, her preference to remain would not be bounded by the organisation's obligations. And Tobi has accepted this without question before reluctantly parting from her for the day.

When Rin decides to check in on Deidara's health, he is already busying himself with the usual clay moulding. There is artwork strewn all over the floor, his tiny sculptures a ubiquitous presence across the small inn room, including his head, arms and shoulders.

"I'm fine," he mutters without looking at her.

"Then you should be ready to go," she says, and there is deliberation to sabotage his concentration.

"What?" He says quickly, "I'm fine but I'm still not one hundred percent. I need more rest."

Rin gives a small smile, privately acknowledging her well thought out tactic for a better response from him. And she agrees, perhaps he does need another day, but she cannot help enjoy these rare moments of provocation.

"I'll need to check to make sure," she says.

"Can't you do it later, woman? I'm busy here," he says exasperatedly, and he is brandishing his half-made spider sculpture in the air.

"I'm here now, do you think I have time to go back and forth at your beckoning?" She answers irritably.

Her annoyance is genuine, an indicator that Deidara is back to his old irritating self.

So he finally relents and she checks his viral levels, which has depleted to zero.

"I suppose another day would do," she sighs.

"I told you. Okay can you leave now please, I'm busy making masterpieces."

"You'd also have the decency to at least come for your inn's celebratory dinner tonight. Don't be late."

"Yeah, yeah," he makes a waving gesture at her without looking, "I'll come down if there is food, no question. Okay goodbye."

And Rin rolls her eyes in exasperation before departing for the door.

x

That afternoon, she sits by the writing desk and stares reminiscently at the lilac-grey dress she wore on the previous occasion.

Rin had attempted to return it on her way out of town several days ago, but the shopkeeper was adamant she keep it.

"It is a rental dress and I haven't even paid you!" Rin said incredulously.

"I saw you in that dress and I was proud that you wore it as you did. Please accept it as a reminder to love yourself," the shopkeeper answered.

She refused to listen to Rin's protests and hastily moved on to serving the next customer.

Rin would have use for this dress again, and secretly she is grateful for its presence. But she does not like wearing the same dress twice between two close events, so she decides to use the rest of the afternoon to alter it. And though she is not an expert seamstress, she has managed to change the halter style to a slightly off shoulder cut, and of course, close the plunging neckline to emulate a more conservative style. When she tries it on, she is rather pleased with her work.

x

Hunger gets him moving from the bedroom floor, where a monumental collection of recently made masterpieces continue to manoeuvre in minimal space like harassed little ants. Some have decided to migrate to the window sill, their scuttling legs and pesky beaks tapping relentlessly against the glass panes.

Others have snuck off to the bathroom and made themselves comfortable on the inn's fluffy towels. However, a small amount have decided to risk their lives by squeezing themselves underneath the door's crack. Many disintegrated under the pressure, some managed escape.

Deidara has not given a single one permission to explode. He is awaiting the time where he can witness the brief, fleeting moment of their detonation.

But sitting all day in the same spot with little care for any food or water has its consequences. His stomach is churning uncomfortably, an inconvenient distraction yet problematic enough to detract his concentration.

His recent artworks have turned out to be more of a lump of mush than anything remotely discernible. So he gathers the remaining sculptures and scatters them towards the now opened windows. And his eyes closes, bracing himself.

"KATSU!"

The explosive sound hits him like a tidal wave of excitement. The sculptures disintegrate into pieces like little specks of fireworks, and perhaps better than Rin's treatment of his ailment, is the enormous display of sparkling orange, red, white and yellow.

"Art is a blast indeed," he sighs lovingly.

x

Thirty minutes past the celebratory time, he arrives to see Rin already seated and dining. He is about to make a snide remark regarding her perfect punctuality, but then he thinks better of it. Besides, she looks, how should he put this?  _Graceful_.

Odd, considering she does not look any different, but perhaps it is the way she is holding herself or the way she is looking so amicably at him. Either way, her entirety is strangely and alluringly out of sync with the usual fussy like personality he so closely associates her with.

"I was starting to think you may be eating your artwork for dinner," she says mockingly.

"Load it up won't you, hm," Deidara mutters.

He takes a seat beside her, a wave of disappointment saturates his features at the realisation of empty plates.

"Have you all eaten already?" he asks grumpily.

"I told you not to be late, we just finished our first course," Rin answers drily, "Don't make a fuss!" She adds disapprovingly.

Her hand reaches to stop his arm from flagging down the waiter in annoyance.

"Lay off it, woman, I need my food, hm."

"Don't talk rubbish, it was your fault for being late. This is your free dinner so quit being so self entitled," she retorts reproachfully.

"Hold on a second, what do you mean 'your free dinner?'"

"Well, I'm not staying at this inn am I? So I am a paying guest whereas you are not."

Deidara's eyebrows are now furrowed in fierce concentration.

"Wait, you paid to come to  _our_  celebratory dinner?"

This time, it is Rin's turn to look bemused.

"Is that a problem? My inn doesn't seem to realise a major festival is happening around them. I might as well find dinner and join in on the celebrations."

But something in her tone indicates she may not be entirely truthful. And Deidara lets out a long derisive snort at her comment.

"Hate to break it to you but you just sound like a loser."

He sniggers into his drink before catching a brief glimpse of Rin's contemptuous scowl.

"Why are you talking and sitting next to a loser then?" She snaps testily.

This shuts him up instantly. And Rin is looking rather pleased with the self-mollifying retort.

"Well, without food, what am I supposed to do then, steal from the kitchens?" Deidara says.

He is feeling the edginess radiating somewhere from his very empty stomach. Not to mention the remarkable defeat he just endured from Rin's retaliation.

"Don't be silly, just wait for the next course."

"Tche!"

He gives in with a resigned scowl, taking it upon himself to assimilate the environment as he waits.

The space has now filled to the brim with guests. It is a small function room with timber panelling and floorings that have been so well polished, he could see the incredibly smooth surfaces as it gleams against the illumination of chandelier lights.

There are only five tables, each with about ten people seated. The rest of the guests are hovering around the bar where the smell of flavoured sake stenches the air with delirious excitement.

And then, the idea hits him.


	73. Priority

"You sure like to drink a lot," Deidara says.

Rin is on her fifth cupful of sake, her desire to cease drinking is looking remarkably feeble by the minute.

She waves dismissively, looking thoroughly flustered as she gestures the waiter for another round.

"I don't drink all that much but when I do, I can't stop because," she pauses, a hiccup spilling from the back of her throat, "because it makes me unnaturally sociable and happy ha-ha."

He frowns resentfully, a jolt of regret hits him that he should not have tempted her. He was only being thoughtful, a good repayment for her treatment.

"Have you seen Tobi?" He asks.

Deidara has not seen his teammate since their return to Cascades several days ago.

Rin stares past him, a sudden flush of red tunnelling its way through her cheeks, as if something other than alcohol is fuelling the embarrassment in her demeanour.

"Oh…I don't know…"

She sighs deeply, leaning heavily on her palm as a passive dreamy look transpires across her gaze.

And as if reading their conversation, Tobi suddenly appears, his arrival breaking the odd tension between Deidara and Rin.

"Sempai, I think you're missing something," Tobi says.

He plants himself beside Deidara before pulling out several spider sculptures from his pocket. They squirm and twist uncomfortably in his grip, as if desperate to be set free before Deidara decides to explode them.

When Rin leans over to scrutinise, she lets out an exaggerated gasp.

"You're killing them, Tobi! Let go!" she exclaims.

There is a wild look to her, as if she is frantically searching for a source of danger that does not exist.

Deidara scowls in disparagement, uncertain as to whether this strange situation is even real.

"Tche! Give me that," he snarls, and he snatches the wiggling sculptures from Tobi's grip.

With one forceful movement, he compresses the spiders into one mushy lump of clay.

"Oh no!" Rin cries, "You killed them!"

And she is looking so thoroughly despondent, he briefly feels a spark of guilt for his merciless action. But in the next few seconds, she seems to have forgotten the ordeal and is now pouring herself another cup of sake.

"Tobi! What a surprise to see you here," says a sweet voice.

A flash of dark hair followed by a strong smell of jasmine perfume infiltrates his space. The Cascades waitress has sidled through the gap between Deidara and Tobi, planting herself uncomfortably close to his partner. Her arm instantly slides around his neck in a sickeningly lustful manner, her very messy hair resting complacently on his shoulder.

"Don't you see how uncomfortable he is?" Rin says stiffly, as Tobi attempts to shift in the opposite direction.

"Shut it girl if you know what's good for you," the waitress snaps.

And she continues to run suggestive movements up and down Tobi's arm, an action that silently makes Deidara want to punch the living daylights out of her.

"You should really learn to back down when someone is obviously uneasy with your actions," Rin says caustically.

The cup she is tenaciously holding has now resembled a mosaic artwork.

Sensing imminent danger, Deidara swiftly turns to Tobi.

"I think you're missing a few spiders, go find them," he orders.

"Will do sempai!" Tobi answers quickly.

And much to the waitress's chagrin, he dashes for the exit, the eagerness to disappear evident in his brusque strides.

"You really think I'd take advice from the likes of you?" the waitress sneers.

She throws Rin a dirty look before taking the half full bottle of sake and pouring it all over the table.

"Looks like your confidence has shifted dramatically, I'm not surprised that alcohol is fuelling your slutty ego," the waitress continues.

At these words, Rin lets out a high-pitched chortle, her face pink from the intoxicating effects of alcohol.

"Tobi would be a better explanation for confidence."

"Next time don't talk bullshit," the waitress snaps aggressively.

Rin shrugs, her indifference to the situation rather startling. This new personality is confronting,  _insensitive_ , a disconcerting contrast to her timid kind-hearted disposition.

"Don't give me that attitude! This is probably the reason why he despises you," the waitress continues.

"You sure like to talk for someone who's so hypocritical."

"Hmph. Your confidence irks me."

"Tell Tobi that," Rin sighs.

And it must be some sort of Morse code between women, or perhaps it is the smug look on Rin's face, but Deidara has lost himself in the translation, albeit the waitress has seen right through it.

"What did you say?"

Her voice is laced with such a dangerous level of sweetness, it makes the hairs on Deidara's neck stand on end.

Rin does not answer, but there is a passive look of triumph lining her gaze. And in that same moment, the waitress advances and viciously grips her by the shoulders.

"You stupid bitch did you fuck him?" She shrieks.

Almost instantaneously, the smile falls from his teammate's face, swiftly replaced by a menacing smirk.

"Why don't you mind your own business?" she mumbles irritably.

"Answer me!" the waitress screeches.

"He doesn't belong to you. That's non-negotiable," Rin says, and something in that tone of voice indicates her answer to the waitress's question.

The inconspicuous piece of revelation stuns Deidara into incredulous silence. Rin would not lie about something so significant. And for some  
inexplicable reason, he does not seem too perturbed by such information. The past few days have given him a new lead on life.

The illness struck a sensitive core somewhere deep inside, as if the value of existence has exceeded beyond what people would consider priceless.

On a scale of art and the need for vengeance against Itachi, Tobi sits relatively low on his priority list. Not out of being worthless, but perhaps the idea of pleasure and jealously is only reserved for a world where he has achieved all the things he wants.

But the value of his art can never be achieved or satisfied. It goes on and on, creation after creation, a momentary existence to be replaced by another masterpiece. And perhaps being confined to a tiny inn room for days on end has given him more thought as to why he is here.

Admittedly, Rin's recent care has somehow pulled a compassionate string within him. Her ubiquitous presence, though being a source of annoyance and security, was evident in the way she did it all alone without a word of complaint.

And he is indifferent to his teammates's relationship. He is still uncertain as to whether his past intimate actions with Tobi were even real. Either way, he has other business to focus on.

When Deidara breaks from his muse, the waitress is halfway through the air with her hand. And he anticipates the end result, the sudden instinct gets him between the two women faster than he expected.

He grips the waitress's hand before it makes contact with Rin, who is now staring wide-eyed with a very blank expression on her face.

"Watch it," Deidara intervenes.

"Stay out of this," the waitress spits angrily.

"This ain't a fair game lady. I would stay out of it if alcohol wasn't messing with her coordination," Deidara mutters as she yanks her grip from him.

"Hmph! She asked for it, the way she is drinking and slurring and dressing like that."

The waitress shoots them a contemptuous scowl before stalking off in the opposite direction. And in that same moment, Deidara notices strange faint looking black-grey lines scrawled across Rin's neck and arms.

He shakes his head and when he turns to look again, they have vanished.

_I must be seeing things._

"Sempai," Tobi says.

His sudden reappearance startles him. Tobi is striding past with several more spider sculptures squirming in his outstretched hand.

"Found them. Sneaky little nutters they are," he continues, and he places their incapacitated state onto the table alongside a purple coloured pill.

"What's that?" Deidara asks.

"Anti-sake pills I call them. She is such a lightweight," Tobi says, and he is gazing curiously at Rin, who is now staring at the ground with a very peculiar expression.

Deidara reaches for the purple pill, wondering how on earth he is going to coax Rin into taking it.

"Take this," he says to her.

She turns to gaze suspiciously at him, but there is a component of blankness behind her watch, as if she has no idea what she is looking at.

"What's it for?" She asks.

"To reverse the bloody damage," he mutters, and surprisingly, she takes it from him and swallows it.

"I didn't expect that," Tobi states bluntly, "She needs to be monitored until it leaves her system. I can sit here and-"

"I'll do it," Deidara interrupts, "I got her into this mess so I'll take responsibility for it, and besides, I owe her for saving my life."

x

She does not remember falling asleep, but the sounds of shuffling paper wakes her from a hazy blackness.

The first thing she sees is the yellow glow of artificial lights, followed by the sounds of distant chatter and laughter.

She is in a small room with only a single table and two chairs. And she has been lying on a long couch that is more pleasant to look at than sit on.

From beside her, there is a small mauve armchair and someone is already sitting in it.

"Honestly woman, I didn't expect you to fall into a beauty nap, hm."

The voice is irritable yet familiar.

Deidara peers from behind a large newspaper, surveying her with a look of annoyance before letting out a long sigh of relief.

"Finally, I was starting to get bored of reading this dumb crap about some rich guy marrying some poor woman. Oh the scandal," he scoffs and rolls his eyes in exaggeration, "Sounds like something you women like reading," he adds nastily.

Rin frowns at the sudden offensive string of nonsensical blabbering.

"What happened to me?" She murmurs.

"Drunk too much apparently," Deidara answers from behind the paper.

She sends him a reproachful scowl before sitting up fully.

Good gracious, has she really been drinking? That must explain the blurry memories. She vaguely remembers accepting drink offers from Deidara as a 'thank you' gift.

It was not a good idea, considering how vulnerable alcohol makes her. Perhaps it has something to do with her body composition, but her tolerance for such substance is incredibly low.

At the time, there was a dangerous need to suppress her miserable disposition, to preoccupy her mind with innocuous thoughts. These painful emotions may be a compelling factor for engaging in suck risky behaviour, but deep down, she acknowledges this wrongdoing.

"How long have I been out?"

"Couple hours. Tobi gave you some purple pill," Deidara replies from behind the paper.

"He did?" She says in surprise.

A medication for alcohol poisoning. Did she really drink that much?

And as if reading her mind, Deidara suddenly speaks, albeit the newspaper continues to obscure his face and muffle his voice.

"You didn't drink that much," he says, "Less than half a bottle I reckon. Cheap drunk you are."

Rin frowns. Only someone who knows the ins and outs of drinking would know that much. Deidara is not of drinking age yet but she knows he has a strong disregard for rules.

"I need to go for a walk," Rin says.

And Deidara closes the paper at her comment.

"Finally, babysitting duty's over. Now I can go eat and join the party."


	74. Notice

The fresh smell of a sauntering breeze catches her breath the moment she steps from the crowded inn. Instantly, the disoriented sensation of too much toxicity subsides, as if the wind has physically carried them away into the darkness.

Above, the night sky is inundated with galaxies of brightly lit stars, twinkling like diamonds against sunlight and granting the endless expanse of canvas an even richer shade of velvet. Amongst the celestial body is the illuminating glow of a full moon, so bright, stark,  _patent_ , it is like daylight in the dark.

Only several hundred metres down a paved pathway is the formation of an incredible waterfall. The sound it emits is so remarkably quiet, Rin can almost hear the sounds of her own breathing.

As if emanating a mysterious mist, the mesmerising fall of aqua beckons her to revel in its beauty, immerse herself in its secretive aura.

And she sits by the pristine pool of water, her bare feet submerged in the tranquility of coolness. Together with the soft sounds of sweet music floating its way from the inn, she has become incredibly entranced by the mesmerising quietude of her thoughts.

The strange solace is unlike anything she has ever experienced. She relishes in the natural beauty of this world, the enticing sensation of music and the captivating feeling of her soft hair against her back as it falls from her updo in gentle waves.

When the winds pick up, she reluctantly departs her solitude, as if something or someone is guiding her away. And instead of walking towards the inn, she scans the sparse, serene atmosphere of this area.

Atop a large precipice overlooking the faraway lands, she sees Tobi, staring out across a luscious field of diverse mountainous greenery.

She watches curiously from afar, assimilating the scenery of a soft breeze as it filters past his hair in one caressing motion. He is transfixed on something in the remote space, a look of inscrutability etched upon his features as his arm reposes ever so serenely on his knee.

When she decides to approach him, he does not palpably acknowledge her presence, and there is a level of uncertainty as to whether she is intruding on his solitude.

"Am I impeding?" She asks.

He averts to her, the small light smile he gives is a non-verbal indicator that she may stay.

When she sits beside him, her gaze joins his into the faraway reaches. The music from the inn has ceased playing, and so they sit there in the stillness of a darkened night.

"Are you reminiscing?" She asks eventually.

His gaze continues to linger ahead but his mind seemingly hovers somewhere between deep in reflection and reality.

"No. Emptying thoughts," he answers.

She looks to him in surprise. Perhaps this is his way of releasing painful muses?

When she remains quiet, he continues to speak.

"You look great, did you change that dress?"

"You noticed?"

"I notice almost everything about you," he replies mildly.

Rin frowns.

"I don't know whether to categorise that as sweet or creepy," she says falteringly.

He lets out a short laugh.

"I think I'm on the verge of the latter if I try too hard," he answers lightly.

This time, Rin lets out a string of uncontrollable giggles.

"It's not that funny is it?" He says quickly, and there is a look of genuine puzzlement to his features.

" _You're_  funny," she says through stifled laughter.

"Oh," he pauses briefly, "So you're laughing at me?"

Her continuous giggles confirms her answer.

"You need another purple pill?" He adds sarcastically.

Rin stops, letting out a horrified exaggerated gasp before clapping her hands to her mouth in disbelief.

"You should not have said that," she says with futile composure.

"No one is going to take you seriously with that expression on your face," Tobi says, and he makes a very sardonic, yet accurate imitation of her stifled chortles.

She lifts her chin.

"I can make you falter if you keep up that attitude. You'd be begging for clemency," she says haughtily.

"Oh really?"

Tobi stares at her in bewilderment.

"I'd like to see you try," he continues.

"You're fighting a losing battle," she says warningly.

He raises an eyebrow in dubious sarcasm.

"Presumptuous statement there."

"Last chance to concede defeat and take back your purple pill comment."

"And if I don't?"

Rin looks into the vast space, the sweet sound of gentle music crawling its way up to their location in a surprisingly loud volume.

"You'll have to dance with me," she smirks.

This time, he surveys her with rough incredulity.

"What?"

"You heard me."

He lets out a short laugh of disbelief.

"I don't dance, nor do I know how to."

"Too bad."

"Okay, if you can't get me to er…beg for clemency…" he pauses momentarily, an enormous attempt for composure, "You can get up and dance by yourself."

"Deal."

And her quick response brings another element of surprise to his features.

"Also, you take back the purple pill comment as well," she continues.

"Fine."

"Last chance," she says.

"Go for it."

"I can bet that on two minutes or less, you will concede defeat."

Tobi spreads his arms out wide.

"Go on."

At his comment, she gives a wide merciless grin before shuffling towards him. Then, she is sliding both hands into the gap of his cloak, her left holding his waist steady, whilst her right moves to slowly stroke the oblique muscles of his left side.

Instantly, she gets the reaction she anticipated.

Tobi has tensed considerably, his face screwed up in a forceful attempt to not react.

"Dammit!" He groans, and he is suppressing a chuckle that seems to be reinforcing the ticklish sensation.

And Rin continues to torment him, holding his body with impressive strength as she attempts to resist against his squirming.

"You're thrashing and it has only been less than twenty seconds," she says, "Concede defeat yet?"

At this point, he lets out a wave of uncontrollable laughter, an act she finds so incredibly delightful.

"No…dammit, it's been more than twenty seconds," he says in between lungfuls of air.

"Excuse me, I can tell the time."

And she hastens the action at his audacious comment. His flailing has increased wildly in both movement and strength, as if there is an immense containment of physical power he is holding back - perhaps for fear of hurting her. Yet if he did utilise it, that would be an unfair game.

"Okay…stop…please stop…I can't take it anymore…"

When she ceases the action, there is a triumphant grin on her face, as if she has proven her point - he should not underestimate her abilities.

As she withdraws from him, he takes her arms and pulls her forwards into a petulant embrace. And before she can respond, he leans in to kiss her with such sweetness, she feels herself convulsing with intense need. The kiss ends swiftly, and she cannot help but feel a surge of disappointment welling somewhere in her middle.

"I win," she says softly.

Reluctantly, she detaches herself from him, standing up to straighten her dress before she extends her hand in invitation.

"Lets go."

And he gives her a resigned smile before accepting.

Rin is not an expert but she is good at teaching and learning. From what Akihiro taught her, she remembers it clearly.

"Hold me here," she guides his hands to her waist where he instantly grips firmly.

"And I just put my hands to your shoulders," she continues, "Easy right?"

Although reluctant at first, Tobi eventually eases into it, his awkwardness however, is still evident in his very stiff-like movements.

"You need to relax," Rin fusses.

He only laughs again, perhaps out of his own embarrassment that his coordination is rather lacking. But slowly he gets the hang of things and Rin gets him to hold one hand as she twirls to the music. And when he catches her on the third try, he steps in close until her chest is inches away from his.

"Can I stand this close?" He says softly.

"I don't think this constitutes as dancing anymore," she replies.

His expression is mild and sentimental, as if he is staring at pleasant memories when he is gazing at her.

"Who sets the rules anyways? I'll call this as dancing," he says.

"You're the only one who would call it that."

"Makes it exclusive."

"If you stand too close, I can't keep pace properly."

"Why not?"

"I am not blessed with your height, you're overshadowing me."

"Sure, I can fix that," and he picks her up so that she is laughing and squealing in bewilderment.

"Are you seriously going to hold me like this the entire dance?"

He gives her a small smile.

"If you want me to," he answers lightly.

"Perhaps not for dancing then," she whispers.

And she leans down to kiss him, her hands holding possessively to his face, as if afraid she would break from him.

"If I keep getting that response, can I continue to carry you?" He murmurs.

Rin stares at him before letting out a derisive snort.

"You wish."

And when the music stops, Tobi releases her, but they continue to stand there and revel in each other's proximity for some time after.

"I almost forgot," he says suddenly.

"Mm?"

"I take back that purple pill comment."


	75. Dimension

The vivid, indigo canvas has now amassed a myriad of coloured stars to its collection, and though Rin is eager to sit amongst such brilliance, there is a hoard of people spilling from every nearby inn.

She wants to be with Tobi - alone, anywhere but here in an area where their personal space is shrinking in size.

"I don't want to be here," Rin says, and she glances wearily at the crowd of noisy passers-by.

"We can leave, where do you want to go?" Tobi asks.

"I don't know. Take us away from here and make us disappear to where it is just us."

He watches her with a peculiar expression, as if deciding whether his impending actions would classify as appropriate.

"Come here," he says gently, and he is stretching out a hand to her, "I'll show you my world."

She does not understand his comment but there is a strong component of unspoken trust radiating between them.

When she reaches for him, her world blurs and distorts, the familiar yet strange sensation of being detached from reality seeping through and disappearing in a microsecond.

"Goodness gracious where are we?" she asks confoundedly.

Her gaze transfixes itself on the endless rows of ambiguous rectangular blocks. They reflect a singular grey colour that are all identical in shades, each mass indistinguishable from its neighbours. Beyond the shapes are shadows that are reminiscent of an empty space, solid and shrouded in the darkness.

The surrounding atmosphere is neither warm nor cold, but a heavy malicious energy lingers with paralysing familiarity. When she turns to face Tobi, she feels the connection of such malevolency, sitting in this world as it does when she sees the darker side of this person.

"It's my dimension," Tobi answers softly.

" _Your_  dimension?" she says in astonishment.

"It is a space-time dimension, this place does not exist but you can feel your existence here if that makes any sense?" he explains.

"No, you're not making any sense but," she stares in puzzlement, "this place is unbelievable."

_Unbelievably lonely._

And the more she assimilates this place, the more she starts to understand it.

This unusual realm, innocuous as it may appear, is teeming with spiteful emotions, like the dimension is capable of exhibiting real human feelings.

They remain in silence for a long time, as if the quietude of this place has closed the time and space gap and their minds are suspended in stillness.

"You're so lost aren't you?" Rin says eventually.

Her voice is oddly fearful, yet there is an element of forlorn enveloping her tone.

Tobi does not answer, but his face displays a bitter procession of emotions she finds incredibly heartbreaking.

"What is your name?" She continues gently.

For a fleeting moment, he stares at her with stagnant wariness, watching in confusion before a defeated expression takes over.

"I don't understand," he whispers.

"You hide from the world in so many different aspects, do you expect yourself to keep something as personal as your name for everyone to see?"

He flinches uncomfortably, as if the truth hurts and he is suddenly confronted by its meaning. There is progressive cynicism building behind his dark gaze, a mixture of submission to the broken emotional barriers he has so frantically tried to erect against her.

"Why do you want to know?" he asks pointedly.

"Why wouldn't I?"

He says nothing.

And when she approaches him, he automatically steps to her, as if his body anticipates an embrace but his mind is stopping him at the last second.

"Do you want to know my name?" She says mildly, and he almost laughs at her comment.

"I'm Nohara Rin," she continues.

For a brief second, he is slightly startled, but then reposes when she takes his hand.

"Uchiha Obito," he answers softly.

"Uchiha?"

She looks to him in bemusement.

"I thought there were only two survivors-"

She cuts herself abruptly, a deep frown inundating her features. But the look on Tobi's face indicates a steady rise in discomfort, so she decides to dismiss her curiosity.

"Never mind," she says quickly, "How big is this place?" She asks airily.

"The size of the earth I believe."

"Like a parallel dimension right?"

"I suppose so."

"Do you think it links up with every part of the earth?"

"Yes, I think that's kind of how the teleportation works, but I could be wrong."

There is a momentary pause. Again she senses reluctance from him, as if there is something he is not telling her. Perhaps he does not trust her with the knowledge of his abilities?

"Do you visit here often?"

"Too often."

His words came out quick and tense, as if he was not meant to say them but the austere emotions have attached itself to the logical part of his mind that processes speech.

He stares ashamedly at the ground, the scowl that is now evident across his features have darkened disdainfully.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

And she feels it, the sudden change to the atmosphere that so clearly reflects the humiliation and disparagement that is emanating from him. This place is almost a manifestation of his soul.

When she takes his hand, he suddenly tightens his grip, as if afraid she would let go. But she stands close to allow the unspoken reassurance to resound in the small space between them.

Tobi may have his own set of bitter pain, but she resonates with those feelings in a different context. That does not detract the importance of his pain, nor hers, rather, their pain is uniquely theirs.

She does not know how her presence has affected his sight of the world, but on her end, she relishes in the proximity of his radiating hope.

In this despairing world, she has seen nothing but a lonely, dejected road, the seventeen years of unloving slavery has given her the realisation of injustice and the sufferings that accompanies it.

But it has always been him, a light at the end of a dark universe that is capable of permeating her with insurmountable warmth. He is the blood that runs through her veins, fuelling her existence, every beat of his heart a suffusion of hope and security.

Not for the first time, his propinquity has become a source of survival for her, as if she is so dependent on his existence, her entirety would inexorably shatter if he were to disappear from the earth's atmosphere.

Perhaps she has yet to comprehend the meaning of these feelings, but by gracious she won't deny the fact that she has fallen in love with him.

When she averts to him, his expression has grown cold,  _vacant,_  a clear resemblance of the aggrieved emotions that are heavily inundated in this empty world.

_"It's my dimension."_

His previous words ring loud and clear, her mind continues to forge an irrefutable connection between this physical world and his inner world of turmoil.

When he continues to remain silent, she pulls him into a loving embrace, holding onto him because she knows, can physically feel the loneliness and the years of virulent anguish.

"For now, in your dimension, just you and me, okay?" she whispers tenderly.

"Yes," he answers brokenly.

So they are holding each other for a long time, the indefinite progression of their actuality coming to a standstill, lost in a parallel dimension that does not exist.

Their embrace only breaks to fulfil their lonely hearts by confining themselves to a world of passionate intimacy, a world of need for each other's presence, and a world where one another's existence is tangible.

And she is stripping him of his shirt, her fingers free to savour the radiating heat of his skin.

At her touch, he impatiently lifts her, pinning her up against the cold wall of a rectangular block, and readjusting their positions so that her middle is pressing against his arousal.

Roughly, avidly, he gathers her dress so it hitches on either side of her waist. The cool air sweeps against her bare skin as he moves to take her undergarment off. Then without thinking, without hesitation, her legs entwines around his, feeling his approaching warmth as he gradually fills her vacant heart with so much hope and love.

His momentum is unchanging, replete with tender, delicate, sweet movements that keeps her mind lingering in ecstasy, pervading her body with unimaginable gratification of euphoric ardour.

Her legs, thoroughly chafed from the rough materials of his pants, endeavours to cling on with every ounce of energy.

Then he is prying her from the wall and dropping them both to the ground, his back leaning heavily against the structured mass whilst she is sitting astride him, flushed from being in such a domineering position.

Demurely, she leans in to kiss him, the sweet taste and that damn enticing scent sends a renewed feeling of insatiable lust coursing through her.

When they break, she boldly leans forwards to brush the heat of his middle. The satisfactory yet stifled groan she gets from him is enough to reinforce her audacious actions.

"Show me how you like it," she whispers ardently.

And slowly, he takes her hand and gently guides her fingers up and down the length, asserting a level of pressure in certain areas until she has mentally mapped out his needs.

Valiantly she takes over, the enjoyment of hearing his enticing groans with every movement becomes an elixir of desire that has etched so deeply into her heart. But it is never enough for her. She wants him to surrender all that he has, his needs, wants,  _vulnerabilities_.

Experimentally she grips onto him, clenching and unclenching in all the right areas, watching him lean back as his expression contorts into enrapturing need.

Then his arm encircles her, gently nudging her waist with his fingers and coaxing her to move forwards.

"Come, ride me," he says softly, and he is running his fingers along the length of her spine.

Her body, though timid, is highly opposed to her mind, which is teeming with such overwhelming levels of wild confidence, she has to forcibly suppress an equally lewd reply to his salacious comment.

Shuffling forwards, she grips onto his shoulders, bringing her body in an upward motion and lifting herself so that the tip of his warmth is lingering just inside her.

Then she is sliding and gripping against him, hearing his tantalising sounds of pleasure as she takes him again, over and over, repeating the action until they are both dizzy with consuming desire.

And it is in the last few moments that her body decides to fully respond, holding onto him both internally and externally, fuelling their desires with flagrant vigour as she moves back and forth against him with compelling need.

This time, they are perfectly in sync, from their movements to the sweet sounds of their sighs followed by the quintessential sensation of their exhilarating release.

Tired,  _exhausted,_ they collapse against each other, their bodies pressed so firmly, they can feel the faint anomalous beating of each other's heart.

Tobi's breathing is unsteady, heavy,  _fatigued_.

"I love you," he whispers drowsily.

Maybe she is equally lethargic or her mind has somehow decided to shut itself off, but she is unsure whether he said something.

But for the time being, their existence is only palpable to each other, and that in itself is more than she could have ever asked for.


	76. Precious

In moments between experiments and treatments, Rin would peruse her master's enormous library of books. His collections extended beyond what many would deem abnormal, perhaps into areas where not even the most audacious of people would venture.

But her master is different.

He pursued subjects that were more often than not banned or forbidden, however, his open mindedness to the mysteries of the world has given Rin a more varied selection of strange topics that thankfully, diverged from his usual quest for horrific experiments.

In the last five years, Rin has picked up a liking for astrology. Though a questionable topic, she enjoys staring at the multitude of coloured stars or speculating the meaning of planets and the universe.

More recently, she has discovered the pleasures of interpreting celestial bodies and their positions. And though she likes to believe the accuracy of her predictions, she knows it is mostly astrological quackery.

It does not deter her from enjoying the elements of prediction, so tonight, she is sitting on the bed by the inn room window, a small astrological book in one hand and a complicated looking chart in the other.

She stares serenely out into the vast heavens, the galaxies of stars scattered brightly in great spirals of coloured lights.

"What are you doing?"

Tobi's voice breaks her concentration, and she turns to gaze lovingly at his face before revelling in the sweet imagery of his half naked torso.

"Do you always walk around without a shirt on?" She asks.

"Why? Do you not like what you see?"

He gives her that incredibly lewd smile that always gets her insides stirring.

"Actually, I like it too much."

And he stares at her, that deep intensive gaze continues to stimulate her middle in one wild movement.

"Really?"

He bites his lower lip before approaching her.

"What are you going to do about it?" He continues softly, and he slides his arms around her waist before initiating a flow of sweet kisses down her neck.

"You are so distracting," she says.

"From what?"

He peers over her shoulder at the astrological chart before giving her a sceptical frown.

"You're into that sort of thing?" He asks.

"Just a hobby."

"Am I your hobby too?"

She lets out an incredulous laugh before returning to her chart.

"Maybe you are, after I'm done with this," she answers shamelessly.

He remains behind her for some time after, relishing in the warmth of each other's proximity before Rin's exasperated sigh breaks the entrancing moment.

"What's the matter?" Tobi asks.

"Oh just nothing. A couple of quack revelations," she exhales deeply.

"Tell me."

Her brows furrows in concentration. She is uncertain as to whether she should even tell him the stupidity of this hobby.

"It's just rubbish when you predict negativity," she says sullenly.

"Do you believe in it?"

"Of course not," she hesitates, "but that does not detract from the gloom and doom of such information."

"Well, if you doubt its authenticity, you might as well tell me what you found," he presses.

She lets out another long sigh of resignation.

"Alright. Base on these charts and I had to do some mathematical work to give a more accurate representation of the predictions, it says here that in some months time, the world will unite as one to fight an enemy," she pauses, " the enemy transcends all powers of humanity. If conquered, the world will move towards peace."

"If conquered?" Tobi asks.

He sounds puzzled, yet distinctively interested.

"Oh, I don't know, perhaps the stars haven't made up their minds whether this enemy would be conquered yet," she says grimly.

Tobi remains in thoughtful silence, though there is a flicker of anxiety grazing his features.

"What's the other one?" He asks curiously.

"Hm…this one is an odd prediction, I'm not sure if I did the equations correctly but it says here, one year after peace, trouble from another place will unknowingly and involuntarily ask for help."

Tobi watches her with an obscure expression, as if he is contemplating her predictions and is finding words to challenge them. But when he remains silent, his features morphs into inquisitiveness.

"That's it," she says bluntly, "Sounds so pathetically legendary if you ask me," and she is stifling a broken laugh.

Tobi does not answer, his mind is seemingly still deep in reflection.

Frowning, she returns to her chart in an attempt to re-calculate the equations, but a sudden movement outside the window catches her attention.

It was brief but she won't deny the fact that it was an immense figure.

Then she hears it. A soft musical sound followed by a horse's neigh. And without thought or concern that Tobi is still holding on to her, she abruptly stands.

Avidly, she stares out the window, catching the very tail end of the black stallion's shadow before it disappears into the darkness.

When she averts to the horizon, she sees the ocean, its alluring serenity so faraway from her position. And beyond the expanse of water, she observes a tiny floating island, its familiarity sends a chilling nostalgia through her spine.

"Tobi, the ocean is so beautiful, I never knew we were so close to it. Is that the same island we saw last time?"

When she turns to face him, there is a stark expression of apprehension and unease in his gaze. He is watching the spot where she is pointing, but she gets the strange sensation that he cannot see it.

His eyes remain unfocused, as if confused as to what they should be looking at.

When Rin appears troubled, his hard features briefly lightens.

"You've been staring at that chart for too long, I think it's best you get some sleep," he says gently.

He turns her around so she faces him fully.

"Please don't give me that look," he continues, and his hands are cupping her face with delicate fondness.

She slackens her disconcerted expression, and immediately Tobi leans down to kiss her.

He is always so pure with his touch, as if he is constantly treading carefully around a fragile piece of artwork.

When they part, Tobi presses his forehead to her, an act she delights in for the fleeting moment it lasts.

"You are so precious," he whispers mildly.

And he takes her hand and guides her to the bed.

She is compliant with every move, until he sits beside her without the indicator he would join.

"Are you going to sit there?" Rin asks quietly.

He does not respond, his watch is momentarily transfixed on the outside window, as if he is anticipating something.

Only when she takes his hand that he abruptly breaks from his reverie.

"Sorry," he says quickly.

"What is on your mind?"

"Nothing of concern," he answers, and she sends him a reproachful look.

"Tobi, you can tell me-"

"Obito," he interrupts, "please?"

He is looking thoroughly dejected, but there is a passive emotion of pleading behind the sadness.

"Obito, you can tell me, I'm here," she says.

He looks to the ground in brief silence before speaking in a strangely robotic manner.

"You'll watch over me?"

She stares inquisitively before coaxing him to join her in the bed.

"Of course," she replies.

And the embrace he gives is so comforting, her internal melts into complacency.

Then he is hovering over her before leaning in for a passionate kiss.

"I want you," he says quietly.

His voice is muffled against the kiss, but her body seems to have understood every word.

And though their lovemaking provides an incredible space for escape, Rin fears the action may reinforce Tobi's dependency for emotional avoidance.

The thought strikes her hard, her time is running so short, there is a chilling level of selfishness that suddenly inundates her.

As heavily satisfied as she is from her release, the fear creeps through and deluges her mind with Tobi's sufferings.

She does not know his pain, his reluctance or the hurt he has endured, but it seems as if he has slowly opened himself up to the security of her presence.

The last thing he needs is to sink back into the depths of despair. If anything, when the time comes, she will find a way to alleviate the pain.


	77. Hysteria

They depart for the East lands to keep their movements inconspicuous and their presence untraceable. The Akatsuki leader did not fully divulge the next phase of instructions, but there have been subtle indicators of another imminent tailed beast sealing.

Rin is not fully aware of the details, Deidara and Tobi have been reluctant to disclose information to her. And though she has no reason to gain new knowledge, her curiosity is disappointed.

When Rin and Tobi make for their meeting point, they are interrupted by the sounds of hurried footsteps and the sudden sickening tone of a sweet, dulcet voice

"Tobi!"

He halts and half turns to face a flustered looking waitress, who is instantly taken aback by his maskless visage.

There is an element of astonishment sweeping her gaze, the profound silence lingers uneasily before an audible gasp escapes her. The sound is a suppressed shriek of excitement that pierces the atmosphere with spite and unpleasantness. And in that same moment, Rin notices another woman, perhaps the waitress's companion, hovering somewhere behind with a very smug look on her face.

"Tobi, is that you?"

The waitress blinks in puzzlement, cautiously closing the gap between them to better scrutinise.

Tobi does not answer, but a small smile tugs the corners of his mouth, as if he is insinuating lewdness.

"It really is you!" The waitress exclaims heartily.

"Who is he?" The companion asks, staring at Tobi with progressive curiosity and admiration.

"My future husband," she replies sweetly, "What a nice surprise, aren't you one sexy hunk?"

Then she is reaching for his face, gently stroking the scarred side in a sickeningly suggestive movement that makes Rin wince in displeasure.

"Is this the masked man you were talking about? You sure know how to pick," the companion nods approvingly, "And this must be-" her eyes flicker at Rin without interest.

"The stupid slut," the waitress says without taking her watch from Tobi.

When the blatant feelings of humiliation sinks into Rin's face, the companion sends her a derisive smirk, before turning her gaze in a sordid attempt to attract Tobi's attention.

For a split second, Rin catches a brief glint of triumph on her face, as if there is an insinuation of jealousy and she is willing to play unscrupulously to achieve her desires.

Tobi does not give the slightest regard towards either women, his expression is distant, glassy, an impassive look of speculation behind his watch.

"So Tobi, why don't we get away from here, the air is so much fresher back at my place," the waitress suggests.

She leans in to encircle her arms around his neck, a look of heavy lust immersing her features.

The action breaks his trance and he averts to the waitress. There is almost an element of composed vexation to his expression, as if he is about to say something unpleasant but is consciously restraining himself.

"I don't think so," he says slowly, and he pries her arms away.

"What do you mean?"

The waitress stares anxiously, a look of disbelief and fury sweeping her face.

"You're about twenty-five years too late," he answers softly.

And Tobi turns, his gaze locking intensely onto Rin.

"The slut? You'd pick her over me?" The waitress shrieks incredulously, throwing Rin a disgusted look.

"I'd watch your language if I were you," he says coldly.

And when he moves from the waitress, she instantly drops to the ground with uncontrollable hysteria, shrieking incoherent words before a flow of exaggerated tears transpires.

"It's not fair! I like you too!" She shouts wildly.

Her fists pummels heavily against the wooden floorboards, the blunt sounds reverberating across the entire hallway and in past the very thin walls of each inn room.

At this point, the companion swiftly moves to her side, muttering words of reassurance whilst sending contemptuous scowls in Rin's direction. Then, she gives Tobi one brief look of longing before arresting her attention on the waitress.

"Let's go," Tobi says.

"But what about-" Rin starts uncertainly.

"Do you want to push this situation?" he interrupts pointedly.

And he takes her hand and pulls her from the dramatic commotion.

"But she is so upset."

"I resent your kindness at times," he answers reproachfully, "She'll hurt you if you stay here long enough."

"How do you know?"

"Did you not see that tantrum?" he replies satirically.

"Are you going to stop her if she hurts me?"

He gives her a puzzling look before turning away, as if he finds the question uncomfortable.

"I don't feel the need to hurt civilians so it is better to withdraw from imminent problems before things escalate," he replies pragmatically.

She does not answer, but she gets the feeling he may not be entirely truthful.

"Rin?"

She breaks from her speculation.

"Sorry I…you are right, lets go now," she says.

He gives her a small smile before glancing apprehensively at the waitress.

"Yes, before she starts chasing me again."


	78. Retrieval

It is escalating, this disgusting nauseating feeling of looming death.

But death is not what she fears, it is what she will leave behind. She agonises over uncertainty, terrified for the person who lives and breathes for her existence. The painful imagery gnaws at her, those intrusive thoughts forcing its way through and mentally shattering her with its merciless wrath.

Her skin, deluged with abstract lines of demise, is stark against the sun's blaring light, like a tattoo etched so deeply, it has been ingrained into her DNA.

Along with death's souvenir is the retrieval of her memories, the events of her life thirteen years before her death slowly transpiring, returning in dreams, in sudden visual flashbacks and in random recollections.

Though she is gradually weakening, her master's temporary strength has instilled a transient spur of hope, barring the imminent feelings of death and allowing her access to the ever-widening gap that is time.

Two days ago, they arrived in Lake Sand, a small town situated between the mountainous regions dividing the East and North lands.

Although modest in population, the town is spread across vast acres of greenery and serene mountains, the dense, slope-like forest provides a permanent barrier against any form of industrialisation.

The area is so secluded, Rin and the two Akatsuki members did not cross paths with anyone until they arrived at the town's inn.

It is a beautiful place, surprisingly for a small settlement, but its isolation ten thousand feet above ground means the lack of people is unsurprisingly conspicuous.

Located at the precipice of the East land's highest mountain, the inn is minuscule, yet it sits on a large patch of nature that is so tranquil, it could be utilised as one enormous sleeping quarter.

Through the large window panels of the inn room is the spectacular scenery of endless mountain scape. The view below is marred by thick fog, giving the surrounding region an eerie vibe to its majestic beauty.

It is darker up here, despite the gleaming sun against a cloudless cerulean blue sky. Maybe it is the fog or the thick vegetation, but the darkness is far from sinister - perhaps a closer resemblance to the epitome of a paradisiacal quietude.

Upon arrival, Deidara disappears into the dark hallways that leads to his inn room, leaving Tobi and Rin to silently discuss their rooming arrangements.  
They always stay together nowadays, and whether this is common knowledge amongst the entire team, it has not been openly accepted.

There have been things Tobi and Deidara do outside her conscious, but she is not the least perturbed. Rin has been spending most her days alone beside nature, befriending the sweet serenity of luscious flowers, observing the vast array of wildlife or studying the mysterious formation of colourful landscapes.

Otherwise, she spends her time staring blankly out the inn room window, a forceful attempt to stave off the disgusting feelings of fatigue as memories trickle uncomfortably into her thoughts.

But today, things change for the worst.

Her reflection is dull and solemn against the surface of an old cracked bathroom mirror. There are lines scrawled all over her face, spreading outwards to the rest of her body before resting somewhere in the pits of her stomach.

Tentatively, she forms a seal for the concealing jutsu, a technique she developed to suppress the ugly black-grey squiggly lines. But as days pass, the task becomes arduous, her chakra dips low and the energy level shrinks to a small burning ember that is barely holding on.

When Rin steps from the bathroom, she sees Tobi, watching her with so much tenderness, her heart breaks,  _slowly_ , each section torn from her body piece by piece.

Turning from his wistful gaze, she approaches him, pressing her fingers against the heavy fabric of his cloak before pulling him into a possessive embrace. His response is hesitant, nominal, his arms encircling her in a very loose, reluctant grip.

And she lets out an inaudible sigh of exhaustion. There is need swirling in every cell, a desperate attempt to palliate the pain of losing this incredibly precious moment.

When she faces him, his gaze is brimming with a mass of sentimental emotions, as if there is something he is desperate to say but decides to resist against it.

"Rin, stay by my side and watch over me, okay?"

She frowns uncertainly, unsure if he knows more than he lets on.

"Yes," she answers gently.

And just like that, her body caves.

She falls, swift yet slow to the internal conscious. Her body collapses with a vicious wave of debilitating fatigue, the heavy energy drags her inwards as gravity advances on her.

Then reality spins, and spins and it does not stop, sucking every ounce of breath until she is suffocating from its torturous effects.

"Rin!"

The firm grasp on her shoulder does little to quell the dizzying sensation, albeit, she recognises her own reality, and perhaps Tobi's comforting touch is an alleviation.

And it is the memories, the disorientating sensation of a thousand images, flashing before her in blind, rapid successions, disappearing seconds after to be replaced by permanent pieces of her past.

She sees him, hears him, her friendly dark haired teammate. Together they stand side by side, watching her past in a ruminating replay as if completely dissociated from physicality.

Then her muse rattles in a paralysingly painful rhythm, hacking at her mind as if the thoughts have a tangible manifestation. When she turns, Tobi is standing beside her, a look of petrification etched so deeply upon his features, she can almost feel every torturous emotion.

"I can't!" She cries, and her hands swiftly latches to her ears in agonising pain.

The revolting high pitched screech reverberates grotesquely against the four walls, yet no one else can assimilate the atrocious sound.

Without warning, the tragic events of Kannabi Bridge corrodes her conscious, her eyes blind from the bright flashes of blue-white light coming from an unidentified origin.

As if going through a procession of memories and sensations, she savagely grips the left side of her chest, an excruciating pain equivalent to a thousand kunai punctures her body over and over. The anguish, paired with the memory of watching Kakashi's guilt ridden face becomes so real, so vivid, she feels as if she is reliving the event again.

"Obito I-" the painful gasps barely forms a coherent sentence.

And her lungs give way and she is hacking and brutally inhaling deeply to absorb every molecule of oxygen. The black-red fluid coming from her cough seeps repugnantly onto her hand as she frantically attempts to suppress another wave.

Weakly, she averts to Tobi -  _Obito_ , watching in puzzlement as the blood drains from his face, deprived of any emotion he maybe a walking corpse.

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly.

There is a sudden surge of palliative chakra coursing through her. His chakra. And instantly, her body settles.

Nodding wearily, Rin sits up fully, the reemergence of very stark black-grey intermittent lines scrawled across her body is the darkest it has ever been.

Hastily, she moves to hover a hand over her chest, repeating the jutsu to temporarily conceal the lines from her body, unaware that Obito is watching with increasing despondency.

Good gracious, is he really Obito?

Her thoughts remain unsettled, but there is an element of disappointment and resentment surfacing as she turns to him.

The very speck of the Obito she once knew is so far behind the deepened gaze, she is uncertain as to who she is looking at. But there is warmth and tenderness when he looks at her, as if the young Obito is only permitted to emerge in her presence.

And no longer can she recognise him, from the demeanour he exudes to the very harsh presentation of his physical.

A fractured part of her is desperate for the comfort of his close proximity, yet she is unable to fathom the surge of uncomfortable emotions that links her desirous feelings for Obito.

The foreign discomfort is reminiscent of the redundant experiments she had worked tirelessly on.

The jolt of guilt suddenly hits her. She did not mean to trivialise her connection with Tobi -  _Obito_. But she won't deny the wave of discontentment - to her Obito is different from Tobi.

"Are you really Obito?" She quivers.

There is no warmth in the gaze he gives her, rather a wary speculation of her question he is finding difficult to answer.

"Yes," he answers eventually.

His voice is barely audible, a factor that matches the guilty expression that is now apparent across his face.

She does not speak.

Her mind wanders to the devastating events of Obito's 'death,' unable to fathom the absurdity of such revelation.

He had died, they had mourned, grieved and moved on, yet here he is, alive and well, albeit the kindness has been stripped from him.

And though such memories remain graphic, Rin cannot recall the connection she has to that mission. It was war, they were completing a task, but who were they fighting for? Perhaps for their village, her home?

_Home I cannot even remember._

"Where is Kakashi?" She asks.

It may be her dismissive tone, or the question itself, but Obito's gaze darkens disdainfully.

"I don't know," he mutters.

She looks to him curiously, but decides to drop her questioning. It has been seventeen years. She does not know the events between her death and present day - additional knowledge won't save her from impending demise.

When Obito takes her hand, her body automatically withdraws and she rejects his touch.

It is the first time she feels deathly uncomfortable in his presence, and not in a desirous way, rather, a bitterness she cannot seem to comprehend.

And he looks utterly defeated, recoiling in fright as if afraid she may do something to hurt him.

He stares avidly at the ground, the saddened expression now so flagrant across his features, she desperately wants to escape its negativity.

Perhaps she is angry at herself for being in this situation, or the fact Obito knowingly took advantage of her amnesia? Either way, the hostility continues to rise dangerously, until she moves to stand and Obito winces at her sudden need for distance.

"I'm sorry, Rin" he whispers, "You must really hate me."


	79. Resentment

There is a downpour of misery that mimics the now grey skies from outside the large inn room windows.

Rin remains quiet, as if Obito did not speak and she is alone in this dismal place.

Emotionally, she is detached from the man kneeling before her, his presence continues to send agonising unease throughout. She does not know how to think or feel, the past hour suddenly becomes a distant blur and her mind is cautiously processing the discomforting memories.

And still, a part of her refuses to believe that he is Obito. The anxiety is disorientating, stemming from their friendship so long ago where not once had she ever thought to involve herself so intimately with this person.

But she is uncertain of the resentment and regret to their relationship. That part, the relationship, she truly cherishes, albeit she cannot seem to shake the imminent feelings of betrayal.

"Did you know it was me?" She asks blankly.

His gaze is highly intrusive, yet there is a blatant convoy of guilty emotions that wordlessly answers her question. At this point, she fearfully steps away, perhaps at the confrontational admission to her question.

"Why did you do it?" She whispers hurtfully.

He does not immediately speak, as if he is finding it difficult to process her words.

"I…I didn't want to deny you," he says shamefully.

And he is so quiet, she barely catches his answer.

"Deny me? Would that be benefiting you too?" She says incredulously.

"No Rin it's not like that," he says quickly, "I just wanted to see you happy."

"But you knew it was me," she says quietly.

"You would not have remembered."

It was the wrong thing to say.

Her eyes widens in disbelief, a strong hint of anger lacing her features.

"No, you're right, even if you disclosed our history I would not have remembered, but at least you would have given me a choice."

His head hangs in resigned guilt, and for the first time, he is looking weak and pitiful.

"The Obito I knew would never do something like this," she says coldly.

"It was never my intention to hurt you."

"What happened to you after I died?"

Instantly, his face contorts into a dangerous, irascibly bitter expression.

"I died with you," he answers insouciantly.

His reply speaks a clear message. The loneliness was perhaps a compelling factor, but there may be a passive underlying reason for his actions.

When she says nothing, he continues to speak.

"Do you regret all this?"

It is a question she cannot provide an answer to. She is yet to revisit her feelings for this person, but there is so much discontentment, her mind is temporarily marred.

"Tell me what I can do to fix this and I'll do it," he continues.

"Please leave," she says ruefully.

This time, the hurt and despondency is flagrant across his expression, perhaps a component of humiliation as his fingers wrings uncomfortably before him.

"Rin-"

"Please leave," she interrupts.

When he moves to stand tentatively before her, she senses a strong element of despair emanating from him.

"Rin, please-"

"Just go, I don't want to see you."

He attempts to take her hand but she swiftly withdraws from the uneasy contact.

"Rin, I love you-"

His voice is small and broken, as if he is frantically searching for a source of comfort in a foreign world.

"Please!" She interjects, "Just leave."

He remains silent for several seconds before backing from her. She does not dare look at him for fear he may misread her actions.

And reluctantly he departs for the door, his gaze lingering, as if hopeful she may change her mind. But she turns from him, a clear indicator for his dismissal.

When he disappears, Rin closes the door behind him, desperate to trap herself in a world of solitude.

Without thinking, she slides against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest and holding herself in a tight ball, ready to shield herself from another world of turmoil.


	80. Second

Two days have passed and her absence from the world is evidently unnoticeable. The exception is a familiar black stallion, who visits her during the lonely hours of the night. It does not stay long, perhaps its presence is a signification of impending peace. But its inconspicuousness at other times would leave her mulling despondently in her own solitude.

Rin has not seen Obito since their conversation, and though there is an element of relief, the contradictory emotions of desire proves calamitous.

The feelings of unease gradually returns and she is unsure of its origin. Perhaps it is the sudden loneliness, the creeping trauma that attacks her consciousness or the anticipation of imminent death, but for the first time since their last meeting, there is an impassioned need for his presence.

And only in that moment does she realise the extent of her needs. Beneath the temporary thickened layers of hurt and betrayal, the intense love she has for Obito is remarkably deep-seated.

Their relationship in the last month is more than a lifetime's away from the pure friendship that was their childhood. But when her mind reminisces, she still remembers the deep affection she had for Kakashi. Conflicted as she may be, she finds alleviation in separating the two different lives from each other.

So when death befalls her, does that trivialise the relationship she has with Obito? Which part of her life is the true Rin? Is it her pre-death or post-resurrection?

The scepticism rolls through and the emotional disturbance hurts. She is unsure where the blame sits. A part of her may have coerced Obito into reciprocating her feelings. Perhaps his earlier hostility was a plausible explanation for keeping his distance?

_But he knew._

Why did he not tell her of their history?

The disappointment on her end is resentful yet wary. She is not angry with the decision he made, rather the growing anguish is a result of the incongruent personality between the Obito she once knew and the one she sees now. It may be irrational but the time between her death and their rendezvous remains a mystery - she cannot say for sure how much he has changed.

Either way, there is always a small flame of hope and gentleness that resides deeply within him. Yet she senses a heavily coated external force that has intricately worked its way through and is now puppeteering from the shadows.

And as heartless as it may sound, there is a fractured part of her that desperately wants to disconnect from him. She is afraid of this new change, afraid to watch the kind loving soul replace itself by a lingering unfathomable darkness.

Her eyes closes at the discomforting muse, the physical indispose state overtakes and for the first time, she is thankful for it. The exhaustion blocks the intrusive thoughts and her mind is focusing on the weakened state of her body.

When another wave of severe fatigue hits, she automatically collapses against the bed, desperate for her mind to close itself to the rising discomfort of nausea and tremors.

And the increasing viciousness of her ailment, fuelled by the obliteration of her master's temporary strength, sends through a whole host of other ugly side effects.

When the lingering bouts of nausea translates to actual sick, she hurls herself towards the bathroom and throws the entire contents of her empty stomach, together with a strange black-red liquid she cannot identify.

It is the third time this past hour, with each bout of sick worsening in force and pain.

The obscure black-grey intermittent lines are now so stark, her concealing jutsu is doing very little to cover up its repulsiveness.

Perhaps her chakra levels have depleted to a dangerously low level? But she does not sense any changes to the amount of chakra flowing through her system.

So she sits there in excruciating silence, rocking back and forth with impassivity whilst focusing on the multicoloured tiles of the bathroom floor.

_I'm so weak. Why am I so weak?_

And in that moment the temperature escalates around her, yet her body is chilled to the marrow.

_My body is fevering._

No, it is her chakra, involuntarily redirecting itself to keep a specific part of her body warm.

Initially, a poison comes to mind, but when she runs a hand along her abdomen, she instantly feels it - a warm, comforting second chakra inside, beating,  _breathing_  as one beside hers.

"No…oh please no it can't be," she whispers frantically.

Then, she surrenders to the indefinite coldness, the denial enveloping her in a sphere of bitterness as she refuses the truth.

Without holding back, she weeps, silently,  _fearfully,_  because that is all she can do when her heart breaks.


	81. Emotions

There is a hopeless dread that feels remarkably heavy against the suffocating darkness. It sits complacently in the narrow gaps of her heart, crawling its way into diverging blood vessels and spreading throughout the rest of her body with every pump.

Hours into the night, Rin is lying stiffly on the very soft mattress that is oddly rock solid against her side.

The broken, hysterical tears have long dried into trails of sticky salt on her face. Blank and empty, her gaze remains focused on something she cannot fathom. She is completely devoid of the very thing that makes her human, her body now an empty living vessel that is reminiscent of a comatose state.

And only when she hears the soft tapping sounds against her door does she slowly stir from the vegetative plight.

"Rin?"

She hears his muffled voice from behind the door. A pause, then,

"Rin, can I come in?" He continues.

And she watches the handle turn with such subtle avidity, her nervousness escalates.

Obito peers through the small opening, a sense of hesitancy emanating from his position as he gives her a questioning look that symbolises his anticipation for her consent.

She sits up fully, dragging the sheets around her with a nod so passive, it could have been easily missed. But Obito's astuteness is unsurpassable. He gently widens the door and tentatively steps through, keeping a very cautious watch on her.

"What is it?" She asks lowly.

The look she gives still indicates her lingering resentment, and instantly, he acknowledges it.

"I…" his watch averts to the ground, a nervous disposition evident in his restless stance, "wanted to see if you are okay."

He briefly sends her a puzzled look before returning his gaze to the wooden flooboards.

There is silence, a stillness only suspicion can penetrate. Rin knows him and he won't be here unless he genuinely cares for her wellbeing.

"I could be better," she answers grimly.

Brusquely, he looks to her, a troubled expression etched between his frown.

"Um…" again he is looking tentative, as if there is something he wants to do but is unsure of its repercussions.

In that small moment of contemplation, his face contorts into concern and composure.

"I thought I'd give this to you," he continues.

And he places a small blue jar on the bedside table before stepping a fair distance from her.

"It's-It's…you were unwell so I thought this might help you feel better," he says tensely.

There is so much apprehension in his tone, Rin can almost feel the discomfort resonating somewhere inside her.

"Thank you," she says shortly.

She does not question the contents, she is certain that it is some sort of elixir to relieve her ailment.

Obito does not look at her, but he stays standing for several moments before shuffling awkwardly from the room.

And in that fleeting moment where she looks to him, their gazes meet. It may be the darkened room, but she sees an outpour of loving emotions lining his features before he turns away in diffidence.

"Take care," he says.

When he disappears, the automatic deluge of emotions unravels, adding another layer of frustrating regret to the surly circumstance

She won't deny it, if there is anything she needs, it is the comfort of his security. She misses him dearly, every part of her yearns to feel the warmth of his embrace and the sweet, loving feel of his kisses.

His earlier presence evokes another host of strange emotions she cannot comprehend. It originates from deep within, perhaps closer towards the sweet existence of a new life they have made together. And it reaches for him in the most desperate of ways, a gnawing sensation of attachment that makes her insides rattle with grief and lament.

Only the physical transformations of her internal manages to sync with the rational part of her mind. She is acutely aware of the bodily differences, the frantic changes, readjustments, all to accommodate the purity of a new life.

But together with such beauty is the manifestation of her indispose state, the dark-grey lines a stark reminder of the motherhood she will never have.

The contradictory state sends another wave of agony throughout. The loss becomes so real, she is mourning for something that is still alive.

"Obito…" her whispers are tear-filled and empty, a solid indicator of the bitter suppression that is circling her demeanour, "please come back."


	82. Search

Her breathing is slow, even, a fact that contrasts heavily with the erratic beatings of her heart. The sadness burrows deeply, until it wrenches her from the bed in one frightening jolt. There is a queer expression surfacing her features, as if she is unsure of what to think.

When she stands and makes for the door, she relinquishes control of her body. It is searching for comfort, desperate for the one thing that can alleviate her pain.

Without bothering to cover her nightdress, she enters the deserted hallway. Instantly, the darkness infiltrates with a thickening coldness that has nothing to do with the temperature.

Perhaps it is the impending fear that is settling deep in her stomach, or the anxiety that she may not find her painkiller. But on she walks, the cold, dark path does little to deter her will for security.

And though she cannot physically see her way, there is a strange force that is pulling her towards the safety of solitude.

The silk dress she wears syncs noiselessly with her steps, billowing after as she prances guilelessly across the floor in the deafening quietude.

When she descends a set of stairs, there is a small light coming from a side room off the next level's hallway.

Only when she is standing quietly by the large wooden columns does she break from her strange reverie.

The soft voices tunes her mind towards the conversation between two people sitting on a large couch by the crackling fireplace.

"Don't," says a familiar deep voice.

And Rin sees him, Obito, sitting beside a woman she has never seen before. There is a mixed expression of discomfort and vexation inundating his features as he leans uneasily from her.

The woman, it seems, is looking sulkily at him.

"You were always keen when you were here, why aren't you up for it this time?" The woman says exasperatedly.

Her arms are wrapped tightly around his waist, a look of need and longing in her salacious gaze.

"I'm not interested, go find someone else," he replies coldly.

"I don't want anyone else, I've been thinking about you for months, hoping you'd come back so we can re-visit our times together."

He scowls at her.

"Re-visit our times together? You make it sound like we had a proper history."

The woman sighs loudly.

"I would call it a proper history," she pouts.

He sends her another contemptuous glance.

"I fucked you twice in the span of a year, I wouldn't call that a proper history," he answers disdainfully.

"We could make it a proper history!"

"I'm not interested in you, what part of it don't you get?"

"You were interested enough to sleep with me."

"And that was all I was ever interested in," he replies bluntly.

"Are you seeing a woman or something?"

Obito does not answer, but the expression on his face signifies his answer.

"Who is she?" The woman demands.

There is silence, and in that brief stillness, the woman appears to merge two and two.

"She left you didn't she?" There is a slyness to her tone as she continues to speak, "I can make it better, she doesn't deserve you anyways. And you said it yourself, you're not interested in anything else about me, so why would it matter now then? How about it?"

Obito remains silent, but his expression has altered into a more contemplative look. There is hurt and devastation behind his gaze, as if his mind is racing for the most cogent course of action to alleviate the pain.

And he is staring avidly at the clenched fists on his lap, a futile attempt to suppress the imminent tremors that are now radiating from him.

"Sh-She hates me," he says falteringly.

The woman frowns, as if she did not expect the sudden outburst of emotions coming from him. Perhaps she has only seen one side of him, a cold, dangerous side whose emotions are kept intact, blank and hostile.

"I don't hate you," the woman says, "Forget about her."

"I c-can't," he utters quietly, "everything I do, I do for her."

The woman stares at him, a look of pure disbelief flickering her watch.

"What's so great about her anyway? She obviously put you in this shitty position right now," she says sternly.

At her comment, Obito winces uncomfortably, as if her words offended him and he is physically restraining himself from doing something.

"She believed in me," he answers quietly, "When the world turned away and gave up on me, she was the only one who stood by my side."

"Hmph! Then where is she then? Why isn't she here?" The woman says sarcastically.

"I betrayed her," Obito states bluntly.

"What?"

"Amnesia. She recovered."

His voice is oddly robotic, and Rin gets the feeling he is speaking his mind to no one in particular. As if he can no longer suppress the built up pain, the trigger for such emotional speaking happens to be the woman who is watching him incredulously.

"She never loved you did she? She loved someone else?"

"Her amnesia…I didn't want to deny her."

"Hang on, she had feelings for you and you took advantage of her amnesia?"

The woman's gaze is now wide with interest, the information she has put together to form a cohesive understanding of Obito's situation is remarkably impressive.

"I didn't want to deny her," Obito says again.

The woman lets out a bewildered laugh.

"I'm sure that is a reason but her amnesia was also the perfect opportunity to have that intimacy reciprocated. I mean, who wouldn't take that benefit, getting all that intimacy from the person they love-"

"No," he interrupts, "No benefits to me. Everything I do, I do for her."

The woman frowns. And it takes her several long seconds to process Obito's vague statement.

"You reciprocated her feelings and advances because you didn't want to deny her, and the reason you did not want to deny her was because you loved her, isn't that right?" She says.

He does not answer, but there is a set of guilty emotions parading his face. It spells the answer to the woman's question.

"So basically you're happy to be an experimental doll for her? Reciprocate everything for her, let her do anything to you, emotionally and physically, just to satisfy her needs and wants? That's a very one way relationship if you asked me."

The woman's tone is almost hysterical with severe disbelief.

"She believed in me when no one else did. She can use me however she wants."

There is a stiff silence at his blunt comment. Rin's mind is swirling in a cycle of discontentment and confusion, yet the information she has gotten so far is doing little settle the apprehension in her thoughts.

"I find it hard to believe she would suddenly switch off her feelings for you now that her amnesia is gone," the woman says speculatively, "But hey at least she loved you and not the other person she initially loved."

"I feel like I cheated," Obito answers vacantly.

"She'd never love you otherwise, she would just lament over the other person."

"Cheat to get her? It's not real then. I'd rather let her lament over him."

"You must really hate yourself," the woman frowns.

"What is there to like? I couldn't even protect her, and even now with so much power, I'm still failing. All I want is for her to be happy but the more I try, the worse I seem to make things. I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

At this point, he seems to be speaking out of raw anguish than anything logical.

"Just forget about her! She's not worth it. Come with me, I can make it all better," the woman says.

But Obito appears to be lost in a trance of his own toxic thoughts. He does not move, nor respond when the woman stands abruptly to indicate her departure.

"Fine! Mope alone then," and with that, the woman turns and stalks off without looking back.

x

The harrowing silence is more perceptible than the darkness of the hallway behind.

Her logic tells her to turn and leave, but hurt and guilt compels her to stand rooted to the spot.

Still, Rin cannot comprehend the revelation of Obito's suffering. The raw vulnerabilities he spoke of tonight was perhaps deliberate. Of all people to divulge in, why would it be to someone who is remarkably insensitive?

But it was done with intention. He needed someone to confide in, but also someone who has zero capacity to process the deepness of such painful turmoil.

And it breaks her, that his source of comfort is to seek out someone who would not respond to the desperation of his inner despair.

But she has been beside him all this time, and not once has he showed the slightest inclination to disclose such anguish to her. Perhaps it is her selfishness that has precluded him from shedding his reluctance?

Obito knows. From the very beginning, hostility was perhaps the only way he could have distanced himself from her.

She makes the inarguable connection between his reluctance to pursue their relationship and the possibility of her regret to it. He knows he would not be able to deny her if she pursued him. The hostility is almost justifiable. But then, why did he not tell her?

_"I didn't want to deny you."_

His words were vague, but she learnt from tonight's revelation that his immense love for her was a fuelling factor to withholding their history.

But such reason is not enough to justify withholding such crucial information. Perhaps he did not want to ruin the happiness she had found in him? On her end, she gets a strong instinct there may be other reasons she does not know.

When the rapid beats of anxiety diminishes, she returns her gaze to Obito, who is still sitting in the same space with his body hunched forward and his face buried in his hands.

Even at her approach, he does not stir. Perhaps he is lost in his own thoughts, oblivious to her lingering proximity as she hovers close for a long time.

There is nothing her mind can assimilate. Rin is staring down at his withdrawn demeanour, a substantial element of fragility encircling her as she reaches for him.

The soft touch instantly breaks his reverie, as if he is already so attuned to her presence. When he looks to her, there is a terrible sleeve of devastation suffusing his expression.

He does not speak, just stares wide-eyed, as if he is still processing her propinquity.

"I don't understand," she whispers blankly.

"If you must leave, please just leave and put me out of my misery," he says.

His voice is quiet, yet there is a hard edge to his tone that indicates some level of assertiveness.

She winces uneasily at his comment. And in that same moment, she finds herself speaking her desires, the love she has for him, though discomforting, is unfathomably intense. 

"I don't regret anything," she answers softly.

He watches her cautiously, his expression an indicator that he has not comprehended her words and is awaiting something unpleasant.

The speculation hurts, but she swallows back the impending feeling of disappointment before moving closer.

"The bitterness was painful, but if this was the only way  _we_  could happen, I will do it all over again," she says quietly.

His bewildered stare morphs into confusion, as if he is looking lost and vulnerable in a world where he should feel protected.

But she takes his face and presses his head against her chest. The warmth of his skin is enough to vanquish the suffocating sensation of discontentment that has been swirling inside.

"Do you feel safer now?" She asks lightly.

Obito remains unusually still, yet his body slackens in resignation at her touch.

He does not speak for awhile, until he gently withdraws from her and the wet droplets of tears are damp against her nightdress.

"I failed...I-I don't know how to fix it without making it worse," he utters hopelessly.

Without a change of expression, Rin takes his hand and steps in for another embrace.

"It's okay," she answers softly, "You always did your best."


	83. Reserve

When time is against her, each life changing event is heavily dependent on every millisecond of her actions. For Obito, seconds become hours and minutes become years. The lonely soul that is now so tangible against her skin is holding on by a single thread, a potent sense of determination to keep her presence lingering.

At her gentle persuasion, he reluctantly withdraws from her. There is a set of heavy emotions persisting tenaciously across his face, yet his gaze is oddly lifeless.

When Rin kneels before him, he sends her a perplexed look of concern.

"Do you remember the last time when we were doing exactly this?" She asks mildly.

Obito's expression is stark with confusion, but he relaxes slightly at her light tone.

"Don't you? We were one week into the Academy and it was so rainy and muddy on the way home," she pauses, an immense attempt on her part not to laugh, "and I didn't want to get my shoes wet so you offered to carry me back. But you somehow misjudged the long distance. There was no way you could have carried me all the way home, but you being you, insisted, only to misstep and fall into an enormous pile of mud. We were both covered in that goopy crap-"

At this point, Obito lets out a short tentative laugh.

"-And I sat you down on the bench underneath that maple tree by the lake and had to kneel before you to bandage your knee," she hesitates, "That turned out spectacularly," she finishes sarcastically.

In the tender silence that follows, there is a look of nostalgia in their gazes, a sweet experience only they can re-imagine.

"Of all the times, you had to remember that," Obito says, and he is grinning sheepishly at her.

"I just remember the better times."

She lets out a soft laugh of delight, an act that sees Obito watching her with increasing endearment.

"I've always loved the way you laugh," he whispers lightly.

The comment sends her demure gaze to the ground, but Obito takes her hand and tugs her forward.

"You know, I doubt I'd fall victim to the long distance failure of carrying you this time," he says thoughtfully.

There is a haunting smile that dances ever so serenely on her lips.

"You'll have to prove that to me. No teleporting," she answers softly.

When he lifts her from the ground, there is a look of hidden amusement beneath his watch, as if he knows the outcome but is in it for the process.

And perhaps Rin subconsciously knows this, because her head automatically rests against his shoulder, a sense of security flows through as he carries her into the blackness.

x

Her inn room is warm,  _uplifting_ , a strong resemblance to the entrancing feeling that is reinforced by the presence of her beloved.

Obito sets her on the bed before swiftly backing from her. For a fleeting moment, she thought it may have been involuntary, but behind the pleasant look of desire, the blatant apprehension makes her heart run cold.

There is deliberation in every action, as if his wariness of the situation is being tested by her imminent gestures.

"Goodnight," he says ruefully.

"You don't want to stay with me?" She asks.

She seems to have trouble concealing the dismay in her tone.

He looks to her sadly before turning his gaze to the ground.

"You know I always do."

"Then why are you still standing there?"

He does not answer, but a surge of guilt inundates his features, an element that sparks her sudden comprehension for his reluctance.

"You don't have to hate yourself for what you have done. I stand by my words and feelings - I will do it all over again."

There is hesitation in his demeanour as he tearfully turns away - perhaps out of embarrassment for showcasing such strong emotions.

"You are always so kind, Rin. I don't think anyone would ever be good enough to deserve you," he says quietly.

"Do you think I deserve you?" She whispers.

He looks to her in disbelief.

"You deserve only the best," he replies quickly.

And she smiles at the abrupt comment.

"Then come here," she reaches out a hand for him.

He stares wildly for several seconds before tentatively closing the distance between them. And in that moment where she takes his hand, his arm instantly tenses - perhaps out of pain rather than her.

"What's wrong with your arm?" She asks curiously.

"Nothing of concern," he answers, and she sends him a disapproving frown.

"I'm always watching you, Obito, so please don't hide things from me."

Reluctantly, he allows her peruse.

"This is the same injury I treated you last time," she stares perplexedly at the familiar deep gash across his left arm.

"I got injured again," he answers brusquely.

He does not look at her when he speaks, a component she finds suspicious. But she does not pursue the subject.

"It's mostly dried up blood," she says, "Come, lets get that off you, okay?"

She takes his hand and leads him to the bathroom.

Without speaking, she slides his shirt off before taking the hand held shower head and suffusing his arm with water.

There are splashes of blood across his body, some freshly dried, others old and dark. Again, Rin does not question the extent of such injuries, but that does not detract from the disconcerting expression that is now evident across her face.

"You know, you might as well just step in and shower that all off," she frowns.

"I'll need help," he answers softly.

She looks to him curiously before turning away in diffidence. Her silence spells her reply, but Obito seems more inclined to get a vocal response from her.

"Because you know, I can't reach the area on my back," he continues.

"Well played," she answers mildly.

"Practicality," he whispers, and he is stripping the rest of his clothes before stepping into the rush of water, "Are you okay?" he adds.

He looks slightly troubled at her frozen expression. Perhaps there is an element of surprise at his sudden audacious move, but it is the incredible sight that paralyses her.

Obito's explicit beauty is ever so flagrant, a flawless exemplification of male perfection that personifies the enigmatic aura he invariably carries. Though she has seen the sweetness of his nakedness, the view of his entirety is incredibly alluring. And in the full lighting of an artificial glow, his body reflects a perfectly formed stature of power that far exceeds the definition of superiority. In all her life, Rin has never seen anything so exquisitely arousing.

"Yes," she answers swiftly, "let me help you."

Rin is quiet when assisting him, but the atmosphere's tension is so strong, she finds herself repeatedly working at the same spot - even after the blood is long gone.

"Either I'm still bleeding or the blood residue is glued on rather strongly," Obito says sometime later.

She breaks from the nervous trance before muttering a sheepish apology.

"Are you okay?" he turns and halts her hand.

She does not answer, instead, her attention arrests on the mesmerising droplets of water that is sliding so serenely down that perfect muscular chest. One after another, it continues, sliding and landing gracefully, until she automatically reaches for it.

Good heavens he is incredibly beautiful.

"Rin?"

She does not respond to his quizzical frown, nor the deep heavy breathing he is now actioning in response to her soft caresses. And without so much as flicker, she steps closer, fully clothed in her nightdress, feeling the gush of water as it descends onto her. 

"Rin?"

Obito's voice is uncertain yet his gaze speaks otherwise.

Instantly, the sound of her name and the firm grip on her waist breaks the trance.

"I'm sorry, all done," and she gives him a brief smile, "come here, I'll wash your hair too."

Obito's hold remains firm as she moves through his hair in gentle strokes. With every motion, her body lightly brushes against his, an act that exhibits a thousand enthralling sensations she is forcibly trying to suppress.

"You have a lot of hair, it's rather deceptive," she says, and she lets the water suffuse his hair in heavy wet droplets.

Even when she finishes, Obito does not let go. Instead, his watch lingers on her torso, where the nightdress is clinging possessively to her body in a transparent state, it could look like she is completely naked.

"What a sight," he whispers.

He nudges her forwards so that her soft body is pressing and sliding against the hardness of his chest.

Then, he leans down and kisses her with such reinvigorating sweetness, her heart becomes malleable enough to vanquish the remains of desolation.

When he withdraws from her, he is resting his cheek against her forehead.

"Will it be your turn now?" He breathes.

The comment sears her cheeks with flames of embarrassment.

"I suppose so," she answers quietly.

Without a spoken word, she removes all material barriers, until she is standing and shivering nervously before him. But he gives no reaction to her nakedness, instead he is lathering her hair with the sweet floral scent of soap and running the silky strands between heavy drops of water.

When he finishes, Obito turns her around so she is facing the blank tile walls. And without speaking, he runs the liquid soap down her back, his fingers gently manipulating every muscle as he moves from shoulders to legs.

In Rin's mind, the suppression of rising pleasure is a futile try. The sensation is so excruciatingly intense, it stays rooted at the forefront of her consciousness.

Only when his hand reaches her inner thigh that her breath hitches and a soft muffled gasp emanates their surroundings. And he notices, yet his hand runs further, until it reaches her centre and he is lightly brushing the warmth of sensitive skin. But it does not last long, as if her middle is just like any other part of her body and he is moving on at a leisurely pace.

Her deep exhales reinforces the delightful movement of his hands, which has now strayed between her breasts before enclosing them in his palms. In time-freezing moment, his fingers manipulate the stiffen peaks that have notably changed in size and sensitivity. And again, he notices.

"I'm hurting you," he says to her sudden wince.

"No," she replies swiftly, "just-just sensitive."

She does not face him for fear he may read the guilty emotions of her secret. But he is staring curiously, his gaze sweeping back and forth between her face and the size of her swollen, tender breasts.

She has not forgotten the rapid changes to her body and how responsive it is to every sensation in her environment. And these feelings are at odds with her mind. For the sake of both their sanity and her very limited time, she has chosen not to disclose the situation happening inside her. Yet the new life continues to gravitate towards him.

"Don't stop," she continues.

When Obito resumes his actions, he leans in and encloses his mouth over the harden tip of her breast. The gentle drawing motion sends a flurry of heated desire throughout that ends feverishly in the very depths of her womb. As he lets go, the emotions instantly dissipate, leaving a lingering feeling of loneliness and neglect.

"Do you want more?" He whispers from behind.

At his comment, she swiftly turns, pressing against him with impatient zeal and running her fingers across his chest as if delicately perusing a frangible artwork. When she lightly brushes his nipple, he lets out a restrained groan that acts as an incremental cue for her impending action. Her mouth takes over, lovingly tasting the saltiness of his skin as she drowns herself in his enrapturing scent.

And when her lips ventures upwards to meet his in a potent kiss, Obito's response is instantaneous. Possessively, his arm encircles her in a tight embrace before lifting her leg so it sits firmly against his side. With effortless movement, he fills her, so sweetly, passionately, she can feel the pulsating need spreading within.

Not once throughout their avid lovemaking does she show signs of hesitancy or reluctance. Her insatiable need for love is so immense, she barely notices the pain as he mercilessly grips her waist.

At his release, the suppressed groan manifests as reluctant gasps, resonating from the back of his throat like an enticing dulcet sound, it temporarily disrupts her focus.

Her deep satisfactory sigh of fulfilment sends a wave of exhilaration throughout that persists when she collapses against him.

Then, she is syncing her breathing with the steady, tranquillising intake of his breath, the atmosphere of falling water and satisfying heat becomes a reinforcement to the love she so dearly misses.

x

"Rin, there is something I'd like to give you," Obito says.

She is already sliding comfortably between the coolness of sheets, her body exhausted from the sudden wave of fatigue.

Obito sits beside her, the soft glow of moon reflecting those well defined muscles of his arms that were so gentle against her fragile body. And when her gaze sweeps his entirety, she is disappointed that his pants are back on.

"What is it?"

She looks to him curiously as he takes something from his pocket.

"One tool in reserve," he says quietly, and he is taking her hand and placing the object in her palm.

The gold-bronze necklace is ancient, yet there is a strange mythical energy that is emanating in a soft aura. The intricate symbol is circular in shape, with three long triangles evenly spaced and curved, reminiscent of a pinwheel. The shape's outline is black followed by a thin dark shade of red. Although old, it is remarkably beautiful.

"What is it for?" She asks inquisitively.

"It's been passed down for generations. It is a gift given to the eldest son's wife who marries into the family. I inherited it from my mother before she died, so I guess my father was either the eldest living son or an only child," he pauses before staring vacantly out the window, "Not that I'd want to delve that deeply into my family's history."

Rin frowns.

"Why not?"

"I don't know too much about them, the Uchiha aren't exactly a clan that gives out their information so publicly, particularly my bloodline."

He watches her speculatively before continuing.

"That necklace has only appeared twice throughout our entire family history."

Rin looks to him in puzzlement.

"What do you mean?"

"There is a secret room in my family that can only be accessed with my bloodline's Sharingan. The chamber contains an ancient stone that specifically holds that necklace. If the woman who currently owns the necklace does not pass it on to her eldest living son before she dies, it will disappear with her and only re-emerge at random."

"Why is it so complicated?"

"I don't know, I don't make the rules."

"What is it supposed to do?"

"There is an element of protection, but I don't know the extent of its powers. I don't know enough about it, and besides it is only of use to the woman it is gifted to."

"Why are you giving it to me, I-"

She stops herself abruptly.

Does he know of her fate?

Her indispose status and those recurring dark-grey lines are blatant enough, but not once has he ever questioned her about them or why her health is deteriorating.

Obito gives her that reticent look she can never decrypt, but his expression softens and he takes the necklace from her hand.

"I won't be giving it to anyone else. Turn around, I'll put it on you."

Tentatively she complies, and when he hovers close, she has the incredible urge to sink back into him.

"Fits you nicely," he says quietly, and he presses a warm kiss to her neck.

"Thank you," she says.

For a fleeting moment, nothing happens, but then a sudden rush of comforting warmth surges through and her fatigue lifts. The very faint dark-grey lines that are weakly concealed by her jutsu has receded into her skin, followed by an insurmountable feeling of vitality she cannot pin down.

"I feel strange," she continues.

There is a troubled look crossing Obito's features.

"Are you okay?"

Rin nods.

"In a good way," she answers, and he is looking relieved.

"I don't think this is any ordinary necklace," she continues.

She turns to face him fully.

"I feel at ease," she takes his hand and shuffles in for an embrace.

Their contact deepens, holding on to each other so tightly, Rin can feel the desperation reverberating between them. And when Obito leans in to kiss her, she responds with equal vigor.

His kisses are meek and tender, surfeit with immense desire, it draws her way from the darkness of solitude and into a familiar realm of encapsulating hope and optimism. For her, it is a never-ending cascade of entrancing passion that craves for his undying love.

But when his hand moves from her waist to her torso and down towards her abdomen, she instantly stiffens in horrified silence. Perhaps there is fear he may discover her bittersweet secret or that reality has deliberately barred her from sharing that beautiful opportunity. Either way his presence to this concealed hope is so dangerously close, she is afraid he may decrypt her from just touch alone.

There is a disconcerting frown etched between his expression, yet she deliberately evades his watch by burying her face into his shoulder.

She welcomes his non-existent response to her actions, as if he understands the emotional turmoil swirling in her mind. But when he pries himself from her, she does not make any dismissive moves, afraid he may detach and break the palliative proximity.

Only sometime after when she is finally looking at him does she respond to the tender expression he is giving her.

"Do you want to know something?" She asks softly.

His gaze is wistful, yet highly attentive.

"I love you so very much."


	84. Lament

It must be hours into the night when the gentle lament stirs her. Initially, she thought it came from outside, but when she shuffles against Obito, the sound rattles.

"Hey."

Her voice is soft, carrying a trace of anxiety into the atmosphere. When Rin faces him, her gaze transfixes itself on his woeful state.

This whole time, Obito has been sitting upright, his arms pinned to her waist as she curls comfortably against his body. But even with the security he exudes, she can feel his impending misery.

There is a trail of wet tears sticking to his face, as if many layers have dried up, leaving a paved pathway for the next set of droplets.

"Hey," she whispers, "I'm here."

Obito's watch is glassy, deprived of all emotions, as if his mind has tuned out and he is lost in his own world of thoughts.

"Everywhere," he utters, "the blood."

He gives a rough gasp of air, the expression on his face is so frightened, it could look like he is living a nightmare.

"Obito?" She says gently.

Rin nudges him, but he continues to stare wildly in her direction. His gaze is still empty and she gets the instinct he is staring past her.

"So much blood…" he mutters, "Rin…why…it must have hurt so much…"

Then he is blindly reaching for her, his fingers brushing the side of her collarbone before sliding towards her left chest. And he rests his hand there, as if determined to feel each beat of her heart.

"Rin…why…there is so much blood…give her back…"

And his body trembles, another gush of tears,  _unconsciously,_ a world of turmoil evident on each line, each scar.

"Please give her back…my only light…give her back to me…"

Without a word, or the initiation of movement, Rin watches on in horrified silence. She has no memory of it, but she knows what he is re-living.

"Obito," she shakes him gently, "please."

And in that moment, she realises the insurmountable wet droplets that are dripping onto his outstretched hand. But they are her tears, mimicking the dreadful event that is plaguing his mind, and the petrification of his suffering in that hopeless void.

"Obito."

Her incessant shaking does little to vanquish the terrifying situation. Only when she reaches for him, her hands cupping his face and her lips pressed to his, that he suddenly breaks from the unconscious world.

He is looking thoroughly confused, yet there is an element of distress behind his dark gaze.

"Rin."

His tone is oddly flat, as if he is stepping out from his nightmare and is still processing its content.

"Rin…I'm so scared."

"It's okay, I'm right here," she leans in to embrace him.

"Stay and watch over me, okay?"

His voice breaks in between short gasps, as if his lungs are closing and oxygen is minimal.

But her reassuring presence is the elixir that restores his ailment of fear. And though she does not directly address his question, her actions leave a soothing trail of security.

"I'll be watching."


	85. Grateful

In the last two days, he has been researching. Energy and effort for the sake of revenge is undoubtedly substantial. But pride is what keeps him level-headed when achieving his goal.

News of Orochimaru's death is something he wishes to dismiss, but he cannot seem to fend off that nagging feeling of being doubted, second guessed.

He was prepared to return, remove Orochimaru from earth's existence. Perhaps that goal subconsciously fed into his desire for Rin's presence, otherwise he would not readily accept her. But her existence on the team is redundant. He never extracted a single piece of Intel from her in relation to Orochimaru.

Either way, that creepy bastard is dead. Itachi is dead. And he is angry. He wanted his revenge, but someone has taken it from his grasp and he will find Uchiha Sasuke and he will destroy every ounce of him.

Today, he has pieced together Sasuke's recent whereabouts, yet the treacherous terrains and horrendous flying conditions has delayed his departure. There has been no word from the Akatsuki leader, perhaps the other teams are still on the hunt for their tailed-beast.

No matter, it is a good opportunity for him to do what he needs to do.

"Deidara?"

The voice is mellow, yet familiar.

Rin is striding towards him, a haunting expression flickering her face as she nears.

She is looking bright, as healthy as he has ever seen her, but beneath that glow is a solemn look of despair hidden by traces of forced composure and content.

"Look what the cat dragged in," he smirks.

She watches briefly before resigning to that very forced smile she puts on when dread befalls.

"Nice to see you too," she answers frostily.

When she is sitting beside him under the large oak tree, there is a benign look to her expression, as if the sense of despair he witnessed earlier has suddenly dissipated.

"What is it? Are we leaving?" he asks.

"Not yet," she hesitates briefly, "there is something I'd like to say."

"Another one of your women issues?" he says sarcastically.

She ignores the comment.

"Tobi," she continues, and his interest suddenly piques, "look out for him won't you?"

He does not register the uneasy look she is now giving him. His incredulous stare bypasses the answers he would have retrieved in relation to her solemn demeanour.

"What? You think I'm his mother or something?"

Inexplicably, a surge of red floods his face and he is unsure of its underlying meaning. But Rin only smiles, as if she can read through such meanings and it has given her the answer she needs.

"Hey Deidara, your artwork," she points to the tiny sculptures laying innocuously on the grass beside him, "always a masterpiece I'm grateful for."

The comment is random, yet he feels an odd level of significance that binds to those words. And when he looks to her in surprise, she is taking his hand with a chillingly expressive look.

The emotions translate to the physical feelings of repose, as if he is drifting in and out of a tranquilising state. But the memories of such experience is brief.

A soft musical sound, the neighing of a horse and his conscious opens to reality.

The skies are ever so blue, reinforced by the brightness of sun that ignites an array of glistening magic to the lush green grass.

The oak tree he sits beneath is oddly surreal, as if something is happening but he cannot pinpoint it. Perhaps he dozed off? He is still figuring out why he is sitting here in the first place.

"I should find Tobi and await instructions," he mutters.

But damn, he has things to do. Vengeance does not last long in the shinobi world - not unless he fancies other ninjas taking a slice of his revenge.

He is lucky, Tobi as a partner has given him the freedom to lead.

And with just the two of them all these months since their partnering, he can easily attain his goals in addition to that of his Akatsuki duties.


	86. Reminder

It was the right thing to do and she hates it. But given the circumstances, Rin has little freedom to choose between the lesser of two evils.

Her morals stand strong, her belief in the significance of memories is what brought her here today. But she has no rights to meddle with other people's memories.

_It was the right thing to do._

Perhaps her action runs deeper than simply erasing one's memories. How different would it be if it was someone she barely knew? Deidara may not be in sync with her own values, but they are comrades. In the ninja world, comrades become the crux of a shinobi's existence, and for that reason, her motive to protect extends beyond her impression of someone who does not see eye to eye with her.

The cascade of guilt continues to flow, yet her instinct applauds her action. No matter how her logic reasons, the element of her emotions sit raw and heavy.

Though she was careful to keep components of Deidara's memory intact, and erase all traces of her existence, she still cannot shake the feeling of sabotage.

But such sensation ends abruptly.

Standing a fair distance from her is the familiar black stallion, its enormous eyes transfixed intently onto her. The horse's presence may evoke sudden feelings of fear, but its slow and meek approach is perhaps more of a gentle reminder.

"That's right," she whispers.

Only when it stands close that the sudden memories return - from her final encounter with her master to the revelation of her fate back in those woeful dungeons.

_"I am going to make use of time," she whispers, "I need you."_

_The horse stares, but she understands it. Not through words, but through a strange connection she calls feelings._

_"My existence in this world for the past seventeen years has become more of an impediment than anything. I feel this opportunity would make things right. Please?"_

_She stares inquisitively at the stallion, who is surveying her closely. And she nods, a strong indicator that its answer can only be connected through feelings._

_"Life never intended this to happen. That resurrection jutsu…I cannot even begin to fathom…no matter, rather me to suffer than anyone else."_

_She steps closer so her shadow is swallowed by the stallion's greater silhouette._

_"Their memories. Everyone that knew me after my resurrection. I want you to erase my existence from their world. I have never existed beyond my death."_

_The silence lingers, but astonishingly, there is a component of relief and acceptance that is tunnelling its way through her body._

_"Those two. Leave those two to me, okay?"_

_Deidara, she knows she has to._

_But Tobi? The permanent wastage of their precious moments together, no matter how little, or how badly things have ended between them in the last few days, is what she would deem an atrocity._

_Even if it goes against her plans to erase her existence from this world, she cannot bring herself to tamper his memories of her. Perhaps it stems from selfish desires, that his memory of her is an indicator that she existed in his world._

_When she turns from the escalating guilt-ridden thoughts, the stallion suddenly piques, as if it read her mind and is disapproving of her impending actions with Tobi. But it knows her emotional turmoil, and though sceptical, it seems to accept her actions with no more than a low sounding neigh._

_"I can't let him go…I don't want him to forget me. Please make an exception, and then, I won't defy it anymore," she continues softly._

_Her hand reaches for the stallion's nose, the touch a signification of its impending task._

_Then, it disperses into the air, returning when time allows._

And the time is almost here, yet Rin is unfazed by its presence. As if calling from another world, a soft beckoning light that will guide her into the warmth, the horse stands close. Then, her gaze swivels to the horizon and that beautiful mass of ocean is glistening back at her.

Atop the mysterious expanse is the familiar looking island, exuding a strange yet familiar aura she has once succumbed to on her first encounter with ocean.

When her watch returns to the stallion, it has vanished. In that moment, she knows of its intention. In its place is Obito, who is observing her with that reticent look she has long given up on trying to fathom.

"Is everything okay?" He asks.

There is a look of blandness that accompanies his question, and Rin is still unsure whether he knows more than he lets on.

"Yes," she answers blankly.

A rough silence stretches between them, yet she struggles to hear her own thoughts reverberating loudly across her mind.

There is a large knot of consternation tightening itself within, but one look at Obito and the action halts. No constriction, no dilation. Stalled.

"Where are we going?" He asks.

It takes her several seconds to process his question. Yes, she did mention they rendezvous here, on the very outskirts of the inn's territory. But the obliteration of Deidara's memories of her has delayed her arrival. Regardless, she is here now and reality is going to show her the way.

"I need you to take me there," she says.

Her fingers lightly brushes the air in front, a solid indicator of her intentions with the island ahead. But when she looks to her beloved, he is staring blankly in that direction.

"That's right, you cannot see it," she continues softly.

And tentatively, she steps forward, until her toes are dangling off the cliff's perimeters and the sounds of ocean is so loud, she is sure those from miles away can hear.

"Hey," Obito suddenly takes her arm.

"It's okay, I can take us there," he continues quietly.

The fleeting expression of sadness and resignation is brief, but its emanation is so strong, she feels it like a jolt of lightning.

"You can?"

He steps forward and presses a light kiss to her forehead.

"Anywhere you go, I'll follow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final four chapters, (Chapters 87-90) will be published simultaneously by the end of this month.


	87. Disclosure

Black Sand Island has an ominous yet alluring vibe. It is a world suffused with unique beauty that is heavily shrouded in the depths of an everlasting darkness.

The sand is soft, smooth, heaven to the touch against bare skin, but visually, it is deceptively grotesque, immoderately coated in an inky black colour to rival the swallowing gloom of a black hole.

Nonetheless, the beauty is enticing and enthrallingly sinister, stretching all the way into the ocean and giving off a blackish appearance to its waters.

The surrounding region consists of giant rock formations that are strongly reminisent of Cascades's mountainous area. Except, the trees are dead and the surface of land are parched and empty.

Mid afternoon does not resemble the brightness of sun. Their surrounding is a darkened night sky with an unmarred canvas of zero stars. Perhaps it is the ubiquitous presence of black sand and black waters?

No, the sky is true black. The purple sheen is gone and the moon shines an agonising multitude of shadowy shades that looks oddly bleak.

Atop the highest cliff sits a patchy white lighthouse that sends a strong beam of black light into the ocean. And when the illumination hits the waters, it disappears into the empty blackness.

"I don't understand," Rin says quietly.

Her gaze hovers on the dematerialising light.

"Why is the light black?" She continues.

When she looks to Obito, he is staring back in bewilderment.

But she does not speak. He cannot see it.

When she tentatively brushes the surface of water, her fingers retract in alarm. The temperature is warm.

"Do you feel it?" She asks shakily, "the water's temperature?"

Obito is silent but he eventually complies and repeats the same action against water.

"Cold," he answers flatly.

I don't know how to comprehend this place," she says quietly.

He does not reply, so she stands there in silence, forcibly diluting her mind from the impending feelings of unconsciousness.

The black-grey lines against her skin is the starkest it has ever been, and disturbingly, she can see how it is cutting into her skin rather that sitting innocuously atop it.

Only when the winds strengthens that Obito speaks.

"Let's go," he says discordantly.

He takes her hand and guides her away from the silent recoiling waters.

They sit beneath a large arch formation that provides little protection against the coldness, albeit they are shaded from the raw howling gales.

The quietude between them continues, until the shrieks of nature subsides and Rin is shuffling closer to him. And for reasons beyond interpretation, he is looking resigned yet tense, as if the exhaustion marks that are attached to every line of his face has aged him at least five years.

When she reaches for him, he startles from an apparent reverie and pulls her in for a possessive embrace. Though he is warm, something does not bode well with her.

When she attempts to break from him, he allows the physical separation of only several inches before he grips her arms and holds her in place. The fear is so flagrant across his face, she does not resist.

Only when she relaxes does he finally look relieved.

"Obito, this island, you said you have been here before. How did you know about it?"

Her question contains a passive motive that has nothing to do with his travels. He knows something about this island, and already he is looking uneasy with the underlying question.

"Brink of death," he replies vaguely.

When Rin looks troubled, he hastily continues.

"You can only see and access it if you are or have been on the brink of death," he pauses and stares restively at her, "I almost died from that boulder," he finishes.

Perhaps she is subconsciously dismissing the correlation between this island and death or that she finds his knowledge of this place rather intriguing, but her curiosity takes over.

"You couldn't see it before when we were on Lake Sand," she mumbles.

"The island is located at the exact same spot and never moves, so like I said, those who are or have been on the brink of death can see it," another short pause, "Although, it seems to appear in random locations as an illusion to people who are currently on the verge of death," another brief hesitation, "Also, not everyone who meets that near death criteria would be able to see this place. I don't know why."

She lets the explanation sit. Even with Obito's extensive knowledge of this strange world, there are many things that even he cannot answer.

But some questions are meant to have an explanation.

"Appears to those who are or have been on the brink of death," she says slowly, "You know, don't you?"

He watches her impetuously before that gaze widens in denial.

"I don't know-"

"Are you really saying that?" she interjects brokenly, "You look at me like this, my physical state, and you're telling me you don't know?"

Her tone turns irascibly hard as she forcibly stems a bout of furious tears from flowing through.

"You knew everything didn't you?"

The harrowing silence sinks deep, a perfect mimic of their surroundings that epitomises the emptiness of this island.

"Of course I knew," he answers eventually, and his voice is barely above a quivering whisper, "Did you really think I would ignore your presence when you appeared?"

"You planned for this from the start?" She asks shakily.

He does not immediately speak, but when he does, it is full of agonising reluctance.

"Akatsuki is not an organisation that just accepts anyone."

"It was you all along, you purposely made me a part of your team so you could keep an eye on me," she states incredulously.

He remains silent but his demeanour does not show traces of denial.

And she glares at him, the spitefulness bouncing uncomfortably at the back of her throat at his disclosure.

"Your act of hostility was uncalled for and don't you tell me that it was entirely because of your assumptions regarding my regrets towards our relationship," she continues lowly.

On instinct, her earlier supposition of his reluctance to pursue their relationship runs much deeper than just his feeling guilty for taking advantage of her amnesia.

"No, it wasn't," he answers contritely.

Of course not. They could have easily been friends yet something else other than his refusal to deny her of affection played a role in barring him. He knows something but his unwillingness to disclose hurts.

"You know I don't belong here," she whispers dismally.

"I know," he answers, "and I want to rip him apart for dragging you back into this hell," he continues coldly.

She watches him with inconsolable resentment, unable to fathom the extent of how much he knows.

"Did you know I was going to turn out like this?"

"Yes."

"Yet you kept watch with such pretentious hostility and emotional distancing," she says dispiritedly.

"Yes, a selfish act," he replies gravely.

"If you knew this was going to happen then what difference does the distance and the hostility make?"

He closes his eyes in resignation, as if she has finally backed him into a corner and she is seconds from understanding the truth.

"The further I stayed away from you, the longer your memories remain repressed, but it never worked out that way did it…" he trails off helplessly.

"How does that even-"

"Of course he never told you, he'd lose such a talented medic if he did," he interrupts pointedly.

Obito hesitates, an enormous attempt on his part to contain the blaring infuriation.

"You're supposed to be a medical machine, deprived of all memories in order to faithfully serve, that is the point of the forbidden resurrection jutsu," he says, "So there are flaws because if the person being resurrected associates with someone who they were close to in the past, their memories will return." A pause. His stare is transfixed on the dreary rocks of this cold cave before he finishes in bitter contemp, "The  _closer_  the association, the faster the memories return."

A sickening air of apprehensive silence follows this revelation. Rin does not comment on the despondent explanation, but she can already feel the uneasy bodily responses.

"I cannot…" he starts in begrudging dissatisfaction.

His eyes shuts hard in terror, a mimic of the frustrating actions of his clenched hands that are clinging rigidly to his hair.

"Obito, I'm in this too-"

"Don't you ever say things like that!" he interjects sharply.

"No! Listen to me," she pries his arms from his head, "I wanted it too so don't put all the blame on yourself."

He looks up at her but his gaze remains entranced on something behind.

"But I knew…yet I still did it anyway, I don't know…"

And he is looking thoroughly bewildered, so lost and deprived of any direction. The extent of his love for her is something she can never elucidate. He knew of her fate, yet he opened up to her, knowing full well his actions would consequently destroy her.

On her end, death is inevitable. She died once she can die again, but perhaps the death of one's emotion is greater than that of a physical demise. To her, Obito is already dying.

When she moves to embrace him, his distress slowly dissipates, until he is no longer looking frantic and lost. Then she takes his face and gently kisses him, her desperation to feel his love against her evident in the sweet fervor of her touch.

He barely responds, but the very minimal reaction she gets speaks a thousand tender words. The need is insatiably profound.

When she breaks from him, the world around blurs and the familiar piercing pain resurfaces. But the pain is strangely surreal, as if it is there but she is not feeling the agony associated with it.

"Rin, you promised you'll watch over me so please don't stop doing that, okay?" he says fearfully.

Obito's gaze is transfixed on something behind her, albeit her attempts to track his watch is futile. He is already holding her arms steady, an increasing level of apprehension evident across his features.

"Obito-"

"You promise?" he says again with more force.

The agony is flagrant but she gets a sudden jolt of instinct that it may not be the real Obito speaking.

"I'm going to make this world a better place for you, I promise you that," he continues, "I'll get us there, and we can definitely get out of this hell."

He finishes on agitation, and not even the obvious petrified gaze she gives him can detract from his sudden derange state. His expression is now insinuated with desperation, an impassive look of ruthlessness ready to decimate those who stand in his way.

When she attempts to withdraw from him, the frenzied look escalates.

"Obito," she cries softly.

And as sudden as it appeared, the mania vanishes with a look of deep despair.

"Rin-"

His voice is drowned by a low neigh. The unexpected sound swiftly turns her, and not even Obito's firm grip could stop the movement.

The black stallion is standing behind her, its enormous shadow hovering as it quietly approaches.

"Rin…"

She turns to him sadly.

He has been distracting her from the stallion.

"I'm so sorry, Obito," she quivers.

This time, she forcibly withdraws herself and makes a stand.

"Rin, no! Please, no!"

He quickly rises in an attempt to take her arm, but she is too quick. She gives him a brief knowing glance before following the stallion out into the open skies.


	88. Always

The skies are dark, blacker than ever with an emerging thunderstorm. The colours of inky ebony against the uniqueness of her surrounding is perfectly harmonious with an atmosphere that radiates dejected emotions.

As tired and as feeble as she is, her legs are determined to stray tentatively after the stallion. And for the first time in so long, she is afraid. Not out of her impending fate, but the repercussions that follows.

But soon the wind escalates, taking her deleterious mind from the toxic environment that is reality and forcing her to breathe untainted air in an act of pure contradiction.

Reality is everywhere, the environment, the skies, the ground, the sea, the  _air_. There is no escaping it now.

Behind, she hears the sudden rush of heavy footsteps. Obito is fumbling after her, an expression of immense terror and helplessness permeating his features.

"Rin!"

She turns from him, staring out into the dark ocean.

Ahead, the stallion halts and watches their interactions closely, as if awaiting something.

Then Obito is standing beside her, so close she can feel the welcoming security from his nearness.

"I'm sorry," she says softly, "I wish things were different."

"Then you wouldn't…" and he briefly glances at the stallion.

His tone is blunt with almost a level of accusation beneath it. Perhaps it stems more out of fear than anything remotely to do with her impending actions.

"Please don't," she answers hurtfully, "I'm sorry..." she trails of uselessly.

There is a sudden wave of numbness that sweeps through her. It temporarily stalls her conscious, as if time has stopped entirely. And it lasts for several seconds before she is released from the bizarre sensation.

On Obito's end, he seems acutely unaware.

"Are you really?" He replies brokenly.

With such levels of weakness, she is surprised the urge to throttle him is real, but it manifests in a wave of hurtful emotions that ends with a trail of warm tears.

"Do you doubt me?" She asks quietly.

"I don't know. I'm not used to people caring."

The brusque statement stings

"Kakashi cares," she says shortly.

His face darkens at the comment, as if Kakashi's name evokes a deep-seated fury.

"He's irrelevant," he answers pointedly.

"What are you saying?"

"Kakashi failed to protect you so in my eyes he betrayed me. Don't you go making excuses for him," he replies coldly.

"Don't blame him for what he couldn't control-" she retorts exasperatedly.

"I know why you did it," he interrupts indifferently, "But that doesn't matter anymore."

He moves to hold her shoulders.

"I'll protect you this time, I won't let anyone hurt you and this reality, I'll make this world a better place," he continues quickly.

She steps from him, sensing an irrational desperation in his gaze that dangerously resembles delirium.

"Rin," he starts in puzzlement and she can see the trepidation etching deeper into his face.

"No, you can't," she whispers frantically.

"Why are you saying that? I will protect you!"

This time, she backs from him fearfully, no longer able to comprehend the illogical explanations.

"I'm dying Obito! Why are you denying the inevitable when it's so blatantly obvious before you?" she cries hurtfully.

"No! You're not going anywhere!" he says fiercely.

He takes several uneasy steps to cover the distance between them. And when the firm grip on her arms strengthens, she lets another bout of tears fall.

Light rain drizzles. The wind escalates and she notices it. Those dark-grey lines on her shoulders begin to crack, like the thirsty ground of a very dry desert. And within her line of sight, the black stallion continues to gaze intently.

"Obito, I'm so sorry, l wish things were different, but I don't know what else I could do."

The comment sends an electrifying shudder through the air that manifests in his violent wince.

"All that I've done, that I've tried…yet I could not save you…twice I failed, what kind of person am I?"

He kneels before her, a wave of brutal despair submerging his features. And without realising the detriment of his action, his head presses firmly against her torso. The firm grip he has around her waist instantly slackens, as if the connection between his mind and body has suddenly disengaged.

There is a strong bout of harrowing devastation that sits against her like a heavy boulder. Obito has gone unusually still, pale, a look of resentment in those fear-laden wide eyes. And it takes seconds for her to feel the same torment that is hacking ruthlessly at his insides.

"Why…" he whispers vacantly, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to protect you from the very thing that is breaking you now," her cries are no match for the grief that is sitting so angrily within his deepened gaze.

He knows. Her chakra is too low to obscure the secret any longer.

And in just that moment, that sweet new life is first to go. Her diminishing chakra can no longer sustain the precious energy-consuming existence.

They both feel it leave, slowly, bit by bit, as if torn torturously from her body and disappearing from the mortal world it will never see.

In the same seconds that agonisingly stretches on for hours, the ancient necklace breaks, somehow vanishing in a beam of gold-blue light together with the destruction of that second chakra.

"No…please no…not like this…"

Obito's frantic voice is barely audible above the sounds of stormy winds. But the more she tunes into it, the bigger the gaping wound gets.

With every drop of rain comes another crack in the lines, until the wind syncs with the rain and it crumbles and disperses into the air. She cannot feel anything, but the gradual separation of reality into another strange warm realm is remarkably welcoming.

Incredibly, she can still feel the tightened embrace and hear the frantic incoherent whispers that is drifting painfully from him.

"Rin…I don't want to be alone," his voice breaks and roughens into heartbreaking misery.

"Obito," she says delicately, "promise me you won't blame yourself for this."

He is watching her with increasing agitation, as if he has not processed a single word she spoke.

"You said you'd watch over me, you said you would, you said you would…"

"I won't break my promise to you," she whispers.

He flinches uneasily, letting out a noise that sounds a lot like a wounded animal. And his fingers are pressing deeply into her sides, as if endeavouring to prevent anymore of her from crumbling away.

"No…no…you're not taking her away from me, not again."

His mutters are feverish, almost incomprehensible, the immense heart wrenching sobs continues to fuel the grief and confusion of his inevitable failure to protect her.

"Rin, please don't leave me."

Her embrace is a temporary safeguard against the violent trembling of his body, but she knows its absence may lead to regrets.

Behind him is the black stallion, who has come incredibly close and is awaiting patiently for her. But it is also giving her an option. Instinct says it is the right thing to do.

Her memories of their relationship would not tarnish, and if one can preserve its fragility, its existence would always have been a reality.

And it hurts yet she does it without hesitation.

Time is unforgiving but it is the one thing that forged those wistful memories. Without time, there would be no existence.

The irony sits heavy, but to her - and Obito, it is allowing for time's inevitable victory yet depriving it from its prize.

When her hands rests on either side of his face, the convoy of despondent and agonising emotions depart from his conscious. A part of her lifts at the sight. He may not be free from the grief that manifested seventeen years ago, but at least he is free from the burden of self-blame, the despair of their relationship and the deprivation of fatherhood.

When the winds disperses her, there is only one thing left of her memory. Just enough for that small beaming conscious to grasp - she was a shinobi of  _Konoha_.

Yet still, if only there was more time.

_I promise I'll always watch over you. I'll be waiting._


	89. Gift

_In all this universe has to offer, the purity of your existence is what transcends peace and kindness. Maybe I am naive with what they call love, or maybe I crave for what they call hope, but there are countless perfections that I have witnessed in this world. Across limitless skies, loving you is the greatest gift of them all._

_Your reality is my reality, because when they all turned on me, you were the one who held onto my hand, and saved me from myself._


	90. Epilogue

_One Year Post-Fourth Shinobi World War_

"Kakashi-sensei!"

It is two hours past midnight and the insurmountable paper work show no signs of diminishing. An unusually cloudless night for winter, but the residents of Konoha are less than perturbed about the commotion occurring at the Hokage's quarter.

"Naruto, keep it down," she says disapprovingly.

"Sakura-chan! What are you doing here?"

There is a brief pause, until he processes the presence of a former teammate and her inexplicably early return.

"I only arrived, just handing the mission's report, what on earth is happening with you?"

"You're already back?" Naruto says quickly, "Actually, you better come too."

Kakashi and Sakura exchange significant looks.

"Naruto, it's two in the morning-" Kakashi starts.

"No time to explain, quick," he interjects impatiently.

Without awaiting an answer, he vanishes down the shivering corridors and into the night skies.

Kakashi and Sakura follow suit, not a word spoken between them, yet a strong component of perplexed body language is exchanged.

Naruto is at least a hundred metres in front, his restless energy emanating through the stillness of an odd night.

And ahead, they see the source of his impatience.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Sakura's voice rings through the air in vibrant surprise.

"You're back so early from your travels?" She continues.

There is a sanguine edge to her tone, as if hopeful that Sasuke's early return would be indicative of his permanent proximity to her.

"With reason," Sasuke answers, he nods at Kakashi as a sign of acknowledgement, "Have you noticed yet?" He continues inquisitively.

Again, Sakura and Kakashi exchange puzzled looks. They are missing something, albeit Naruto appears just as confused.

"What are we supposed to be noticing?" Sakura asks.

"Sakura-chan, is it not obvious?" Naruto frowns.

When she does not answer, he brusquely speaks.

"Sasuke is back!"

The thwack across his head reverberates through the atmosphere.

"Are you being smart with me, Naruto?" she shrieks.

"Sakura-chan, I genuinely thought you didn't notice-"

"Keep talking and I'll make sure you won't notice anything," she interrupts irascibly.

"Keep it down you two," Kakashi says, "Sasuke, why are you back?"

Sasuke does not speak, but his gaze tracks to a spot in the sky. And the source of the evening's fiasco is so obvious, Kakashi wonders how two adept ninjas and a Hokage would need help seeing it.

Etched into the vast expanse is a large black opening. Like a black hole, light does not penetrate its internal and when Kakashi stands closer, there is a bizarre sensation flowing through his skin and liquifying his internal.

"Say…Kakashi-sensei, what is that?" Naruto asks.

Kakashi instantly backs away, his watch averts to Sasuke before speaking in consternation.

"You know something about this?"

There is a contemplative look to Sasuke's face, as if he is determining how best to surmise the situation to a group of slow learning people.

"I've been travelling the North land's mountainous regions. Deep within Cascades Mountain was a chamber I identified were used for sacrificial purposes. It must have been thousands of years old but carved beneath the main stone bench were a series of symbols. I was able to copy and decode parts of it, despite large chunks missing. It was talking about the existence of a parallel universe and the chakra amounts required to open up the dimension. Next to it was a drawing reminiscent of that giant black hole up there," he takes out a piece of paper from his pocket that shows a series of roughly drawn symbols, "Also, between the stones, I found this," he draws out another paper from his pocket.

On it in small, neat handwriting reads,

Konoha 01111033

"Isn't that today's date?" Sakura says interestedly.

"That's why you're here," Kakashi says and Sasuke returns his watch to the now pulsating void.

"What do you think is going on? Is this for real?" Sakura frowns.

"This is stupid," Naruto mutters, "Nothing we can't beat. We acquired peace within the shinobi world, this is-"

"This is not the same, Naruto, this is something else," Sasuke interrupts pointedly.

"I don't believe this," he replies stubbornly, "It's some sort of trick!" He runs beneath the hole.

"Hey! Don't be reckless!" Kakashi shouts.

"You see," Naruto continues, "Nothing-"

"Naruto!"

"Shit!"

"Idiot!"

"What's happening?"

The words keep spilling, yet not one can be linked to its owner.

Above, Naruto's body is hurled skywards, his upper torso vanishes as Sasuke and Kakashi take hold of either side of his dangling legs.

But then they too are being hurled upwards in one tremendous force that has nothing to do with the might of gravity.

Below, Sakura suddenly emerges and though Sasuke is shouting frantic words at her to keep away, and Kakashi is feverishly gesturing for the same thing, she seems unable to hear or comprehend their language.

And then she is being lifted from the ground, her body floating past her teammates, a flagrant expression of fear instilled into her frozen-like body as she disappears into the blackness.

"Sakura!"

Kakashi's yell is swallowed by the murmuring void, and for a fleeting moment, he thought he heard someone speak, loud and clear as if they were in his ear.

Fearfully, he averts to Sasuke, who is looking equally petrified at something.

"Sasuke! Sasuke!"

But he does not hear, and when his hand lets go of Naruto's leg, he too is hovering in the same chilling manner as Sakura.

In that moment, Kakashi realises that his hand had automatically detached from Naruto's other side. Sasuke and the rest of Naruto's lower half suddenly disappears without a shred of resistance.

"Shit!"

Even his spoken word is devoured by the passively violent darkness.

Then, his consciousness turns blank and his body feels like splashing liquid. Higher he soars, until his head reaches the hole and he is engulfed by its mysterious presence.

Below, the village of Konoha sleeps on, the unconscious bodies of three ninjas and the town's Hokage lay to waste in the cold quietude of an otherwise ordinary night.

Only when the sun rises and the residents begin their daily business do they realise the extent of last night's commotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel: On The Road With Time is the first story of a three part trilogy.


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